Pony Clubs and pony club parents!

Doormouse

Doormouse

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My daughter is still very little so real big pony club is a few years off but she did a little camp last week for the mini's and I suppose it got me thinking about what people think makes a good pony club and how the parents attitudes vary in different pony clubs or not.

The reason I say about the parents is that I was speaking to a Granny who I know vaguely and she asked me who I knew at the rally and I said Mrs B and her son and she immediately said "oh yes, they take it very seriously". That prickled with me a bit because I know they make a big effort with fancy dress classes over the summer and do some lead rein and stuff but way she said it made me feel that it is wrong to make an effort with your child and pony? Perhaps I am just being a bit sensitive but I do like my ponies to look smart and well and I like my daughter to be correctly turned out. Now I'm a bit worried that I may be going to make her some sort of object of teasing!

Are some pony clubs more competitive than others? Do standards vary enormously, both in the riding and the turnout?
 
I can remember when I was a small pony club child, I found it very funny that some of the mums would get incredibly dressed up in "church clothes" and matching hats to do the lead rein classes at rallies and local shows - I don't think it was limited to pony club though.

I like to think that the good thing about PC is that there are standards maintained by those who organise it, so that very small children go all the way through pony club realising that it isn't acceptable to have grotty tack and hair all over the place.

There is nothing wrong with being a keen and involved "pony club mum" mine had as much fun when I was at pony club as I did (probably more, in you factor in pony club camp mum's vino session!). The only mum's who were the subject of gossip were the ones that hounded their children to the point where it wasn't fun - because PC is meant to be fun :)
 
All parents should be banned from pony club so that the kids can have fun.
I remember some years ago the chairman of a National teams competition that the best team of kids to work with is a team of orphans!

Clubs vary so much depending on who is on the committee at the time. The club I belong to has gone from around 80 members to just forty in just four years as the result of a committee member with a big mouth and an attitude to match. Fortunately last year she stood down and our club is now fun to attend.

Historically our branch was known as the one to attend if you were competitive, we are lucky to have great facilities as we have our own land, club house, arena and show jumps. The other branch is much more low key and tends to attract younger riders and those on new young horses or ponies.

Sadly we are suffering as much as any other club from lack of help - parents are too busy watching their kids or making excuses such as 'My daughter isn't interested in eventing/showjumping,games,dressage etc so I am not prepared to help. Then once they are interested the parent needs to watch the child.

It seems to be the same old dedicated few that run the show.

Pony Club has so much to offer in the way of introducing riders to a variety of disciplines, encouraging comradeship, leadership and confidence.

Ultimately you get out what you put in.
 
jemima*askin said:
Yes and yes.


I think you're probably way over thinking this though.
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Me too :) I'm a secretary of a very small branch (28 members). We have possibly 3/4 members that compete out of PC (BS,BE & unaffil SJ) , the rest are more leisure riders that come to PC for the kids to get lessons & mix with other children. I'd say every single member though have very high standards of turnout regardless of their riding ability & competitiveness or lack of. We are based more towards novice & young riders though,having only 2 members that are over the age of 14 (2 of the few that compete) & the younger ones really enjoy coming with their best kit on looking well cleaned & ponies sparkling & plaited. The parents & kids don't seem to be bothered if the kids win any jumping/games but they all like to win the turnout!
 
Nice to know there is a branch as small as we are!! I organize rallies for our 21 strong branch. Plus I am a pony club mum to a competitive (and well turned out!) child.

Yes - branches vary enormously. Plus switching is now actively discouraged so if you are in an area with more than one PC do have a good look at the options. What suits your daughter at this stage may not be as good for her later. Plus of course the nature of each branch varies enormously with who is on the committee etc - we are all volunteers after all!

But if you are in an area where there is only one branch available join it, then volunteer for the committee and work from within to shape the branch. Kids will tease each other - there isn't much we can really do about it other than give them a strong enough sense of self worth to withstand it.

As Tnavers says - you get out what you put in. That goes for those whose contribution is negative as well as those who get stuck in and help.
 
