Psychiatrist needed !!

Donuts

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forgive me in advance if this is long and boring!

basically I have run out of ideas moving forwards.

my horse is 100pc safe or as safe as they get barring the odd spook however a few years ago I did have an accident on him. Not his fault but I have built it entirely out of proportion.

Anyway chatting to a medical specialist I was seeing about something, and he said there is nothing wrong with you regarding the condition he was seeing me for but you do have post traumatic stress disorder.

(I have not got my confidence back since the fall even though it was 2 years ago and have never once looked forward to riding. )

I then called my instructor as she has been trying very hard to get me over my fears and she said - you are perfectly capable of riding its your fear of open spaces and trust that are getting in your way.

Therefore we discussed that its not horses - its me! but I do not know what to do now!!

Has anyone else ever felt like this and what did you do?
 

Sukistokes2

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Really feel for you, confidence is hard won and easy to lose. Where you go from here is simply up to you. If you want to carry on riding maybe look in to doing a talking therapy like CBT and getting the PDT sorted. Or may be NLP. If you work on you maybe the riding will come back too.
 

SaddleUpSin

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Have you considered looking into ground based disciplines such as driving instead? Might find yourself looking forward to riding if you had a break from it? :)
 

FfionWinnie

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Are you riding and not enjoying it or are you worrying about riding and not riding and not enjoying that either?

I had a massive accident in April which has totally slashed my already quite wobbly confidence. What I have done is buy an air jacket which I always wear and I've also bought a new horse as my previous horse had various health issues which were also impinging on my enjoyment and progress.

The new horse is totally safe and is definitely helping but I do find if I'm not riding most days, I get more frightened again. I do not like open spaces either and this is compounded by not really having any to ride in, nearly all my hacking is foot paths and tracks. So I'm having to force myself onto fields and out of my comfort zone. At times I wonder why I am doing it but I want to ride and I want to jump so what else can I do.

So in a nut shell all I can say is feel the fear and do it anyway is the only way forward for me.

Oh yes, and I've signed up to do a BE80 this year. Anything else should be a piece of cake after that...

https://m.facebook.com/SJ2Eventer/

I've thought about a sports psychologist but haven't been able to find one I thought would help as yet.
 
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SaddleUpSin

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I can definitely relate to feeling better riding most days. I've never been the most confident rider and had my first fall Aug '14 and KO'd myself. Leave it more than a couple days and I get anxious again. It sucks! I want to daydream of jumping park benches (lol) and galloping on beaches, instead all I can think is "schooling is nice and comfortable".
 

Shay

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Confidence issues are common in riders. It isn't a safe sport! There are loads of professionals who can offer help - and no few books and magazine articles on the subject. PTSD is a specific mental health condition and you are going to need professional help if you want it. Perhaps start with your GP - but in the longer term a clinical psychologist specializing in rider confidence will probably be more useful to you.
 

Notimetoride

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I've been seeing a sports psychologist / NLP practitioner. It's good, but is an ongoing work in progress. PM me if you want details
 

Olly's crew

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Hi,
I am a therapist who works in the NHS. I am not sure where you live, but if you ask your GP about accessing the IAPT (improving access for psychological therapies) service for your area they can offer either CBT or in a lot of areas EMDR. Both of thee are talking therapies that are recommended for Post Trauma symptoms, and could help if you are interested in working on your anxiety.
 

Donuts

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Thanks all. Yes I do want to ride, in fact I take one look at my boy and imagine going for a school but then get on, tense up round his neck, wonder why he freaks and get off !
It's a vicious circle now that I can't break.
 

FfionWinnie

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Get someone else to ride him first? Pay them to come daily for a couple of weeks then you get on? Or go to a riding school and ride something that doesn't tense up for a while.
 

TotalMadgeness

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Oh god this is me! Or rather was me a few years ago. I've somehow managed to get from the stage where I felt physically ill and froze just having to mount a horse (any horse even the safest dope on a rope type) to where I can venture out with my 7 year old IDx (who I bought 3 years ago and couldn't ride for over a year because I was so scared) for an Intro class at a local yard (albeit I am sick with nerves beforehand and we always bomb spectacularly in the dressage lol!!). I'm still very nervous of open spaces even walking the horse about a small field freaks me out but I've recently managed to start hacking out with a friend on a busy country road and not cry (which I used to do). First time I hacked out on the this road I could literally only go about 10 metres before I had to turn back and now I can do about 4 or 5 miles so this is a big improvement. Anyway I'm not sure what my advice would be apart from taking it slowly at your pace (not others) with lots of baby steps and never feel bad if you can only manage to sit on a horse for five minutes before getting off. Diazepam also helped for the really bad times (seriously) as well as doing lots of groundwork with my new horse - lunging in school & long lining along roads. I also had a couple of lessons with my friend to make sure I could ride and these helped too (although the first time I went I got on a riding school horse, panicked, immediately got off and refused to ride it!!!). It is definitely a vicious circle and may takes years to break out of but its definitely worth it to keep chipping away at it. Good luck!!
 

onemorehorse

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Just to say that you are not alone. I am fine in the indoor school, but being outside terrifies me. The horse I ride can be a bit spooky, but nothing silly and she would not bolt off, so why so scared? I've not even had an accident (touch wood). I did do a horse related confidence course which included equine facilitated learning and was brilliant. I set a goal of cantering outdoors, and a month or two later I did it! I was so proud of myself. BUT, I haven't managed to continue it and rarely venture out now. We have a nice canter track and jumping paddock. I was going to take a week off work last summer and have some intensive outdoor lessons but then she was lame so haven't done it yet. That will be my aim for spring. Good luck x
p.s. Rescue Remedy Plus lozenges are fantastic!
 

