pts anxiety.

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notsobad

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i know this has been done to death and i think my mind is made up. Its my descision and im not after other people to take it off my shoulders.
my lad is 27/28 and to look at him you would think early 20s.
I have had him 9 years, and was ripped off buying him..I expected to be able to do a few fun rides and lots of hacking not knowing he was at least 18 then..but we did have fun and i have loved owning him..we only could walk or trot round the fields and local roads but we just made the most of it and i think he has had a good life with me. Last year i was asked to break a youngster in and my husband bought her for me the very day i got on her for the first time.
Back to my old boy. He has copd and lives out 24/7 he thrives in all but the very coldest weather when he is miserable and shuffly. Any other time he is in charge of anything trouble related.
This summer he has done well but he is definately an old horse now, and a wee bit stiff as would be expected.
I want to be totally honest about this . If i had my own place or money was no object i would keep him going with drugs or whatever it takes. However keeping him going would impact on the younger horses care in that there would not be money in the pot if anything goes wrong.
I have spoke to our vet who was very kind and patient as i blubbed out my horses life history on the phone to him, i was truthfull about the circumstances and he agreed with my planned course of action to pts later on in the summer/autumn. . He told me that in effect waiting for something to go drastically wrong to make me feel better about the deed was not allways in the best interests of the horse.
I love my boy to bits, being his grim reeper is hellish to say the least, when i look at him on the floor, knowing i caused that ..........will i ever forgive myself.
 
Even though there are lots of posts on the subject, none of them will be the same as yours. So its absolutely fine to post to a group of people who know what you are going through and can offer moral support / virtual shoulder to cry on.

I think most of us will decide the last day of our horse's life - very, very few lie down quietly one night and die peacefully. Some of us have to make the call in the middle of a crisis and others have to plan it. I'm not sure which is more painful to be honest. Both are ****** awful.

Your horse won't know its his last day. All he'll know is that he's had a big bucket of feed, all his favourite treats and lots of hugs. Your vet is right that keeping them going is often more for our sake than the horses. A friend told me once that horses don't fear death but they do fear pain and its our responsibility to manage that. I'm not sure that I can say I've done a good job in that respects personally because it is such a huge dilemma, but if I thought my older boy would struggle with another winter then I hope I'd get my act together too xxx
 
I think a lot of us are in this situation. I have three in gods waiting room, one is only ten but his breathing is so bad this year, even out 24/7 , his lungs are just so fibrosed that he will never stand another winter.
I am just trying to let them have the best summer possible, that's all you can do.
 
I too have been in this situation. Once the deed was done and I had given myself time to adjust the relief was immense. Knowing that I could then afford to deal with any problems which may arise with horse number 2 I was no longer worrying over little things and what ifs.
 
Well done, what a brave decision to make.

Try not to dwell on thinking 'I caused this'. A more positive way to look at it is - you have put his needs before your own feelings, ensured his dignity until the very end and let him go safely and peacefully surrounded by love and the people who cared for him best. That's what I read when I opened your post. Guilt is a very normal part of the process, I can't say when, but it will get easier. One the coldest of days next winter you'll know you did the right thing.

Until I went through the planning of pts last year, it was unimaginable the pain, guilt and horror I would feel and I admire each and every one of us that does it. However, there is some comfort in being able to plan their last few days, give them all their favourite things and having watched two friend lose their horses in very sudden circumstances I am now quite thankful of having had the time I did.

Thinking of you OP.
 
I made the descion to have my boy pts very quickly although had been thinking about it for about a month. He was going blind and came in with sore eyes one evening. I just knew it was time. He was only ten. The days before were the worst, once it was done I got such a feeling of relief. The vet and the people who came to collect him were fantastic. It's a horrible thing to have to do but knowing you have done the best thing makes it a little bit easier to bear.
 
I think the decision is harder when it's a long slow decline and there isn't a definite "thing" that you can say with certainty now is the right time.