OP I think you over-reacted to the comment about "taking it seriously." Some people do, some people don't it is up to you how much effort you want to put in. High standards are encouraged I always thought. Since the Pony Club is based on Army principles, and the early DC and instructors were ex Army,
it is hardly surprising.

The standards of turnout, tack cleaning, etc. have stayed with me since Pony Club days. I wouldn't dream of turning up for a lesson with an instructor without polishing my boots or cleaning the tack. In one Pony Club team competition even the bottom of the riders' boots was inspected. Added to the "you can't be too rich or too thin" I would add "or well turned out."
 
Shay said:
Nice to know there is a branch as small as we are!! I organize rallies for our 21 strong branch. Plus I am a pony club mum to a competitive (and well turned out!) child.

Yes - branches vary enormously. Plus switching is now actively discouraged so if you are in an area with more than one PC do have a good look at the options. What suits your daughter at this stage may not be as good for her later. Plus of course the nature of each branch varies enormously with who is on the committee etc - we are all volunteers after all!

But if you are in an area where there is only one branch available join it, then volunteer for the committee and work from within to shape the branch. Kids will tease each other - there isn't much we can really do about it other than give them a strong enough sense of self worth to withstand it.

As Tnavers says - you get out what you put in. That goes for those whose contribution is negative as well as those who get stuck in and help.
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I very much agree! For example we've had a young girl just transfer from us to a very much larger branch. She has been with us since the age of about 9, but now at 17 feels she needs to move to somewhere more competitive. I completely understand her reasoning as my daughter is 18 & still a member of our branch. She doesn't get much out of it anymore Tbh but it does the young horse good & the daughter loves helping the little members (she assists with the games team & is a leader at camp).

I agree that a good committee is essential, but also willing parents. We only have 5 people on our committee & it's impossible for us to do everything. We would be lost without our members parents, although saying that we still have a handful that will never ever help despite them seeing day in & day out how much hard work it is. They even see that most of our events, that I always attend, do not even cater for my own child, yet we both still turn up (usually without the horse unless it's a rally) to set things up that their child will benefit from - it drives me crazy! (Sorry it's turning into a rant now!!) xx
 
I agree you may be being a little over-sensitive to the comment, unless there was a lot more to the conversation than you have reported! Taking Pony Club seriously can be a good thing if it means:

- Your child and pony have a good standard of turnout
- Your child and pony turn up to lots of rallies and events
- You ensure your child and pony have the correct training for the activities you want to do
- You get involved with running and organising Pony Club activities

Taking it seriously can be a problem if you end up:

- Bad mouthing all the other children and their ponies on a regular basis
- Thinking that the Pony Club should revolve around your child solely
- Always moaning that your child hasn't been put in a high enough rally group or a good enough team
- Making other children cry with your catty comments
- Reducing instructors to the verge of insanity with your bad attitude

So yes, you can take it TOO seriously, but I am sure you fit into the first category, not the second!
 
Our PC is a very competitive one, we also have lots of fun stuff aswell. We have rules on turnout and behaviour. Sadly due to a very small group of people we will not be rejoining next year . I bring my kids up to treat others as they wish to be treated, so I expect fair play and for the rules to be followed . As they are not and nothing is being done about it my daughter has missed out on her last chance for some events this year. Not because she isnt good enough but because of one other parent who insist on their little darlings having the place . They have another two years . My kids have had fun and learnt a lot but we will probably join a riding club next year . For a charity run by volunteers it can be very good but can only be as good as the committee . Most of our members work really hard but have been let down by the DC. Check out which pony clubs do what disciplines , if you have a choice it is worth making sure they do everything. Not all clubs do mounted games . I wouldnt worry too much about the comments you will meet loads of people and some you will learn to avoid and some will become long term friends.
 
