PTS... advice please :(

Every time I think about it I just want to burst into tears, thankfully I am finishing work in about half hour as I have such a headache from trying to hold it in.

I am going to speak to YO tonight about it and decide what is best, but I do think I want to be there until she's gone otherwise I do think I will punish myself for not. My boyfriend said he will be there too so at least it will be both of us.

Just hard to get my head around that this will be the last weekend I will have her...
 
FestiveFuzz said:
Oh Star I really feel for you. Have you got a friend or family member that could do the admin side of things for you? When I finally made the decision I decided to book it for the next day (she was on 3 legs by this point so it wouldn't have been fair to prolong it even if I wanted to) so I didn't have too long to dwell on things. I tried 3 times to call the fallen stock guy and was sobbing by the first ring each time. In the end my best friend organised everything and was there on the day to ensure it all went smoothly. She even paid everyone so that I didn't have to think about it on the day. I really don't think I could have done it all without her and it was a huge weight off my mind to know it had all been dealt with.
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So sorry you're going through this OP, I have a wee lump in my throat for you, I lost two last year, both pts by injection, both went peacefully, Smartie paddled a bit but nothing too distressing. I stayed with mine until they were down and sat with them for a while afterwards, I personally find this helps me.

Agree entirely with the above, please, please make sure you have folk with you, including someone who may be able to hold on your behalf if you find when the time comes you're unable to. There is absolutely no shame if you aren't able to hold, what's right for one person won't always be right for the next. I personally couldn't phone the fallen stock people on either occasion, my YO did it for me the first time and I had to ask my vet the second, I simply couldn't do it, I passed on the money and my YO paid them on my behalf on both occasions. I was very glad to have such lovely supportive folk around me.

My OH came to the yard on both occasions and took me away before the uplift so I didn't have to see the wagons leave.
 
I prefer to have them shot it is quicker large horses need a catheter to give the amount of medication needed the one we had done long story but the vet had not got a gun needed three huge syringe fulls he then went down by going over backwards .
I find deciding you going to do it is the worse time IME after is easier she is lucky go in the ownership of her long term owner it's the last thing you do for them - give them an easy end .
 
My old boy is needle phobic. Although I don't particularly like thought of him being shot, the idea of him being stressed about the injection for me personally is worse.

We had an old loan pony of my son's PTS by the hunt. It was quick and efficient.

It is a horrid decision to make but the waiting about is almost torture. When they are gone it's actually a relief. Sending hugs. X
 
Please don't feel you should or must be there until the final moment - you have done your best by her, but being there at the end isn't a great idea. Seeing your beloved horse on the floor isn't an image that goes easily - I stayed with my much loved first pony (I was mid 20s) and the image was in my head for years after. I stupidly also watched his body being hauled into the waggon - what on earth was I thinking? It didn't help at all.

You want to remember your lovely mare for all the good times, and there is no shame in letting someone else step in and help at the last, so you can quietly walk away and not see it.

It is something I have always regretted watching. I have had many put down since and I say my goodbyes, thank the knackerman/vet, hand over the rope and walk gently away with my head held high, even with the tears falling. They wait until I have turned the corner - honestly it is much better that way, don't put yourself through unnecessary stress. x
 
I had my two oldie put down in March.
I chose to have them shot, my friends were fantastic and helped me. I got them ready, one at home and the other at my friends yard 500 m away.
I saw the truck come and heard the shot for the first one, thta was hard.
They came to my yard, she lady walked up, took the lead rope from me, my friend took my hand and we walked away, I heard the shot, but didn't look back. It was a all very quick. The bodies were taken away If anyone is in west Yorkshire I would definitely recommend her
It is the hardest thing to do. Xxx xxx

I would say, if you've already decided , sort it out soon.
 
You are a fantastic owner and you are definitely doing the right thing by your horse, if only every owner was as selfless....
You have done the hardest part - deciding and making arrangements isn't easy and it will be difficult between now and the day she goes but you will feel relief that she's out of pain when it's all done.

I have held many horses over the years (I'm everyone's "person to hold when the time comes") - I personally prefer them being shot, it's quick and they know nothing about it. However, I had two ponies put down by injection last autumn as one of them was very stranger phobic so I chose my vet friend to inject her over the knackerman I usually use. One pony was in his late 30's and surprisingly he staggered backwards for a while but then dropped without issue. The other much younger pony dropped like a stone....
I have seen a few take some rather deep breaths before going down with injection which is quite normal.

I personally have never had any of mine's ashes back - to me it's a waste of money. I take some mane or tail and put it in a photo.

