Pregnant again! WWYD?

noblesteed

noblesteed

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Oh crikey I am pregnant again. Totally unplanned - I have an 8 month old son! I am excited and terrified...

Now I have the dilemma of what to do with my horse. I am struggling but getting by with him on DIY 5 mins up the road. I ride every weekend and when it's light enough can ride after work - 3 days a week. Husband looks after little guy those times. On my days off work I have to take baby to the yard at nap-time to get horse done. So the routine works ok - I can't compete but am enjoying my horse.
However, another pregnancy/baby will change all that. With my son I rode up to 4 months then part-loaned him out as I had problems in pregnancy which meant I wasn't able to get up the yard much. I am worried this pregnancy may be the same...

So what to do with horse? We just moved to the yard and it's lovely, don't want to move. Baby will be due in July so horse will be living out by then, so no mucking out to do. He is 13 so still has plenty of life left in him. He's a nice 15 hh safe n' steady type. I have had him nearly 5 years so am somewhat attached to him. I couldn't bear to part with him during my last pregnancy. Sadly he is laminitic, currently has pads on. So I wouldn't want to send him out on loan unless I could 100% guarantee his feed routine will be managed correctly - his laminitis only came on when my baby was born and I couldn't go up so had to leave him in the care of someone else... who thought they knew better than me.
Should I sell him? And will anyone buy a laminitic who also has melanomas under his tail? I could only sell him to a home for life. But what happens if I find out I can't manage with him and 2 babies? He won't look after himself...

Any advice would really help!!!!
 
I am not a mother, just seen on the outskirts.. and even I know that no 2 pregancies are the same, so you don't know you will have the same problems this time round. I wouldn't worry too much as baby no 2 arrives mid summer and your boy will be out by the time you really start to slow down. Why not think of a sharer after xmas and see how it goes? and if you can't cope, a nice steady cob type is always easy to find a home for. Just look how many people are always bemoaning the fact that such horses are like hens teeth.

and congrats no baby no 2 btw!
 
I kept my horse through the pregnancies of my 2 youngest who were 13 months apart so it can be done. I rode up to around 5 months and 6 months but just did steady hacks. It was bl**dy hard work but work it as when you do get chance to have 'me' time what better way than to spend it with your horse (sorry husbands and other halves!!!). What I would say is watch your spine after the birth. I had a disc bulge as I was doing too much too soon after a c section. I used to park my double buggy by the stable door whilst I mucked out, the babies seemed content enough. Hope it all works out for you.
 
Talk to you other half.
Will he be happy looking after 2 when you ride?
How will your money work out?

Its totally doable if you are organised.

I think you would benifit from a long term share to ease your commitment and costs.


Oh and congratulations!
 
Wow, every credit to you ... 2 children under 18 months :eek:

If hubby looks after baby now when you ride, then he should be happy/ok to look after 2.
Mine are considerably older and my husband looks after them in the evenings and weekend when I ride.
Selling my horse was never an option for either of us, he was (and always has been) happy to be with the kids whilst I do my horse. He appreciates that the horse is a really good way to have time away from the children. As a stay at home Mum, I was bursting to get out in the evenings :o.
The children for their part have always known we've had a horse and that I shoot off to do her, they are fine with it :)
 
Hello. I got pregnant again when my son was 8wks old, so he was 11months when my little girl was born. Bit of a lack of planning there!
I've kept my mare on DIY, with assistance when needed.
It really depends what your set up is with childcare I think. My husband works shifts so I had work the horse around that, my Mum also helps out.
It also depends what your children are like, some are quite content to sit in a pram and watch the world go by. My son would not sit, had to crawl/run everywhere, constantly needed watching. He would stick his arms in icy water troughs and then scream cos his hands got so cold, climb up the muck heap, disappear into store rooms. I constantly had to watch him which made it really hard to get things done.

Over last summer, I think I rode about twice as our nursery is term-time only (kids now 2&3), hubby was working tons of overtime, I'm working 2 days/wk.

I had to move yards cos I couldn't get the pram down the muddy track to the field.

