Positivity issues - Advice please....

H

H-J

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So am after some advice, as I may have mentioned in the past im not a great fan of SJing am far more comfortable confident XC and dressae/flatwork.

So was talking to mum last night and she was saying how she doesnt want me to get so stressed next year, as I seem to have such issues with my SJ, I feel physically sick, I cant eat all day, have all my supestitions and get into the warm up and just want to get in there and get it over with.

Now the weird thing is I jump around 1.20M in my lessons with ease and once warmed up am fine, and when im jumping every week which I think has something to do with keeping my eye in, as I jumped last night firstly jumped a PN size X and upright and was checking and fussing and got a few dodgy strides, didnt touch anything though. So got off to wack fences up and baring in mind havent jump at all for 2 wks I just put them up to what I normally jump and got on, now as I got on I got that sick nervous feeling and I thought right why is that and it isnt the fear of jumping them and I popped them fine and whizzed round to the 1.15M oxer and flew it lovely, its he fear of getting it wrong, that is my MAJOR issue im a perfectionist and I worry about getting it wrong so much so I turn myself into a wreck!! What can I do to improve/eliminate this? Any tips!!

Thing is im much much better the bigger I jump as I cant afford to sit and think and check to the fence I just have to ride and get on with and not fuss!!

Ive even considered going to see someone about it as my problem is negative thoughts, how do I turn these into positive thoughts??!?

On watching one of Pippas DVD's the other day who has suffered from something like this she says she used to look at a corner or something and think of all the times she had jumped a corner and it had gone wrong.....this is exactly what I do, when infact iver prob well I have jumped one well far more then wrong so why dont I think about that!! Does everyone hink positively all the time??

Sorry for long post!!
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I am the opp! Get me jumping at home and in lessons and it goes wrong! Get me a ring and ride so well !!

I have Showjumping lessons with a very good SJer and she has taught me to ride most of my fences on a corner not straight as you get straight when you get to the fence (If that makes sense)! I also do not look at the fence at all I look straight over it and do not worry about my stide, I tend to see my stride from miles away LOL!
Just do not think about it, ride like a bitch
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just do think about what you are doing so much, try and keep the horse on his hocks and hold him until you can see your stride and push with your seat, if you ride your canter strides through your seat you can feel it!

I hope this makes sense!!
 
Try getting someone to do some NLP work with you. It uses a range of techniques including positive visualisation. I used it when we were having problems hacking out alone and it worked really well
 
I second what molineux says - dont worry about striding, and focus on something the other side. Im useless at home, im one of these riders than need adrenaline (sp) Have lessons with as many different trainers as you can as one of them will say something that just makes everything click into place, I think ive found mine - just wish I had more time and money to spend with him!
I hate that sick feeling that we get when were having a lesson and the instructor puts the jump up - ive learnt not to watch the jump adjustment - it really helps
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Ive been told that for years to just sit and wait for the fence to come to you and although it has majorly improved I still find it hard to do at fences below a 1m.

I also have to look at the fence and was told by David and Lisa Merrit either look beyond the top rail or at the top rail, pick a trend and stick to it, I always look at the top of the rail. Its more in my head needed positive thoughts not the height. Mum said to put a sticky note up saying I love SJing I love SJing!!
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Have lots of lessons with different ppl and a clinic planned in Feb am doing all the right things on the horse, its my mind that nds sorting! Im very much like that anyway though everything has to be neat and tidy and clean and perfect!!
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Think I may have a bit of OCD!!
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I've been to a sports psychologist today, for the same reasons you all mention, my sj coach thought I should, as its not lack of ability, my problems are in my head!! Can do it fine one day, can't the next. She was fab, have yet to jump, but I'm sure once I've worked through all my issues, life will be easier. PM me if you want her number.
 
I choose to look at the top rail though and always have done
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Thats not really my issue though my issue is negative thoughts and worrying so much about getting it wrong and c**king up that I fuss and freeze and do c**k it up!!!
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[ QUOTE ]
Its he fear of getting it wrong, that is my MAJOR issue im a perfectionist and I worry about getting it wrong so much so I turn myself into a wreck!! What can I do to improve/eliminate this? Any tips!!

Thing is im much much better the bigger I jump as I cant afford to sit and think and check to the fence I just have to ride and get on with and not fuss!!

Ive even considered going to see someone about it as my problem is negative thoughts, how do I turn these into positive thoughts??!?

On watching one of Pippas DVD's the other day who has suffered from something like this she says she used to look at a corner or something and think of all the times she had jumped a corner and it had gone wrong.....this is exactly what I do, when infact iver prob well I have jumped one well far more then wrong so why dont I think about that!! Does everyone hink positively all the time??

Sorry for long post!!
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I can totally relate to all this part of your post!!!!
Can't really offer alot of help tho... apart from ending your practice jump on a good note, and ride into the ring thinking Fig Jam (changing the word starting with a G) F*ck i'm Good!!!!!
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God, i'm totally amazing!! I'm an awesome tallent... ok, you get the idea? haha
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Holly, don't ever look at a fence and think of what you've done wrong but think of how many times you have jumped it right. Don't let those negative thoughts even start, if they do then squash them! I know how you feel, I am crap at Sjing and am really nervous and always have been but am confident x-c. Remember the problem isn't the Sj but the way you think (and probably too much) about it and when we x-c we are so much more attacking, you are more than capable of jumping huge courses (I've followed your posts) so believe in yourself and stop thinking so much x
 
