Problems loading at a show-why do people try to take over?

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peaceandquiet1

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Had a lovely day at our local show with my daughters, one riding, one showing in hand at pony's first outing.

All good-until hometime. Show still in full swing and youngster decides trailer a bad idea. Older pony already in and munching haynet.

What happened is a bit of a blur but someone I know just marched up and grabbed the pony and started telling me how to get her in, lots of people started coming up or watching or hanging about, idiot woman wraps lead rope round muzzle and through mouth and pony nearly goes right up and so close to getting away. Woman insults pony and walks away-thankfully. Two sensible people then come and help and she does walk in with pressure / release at front and a person either side at her hind end to keep her straight.

In the middle of it all another competitor comes up behind her roaring like a train and shaking a plastic bag!!! Had to tell her to go away!

I am fairly experienced and have loaded a few reluctant horses successfully and am shocked at how people just start to interfere without checking they are welcome. The pony is a sensitive type and I would rather coax her in calmly than frighten her in. Thankfully we did get her home safely but I am still feeling stressed out.
 
Well maybe so but it's the presumption of other people that you don't know what you are doing which I find irritating, I am just as experienced as anyone else and also the last thing this pony needed was constant distractions as more and more people tried to interfere, also how do you prevent some random poerson from running up behind your pony screaming when you had no idea they were going to do it?

Certainly, next time, I will be ready, should we encounter problems.
 
I had that with a woman when ours wouldn't load. No amount of me asking her not to would stop her coming behind the mare with a lunge whip & line. She would not have it that she hated anything behind her & would happily back up into it & boot it! She soon effed off when the mare just missed her leg. I did thank her for the offer of help but explained I know the mare & what works/doesn't. With a little pressure/release she was on within 5 mins of the woman buggering off :)
 
AengusOg said:
It happens all the time, but it's up to you to prevent it.
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It can be difficult, I usually offer to help if anyone nearby is struggling but am just as happy to leave them to it, one day I was loading a slightly difficult mare, she was halfway up the ramp when some interfering ****** came over and hit her with a lunge whip, she fell sideways off the ramp in shock, the language I used was not polite, she had not asked if I wanted help just took it upon herself to get involved, some people just cannot help it they have to interfere, you need to go to a quiet area and make a point about being left alone, if necessary have someone on duty to keep everyone away.
 
I sometimes ask if someone who is alone would like me to be hind but if there's more than one person I leave people to it .
I agree with the post who says it's up to you to take control of the situation .
 
I was just talking about this with a friend yesterday. Hers is funny to load, and she doesn't even start loading until the end of the show when 99% of the people have gone home.
 
I've had this, my daughter's Tb mare is a bad loader but we had devised a method which kind of worked and was safe/non-traumatic for all involved. I was quite a bit more novicey than I am now and so when people waded in I didn't have the confidence to say it was ok we had it under control.

One woman put on a Be-Nice headcollar and tried to pull her in (I think that is what she was doing) and my mare was just digging in her heels and not moving. In the end, she lost her rag and said the mare had "clearly not been trained to give in to pressure" and it made it much worse because now the mare was in a bad mood. Our method involved using 2 lunge lines round her butt and using her favourite treats as an incentive to encourage her to walk forward I (perhaps foolishly) thought that pressure from behind was likely to be more successful than a pulling contest. It did usually do the trick, even if it took a while.

Pretty much every time we took her out we'd have people trying to help us, I think people mean well and some were very good and I got some good tips from them, but some not so much.
 
It's hard to concentrate when people keep interfering, you need peace and quiet not crowds of people who all think they will be the one to get the pony in.
 
be positive I agree, if you are busy and in a difficult situation there really needs to be someone on guard to keep the know- alls away, just to add I was extremely grateful for the two great helpers who made it possible to load her quietly.
 
I would kindly tell them to leave as they do not know my horse or how it usually loads. If that didn't work I would resort to a '****** off and mind your own business'. I cannot tolerate busy bodies who are doing more harm than good! At least you had a couple of sensible and calm people on hand to help- these types are very rare and worth a big thank you and a hello at future shows!

Hope the showing went well and you, daughter and horse had lots of fun!
 