TGM said:
I agree you may be being a little over-sensitive to the comment, unless there was a lot more to the conversation than you have reported! Taking Pony Club seriously can be a good thing if it means:

- Your child and pony have a good standard of turnout
- Your child and pony turn up to lots of rallies and events
- You ensure your child and pony have the correct training for the activities you want to do
- You get involved with running and organising Pony Club activities

Taking it seriously can be a problem if you end up:

- Bad mouthing all the other children and their ponies on a regular basis
- Thinking that the Pony Club should revolve around your child solely
- Always moaning that your child hasn't been put in a high enough rally group or a good enough team
- Making other children cry with your catty comments
- Reducing instructors to the verge of insanity with your bad attitude

So yes, you can take it TOO seriously, but I am sure you fit into the first category, not the second!
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TMG - you obviously a very experienced Pony Club Mother!
 
TGM said:
I agree you may be being a little over-sensitive to the comment, unless there was a lot more to the conversation than you have reported! Taking Pony Club seriously can be a good thing if it means:

- Your child and pony have a good standard of turnout
- Your child and pony turn up to lots of rallies and events
- You ensure your child and pony have the correct training for the activities you want to do
- You get involved with running and organising Pony Club activities

Taking it seriously can be a problem if you end up:

- Bad mouthing all the other children and their ponies on a regular basis
- Thinking that the Pony Club should revolve around your child solely
- Always moaning that your child hasn't been put in a high enough rally group or a good enough team
- Making other children cry with your catty comments
- Reducing instructors to the verge of insanity with your bad attitude

So yes, you can take it TOO seriously, but I am sure you fit into the first category, not the second!
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This should be on the front page of every PC website :D
 
jemima*askin said:
This should be on the front page of every PC website :D
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Totally agree, I have been a PC mom for the last 13 years and both my children have done it. A lot can be gained from PC and I believe you get out of it what you put into it. I have always been a helper, helping setting up camp, shows, rallies and I LOVE IT.
We do have some parents that just come along and moan continuously but they attend every rally/camp/show, so it can't be that bad.

I do always think that all members should be correctly turned out and be proud to be part of such a huge organisation and be taught to respect your pony/horse it's not a machine.
 
Doormouse said:
The reason I say about the parents is that I was speaking to a Granny who I know vaguely and she asked me who I knew at the rally and I said Mrs B and her son and she immediately said "oh yes, they take it very seriously". That prickled with me a bit because I know they make a big effort with fancy dress classes over the summer and do some lead rein and stuff but way she said it made me feel that it is wrong to make an effort with your child and pony? Perhaps I am just being a bit sensitive but I do like my ponies to look smart and well and I like my daughter to be correctly turned out. Now I'm a bit worried that I may be going to make her some sort of object of teasing!
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You are being over sensitive.

I am not a pony club mother (yet!) but am a long time and v experienced PC instructor. I have seen it ALL ;)

One of the main problems can be what you have described above - one mother taking offence at a throwaway comment made by another, and reading too much into it, which then snowballs into a major disagreement/atmosphere.

Your horse and child can never be too well turned out - this will NOT make you an object of teasing or bad feeling.

As long as you are kind and friendly to others, and keep your opinions to yourself unless asked for (and even then be conservative), helpful to others and kind to your child, you can't go far wrong.

For example - if you're at a comp and your child takes the wrong course and is eliminated, is your reaction -

A) to laugh heartily WITH them, and suggest helpful ways to remember next time, and go for a go in the clear round.

OR

B) to be very angry at the child for not following a simple set of numbers; I mean, you've given up YOUR day to be here, not to mention bought the pony etc, and why should you bother if the stupid kid can't even remember a simple COURSE!? Then threaten to sell the pony.

Obviously, A is correct.......but you wouldn't believe how many choose B........:eek3:
 
To be fair, the above response depends on the age and experience of the child! My sister went through a patch I not walking courses properly when she was 12/13 and subsequently getting eliminated. She was experienced and old enough to not waste time an money like that and so those mistakes were met with a lot of piss taking and a bit of a dressing down.

PC mummies can be the bane of my life but the good ones far outweigh the bad. An the children are generally oblivious.
 
Well it could have been a praise or a criticism of the seriously mother as per TGM's post so I really wouldn't give it any thought!
 
