pts nastiness.

You made a very brave and responsible decision that only a loving horse owner would make. I hope I have the strength to do that when the time comes. Please don't keep going over his words in your head, try and replace them with positive ones.Take care at such a difficult time.
 
OP in the circumstances you described you did absolutely the right thing as a caring owner.I hope you get some comfort from all the posters on here who have reassured you about this. It's sad enough having to take the decision to have an equine friend and companion PTS, without having to face criticism and ignorant behaviour from others on the yard. Be kind to yourself - you were certainly kind to your elderly horse.
Your original previous post regarding this was very poignant, you sounded very caring then.
 
Sending you some much needed vibes OP, making such a difficult decision is hard enough without other people's nasty comments.
You should take comfort in the fact that you did the right thing for your boy. You gave him a good life and made the hardest choice for his sake. Take pride in knowing you did what was best and fair for him and keep your chin up at such a difficult time.
 
You know you did the right thing (and so do the HHO forumites). You gave a dignified end which is something we all hope to be able to give our animals. He's not going to suffer a move and the bad weather which had already affected him.

There a some spiteful people out there, rise above their nastiness. Your grief for the loss of a loved horse will have lots of ups and downs over the next few weeks. Take care of yourself and rest assured he's at peace. X
 
You did the right thing!

I have found that horses seem to know when you have made the decision for them. Charlie Horse knew the day before he went too, he went for a last walk round the yard, going to his old stable, everywhere. On the day he went his lameness suddenly got better too. I believe it is because they know they are going, and they are free with that idea.

I would take comfort that he went looking like a 2 yo.

Enjoy your other horse, in a better yard. X
 
Reading your post OP I was tearing up and so so angry on your behalf. I am always astounded that people can be so evil. Just wanted to send you a big hug. You know you did the right thing by your boy although I know it can be hard to put peoples vile words out of your mind but please try. xx
 
I am so sorry you are getting this abuse. Of course you did the right thing for your old boy, it is a decision that is so hard for any caring horse owner but absolutely right for the horse.

I hope you can put the nasty comments out of your head and move on to enjoy your horse and new yard.
 
Op,sorry to read about your boy. You did the kindest but hardest thing for him,with his interest at heart.
And, very angry the appalling specimen of humanity that was your old YO behaved as he did.
I hope things improve for you at the new yard.
 
Ditto all the others...

You did the best thing by your boy. As hard as it is please do not listen to the nasty people at your yard.

Please also do not feel guilty about making that decision, it was a very brave and responsible choice to make.

Big hugs xxx
 
Well you know you did the right thing for your horse, he is no longer struggling on the hard ground.
You also know that the YO of the yard he was on can be very nasty - so why would you take any notice of what they think? Every time the last conversation pops into your head, deliberately push it away and think of some of your good memories of your horse. Eventually you will get into the habit of doing that. You must have looked after the horse well to get him to 30 and you continued to do that up until the end.
 
i only posted to get this off my chest, i honestly didn t think it could make me feel better but it has a little bit..so thankyou very much.
To others who have faced similair , its awful and no one could explain the feeling unless they had been there i can t evan begin to think about chester yet but some steam has been let off and im starting to see the bigger picture.
I dont think he could have seriously thought that, the entire conversation was like when a child is speaking the parents words. I think at the moment he is enamoured with his new friends and I need to just wish him the best and jog on.
I have no idea what the future holds for my other horse, at the moment she has new friends she needs to impress and has also frumped me!!!!!!! (I have been there with Chester and know she will eventually need me in her life again once the novelty wears off)
 
People can have some really stupid ideas about PTS. You 100% did the right thing for your boy. We made a very similar decision for our old boy a few years ago. In very similar circumstances, we had to move yards because of some nastiness, he had an unusual foot issue which we couldn't treat and he wouldn't even let us handle the foot... it was looking like it was going to be a horrible wet winter and that was no way we'd be able to give him proper foot care. We PTS before he suffered and it was the right decision. All winter I was so glad he wasn't having to live through that weather feeling stressed and vulnerable. It was hard because of the yard move element... would we have done it if we didn't have to move? Possibly not. But maybe then he actually would have suffered more. So I still think it was the right thing even if our hand was forced a little.