I'm kind of reaching this stage with my old boy. He's 27 has cushings, mild COPD and truly awful sweet itch. To see him in the field he's still as bright as ever and bounces over whinnying whenever he sees me.

On the one hand I KNOW his quality of life is starting to be compromised but on the other he seems to still be happy in himself.

And yes I have to admit at the back of my mind is also the consideration of how much better financially I'll be when he does go.

I keep hoping I'll get a definite sign but I realise that's not going to happen and it's up to me to make that call based on knowing him so well. I've never had to face this before with a horse (have done it with a dog) and it does occupy a lot of my waking thoughts.

No practical advise OP but wanted to express my empathy with your situation xx
 
Having recently been in this position, I feel for you OP. One thing I will say is honestly don't beat yourself up about it. There will always be people who agree and people who disagree - some didn't agree with my decision as my horse looked so well but I made my decision based on 'a day too early rather than a day too late' and there was a huge sense of relief once it was done and she was gone.
I miss her dearly, but she had lots of problems in her legs and was finding the summer difficult with gaining weight and the hard ground but I couldn't bare to keep her in a stable half the time when she hated it - she was a retired horse enjoying being a horse again as far as I was concerned! I knew she was starting to struggle as it had happened last year and I put her on bute last summer, I made the decision then that if she started to struggle on 1 bute a day then enough is enough and I stuck by that and I have absolutely no regrets.

If you feel it is the best decision then give him the summer (or however long you want) and have the deed done while he is happy in the field and none the wiser, and remember he will have no idea what is going on!
The only advice I can give is I made the decision on the Monday and the deed was done on the Friday and it was the worst 5 days of my life as the anticipation drove me insane, I know everyone is different but this is my personal experience.

Good luck OP x
 
So, you aren't in a position to afford two horses. You have one which can't do what you want it to and one which can. You have the option to sell the younger one and share/loan/work with other horses until your older chap reaches a point where his quality of life is no longer good, PTS then and then buy another. Or you have the option to kill the older one and continue to afford the younger one (thanks hubby for putting you in this position!).

Lots of people would have taken this step years ago. I would never take it.

You just have to decide if it is one you are comfortable with. At the end of the day you are probably eating meat most days. So, you are perfectly OK morally with causing the death of an animal for your own pleasure or recreation. So, as this is consistent with that, you should be fine with yourself?

Personally I prefer things PTS at home where possible so if you can get the vet to come to you and do it somewhere your OAP is happy that may make the event less bad for him. But really it is the majority of the life that matters most not the last few moments.
 
GirlFriday said:
Or you have the option to kill the older one and continue to afford the younger one (thanks hubby for putting you in this position!).

Lots of people would have taken this step years ago. I would never take it.

You just have to decide if it is one you are comfortable with. At the end of the day you are probably eating meat most days. So, you are perfectly OK morally with causing the death of an animal for your own pleasure or recreation. So, as this is consistent with that, you should be fine with yourself?
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I'm not sure if this post will be very helpful, GF. I don't think it has anything to do with 'fault' of people putting her in this position. It's a very different thing emotionally, eating meat and loving an animal you have devoted your life to. But I respect that those are your opinions.

Either way, OP, I hope you can find peace with whatever choice you make. It's never easy. Recently an elderly livery horse was pts. His owners knew it was his time, and decided to let him go before he began to struggle any more. You have the forum here as support; never feel bad about making a post asking for help.

Best wishes and love, H and Chilli x
 
I made this decision back in April, and had my boy PTS on the 15th May. I'd been torturing myself since last summer; it was all I could think about. I hated being at the yard and so I avoided spending time with him (full livery, luckily) because I felt so guilty for considering it, but I felt that either decision was wrong. In January, he had acute laminitis and we almost lost him that night, but he bounced back very well. At easter, he had acute and severe colic; the vet warned me he might not survive. He was in so much pain and the words to put him down were in my mouth but never came out. Luckily, he did pull through but I decided not to risk another "episode" and he had a good last month being spoilt rotten.

