Post Your Translations Of Horsey Jargon Here!

Caol Ila said:
Groom wanted for busy competition yard with five large horses! This great opportunity will benefit a confident and experienced person who is keen to spend more time around horses. -- What, you didn't actually think this would be a *paid* job, did you? And our horses are all over 17hh and every one is mad as a box of frogs.

(I really did just see an ad looking for a groom to work, for free, with five "large" competition horses. So they're not Breyer horses then?)
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Some people are completely mad as a box of frogs lol
 
Inquisitive - Will steal your phone/keys etc from your pocket...
Intelligent - Knows how to untie lead ropes and open gates...
Friendly - Comes to see if you have any treats...
Affectionate - Mugs you for treats whether you have any or not...
Mother's Dream - Looking for novice parents with pony mad offspring...
 
Great opportunity for experienced rider to bring on young horse. No costs involved. -- especially for me, as I will be getting my horse trained for free.
 
'A plodder' - If one can get le cheval to move.
'Anyone's ride' - We've let literally anybody ride it.. whether they can ride or not.
'... Years Young' A little poo to ride still.
'Has clean limbs' - We don't know this for sure but hey ho.
'will school but prefers hacking and jumping' - I never school him.
'low mileage (even though i've owned them for 5+ Years) - Soo what have they done?
'Picture from 3 years ago' - ... Helpful! Are you really THAT lazy?
(Mare) 'Stud Reduction' - No longer good to pop babies.
(Stallion) 'Stud Reduction' - Unhand able now, jumps at any mare he sees.
'Sold from the field' - Don't expect anything special.
 
Rosette machine = we make the poor little *** do so many classes it would be a miracle if we came back with nothing, and as a last resort there's always the clear round jumping....
 
Been there ,done it sort - knows every trick in the book.
Potential games pony - goes like s**t off a shovel,even when you don't want it too.
Well known at Pony Club - nutter that no other rider dares get on.
Mother's dream - if the mother in question has had Stilton as a late night snack.
Cheeky character - bites and kicks,horrible to catch,lead and load.
 
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