Post Your Translations Of Horsey Jargon Here!

'We've done a lot of lunging' - horse won't let anyone ride him
'He's done a lot of arena work' - won't hack
'Will go in front or behind' - in an arena
Hacks out alone - as long as in company
Competes regularly - but has never won so much as a carrot
 
xc schooled - took it round last week either A) hacked it round & didnt jump any of the jumps, B) couldn't hold the ****** back, NEVER taking it again!
more suited to dressage home - have tried battering it still won't jump.
perfect hacking horse - goes up vertical if attempted to enter arena.
 
Unshod - farrier has asked for danger money before going near it again
Playful nature - bites, kicks and barges
Forward going- doesnt stop
Safe ride - doesnt move
Responsive - dont even think about taking up a contact
Sensitive - psycho
Loves to jump, never stops - EVER!!!
 
Good to catch, box, vet etc = don't assume the things I've missed out are in the "etc"
Won or placed every time out = we've only been to one show and we were lucky
Out of [fantastic sire] dam = no I've never heard of him either
Will make a fantastic [insert discipline here] = I haven't a clue what he'll be like, but if he doesn't succeed it will be your fault
Kind = hasn't kicked me yet
 
OMG!! these are absolutely brilliant but now every advert has a hidden meaning for me!! so when i look at adverts suitable for a novice, good to do, looks after its rider, etc, etc, it really means something completely different! :D
 
Cheeky personally sounds like my new yearling filly :-D
Mouthy, bargy and rude.
We are working on it :-D
 
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Hacks alone = it's been out alone once and I managed to stay on board.

P.S. Why do so many adverts claim that the horse is 'stunning'. Please, use some different adjectives!
 
Very sad sale - Had big plans and this animal has ended them all...
Loan with view to buy - Take it away, please don't try to return it...
Fantastic bone - Cob...
Walking in feather - Hairy cob...
Schoolmaster - Does things his way, regardless of rider...
Has been living out - Bedraggled, dirty, probably has rainscald/mud fever, numerous scrapes and bumps...
Would suit a competition home - Never gets tired and jumps out of everywhere we try to put it, including the stable/horsebox...
Home more important than price - Will pay you to take it away, please...
 
''Has been seen to weave'' - weaves all the time, like a pendulum, on extra fast.
''Has been seen to box walk'' - gallops round the stable, gets very dizzy.
''Has been seen to windsuck'' - Don't give it anything it can get it mouth on to, or all the air in the vicinity will be vacuummed up in constant heavy gulps.

Beautifully marked - isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder?
Good walk on him - won't do anything else!
Brilliant jumper - out hacking, at shadows, leaves and rubbish, not to mention drain covers.
Aged about 4 - no idea how old he is, he bites if you get too close, but he has been on the circuit for many years. Acts like he is 4.
 
And regarding pricing:

No offers - We feel this is the right price...
Nearest reasonable offer - May negotiate a little, will throw in headcollar...
Very nearest offer - Planning on playing off all would be buyers to keep price up...
All sensible offers considered - Not about to try our luck if you know anything about horses but will add a couple of hundred on if you are a novice...
May negotiate - Rugs may be included...
First to see will buy - Will take whatever we can get...
Can provide transport - Keen to sell...
Transport included in price - Desperate to sell...
All tack available - For additional sum...
Comes with full wardrobe - To heck with this, I'm taking up a safer hobby, maybe base jumping...
 
Colours of horses:

White - Grey, or possibly cream...
Bay - Anything from chestnut to bay to brown...
Brown - Bay...
Black - Brown or dark bay...
Grey - Steel grey...
Palomino - Chestnut...
Dun - Buckskin or grey...
Buckskin - Bright bay...
Roan - Grey or possibly roan...
Spotted - Dapple grey, fleabitten grey or appaloosa...
Rose grey - Grey...
Chestnut - Chestnut or palomino, possibly buckskin...
Dark grey - Grey...
Paint - Skinny coloured, minimal mane and tail...
Coloured - White markings...
Flashy/Stunning Coloured - Lots of white markings, probably hairy...
Almost Coated Out - Has hit the ugly phase and resembles a yak...
Medicine Eye - Blue eye or eyes, add a zero to price...
 