I can honestly say that making the decision was the hardest part. I thought I wouldn't be able to make the call, but I did. I also made payment in advance so I didn't have to worry about anything. They wouldn't let me stand with him (knackerman with humane killer) so I walked away. I only heard one shot and that's enough for me to know it went as well as could be expected. There was definitely shock and I felt without a purpose for a couple of weeks, but I can honestly say that I have no doubt, no regret and no guilt. In fact I barely grieved at all because I think I'd done it all beforehand.

Everybody goes through it differently of course, but I found the people on this forum to be wonderfully supportive. If you want to chat, you're free to message me at any time.
 
GirlFriday said:
So, you aren't in a position to afford two horses. You have one which can't do what you want it to and one which can. You have the option to sell the younger one and share/loan/work with other horses until your older chap reaches a point where his quality of life is no longer good, PTS then and then buy another. Or you have the option to kill the older one and continue to afford the younger one (thanks hubby for putting you in this position!).

Lots of people would have taken this step years ago. I would never take it.

You just have to decide if it is one you are comfortable with. At the end of the day you are probably eating meat most days. So, you are perfectly OK morally with causing the death of an animal for your own pleasure or recreation. So, as this is consistent with that, you should be fine with yourself?

Personally I prefer things PTS at home where possible so if you can get the vet to come to you and do it somewhere your OAP is happy that may make the event less bad for him. But really it is the majority of the life that matters most not the last few moments.
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You are one spiteful cow. Maybe it's just better to keep him going, even though he struggles in the absolute cold, personally, I think it's better to let him go before he feels that. He's lived a long life, has obviously been a loved horse.

I am quite sure the event won't be bad for the horse in any way shape or form. He's not going to be in his field quaking with fear about what is coming.

I have a horse that has been retired for the last 3 years. If for any reason I can't afford to keep him in the future, I wouldn't hesitate to have him PTS.

Good luck OP. I wouldn't feel guilty doing what you are considering.
 
GirlFriday said:
So, you aren't in a position to afford two horses. You have one which can't do what you want it to and one which can. You have the option to sell the younger one and share/loan/work with other horses until your older chap reaches a point where his quality of life is no longer good, PTS then and then buy another. Or you have the option to kill the older one and continue to afford the younger one (thanks hubby for putting you in this position!).

Lots of people would have taken this step years ago. I would never take it.

You just have to decide if it is one you are comfortable with. At the end of the day you are probably eating meat most days. So, you are perfectly OK morally with causing the death of an animal for your own pleasure or recreation. So, as this is consistent with that, you should be fine with yourself?

Personally I prefer things PTS at home where possible so if you can get the vet to come to you and do it somewhere your OAP is happy that may make the event less bad for him. But really it is the majority of the life that matters most not the last few moments.
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dont know if you mean to but your post is very insensitive and judgemental when someone is obviously struggling with the decision. she has given this horse a good quality of life and is trying to do the best for him while also being practical...the horse is in his late 20's so why wait for something to go really wrong and he is in loads of pain? please think before you post!!!!
 
GF - What a spiteful, mean spirited post - you obviously have strong views that do not belong in this thread.

OP I wish you were not having to make this decision but as is frequently said, better a day early than a day too late. You know your horse and the decision that you need to make. We may have to make this decision in the next year or so, we do not know for certain, but I hope that we do what is best for the horse.
 
GirlFriday said:
So, you aren't in a position to afford two horses. You have one which can't do what you want it to and one which can. You have the option to sell the younger one and share/loan/work with other horses until your older chap reaches a point where his quality of life is no longer good, PTS then and then buy another. Or you have the option to kill the older one and continue to afford the younger one (thanks hubby for putting you in this position!).

Lots of people would have taken this step years ago. I would never take it.