As for staying with her until the end - there's no right or wrong thing to do, just do what you feel you can and don't feel guilty if that is to hand her over and walk away. I promise you that she already knows how much you love her....

I have a friend who is also a "horse holder" - neither of us usually do our own, we do each other's!
Having said that, I did hold my ponies as the stranger wary one needed me for reassurance and it wasn't as bad as I thought (well, I managed to hold it together until they'd both gone and then I made my vet friend cry too, oops!)
I then had to have my big horse put down in Feb - he was shot. I sedated him and stood with him as he dropped - he was in a lot of pain with his facial nerve and I felt relief that he was finally free...

I would never stay to see them taken away, it is very undignified, no owner needs to see it.

Please have a huge hug from me :)
 
All mine have been PTS by injection and there was never any issues apart from the last one who twitched for some time. That was disconcerting but he had gone it was just muscle spasms. He was already down on the ground which made it easier as for me the hardest part was the falling but you would have that whichever way. Thinking of you.
 
Thank you everyone for your kind words.
After having made arrangements I now need to think again, for unforeseen circumstances I am not able to have her pts at my yard (I won't go into details on a public forum, but all I will say is it's made the whole ordeal much harder to swallow) so it seems my only option is to go to the vets.. sonthing I really didn't want to have to do.
Has anybody taken a horse to the vets to be pts? Was it as bad as I am imagining?
 
0310Star said:
Thank you everyone for your kind words.
After having made arrangements I now need to think again, for unforeseen circumstances I am not able to have her pts at my yard (I won't go into details on a public forum, but all I will say is it's made the whole ordeal much harder to swallow) so it seems my only option is to go to the vets.. sonthing I really didn't want to have to do.
Has anybody taken a horse to the vets to be pts? Was it as bad as I am imagining?
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Don't worry, these things are sent to try us but it will be fine at the vets. A friend takes all hers (she is incredibly unlucky when it comes to horses... :( ) and they have all been OK with it.
If you decide you want to stay with her then do stipulate this when you speak to them as i presume they will need to arrange for her to be collected as soon as possible afterwards to avoid upsetting other clients (depending on the set up at the vets of course - our local vets don't have much outside space a apart from the lunging pen & car park).
I'd like to say lots of naughty words on your behalf re you having to do this as it's hard enough as it is, however it won't change things so instead I'll send another hug and reiterate what a kind owner you are ... x
 
Thank you for the reply, I guess it's just because I've had it in my mind, and it's made it easier to bare, to think that she would go where she knows and where she is happy but like you say it's just one of those things sent to try us.
I'm going to call the vet tomorrow and ask them how it works if they go to the practice. It's making me question the whole thing, but I know it's the right thing to do.
I guess it's just a car of worrying about having regrets..
 
0310Star said:
Now I have made the decision I am thinking I may do it sooner rather than later. I just want to get some nice photo's first so that I have something nice to remember her by and a bit of tail in the frame I am sure will be a nice option than return of ashes. I was going to bury the ashes at the farm she is kept as that is what some of the other liveries have done but I am not sure (as bad as it sounds) I can justify the money as we are also in the process of moving house (it all comes at once!).

Last night the but that got me was what to do with all her stuff, I've had her over 7 years and we've acquired a lot, and I don't have any other horses and will be taking a break for a while.
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Dont feel guilty about not getting the ashes back. We planted an apple tree in a favourite spot we used for in hand grazing and call it "her" tree. Your memories, photos and tail hair (you could always get a bracelet made) are tangible.
 
0310Star said:
Thank you for the reply, I guess it's just because I've had it in my mind, and it's made it easier to bare, to think that she would go where she knows and where she is happy but like you say it's just one of those things sent to try us.
I'm going to call the vet tomorrow and ask them how it works if they go to the practice. It's making me question the whole thing, but I know it's the right thing to do.
I guess it's just a car of worrying about having regrets..
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We all worry about having regrets, it's because we love them so much, but I always think that that knot of emotion that I'm sure you feel deep down is your gut instinct telling you that it's time, it's just your mind that questions it.

I hope your vets are sympathetic and can help you arrange things with the least amount of hassle possible...
 
The advice I give to anyone who asks me if as soon as its decided, then get it done. The waiting is awful. You will use it to worry and stress and change your mind a hundred times a day. I decided one evening and had it done at lunchtime the next day and that was bad enough :(
 
I think you're right Leo, I think I need to stick with my head on this one. I just need to work out where now! :(
 
0310Star said:
I think you're right Leo, I think I need to stick with my head on this one. I just need to work out where now! :(
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I'm sorry you are going through this but I think once the decision is made then you have to just be mentally strong and 'just do it asap'.

