Problem with Pony Stallion

Pedantic

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I'm 35stone, I've bought a 25 year old 2hh mini shetland with only 3 legs, which are all arthritic, I feed it Red Bull and smarties to give it some energy, it won't canter and headshakes, anyone got any tips....
 
Keep it in and only feed the smarties at 12 hour intervals. Also, have you checked whether he is a stallion yet? Maybe that's why he won't canter...
 
That's ridiculous. M&Ms!!!! Surely you mean Worthers Originals? No-one should be feeding peanuts to a pony of this quality .....

Not the peanut ones, the crispy ones, they're better! Monster comes in bigger cans than Red Bull, you should give him that instead.

Have you had his back and saddle checked? At only 2hh it might be hard to find something to suit him. I may have an old Barbie saddle that could fit, only thing is it's bright blue, would that suit his colour?
 
Def Stallion, jumps 2M fence to get to Mares, then 4th leg appears.....

So funny! I think you need to do some Parelli and enter it into the puissance with you riding if it can jump fences it's should be no problem however think you may need a double bridle make sure you feed it lots of the blue smarties it'll be so full of energy it'll ping over the wall. Your weight won't affect it at all 2hh Shetlands are capable of carrying at least 50 stone.
oh and if you add a shot of vodka to the red bull before each round it'll get extra courage!
 
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You need a grackle. And a Dutch gag. And a standing martingale. And draw reins. Make sure you wear spurs of course. And lunge it with all of the above plus a pessoa. ;)
 
Yes I had this problem too.

I can't help with the head shaking I'm afraid, but can help you to get the lazy boy to canter using Natural Horsemanship:

1. Turn pony out in large paddock,

2. Buy yourself some Arghan Boots (if you can't get any, Ugg Boots with some spare horse hair stuck on em will do),

3. Wait until pony is happily grazing at one end of the paddock,

4. Casually stroll to other end of paddock with pooh bucket and trowel,

5. Bend down with back facing pony and do pooh picking,

6. When you hear the thunder of tiny hooves cantering, nay galloping, across the field towards you, brace yourself.

Good luck!
 
Do you have a photo you can email me? For a small fee I will tell you why he won't canter and also where his fourth leg can be found. For a bigger fee I will tell you how he feels about that shxte christmas present you bought him. That is what is causing he head shaking...its disgust at the crap present.
 
Does your stallion have short legs and hairy heels? If so it is probably a highland pony and they can easily carry that weight. In fact if you have a friend of similar stature the pony could carry you both for a days hunting.

For a balanced diet I would introduce polos and possibly fruit pastilles ( 5 a day).

The head shaking can be cured by employing lots of people to keep the pony company, like vets, dentists, chiropractors, etc.
 
He's head shaking cause his iPod is stuck in his ear. Remove it and he should be fine. As for the cantering he needs to be fed orange jelly beans, full of tartrazine they'll have bouncing off the walls. The chocolate in the Smmarties will be making him sleepy.
 
I would give up on the smarties I find minstrels much better and perhaps some cod liver oil for the artritis? Minis are notorious for being stubborn so just keep working on the canter. I find carrying a lunging whip whilst riding my 29inch mini works a treat.
 
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