You just have to decide if it is one you are comfortable with. At the end of the day you are probably eating meat most days. So, you are perfectly OK morally with causing the death of an animal for your own pleasure or recreation. So, as this is consistent with that, you should be fine with yourself?

Personally I prefer things PTS at home where possible so if you can get the vet to come to you and do it somewhere your OAP is happy that may make the event less bad for him. But really it is the majority of the life that matters most not the last few moments.
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thankyou for your input gf.
 
Hi really understand how u feel op. I had my girl put down a few days ok. She had had multiple problem unresolved even with many £1000's spent. After sitting in a field for 3 yrs she suddenly became unpredictable, was lonely and frustrated. Retired life was not for her and although she loved a visit in terms of a treat she did not enjoy interaction. I had the local knackerman come and was not there as I didn't want to b there. In a way a tiny part of me wishes I had been but I didn't want my last memory to b the end. I loved her dearly but she was a complicated character. At the moment I just feel numb and very nervous but I know I did the right thing. She was only 10. Do not let anyone make I feel bad! I have another horse that I enjoy riding and my other girl was costing a couple of grand a yr to keep, I am not really well paid and am not ashamed to say this was a factor. I would rather know where my girl ended up! The main thing is she was not totally happy was unsound sometimes - only mildly. Let's face it she could have lived another 20 urs and not all of us are lucky enough to have acres of land! Just trust ur instinct as no one knows ur horse better than you!
 
To a certain extent I do agree with GF though, this doesn't sound like a horse that is struggling or suffering particularly, not requiring regular medication(?) and is still able to be boss horse in a herd. - The OP describes him as struggling in the very coldest weather but does not say if he gets any help/bute at these times which might mean he doesn't then struggle

It is absolutely fine to PTS an unsaleable horse for any reason, be that time, money, you don't want them to feel what getting old is, better a day to soon etc etc and I wouldn't judge anyone for doing so. But the OP did not describe the horse I thought it was going to when I opened the thread and it is the OP who has to be happy with their reasoning because it is their decision. If the OP were someone particularly sensitive about it then maybe although logic would point towards it, then it is worth considering that it isn't the best thing for them to do right now (and posting on here suggests it's not currently solid in their mind).

A lot of the replies on here are describing horses with many more issues than the one described in the OP so I am not sure how helpful that is either.
 
GirlFriday said:
So, you aren't in a position to afford two horses. You have one which can't do what you want it to and one which can. You have the option to sell the younger one and share/loan/work with other horses until your older chap reaches a point where his quality of life is no longer good, PTS then and then buy another. Or you have the option to kill the older one and continue to afford the younger one (thanks hubby for putting you in this position!).

Lots of people would have taken this step years ago. I would never take it.

You just have to decide if it is one you are comfortable with. At the end of the day you are probably eating meat most days. So, you are perfectly OK morally with causing the death of an animal for your own pleasure or recreation. So, as this is consistent with that, you should be fine with yourself?

Personally I prefer things PTS at home where possible so if you can get the vet to come to you and do it somewhere your OAP is happy that may make the event less bad for him. But really it is the majority of the life that matters most not the last few moments.
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Tactless, heartless & completely shameful post. Have a word with yourself.


OP you have my sympathy, & I wish you all the best with your decision, whichever one you choose.
 
i have thought a lot about the best way to reply to this thread.
im not really insecure enough to let gf s comments upset me, far from it ..at one time I would have felt the same.
My old horse is field sound on no medication at the moment, however he will need bute to get through the winter, How much i cant say until the winter is here and we see how much he has deteriorated since last year.
The young horse i have known since she was an hour old, Im extremely attatched to both of them. Circumstances have changed since last year and im too stretched to keep two now. Pts the old boy is the only way i can gaurantee that neither of them falls into the wrong hands,
Some people will get this and some people wont.
I really just wanted to know how other people coped with this and i have had some really good input here, and no problem with the folk who would take a different course of action.
 
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