Sugar_and_Spice

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Do yoga or similar to learn how to relax each muscle in your body separately, so after you mount you can work your way round your whole body eliminating any unnecessary tension. You might still be worried but if you can stop that translating into a physical reaction you're half way there. A friend had good success witl NLP to help with riding fears too.
 

fattylumpkin

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A very little very often really is the key to keeping confidence somewhat on track. Mine has plummeted in the past and I was shocked at how it paralyzed me completely, so that I was worked up even just thinking about riding. On top of that, I experienced what it was like to become the yard outcast and have people whispering about me, spreading outright lies, etc. As if I wasn't already scared enough. I got past it by forcing myself to do a tiny bit every day, and taking advantage of the days where I felt braver and more capable. But despite the progress it was never going to be enough for the people on the yard, including the YO, and we moved to a much nicer yard where my confidence came back in a giant leap. We spent two happy years there before moving again recently. I got a new job in a new city and ended up moving the horse to full livery, and planned to ride at the weekends, but I could tell straight away that it was starting to impact my confidence and Saturdays became a kind of warm-up in the saddle, and there were other issues that made me feel down. We've moved (yet again!) back to DIY and life is back on track :)

I really hope you find a new routine or process to help you through this. Aim for gradual progress, one tiny step at a time, every day. I wish you the best of luck!
 

Donuts

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I have tried NLP, but once in the saddle I lose it. I cannot trust my 100pc safe horse to let the rein go lose and stop pulling on his mouth. this makes him tense up, makes me panic, vicious circle.
Others have ridden him, proved he is safe what more can I say, I am still terrified!
 

Micropony

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Get yourself to a proper psychiatrist for a PTSD diagnosis. GPs and other non-specialist health professionals misdiagnose it all the time, and putting that label on something else can be the opposite of helpful. If that's what it is, you need trauma focused CBT or EMDR as another poster has said. If that's not what it is there are lots of other ways of approaching it, and others have given you lots of ideas here. But if you do have PTSD, no amount of confident rider workshops, taking it slowly, building confidence with an instructor or feeling the fear and doing it anyway are going to help until you've had proper treatment.

Most adults who ride will have had some sort of confidence crisis at one point or another, and most come out the other side, so you are in good company and it needn't mean the end of your time in the saddle if you don't want it to!

Wishing you well with it.
 

Donuts

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Thank you. I did go to the gp tonight but must admit, he was rather unresponsive to getting me help, told me to give up horses and take up golf!
 

rachk89

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Get another GP that one is useless.

It will take a long time unfortunately but you will get there. I was exactly the same 2 years ago but am now OK to take my horse on hacks again. We even acted as the nannies for a mare recently who had a slight loss in confidence going out and he helped her calm down.

I did hypnosis a lot (my dad is a hypnotist) and it helped a bit but I had created a block in my head that refused to be removed by anything. Only I could force that out and I did, it just took a while. You have to be really stubborn with yourself and visualise everything going well, no negative thoughts. So for your first step, visualise you getting the horse ready, getting onto the mounting block, getting on the horse, and getting back off again. Everything going smoothly no dramas no issues nothing. Keep doing that until that becomes easy have someone hold the horse and then gradually move away as you get better. Then progress to walking forward for a few steps and get off. Never let the negative thoughts in, if you think of one, think of a positive reason for why that won't happen i.e. your horse is a calm horse that wouldn't do anything as stupid as that.

You will get there it will just take time. But keep at it. You aren't alone in this we have all suffered loss of confidence.
 

Olly's crew

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Get yourself to a proper psychiatrist for a PTSD diagnosis. GPs and other non-specialist health professionals misdiagnose it all the time, and putting that label on something else can be the opposite of helpful. If that's what it is, you need trauma focused CBT or EMDR as another poster has said. If that's not what it is there are lots of other ways of approaching it, and others have given you lots of ideas here. But if you do have PTSD, no amount of confident rider workshops, taking it slowly, building confidence with an instructor or feeling the fear and doing it anyway are going to help until you've had proper treatment.
Most adults who ride will have had some sort of confidence crisis at one point or another, and most come out the other side, so you are in good company and it needn't mean the end of your time in the saddle if you don't want it to!

Wishing you well with it.

Micropony is absolutely correct here in that often GPs misdiagnose PTSD on the basis, it seems from my experience, of anxiety symptoms following an untoward incident. However you may be able to access an assessment and appropriate treatment offered via an IAPT team which means you do not necessarily need to see a psychiatrist. Of course services differ across the Country, but your GP could advise you of the best route for you.
 
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