Love the TGM post. Some are very competetive & specialise in certain events, so attract kids who want to do that thing seriously. Not a problem, as long as the parents don't get to up themselves. Many are very good. I used to livery at a farm where the owner was dc of a pc, & held both mini & proper camps there each year. Were fantastic for the kids. I also known one where two friends went to a rally (speperate occasions), to be put in a group according to their age rather than their young horses training level, so were totally overfaced & forever put off. One, where the horse kept refusing the fence (built according to rider age not novice horse level) the 'instructor' threw a sj pole at it as it went to stop to 'encourage' it over, just totally freaked horse & subsequently rider. Recently I asked a friend why her daughter had changed pc (done well nationally on pc sj & eventing teams). Mum said their was too much jealousy regarding her daughter (who produced her own inexpensive horses including backing), taking all fun out of it. Chose to move to friendlier pc, even though she can't compete on its teams for 18 months. Bottom line is she wants to have fun with like-minded people.

Go along with an open mind, keep opinions to yourself. If you aren't enjoying that pc, there are others which may suit you both better. A good one is such a wonderful experience for the kids.
 
every PC has their own collection of pain in the @sses

for example when a family joined our pony club (having moved from up country) we were warned about the mother by their old PC....if only they'd stayed put I'm quite sure my and a lot of other people's PC experience would be much better
 
I am sure it was just a throwaway comment. My eldest daughter did several years with PC and had a wonderful time, I love the fact that correct turnout and high standards are encouraged. As a young mum I found it a little more difficult. The group that my daughter tended to get put with had Mothers that were almost exclusively older wealthy landowning families. They were all very friendly but it is difficult to make conversation with so little in common. One commented how ghastly it must be for me when I said we wouldn't be attending a certain clinic because I couldn't get time of work. I wouldn't give hoot about it now, with age and experience my skin has toughed up nicely.
 
Magicmillbrook said:
I am sure it was just a throwaway comment. My eldest daughter did several years with PC and had a wonderful time, I love the fact that correct turnout and high standards are encouraged. As a young mum I found it a little more difficult. The group that my daughter tended to get put with had Mothers that were almost exclusively older wealthy landowning families. They were all very friendly but it is difficult to make conversation with so little in common. One commented how ghastly it must be for me when I said we wouldn't be attending a certain clinic because I couldn't get time of work. I wouldn't give hoot about it now, with age and experience my skin has toughed up nicely.
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Yes, pretty much the reason we upped ship! The year they refused to hold PC camp at a time that state school children could attend as there were only three of us who'd expressed an interest in going... Mum lost it completely. Although that PC is the richest in the area so a lot of them have no idea about anything outside their bubble.
 
Cool, well I was obviously being over sensitive so I will just kick on as normal and see how we go.

I'm certainly not a competive mother and having had a very competive father who is very hard on me I will not be making that mistake!

Thank you for all your replies, I'm sure I will posting plenty over the next few years!
 
Pony club are like any group mum's that stand out the school gates, you always get a bragger, the one that is dressed up to the nines, the one who is always at odds with the teacher. The most important thing is to find one that best suits your child and you. A lot do their programmes on line, so look where and when their rallies are and do they suit you. Your child a pony are expected to be correctly dressed and tacked up, but its not a show and most DCs realise mums work now and most have a secondhand stall.
Our pony club covered huge area so had farmers, landowners, 'gentry' and townies children, like life you have to learn how to a long with everyone, and often those with the most money are the least snobbish.
 
As a teenager taking my BHS instructors exams, I used to make jokes about the dreaded PC mothers all the time. Now I am a PC mother I would really hope people think I take it seriously and would take being told so as a compliment. To me taking it seriously means making sure pony and kids are well turned out, well behaved, well mannered, exercise good sportsmanship and above all have a blooming good time whether they come first or last and regardless of how many hiccups and changes of plan there are. OP if anyone ever tells you that you take PC camp seriously say "blooming right I do!" with as big a smile as you can manage ;)
 
Doormouse said:
My daughter is still very little so real big pony club is a few years off but she did a little camp last week for the mini's and I suppose it got me thinking about what people think makes a good pony club and how the parents attitudes vary in different pony clubs or not.

