Pregnant - Riding and what to do with my horse

[LandH]

So, I've just found out I'm about 7 1/2 weeks pregnant (planned but didn't think it would happen this quickly!) with my first and feeling very unsure about the whole riding thing. I've read through a few different posts on here and feel I need to put down my thoughts.
Warning: this may be a little long and rambling

I always thought that when I did get pregnant I would continue to ride as long as I felt comfortable. Had a suspicion I was pregnant so did a test and it was positive. Hubby not too happy I did a test as he said to just wait and see....I got impatient though lol
Anyway, he's really not happy with the idea of me riding so I agreed to stop riding. His argument is that I'm older than ideal age for a baby (I'm 35 this year - don't think it's too old?) and that my mum had a couple of miscarriages before having me. I do worry that if something happens I will blame myself as it may not have happened if I didn't ride.
BUT I was talking to my hacking buddy and ended up telling her. We ride as often as we can and I couldn't lie to her and make up a reason why I wasn't going to be riding. She has said why not try a few little hacks in walk, see how you feel? It shouldn't bother me as I was out for nearly two hours the day I found out I was pregnant, cantering up hills!!

Don't know where I'm going with this....tempted to do some riding and keep it secret from hubby but VERY worried what would happen if he found out.


This leads on to my next question. What do I do with my boy when I can't ride?
He's a 19 year old cob who is a VERY good doer. Luckily he's gone to living out 24/7 this year but I am worried about when the grass starts coming through. I'm not due until October but can't imagine me riding too far into my pregnancy as he does tend to get a bit of spring fever at times! I could get a sharer but he is arthritic and barefoot - some times he is fine, others he needs time to warm up and some times he forgets and wants to bomb around then hobbles the next day.

sorry for the ramblings! Any words of wisdom gratefully received

 

[Daytona]

I don't think you should lie to your husband, if he feels very strongly and your not to fussed then why not just stop. Of on the other hand you feel strongly that you want to then sit down and discuss it with your midwife and see if his mind can be put at rest.

I understand his fears though, it's only 7 months as you near 2 months in, it will pass quickly then after that you can ride everyday for the rest of your days -)

As for horse why not just give him the time off, it won't do him any harm that's for sure and will only take a couple of months to bring him back into work once baby's born. I'm sure he will be very happy to have a summer hooves up in the field. That's what I'd do anyway if I was in your situation. As for grass issue, could you muzzle him or fence him off a area so not too much access to long grass etc.

 

[AmyMay]

Congratulations!!!

Have you chatted to your doctor? They really are the best to advise you about how safe it is for you to ride or not. Plenty of people do, after all your not ill, simply pregnant. But given your mum's history I can fully understand your concern.

As for your lad - I'd look for a sharer.

 

[LandH]

I can understand how hubby feels but I really can't decide. Seeing the midwife in a couple of weeks so will ask her - in reality I would only get to ride 2 or 3 times before appointment anyway.
Dr was useless - she said ride if you feel comfortable but if something was to happy, how would you feel? Kinda sitting on the fence advice.

Sorry, feeling a little confused at the moment about what to do :-(

 

[atlantis]

I would say riding is fine, its falling off that's the problem. I stopped riding at 7 weeks when I had a threatened miscarriage and was basically on sofa rest. Once I stopped bleeding the owner of my share horse didn't want me to ride. Didn't want it on her conscience if I came off (he was good 99% of the time but had a big spook). Throughout my pregnancy I wanted to ride my old horse, as I knew him and trusted him. So if you're confident with your boy then maybe try a bit if walking.

I agree don't lie to your husband. The art of discussing what's best for your children starts now. If you really want to ride discuss it with him.

Could you try to find a sharer through word of mouth? Do you or your friend know anyone?

 

[Theocat]

Your husband isn't happy with it and you've already said / promised you won't. Unless you are prepared to discuss it with him I don't think you should even consider going back on that - sorry! 35 is old in medical terms and given the history and the horse's spring fever I personally wouldn't risk it. I know it's a personal decision but you've made it with your husband, so it's his business too. Just make sure he does extra babysitting after the birth to let you get back in the saddle!

I'd look for a sharer and not ask for a financial contribution in exchange for finding a rider who understands / accommodates the horse's needs.

Congratulations! I hope the pregnancy goes well.

 

[Daytona]

I can understand how hubby feels but I really can't decide. Seeing the midwife in a couple of weeks so will ask her - in reality I would only get to ride 2 or 3 times before appointment anyway.
Dr was useless - she said ride if you feel comfortable but if something was to happy, how would you feel? Kinda sitting on the fence advice.