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Holly, don't ever look at a fence and think of what you've done wrong but think of how many times you have jumped it right. Don't let those negative thoughts even start, if they do then squash them! I know how you feel, I am crap at Sjing and am really nervous and always have been but am confident x-c. Remember the problem isn't the Sj but the way you think (and probably too much) about it and when we x-c we are so much more attacking, you are more than capable of jumping huge courses (I've followed your posts) so believe in yourself and stop thinking so much x

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awwww thank you
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I understand exactly what you say just need to put it in practise!!
 
you need to go and do some cross jump!
then you will be in the mind frame of cross-country, but having to do showjumps!
i get nervous when at big comps because i think *oh god i hope i dont make a prat of myself* and also *i dont want to create a problem so i wont jump that*
but i just swallow my nerves and get on with it, and just put all my faith in horse - its all i can do!

you need to stop saying "i am not a fan of sjing" - and replace it with "i am not perfect at sjing, but i will be!"

try and have a lesson at a different venue, somewhere that you could possibly be competing at later on. then you can relax and just jump!
also, i believe that you are going to have to fall off! (not intentionall) this will settle your nerves and make you realise that getting it wrong is not bad thing, as not everyone is perfect
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only my opinon anyhoos!
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(have a confidence poem if you want it? but got the feeling that its not that issue, its the fact that you dont want hit a big fence wrong
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i can totally relate to this, as sj isn't my favourite either.
best advice i can give is to ignore the fences (other than aiming for them, preferably in the right order!) and fix 99% of your attention on the CANTER. if the canter is right, the jumps are easy peasy, even if you are a bit off or deep. get the canter absolutely right - balanced, energetic, positive, nice in the hand, and ride positively forward around the corner to the fence, keeping the canter and the rhythm.
try saying something in your head in time to the canter, like "keep the can ter nice and boun cy round the cor ner all the way to the fence", or count the strides (to help keep the rhythm, rather than "canter canter canter hook hook jump", or something), just go "7 6 5 4 3 2 jump", it doesn't matter if you don't count down to one, it's the rhythm staying the same that matters. this really really works, i swear.
riding in a more jump-off tempo works for me, too. if i think about riding slightly against the clock, then it stops me being crappy hookylooky to a fence. i just keep coming to the fence with the leg on, which is the key to it all.
hope that makes sense.
 
Like Kerilli says, pretend your in a jump off. Not in the way that you're cutting corners etc. but in that "mode" which naturally makes your ride far more forward and positive. When walking the course, do NOT look at the fences - just walk round meaning business striding the fences out. Don't look at them though or you might start thinking: oh god, planks we always hit those or whatever. I find its helped a lot for me. I used to over-analyse fences which made me a bit nervous before I went in. Now, I just tend to get on with it. That, and not giving a crap who's watching! I've recently moved up to foxhunter and felt like a right pleb the first couple of times because I felt everybody would think I was a terrible rider and why was I doing that level! Now I shut them all out and just ride for myself
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Remember the worst you can ever be is 1/2 a stride off a fence anyway
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CCJ hates the SJ phase as well if that helps!
She finds the dressage easy, just loves the XC unless it's enormous and then mentally kicks herself up the bum before the start.
We decided to find someone she really clicked with to help her show jumping and she's got a professional eventer training her at the moment. Only had two sessions but what an improvement!
I came past the arena this week to see enormous fences with oxers and arrowed poles and she had jumped them on both horses without worrying.
I think the work you do at home makes a massive difference to how you feel when at a competition, if it's been effortless in practice there is no reason to doubt your ability at an event.
I think a sport's phsycologist would train you to only see positive thoughts whenever you think about competing, or if you feel negative to make you imagine turning that situation into a positive one. (sorry that's hard to explain).
One of the best methods for removing negative thinking is to have a black box in your head which you firmly open, place the thought in there, close and lock with a padlock.. yes I know it sounds potty but it works....or imagine sweeping inside your head with a brush until it's totally clean and then try to think positively.
Nowadays sportsmen use techniques like the above a lot more, it's no fluke they appear calm and detemined at comps you know..it's mental training that does it.
She doesn't eat at competitions until she finishes either, I try offering mars bars as well as fruit, but she only drinks until it's over with.
 
Henryhorn you are exactly right, that's what the sports psychologist discussed with me today. I told her some days I set off for a lesson or comp, & know we're going to have a good time, sometimes I know it will be poo before I've even left the house! She then explained that this isn't real, it's just a feeling, & you have to train your mind out of this with visualisation. Going to work some more on that with her next time, as I was so mental we ran out of time. Mind you, felt a bit daft when she said, give me 4 words to describe Kizzy, & I answered, "black", how stupid did I feel, she meant like loyal or stuff like that!!!
 
Following on to HH's mental imaging idea above, a friend of mine has a more modern version: she imagines her mind as a computer "desktop" and every time a negative thought appears she thinks of it as a file and "drags and drops" it to the trash. I think the fact that it's sort of a joke helps cut the tension.

As everyone has said, good training, both from an instructor and of your horse, is imperative. It's a little different for different people but I find a lot of riders get panicked about things they don't THOROUGHLY understand, so they don't have a tried and trusted plan of action. A good instructor should hit a balance between building up you skills and then setting exercises to build your confidence in them. It's amazing what you can jump in a good lesson sometimes!

If you have the resources a good sports psychologist might be an idea. There are also tons of books on the subject. Different approaches work for different people so you might have to fiddle a bit to find a good individual routine but it's worth persevering.

I always figure showjumps fall down so there's no need to worry.
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If I'm having some trouble in the corner (the success and failure of each jump relies, as said above, on you canter and your corner) I always mentally say to the horse, "Well, you can jump it or wear it - your choice," and just keep riding. Amazing how often they choose jumping it.;)
 
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