I'm sure it will be completely fine doing it at the vets. I've known people take their horses to the kennels all plaited up, the horse thinks it's going hunting when it hears the hounds. Not a bad final thought for them.

Otherwise is there a field adjacent to the yard under different ownership that you could ask farmer to use?
 
ihatework said:
I'm sorry you are going through this but I think once the decision is made then you have to just be mentally strong and 'just do it asap'.

I'm sure it will be completely fine doing it at the vets. I've known people take their horses to the kennels all plaited up, the horse thinks it's going hunting when it hears the hounds. Not a bad final thought for them.

Otherwise is there a field adjacent to the yard under different ownership that you could ask farmer to use?
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Thankfully we have managed to organise it to happen where she is, I feel very relieved about it all now. I am still jumping backwards and forwards but then like everyone has said the knowing for any amount of time makes it so much worse!
 
Glad to hear that you have one less stress to worry about. It is perfectly normal to feel awful about the decision and to keep changing your mind but I always knew in my heart that I was making the best decision for my horse - although not necessarily for me! Would you vet be able to arrange for the collection? Mine does and arranges it for about 30 minutes after the pts. She stays with my horse and I leave her with an envelope with the money to pay the collector as I prefer not to see the wagon arrive.
 
So sorry you're facing this. You're definitely doing the right thing. I'm a big believer in it being as much about preventing suffering as it is because of suffering.

I've seen two go - both with injection. The first was a friend's youngster who had mangled her leg. I held her for my friend. I was apprehensive but afterwards I was glad I'd seen it because it was very peaceful and it gave me confidence that I could do it for my boy when I needed to. His time came unexpectedly due to colic, although he was 27. He was already down in his stable so the vet just helped him on his way and he went with his head in my lap. There was no decision to make and although the shock at the time was terrible, that's been in a big comfort to me in the years since. Whether I'd have chosen to be there in different circumstances I don't know, but seeing my friend's youngster go down wasn't upsetting as it wasn't violent, she just sort of crumpled.

I know I'll be facing a decision with my current boy in the next few years as he has various issues. It's such a personal decision, there is no right and wrong as to how, or whether you're there. I'm 99% certain I'll go for injection again as (and this is what I mean about it being personal as it's a silly reason really, but important to me) he's grey and I can't bear the thought of there being blood on his lovely white face.

Will be thinking of you on the 16th.
 
I think I am going to bring it forward to the end of this week. I don't know if I can torture myself any longer than that! I know its the right decision so I don't want to drag it out as its so upsetting as it is and I think that's just going to make it worse for everyone involved.

I just need to remember that it will just be like she is falling asleep x
 
0310Star said:
I think I am going to bring it forward to the end of this week. I don't know if I can torture myself any longer than that! I know its the right decision so I don't want to drag it out as its so upsetting as it is and I think that's just going to make it worse for everyone involved.

I just need to remember that it will just be like she is falling asleep x
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Tomorrow would be good for both of you. If you are stuck for transport and anywhere near me, I can help. I am so appalled at the callousness of the owner/manager of your yard.
 
YCBM, thank you. I think it was just a situation that needlessly escalated but as I say I wont go in to detail on here and its all sorted now.
I will make arrangements this afternoon, I know what I am like and I ponder over things anyway let alone something like this. Dragging it out will only make matters worse.
 
I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words last week. My mare was pts on Friday and went quickly and peacefully.
You all helped make a horrible decision a little easier knowing I was making it for the right reasons, so thank you :)
 
0310Star said:
I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words last week. My mare was pts on Friday and went quickly and peacefully.
You all helped make a horrible decision a little easier knowing I was making it for the right reasons, so thank you :)
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Be proud that you were able to do the right thing. I'm pleased it went as well as it could do and you haven't got to worry about it anymore.
 
0310Star said:
I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words last week. My mare was pts on Friday and went quickly and peacefully.
You all helped make a horrible decision a little easier knowing I was making it for the right reasons, so thank you :)
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Big hugs to you. Take comfort in the times you shared and that when the time came you did the best for her xxx
 
Thanks everyone. I feel much better this week, last week was probably one of the worst of my life!
We had a photo shoot Thursday evening which was kindly organised and paid for by a friend of mine as a surprise so I have the photos from that to look forward to.

Its just very odd not having a horse, I feel like I have so much time on my hands now!
 
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