To be honest the general care has become a chore. Its just more bloomin poo to clear up!! I don't really get time to enjoy even grooming/spending time with hoss as I'm always rushing everywhere. I give her a quick pat and chuck her in the field. I ride about once every couple of weeks. Luckily I have a great sharer who does 2 days.
Money is tight too, my husband never makes me feel bad about it but I feel guilty that the kids will miss out on holidays we could otherwise have.

I would say its a lot harder having 2 littlies, especially now they are at toddler age. They wind each other up, egg each other on, fight, run off in different directions, go exploring etc One of them is usually either whining, crying, falling over, hitting the other one.

Ha ha, don't I make it sound fun. They are fab but it generally takes about 3 times as long to do horsey chores when I take them with me.

Its really hard to give advice on whether to keep or sell your horse. Mine is 24 so it was never really an option for me to sell her and I couldn't have done it anyway. If you decide to keep him you'll find if you can grit your teeth through the hard bits the kids will soon be at nursery, pre-school and you'll get some time back to yourself.
 
Is there other mums on your yard? Where i used to ride they had a timetable for babysitting so one mum would stay on the yard the other two would hack out or school, it seemed to work well. One of them also had a sharer who instead of paying babysat so if she rode she owed a certain amount of babysitting time, which was great for both. Congratulations.

Other yard i rode at had a empty clean rubber matted stable next to the school so you could ride past and see children playing, but you do need an empty stable which sadly never seems to be available.
 
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Thank you everyone.
New pregnancy wasn't planned - I had PTSD and PND after the last one, only just got over that - my horse has been a HUGE help in that. The PND was partly due to his laminitis, I think. The people at the yard seem really nice and they are fine with me bringing baby down, they will do turnouts and bring-ins for me when baby is there.
My husband is fine with me keeping the horse. He is a great Dad, he works full time but picks baby up on his way home from work so I can spend time with horse. He looks after him for a couple of hours on weekends too, it works both ways as he likes his time to surf or run or go to the pub!
I am hoping my parents will be able to help a bit more now horse is nearer to them - about 3 mins from their house. It's just the initial worry about getting ill - it was my pelvis that couldn't cope with last one - I couldn't walk at one point - and my back hasn't been good since - riding seems to help a lot. Going to see the doctor next week to find out likelihood of having problems again.
We managed financially last time as my sharer was paying £10 a week - I saved it up and when I was on maternity pay it kept horse going. SHe isn't around any more - teenager with exams - I will have to look for someone else! But nobody will want to share a horse that has lami problems.
I did have him for sale as a bombproof hack when I had PND - nobody even came to look at him!
 
hi do you have a collage near you that you could loan him to, this will take some pressure off you and also help maintain his fitness and prevent the his lami? i no this is not for everyone
 
Having had friends who've had babies and horses, I can't see what the issue is (they certainly had no problems). Enjoy your horse and enjoy your children.
 
people will take on a horse to loan with laminitis you just need to stay responsible for the control of it. could you look at finding someone to loan who wants one or two days a week and tell them that there are more days avaliable when they want it? they might be keener to do more days as the weather becomes better and the days longer.
i would advertise near the local primary schools and pre-schools if he is a very safe hack you may find a mum who would like to get back into riding a couple of times a week.

congratulations and good luck
 
Congratulations, pregnancies always throw unexpected things at you - it's just they might be different each time! A supporting husband will make all the difference.
I would have thought a sharer for a lami prone horse would be easier than a sale, what difference does it make for the sharer (other than soaking the odd haynet or putting a muzzle on after riding) where as buying they are taking on all the responsibility for decision making.
What about getting one sharer now so you can get to know them and start saving their contributions, then IF you struggle for any reason you could look for a second sharer. I found 2 sharers easier to find than a loan home - lots of people have 2/3 days a week and £20 but not so many have 7 days! Then he's still at the yard you like and under the management routine you want for him, and when your little one is born and your ready to come back to riding he's there for you. If you can only manage 1 or 2 days that can easily be worked round 2 sharers - just a thought
 
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