Sorry, feeling a little confused at the moment about what to do :-(

You might not even want to ride, they say those early weeks you feel sick, exhausted and just quite crappy so you might just decide you can't peel yourself off the sofa anyway , so it may not be a issue

Because of family history , age etc I think the only one who can give you proper advice on if there is a risk to your baby would be a doctor/midwife etc or some kind of medical profession . I have heard those at risk
Of MC should take it easy for first 12 weeks but not idea if you fall into that category or not.

If in doubt and going to cause stress between me and my OH I'd not do it, but that's me. I like a easy stress free life

If you do ride and something did happen and you MC could you live with the consequences and how would that effect you and hubby - would he blame you..?? That's what I'd be thinking..? What is the worst that could potential happen and can I deal with it.

 

[julie111]

Firstly congratulations secondly there is no reason why you can't carry on riding when pregnant, taking up riding when pregnant is a different matter.
I rode right up to 8 months with one of my pregnancies!

 

[Polos Mum]

Please do talk to your hubby, having kids is hard enough and you'll need to be really supporting each other through the whole thing (even when they are naughty 3 year olds and you need to have a consistant approach to dealing with toddler tantrums!!)

Help him understand the risks and positives for everything you'll be doing over the next 8 months, driving a car is dangerous, eating some foods is dangerous, drinking wine is maybe ok maybe dangerous (they can't decide!!) equally sitting in a cotton wool filled room is pretty dangerous too (for your sanity and fittness)

Early on (pre 12 weeks) it is common to have miscarrages - they are mostly genetic issues that you couldn't do anything about no matter how hard you try.
There are so many decisions to be made over the coming months you need to spend a lot of time talking to your OH to decide what you want for all of the things for the next c.18 years !!

 

[Pilib]

I am a week away from my due date!
I wanted to keep riding, in fact I bought a new horse a few days after I found out! I felt quite ill for the first 16 weeks or so. I didn't do much riding and found looking after two really hard!
After 16 weeks I started to feel better but agreed with my OH that I would just hack, my new horse did a spook and run with me and it shook me up a bit so I haven't ridden him since. I rode my old horse a few times until I started to feel a bit heavy for him. I had one last lovely hack with a blast on the stubble and I have now retired him, he is 23.
My midwife said to keep riding as long as I felt able, babies are very well protected in there!!! I am convinced that mucking out two every day has helped me have an uncomplicated, healthy pregnancy!
Good luck with your pregnancy, please don't lie to your OH as you both need to make decisions regarding the baby. X

 

[stencilface]

Tbh, it depends on your midwife as to what they'll say, mine was aghast I was going skiing at 8 weeks (I'm experienced and took it easy) so I never troubled her with asking about riding as I knew what she would say!
I think your oh needs to calm down a little bit. If you mitigate the risks, only riding in good visibility, and riding sensible beasts, which yours sounds like he might be then I think you can lower the risk to a reasonable level. I think my oh knew if he tried to ban me from riding it would backfire later on and I would ban him from doing something he wanted. But then my horse spent 4 months of my pregnancy on box rest and rehab so whilst I didn't intentionally take him out of walk, long reining the hacking a box rested horse is pretty interesting! I stopped completely at 32 weeks as he wasn't on his best behaviour and it gave me the opportunity to take his shoes off and try barefoot.

That said, now I have mini sf in my arms ( quite literally, thank god for iPads and feeding pillows!) I can't imagine taking any more risks than absolutely necessary. It's a toughie

Pilib - obviously box resting and poo picking paddock rested horses is bad for pregnancy then as I ended up with preeclampsia and swelled up like a water balloon

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

I rode up to 32 weeks and 27 weeks with my two boys (aged 32 & 34) . I rebacked a youngster I'd started the previous autumn and took her to her first ridden show at 4 months. I guess it's what you feel comfortable with. I didn't go jumping nor galloping and just enjoyed pottering about. My hubby knew better than to try and stop me doing anything. My mum was worse but as I told her I was more likely to be involved in a motoring accident than falling off my pony who I hadn't fallen off for over a decade! Seek advice from midwife/doctor and listen to your other half's wishes too. After all it is also his baby you're carrying.

I also had a minor car accident with 2nd pregnancy and that shook me up more than anything. As someone has already said, it's not so much the riding but the falling off that is the concern.

Good luck and hope that your pregnancy proceeds smoothly.

 

[Pilib]

Pilib - obviously box resting and poo picking paddock rested horses is bad for pregnancy then as I ended up with preeclampsia and swelled up like a water balloon

My ankles are pretty enormous at the moment!!! But I am totally convinced sweeping the yard every day had given me a neat bump! X

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

I did also get someone to ride my pony, didn't charge them as they were doing me a favour keeping his waistline trim.