Project Horse - Thought I could back myself/ You'll spend a lot of time in A+E/ Complete lunatic
Will Jump anything - at 100mph, wont be stopped for miles
Excellent Breeding - Bred for the hell of it
ISH - Mental but quick about it
Schoolmaster - Old, Slow, Dead to the leg
 
Arizahn said:
Colours of horses:

White - Grey, or possibly cream...
Bay - Anything from chestnut to bay to brown...
Brown - Bay...
Black - Brown or dark bay...
Grey - Steel grey...
Palomino - Chestnut...
Dun - Buckskin or grey...
Buckskin - Bright bay...
Roan - Grey or possibly roan...
Spotted - Dapple grey, fleabitten grey or appaloosa...
Rose grey - Grey...
Chestnut - Chestnut or palomino, possibly buckskin...
Dark grey - Grey...
Paint - Skinny coloured, minimal mane and tail...
Coloured - White markings...
Flashy/Stunning Coloured - Lots of white markings, probably hairy...
Almost Coated Out - Has hit the ugly phase and resembles a yak...
Medicine Eye - Blue eye or eyes, add a zero to price...
Click to expand...

hehe I always think there must be some confusion going on about the amount of different things to call a grey horse is it wishful thinking or ignorance do you think :P
 
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Aged Pony - Elderly and ought to be retired...
Young Pony - Foal, weaned if you are lucky...
Young Mare Horse - Filly aged two to three...
Young Male Horse - Colt foal or yearling...
Stallion - Male, entire, over the age of two...
Flashy Gelding - Rig...
Quiet Gelding - Still might be a rig, but the supplement is helping...
Perfect Gentleman - Not a rig, but may still be entire...
Not At All Coltish - Hormones haven't kicked in yet...
Never Ever Mareish - Mwa ha ha ha ha, it's November, suckers....
No Stud Mannerisms - Nice enough behaviour, but still a stallion...
Gelding - 50% of these will actually be geldings, the others are colts/stallions, but very quiet like so they count as geldings...
Foal - Anything aged under three...
Youngster - Anything aged under six...
Yearling - Foal...
 
'has seen coloured poles' - and then reared up and b*ggered off at 100mph
'wasted with current owner' - can't harness that amazing ablity to jump out of fields and piaffe (on the way home on hacks), and make it useful in the show ring.
 
Brushing boots = not boots at all
Change the rein = keep the reins exactly as they are but change direction
Leg on = actually take it away slightly, then put it back on your horse's side. And if that doesn't work kick the little !"£$%!
Breathe = yes I know you've done it all your life, but breathe deeper
Inside leg = riders have 4 legs - left, right, inside and outside
Chestnut = actually not the colour of a chestnut, that's a bay. Chestnut is ginger
Grey = white in anybody else's language. Unless it's just come in from the field. Then it's brown. Or green.
Relax your knee = widen your thighs until they hurt like !"£$%!
Soft hands = actually soft elbows
Near side = left if you are looking in the same direction as the horse
Off side = not the side you get off
 
Groom wanted for busy competition yard with five large horses! This great opportunity will benefit a confident and experienced person who is keen to spend more time around horses. -- What, you didn't actually think this would be a *paid* job, did you? And our horses are all over 17hh and every one is mad as a box of frogs.

(I really did just see an ad looking for a groom to work, for free, with five "large" competition horses. So they're not Breyer horses then?)
 
'Seen coloured poles' - never again.
'Forward-going' - mental
'Will go a long way for competent rider' - mental
'Cheeky' - mental
'Jumped BS on a ticket' - you can't prove it hasn't

Also, why are so many advertised as 'perfect mother/daughter share' - are there that many mums and daughters hoping to share?
 
Mother/ daughter share= really it's too small for an adult, but it's too mental for a child, so mother will have to get on weekly to remind it of some manners.
 
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