The reason I say about the parents is that I was speaking to a Granny who I know vaguely and she asked me who I knew at the rally and I said Mrs B and her son and she immediately said "oh yes, they take it very seriously". That prickled with me a bit because I know they make a big effort with fancy dress classes over the summer and do some lead rein and stuff but way she said it made me feel that it is wrong to make an effort with your child and pony? Perhaps I am just being a bit sensitive but I do like my ponies to look smart and well and I like my daughter to be correctly turned out. Now I'm a bit worried that I may be going to make her some sort of object of teasing!

Are some pony clubs more competitive than others? Do standards vary enormously, both in the riding and the turnout?
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I use to know a mother who had two daughters who both competed at PC events when one got eliminated she was publicly dressed down then made to sit in the lorry the rest of day in disgrace until the other daughter classes finished.

To me that's taking things to seriously/being horrible but as long as your not taking things too seriously at your child's expense I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine.
 
Lolo said:
Yes, pretty much the reason we upped ship! The year they refused to hold PC camp at a time that state school children could attend as there were only three of us who'd expressed an interest in going... Mum lost it completely. Although that PC is the richest in the area so a lot of them have no idea about anything outside their bubble.
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If Evie ever shows enough interest to do PC we will be going North or South!
 
Every pony club has a mixture of types. Some will do your head in, others will become wonderful friends. That goes for children and adult (and often organisers!).

I agree that a small amount of parents do a large amount of the work when it comes to PC, I always used to be shocked at how people could sit and watch the clear round fences be put away by one person (one year I was even in a sling carrying fences in while grown men watched me!).

OP I hope your daughter enjoys her years at pc as much as I did and my stepson did.

ps,I would have taken the "they take it seriously" comment to mean "they've beaten us a few times!"
 
pip6 said:
Recently I asked a friend why her daughter had changed pc (done well nationally on pc sj & eventing teams). Mum said their was too much jealousy regarding her daughter (who produced her own inexpensive horses including backing), taking all fun out of it. Chose to move to friendlier pc, even though she can't compete on its teams for 18 months. Bottom line is she wants to have fun with like-minded people. .
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For what reason has the rider been denied inclusion in teams - UK PC rules state that to qualify:-
All horses and ponies must have genuinely participated at a minimum of 3 working rallies since 1st July in the previous year, one of which must have been in the current year, with a Member of The Pony Club. Rallies must be advertised at least seven days prior to the date of the Rally, and organised by Branch Committees or Centre Proprietors.
6. All riders entered must be active members of the stated Branch or Centre of The Pony Club who have participated at a minimum of three working rallies of this or their previous Branch or Centre since 1st July in the previous year, excluding team practices and coaching, and Rallies must be advertised at least seven days prior to the date of the Rally. Attendance at camp counts as one working rally.

This has been copied from the UK PC rules.

Her daughter certainly doesn't have to wait 18 months before being able to represent her club
 
A friends daughter has just changed pony clubs, had to write a formal letter asking current dc if they were allowed to move, request was granted but on the condition she couldnt ride for the new pony club teams for 14 months!
 
Tnavas said:
For what reason has the rider been denied inclusion in teams - UK PC rules state that to qualify:-
All horses and ponies must have genuinely participated at a minimum of 3 working rallies since 1st July in the previous year, one of which must have been in the current year, with a Member of The Pony Club. Rallies must be advertised at least seven days prior to the date of the Rally, and organised by Branch Committees or Centre Proprietors.
6. All riders entered must be active members of the stated Branch or Centre of The Pony Club who have participated at a minimum of three working rallies of this or their previous Branch or Centre since 1st July in the previous year, excluding team practices and coaching, and Rallies must be advertised at least seven days prior to the date of the Rally. Attendance at camp counts as one working rally.

This has been copied from the UK PC rules.

Her daughter certainly doesn't have to wait 18 months before being able to represent her club
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It's the rule when changing clubs. It's to stop clubs 'poaching' good members from other clubs, or offering incentives to change.
It is certainly around a year - 18 months but can't remember how long. I'm an instructor who coaches PC teams so know that this rule certainly exists and is enforced!

:)
 
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