I think in the main people are trying to be helpful but I wouldn't help unless I was asked to by the owner. I've had a couple of difficult loaders in the past and frankly they weren't afraid, bad travellers or traumatised, they were just pushing the boundaries with a new owner. Training with a Richard Maxwell halter soon got them walking straight on. I'm now of the opinion that I wouldn't take anything to a show unless I was confident it would load straightaway and would be doing the groundwork at home first. yes, the unexpected does happen. We broke down and horse had to be transported home in a different lorry. The police had the road closed both ways on a busy bank holiday, with traffic stacking up in both directions and the bl....y thing refused to load. After a few minutes of being nice and sympathetic, he got a broom up his bum and he walked straight on. Not loading is in my book, unacceptable and is something every horse and pony should do without a second thought. I've lost count of the number of owners I've seen with horse standing at bottom of the ramp and an hour later they are still standing there!
 
My sympathies! I had the same with my mare a few years back. I had everything from chifneys, brooms on backside, pressure halters and even a hunting man thumping her in the ribs with his fist!
Funnily none of them worked and the 'helper' would suddenly mutter about their impending class and disappear, leaving you with a highly stressed horse and double the problem!
I soon learnt to say 'no thanks' firmly.........
Good luck, you will find a technique that works for you in the end.
 
Having had one who could be a git to load when he chose to be, I always offer, but I always say "do you want any help or are you better off on your own?" so people don't feel they have to say yes. It was a game to my boy and the more people who got involved, the more fun it was so I was better off standing in the trailer completely ignoring him until he chose to go in - normally 5 minutes but sometimes up to 20 - but if you tried to encourage him in you'd have a battle for about an hour!

I seriously regretted offering to help one day at the end of a riding club lesson (I'm the Chair so always feel obliged to help!) I was still there an hour and a half later in the pitch black with my hungry (it's only a 5 minute journey so didn't give him any hay) and fed up horse on my trailer letting me know in no uncertain terms that the delay was ruining his routine. I kept trying to find a way to go but the owner burst into tears every time I even thought about it so I was stuck!
 
Have done lots of practice at home but it's never the same as at a show with the atmosphere and just to add she loaded at home again after a few moments hesitation and then again twice more straight in so feel it was all to do with the circumstances. At least we know now we may have an issue and can make a plan.
 
This happens to me every time. My horse will back off from the box and before I know it, at least 4 or 5 people surround us with lunge lines, whips etc. Horse then gets even more stressed before someone asks if they can try leading him in.
The only time it didn't happen, he went in within 5 minutes. No stress or faff from others!
 
One of my friends used to be a baggage at the end. I ended up being very brusque with people, to be frank not caring if they went off in a huff. Thing I found was they picked the moment when you'd just about won, to troop over and stick oar in, queue pony finding another excuse not to go on. Seems to be a thing with some horse people, convinced they've 'cracked it' and got the unfailing method, even when they don't know reason why pony playing up. I never offer to help, but always give assistance if asked. I also make a point of not being an audience, last thing people need.

Be strong, stand up for yourself. You have to be more determined they wont interfere than they are to 'help'. Say no, mean no, don't show any qualms or they will try to intimidate and take over.
 
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Quote: Having had one who could be a git to load when he chose to be, I always offer, but I always say "do you want any help or are you better off on your own?" so people don't feel they have to say yes.

This is what I do, and offer lunge lines etc. but stay away until asked and definitely not stand and stare. We had a gelding who was a nervous loader and I hated the people who stood and stared whilst loudly tellling their friends what I was doing wrong
 
The first time I took my lovely PB Arab (other part was a donkey) to the Three Counties on a stand we had this problem.She had a crowd watching so she said she wasn't getting in that bloody bear cave on wheels with a load of predators standing round waiting to eat her...no respectable mule would :D.
I wasn't bothered as I knew she could load so I waited. Eventually people got bored and started to leave. I waited. One friend said she had to leave and I said that was OK...and waited. Eventually the other friend said she had to go and I said that would be OK "But what will you do if she won't go on?!" I said I'd put her back in her box and come back the next day...never known it take more than two days.
Full of apologies she went to her car and got in.......she hadn't gone more than 10yds and Sarah-lee walked straight into the trailer, I knew she would bless her
 
My old one was hit or miss. 70% of the time loaded like an angel, but sometimes he was a total mule! One time going to the jumping and he was being skittish and wouldn't load. We had a glaring contest and whilst it wasn't fast he took a few steps and was getting there and the guy driving the lorry decided he would do it........Horse just kept jumping off the side of the ramp and legging it.
I ended up getting him in after telling the horse that it was enough and he was being ridiculous....and he just walked up the ramp and went it. Total weirdo horse and yes I looked like a neep.
 
