PTS - bye tiny pone

S

Switchthehorse

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So often on here people are asking if they should PTS, and if they should what method to use etc. I have had horses all my life but been very fortunate as not had to say goodbye in that way to any of them, until last week.

I had a lovely filly rising 3yo. I had owned her since weaning and she was hilarious. She made me laugh every day, was cheeky but not a nasty bone in her body, she was stunning looking, brave and adventurous and i was really optimistic that one day she would make a fab eventer. But things started to go wrong when she was about 1, she had a strange contracted tendon behind, then a couple of possible wobbler episodes, and then one hind hoof started growing strangely. She was on box rest for a fair while and i got to know her really well. She wasn't in pain and was happy and jolly and trantered round the field when back out so it was a really hard situation, should i PTS or not. I knew i would probably never ride her and ended up putting her on part livery due to work, so costing a fortune, but when not obviously in pain and when still so chirpy it was an impossible decision to make. I dreaded the distress it would cause and how upset i would be, i think i was quite frightened about the whole procedure, really worried, and worried how i would cope, being in my late 30's with no kids etc her and my other horse are my everything really... sounds tragic but true i am afraid

Then last wednesday she came in from the field hopping. vet came out and said simply 'she has made the decision for you' .. i kind of knew it as soon as I saw her. We actually will never know what happened but it was clear she had had enough. The rest is a bit of a blur. Thanks to some amazing friends many decisions were taken out of my hands and I was able to spend a last five minutes with her stuffing her full of apples and extra strong mints. We took her to a paddock, the weather was glorious, she had a few mouthfuls of grass and then was sedated and then i walked about 20 feet away, waited for about 2 mins and then when i turned back she was down and peaceful and like she was fast asleep. Kissed her good bye stroked her cheek a couple of times and walked away.

Yes i was in hysterics and have cried a lot since, and yes i miss her every day, but the biggest thing that i wanted to say to everyone in this sort of situation is a) they do tell you when they have had enough, listen to your horses.. and b) don't worry about it being traumatic, was incredibly peaceful. I am lucky to have an amazing vet who made it very easy, but i was almost relieved how easy it all easy (aside from the grief of course).

I miss her every day, but I know i made the right decision and i know now she is at peace. So don't worry about it when the time comes.. you will know and you will all be ok.
 
Oh bless you. She was a very lucky girl to have such a lovely owner. It is so heart breaking when we lose them. But you did the right thing at exactly the right time and she never suffered.
 
**hugs** ... You are right, for the most part they do tell you when they`ve had enough. There are no words, just know so many of us have been where you are now .. and understand. Thank you for sharing her story with us x
 
Didn't want to read and run, but that is a very nice story,

I'm glad that you managed to make the decision with her help and my thoughts are with you xx
 
Oh Hugs. You poor thing. You absolutely did right for her from the moment you got her home to the moment you secured her eternal pain free peace. Well done and more hugs xxx
 
Completely at the other end of the scale as my boy was 29 but just like you for a while I'd been worrying if I'd know when the time was right. One day he just came in hopping lame on his one good leg (he'd broken a rib previously and so whilst not needing any pain relief walked wonky) and as soon as I saw him I knew he needed the vet. He stood happily munching hay whilst we waited for the vet and when she came she just looked him over and said "it's time". She's been his vet for 17years so she knew him as well as I did.
Everything happened very peacefully and quickly after that and we walked him and his mare (my other horse) to a quiet corner of the straw barn and he stuffed his face full of apples and polos.
He went down very quickly and quietly and was gone immediately. Both me and my vet said our goodbyes crying but we were both able to smile at the fact that he managed to go with his ears pricked forward!
I lost him last November and reading your story and writing this now I'm crying again but it honestly isn't the huge aching hole that was their originally. It is clichéd but it does get easier and only yesterday I was regaling tales of our XC adventures and making people laugh with memories of him and most days are like that now.
I'm so sorry for how you're feeling because I know exactly how awful that is (as do many people of course) and do take care of yourself. I'd assumed that because my boy was old it would be easier in a way but I have honestly never felt grief like it. x
 
Reading both these stories have made me cry as I remember my two boys, who both told me please stop this now. What lucky horses to have had you both share their lives. They do tell you when enough is enough, and they just want to rest. I am so sorry you had to lose a horse so young Switchthehorse, but she helped you make the right decision, though I know how much it hurts, and sometimes the grief overwhelms you. Baileybones I know how you felt too, as my Bob was 29, no matter how old they are it hurts like hell. I still miss them both enormously, but time has helped heal, as well as having a new young lady in my life, she helped me so much. I still shed a tear now again, as I'm sure you will too, as most of us do I think, but it was the right thing to do at the right time, as it was with your beautiful horses. May they both gallop free, along with all the others that have gone before. Big hugs to both of you xx
 
What a lovely thing to do, letting other owners know there is nothing to fear from PTS at a time when you are still so raw. I'm so sorry you've lost your little one but glad it all went peacefully.