And if your labour is slow to progress, get hubby to drive down the bumpy track to the ponies and climb over a 5 bar gate. It helps! LOL

 

[cheeryplatypus]

I think if your husband isn't on board with the riding that sadly you shouldn't

My husband is supportive of me riding in pregnancy and I've had two miscarriages now which were absolutely nothing to do with my keeping riding, they were missed ones with developmental issues, he was supportive about everything.
However, I think if my husband had told me not to ride, and I had ridden against his wishes, I would have felt even worse about them. There's enough to worry about. It's his baby too, you should talk about this some more with him. There are good things about keeping riding and staying fit during pregnancy too but you need him on board 100%

Good luck with everything

 

[stencilface]

My ankles are pretty enormous at the moment!!! But I am totally convinced sweeping the yard every day had given me a neat bump! X

Thinking about it, I had a meat bump, just massive flipper feet

Fingers crossed you have mini pilib soon and that you have a good labour, of course we want pictures though

 

[Booboos]

Congratulations!

I think your Dr's advice was ambivalent because riding is a risk and it is for you to decide whether you take it or not. The riding bit is supposed to be fine, falling off can risk a miscarriage (or not if you are lucky and depending on how you fall). It's up to you to decide as a lot of things are risky in pregnancy like driving for example but we still do them.

I rode till 23 weeks with number 1 but stopped when I could no longer school effectively so the whole thing was pointless. I am 9 weeks on now and riding a lot less than last time because I am exhausted and a lot of my energy goes towards looking after a toddler!

Whatever you do, you need to discuss this openly with your husband. It's your body and I respect your choice to do what you want with it, but lying about it could cause serious problems in your relationship.

As for your horse he sounds like he's a good age for a quiet few months as long as he has restricted grazing/a muzzle?

 

[mystiandsunny]

It is entirely up to you. The only time I didn't feel sick for the first 14 weeks was on a horse, and I rode 'till 34 weeks - but riding keeps me sane! I would find a sharer though, perhaps just to ride with your friend when they hack out if you're worried? You'll really need the help once your baby is born!!

 

[_MizElz_]

I was in a very similar position to you, OP I'd always said I would ride right through my pregnancy but in the end, self preservation kicked in and I stopped riding at 16 weeks. My horse had the rest of the year off - she's 19, and having owned her since she was. 5 she'd never had a long period of time off! I took her shoes off, left her unclipped and let her mane grow long...she looked a right shaggy pony (actually a warmblood, lol!)
I'm 8 weeks post birth now and just bringing her back into work (had a section so couldn't ride sooner) and can honestly say she feels wonderful. She's the most supple and responsive she's ever been, so I think the time off has done her the world of good.
Good luck with your pregnancy

 

[_MizElz_]

I will also add that I carried on looking after Ellie until the day I went into hospital (at 41 weeks) - the only time I struggled and needed help mucking out was in the 2 weeks straight after the birth due to my op

 

[Serephin]

Its a personal choice really. I am 20 weeks pregnant and still riding my 20 year old cob. He is quite sensible, so I feel safe. My husband is totally fine with it, he knows my horse well and trusts my judgement, if I felt I no longer wanted to ride I wouldn't, likewise, if I end up riding up to birth he would respect my wishes.

Riding keeps me sane and happy and my husband knows how valuable a happy wife is!

 

[shadowboy]

I too have just found out. I'm only 6 weeks in but I'm contuing to ride. My husband doesn't mind as he says it is my body that the pregnancy will impact and I should decide how I use it. I spoke to my docto who said until about 20 -22 weeks the baby is protected by the pelvis and unless I fell and broke the pelvis I am likely to be fine and baby too. At the moment it is only the size if a poppy seed he told me anyway! So I have agrees with OH that I keep going as I am untill about 20-22 weeks. I was told a miscarriage from straightforward riding wouldn't happen unless the cervix was slack and then the foetus detached because of it.
I love riding it's how I stay 'alive' and I need it so I guess it depends how important it is to you- I have no other hobbies for example! Sad that I am! Once I can't ride I will pay an event rider to school him once a week and then lunge him in an equi- ami 2x a week to hopefully keep him reasonable! Good luck!

 

[Patterdale]

It doesn't matter what anyone here says. Here is your answer -

Anyway, he's really not happy with the idea of me riding so I agreed to stop riding. His argument is that I'm older than ideal age for a baby (I'm 35 this year - don't think it's too old?) and that my mum had a couple of miscarriages before having me.

If he's not on board, it's not fair to do it. It's one of those non-negotiables IMO.

Imagine if he was carrying YOUR child, and wanted to keep riding motocross bikes or extreme cycling or something? And you said you weren't comfortable with it and then found out he'd been doing it in secret anyway?

Get a sharer and enjoy the break.

I am 18 weeks now with my second. I rode for a living before having my first, and rode up to 4 months with him, then stopped as I didn't feel I could balance well enough.