Love mules, used to be one who was always at Windsor endurance ride, was always successful.
 
Jinglejoys ours is a part bred Arab too :)

Feeling better knowing others understand and fully intend to stand up for myself if it happens again. Actually the whole show did see me telling the shouting one to go away and also having to remove the pony from the woman who had put the rope in her mouth; they also saw that when she was handled correctly she went in quietly and calmly without a lunge line whip or a shouting match in sight!
 
I think most of us have been in this situation at some time or another. Thankfully it's always been friends horses that have been a problem, mine both load pretty well generally.
There's nothing worse than a know-it-all butting in.
I always ask if someone needs help and never assume, and I appreciate when others are the same, but I admit it is difficult to remain polite in the heat of the moment when you just need an extra body or two to follow your instruction but instead of following your request and being useful, they do their best to take over and "loud mouth" their way into the command seat and make you look ungrateful to the gathering crowd when you try to say what you need from them. 😡
 
We actually had a sandwich board made with caution! stallions!* Perhaps you could consider "nervous horse in training" (/battle of wills, private) I know it's the people that are the problem but anything that makes them at least ask is better than barging in.

*I had a parent plop their child on top while I was brushing out feathers on the other side.
 
That's funny, I have thought of a sign to take along saying please leave us to it or something like that, trottingon you are so right as you just want any "help" to help your way, as you know your own horse best!
 
I feel your pain - like Jinglejoys, when faced with this kind of situation my tendency is to take horse off somewhere quiet, allow them to graze and let everybody else go home. Once things are quiet, loading can be done with minimum stress for all involved.

My suggestion ;) which doesn't involve lunge lines or whips :D is that if possible you do your loading practice both at home (with loads of rewards for doing the right thing - a whole apple to crunch while standing quietly in the body of the trailer as well as a good handful of pony nuts for brisk approaches to trailer and calm walking on ramps - then take the show on the road. If you can find places that are slightly familiar - spots on your regular hacking routes for example - ride horse out, meet trailer in non-yard but familiar location, load, reward lots, drive home... then ride out, meet trailer in strange but quiet place, load, rewards lots, drive home, repeat until horse is trotting eagerly up ramp wherever the trailer appears... *then* try again at a busy showground.

The issue with non-loading when out is basically that the horse will load at home when calm but still has reservations about it. When out, add a hefty dose of adrenalin and all their reservations appear with shiny brass knobs on ;) So if you can do a two pronged approach of removing the hesitancy at home and making the trailer a lovely place, while starting to do the same thing in places that aren't quite as adrenalin loaded as a showground, when you eventually get to the showground you have a better chance of things working :)

Humans are the same ;) Take contact lenses - while you might trust your partner to find the contact lens that's slipped when at home, there's no way on earth you're going to allow them to poke around in your eye while you're standing in the middle of a crowd in the middle of a street parade (have been part of that situation so know it's the same thing!).
 
This all makes sense as she is very inexperienced but loaded easily at home, at the show there was just too much going on and my kids were getting upset because they have never been present when a pony wouldn't load. We have 7 and the other six have no issues, anyone could box them. It was also our local show so we knew just about everybody.......thanks for all replies and support as I feel so much better!

Also-we got three firsts and a second, our little girl won her first in hand class and was second in the other, and the other pony won his two ridden classes.

Brightbay I agree, that's why I got fed up with all the interruptions as they break your concentration and yes they usually come just as she is about to step in......!
 
I will only help if asked to or if I know the person I may ask them and do exactly as they say.
I have only interfered once when a chap decided as he couldn't get his pony near the ramp to tie the lead rope round his waist and walk towards the trailer I had visions of him being killed so asked if he would let me try. He was very grateful when I took the lead rein and I supposed sensing she couldnt take the mick she followed me straight in the trailer
 
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My mare is very difficult and had to have a trip to RVC. On leaving, a student decided it would a good idea to poke her up the bum with broom. Before I could say that's not a good idea, he was standing holding a stump that was once the handle!! He quickly retreated !!
 
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