I'm lucky in that my boy took the decision out of my hands. He looked after me his whole life, even at the end he took control. He was 27, semi-retired due to arthritis in his knees but still sound for short walk /trot hacks (unless he took it upon himself to pee off home!) on no bute and otherwise fit as a fiddle when colic meant he had to be PTS - again very peacefully. He was already down in his stable so went with his head in my lap. I was also lucky (if that's the right word) that I had seen it once before, holding a friend's youngster who had severed a tendon for her to be PTS so I wasn't afraid of it. I know it's a strange thing to say but I'd recommend anybody sees it with another horse before having to do it for your own so you know what to expect. It certainly made the whole thing easier for me.
 
Read this with tears in my eyes - what a lovely thing to give to others; you experience and reassurance.

Thank you - and I am so very sorry for your loss.

P
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, it's absolutely heartbreaking to have to put a beloved horse down you did the best you could for her though at least you got to spend some time feeding her and being with her before hand, I'm sure she would have enjoyed that.

RIP Little pony
 
I'm a great believer in Fate and things working out how they should. My mare was definitely sent to me because she needed an idiot to care for her, and my cat was in desperate need of help - both would have otherwise have died. I lost both within a nine month period (both times I asked the vet to PTS before things got worse, ironically the vet who eased my cat on her way had met my horse when he was a student doing clinical experience and no, it wasn't the same practice) and while I was happy to say I wasn't going to have another horse, I did want to have a new cat. Well last week I was scanning the websites of all the local sanctuaries and there was a sad-eyed little black cat with my horse's name. My mare was very kind and caring to any species and I know she has sent this little black beetle to me with her love. I have changed her name very slightly but I find myself saying things to her that I used to say to my mare (but not to my previous cat) and you would think that she had lived with me forever. She also shares a few characteristics with her chestnut namesake.
 
So sorry for your loss. It does get better and you are so right in everything you have said. I have had to say goodbye only twice and both times I just knew. Hugs to you and RIP pone xxx
 
I can totally empathise as lost my rising 5 year old two weeks ago today to strangulated gut. I loved him desperately and sometimes even the thought of deciding the method I would PTS if I had to, would make me cry! In the end the decision was taken as he was pts on the operating table when he prognosis was very poor. I still had a lot of guilt at not giving him a chance, but realistically he made the decision for me. I've spent two weeks swinging from sobbing my heart out when I look at his empty stable or hear a sad song, to laughing at funny anectodes about his cheeky character.

I was a wreck this time last week, reliving it. This week I feel a little brighter and it's not dominating every waking thought I have. She sounds like she had a wonderful life and was loved, more than many equines get. This gives me comfort too, better to have had a short,blissful life full of love...then a longer life with periods of unhappiness or neglect. RIP young lady. xx
 
I can appreciate how difficult it is to lose a pony, my thoughts are with you. We had my son's loan pony PTS last week due to cushings and other problems. We also lost our gorgeous home bred foal to acorns. I still well up thinking about it now.

When the time comes their passing is sad but in Poppy's case it was a relief as the suffering had ended. Losing one so young is hard as you do think about what could have been.

Sending hugs to you.
 
So many hugs OP. So terribly sad to lose a youngster and especially when you have had her since so young. She was very lucky to have her time with you, and then have you to set her free when it was time. Run free, tiny pone. x x
 
My thoughts are with you OP, you sound such a caring and considerate owner giving your horse the very best care right up until the end. There is no pain like loosing a horse, and you will never forget the feeling, but it does get easier to bear.
 
So sorry for you loss, and so young too. Sounds like a wonderful girl, so lucky to have you, someone who listened when she knew it was time and had the courage to do best by her however much it might cost you. Hugs XX
 
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