This time around, I haven't ridden, despite having a lovely 5 year old who's never bucked or reared in his life.
After having the first, I know what's actually at stake now, and for me it's not worth the risk (hard as it is on nice days like this!)

Fwiw, my husband doesn't mind if I ride or not. But if he'd said no the first time round, that would have been it for me.
If anything happened, he would NEVER forgive you.

(Ps congratulations!! )

 

[fatpony]

Time passes quickly. WHen I was pregnant I couldnt contemplate not riding - I rode till 30 weeks then gave my pony 2 months off and was back on within a week. He had fun in the field and was perfectly happy. Looking back I realise it is only 9 months of your life, if your husband isnt keen then I would make a decision to stop - your carrying his child aswell as your own and although its not quite fair that mens life can continue while womans have to be curtailed during pregnancy that is just nature. Your horse might find a summer off gives him a new lease of life. Good long break for any little niggles to settle down. You can still handle on the ground and get involved with friends competing etc if that is your thing.

 

[Mariposa]

Firstly congratulations! I am sat here, 37 weeks pregnant now, and I can't wait to get back on my ponies! I played polo up until 12 weeks, and only gave up as I was feeling so rough ( had hideous morning, afternoon...all day long sickness....) and it was almost the end of the season for us. I then, of course, started feeling better in the second trimester, but by then the ponies were roughed off in the field ( happy ponies!)

I think riding in pregnancy is a very personal decision, personally I think if you're hacking and enjoying it, then keep going. It's good to stay active and as long as you are sensible then I really don't see the problem. There are so many 'what ifs' in life, so just be sensible and enjoy it. Good luck!!

 

[4faults]

I am 22 weeks pregnant and still riding 4 times a week roughly. I do however pick my days carefully, ie if I'm feeling rubbish or a bit sore I won't ride. I am only riding my 10yo though, I have a freshly backed 4yo who I cannot wait to get on but he's still young and unpredictable and it's just not worth the risk to me.

However I would never lie to my husband about it, 90% of the time he is there when I am riding and he has done an amazing job backing the 4yo and will take over some of the riding of my girl when I feel I am no longer able to.

 

[Palindrome]

Congrats!!!!!
Agree that your OH's opinion is important but that shouldn't mean he gets to choose for you. Your GP or MW can''t decide for you either as it is similar to cycling, driving... you have to consider the risks and benefits (health and mental!). I don't think 35 is old at all, the 25-35 range is ideal age, after 40 it's considered riskier.
My OH had concerns too and I chose to do quiet hacks until 12 weeks. I also had a little walk in the school a few months later bc I was feeling down and really needed it, but at that point I was quite big and it wouldn't have been fair on my mare to do more. It would be better to talk it through with your OH though as it's not fair to lie and you'll need each other support a lot. Also I find I had more pony time when I was pregnant and working full time than now I am on maternity leave as babies need their mom so much. It's a wonderful but tough time that has been a life changer for me and other young moms I know. Enjoy!!!!

 

[Magicmillbrook]

Congratulations. I rode through my pregnancies with my partners blessing and towards the end (42 weeks with all my 3) realy valued time out with my horses and forgetting about being a baby vessel. You need to discuss this with your partner and the midwife so he can reach an informed (and hopefully correct!) decision. It is his baby too and, as nature intended, he will be beginning to feel protective paternal instincts. Being pregnant can be a draining, emotional and turbulent time so you need to be a strong unit, to lie about riding would be wrong. If riding turns out to be a no no there is loads of in hand work you could do, walk poles, mazes/grids, long lining, lunging, or advertise in of your local FB horse group/tack shop/RC for a sharer.

Think of this dilemma as good practice, its the first in a very long line of big decisions, disagreements and compromises that is part and parcel of being a parent. Good luck with everything.

 

[Patterdale]

Congrats!!!!!
Agree that your OH's opinion is important but that shouldn't mean he gets to choose for you.

There's a lot of this on this thread and it sits really badly with me I'm afraid.
It's not 'your body your choice' IMO, as its not your body we're talking about - its a baby. And not 'your' baby either - yours AND your partners'.

Imagine if this were the other way round. What if men carried the babies, and yours totally disregarded your concerns for him doing a potentially dangerous sport whilst carrying your child?

If BOTH parties agree, then great. But if one doesn't, then you need to rethink IMO.

 

[Patterdale]

It is his baby too and, as nature intended, he will be beginning to feel protective paternal instincts. Being pregnant can be a draining, emotional and turbulent time so you need to be a strong unit, to lie about riding would be wrong. If riding turns out to be a no no there is loads of in hand work you could do, walk poles, mazes/grids, long lining, lunging, or advertise in of your local FB horse group/tack shop/RC for a sharer.

Think of this dilemma as good practice, its the first in a very long line of big decisions, disagreements and compromises that is part and parcel of being a parent. Good luck with everything.

Brilliant post.