If somebody has made some comment like you got I'd have been really upset too. Nasty piece of work to say something like that and also to get stroppy over friggin buckets! FGS.

Stay strong, you did the right thing and the nasty people can go get in the sea.
 
*hugs* it's an awful thing to have to deal with even when the people around you are supportive. You don't deserve bitchy comments, so hang on in there and know you did the right thing xx
 
I am so sorry to read of these peoples behaviour.
They should hang their heads in shame.
What absolutely nasty people.
You know your horse, you did the right thing for your horse.
I hope that you will have many happy memories of your horse. 30 years old is a remarkable age and you did very well.
Remeber all the fun times you had with your horse and enjoy your 6 year old.
All the very best.
 
I couldn't flick by this without saying something....

Guilt unfortunately is a normal part of grieving: having just lost my 97yo mother (died peacefully thank god) I'm still feeling guilty! And will do no doubt for some time to come. But I digress, sorry.

You obviously loved this lovely horse with all your heart and soul. You constantly thought of him and wanted the very best for him; that was your aim. You'd obviously thought about the PTS decision, which none of us takes lightly, and you felt it was "the time". YOU, not anyone else around who doesn't know your horse or is a stranger, no, it was YOU that wanted to spare him further distress and decided that this was the right time. And do NOT repeat not feel guilty that economic reasons played a part - this is the way things are and you must not feel bad about that factor influencing your decision, because your main commitment was to the wellbeing and happiness of your old boy as well as thinking sensibly about your other horses too.

As someone else has said "better a day too soon than a week too late". It is coming up to the coldest part of the year now, and your old boy would very likely have struggled more in the very near future, oldies do when the weather is inclement, its just one of those things. I've got an old gal and I can identify so much with what you've had to go through as I know that one day (possibly before the end of the winter :( ) I may have to make a difficult choice concerning her, but it will be a humane one. You are to be congratulated for having made a bold decision and not advertised your old boy on fB as a "companion, free to good home" like so many poor old horses you can see on social media at the moment which makes my heart weep because no-one is there to care for them at the end of their lives when they need it most, and the owners are not prepared to do what you've done and make a compassionate choice.

These people at the yard are frankly not worth the time of day; PLEASE do not allow their nasty words to penetrate your being. What they say is NOT TRUE. Keep telling yourself that. Your dear old boy would tell you that too if he could.........

Am so sorry for your loss; 30 is one helluva age and you must have done something right to get him to that age! Well done, you should congratulate yourself on maintaining an old boy in good health for so long; and then having the courage and compassion to do the right thing at the right time, its never easy, but you don't need this nastiness.
 
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Another who didn't want to read and run.
I'm so so sorry you have been through this :( but it sounds like you've made the right choices. You made a brave and heartbreaking choice, I wish more people were as brave as you, then there might not be as much suffering.
Big hugs to you. x
 
When people get upset about an opinion expressd by a third party, I always ask "would you ask that person for their opinion of your hair style?" If the answer is no, then I suggest that their opinion on something more serious is of no consequence at all. You know that you did the right thing for your horse and the opinion of this twonk is of no relevance at all. Try and remember the good times with your boy and rest easy in the fact that he is now in no pain or anxiety.
 
He was 30, personally it would have been traumatic to move him and then pts somewhere he didn't know. Better to do it where it was "home" for him - you did the right thing and gave him a dignified end despite the skulking around those other people did to you in the final moments. How disgraceful.

So nasty to say that to you and to ask for the buckets back. Really petty, trying to belittle you to the very last. Good riddance I say.

Grieve your boy as you should and remember the fond memories and try and forget the bad ones.
 
AFB said:
Better a week too early than a day too late.

You knew your horse and you were the only one able to make that decision.
Click to expand...

This is so very true. Our horse's field mate was PTS recently in her 30s, on the cusp of suffering due to age related issues, yet a couple of months previously the vet had said she was looking very well possibly the best for over a year - but things change. Had she continued, the cold and snowy weather this week would not have been good for her given she could no longer eat hay. IMO the owner knew exactly the right moment and acted responsibly and accordingly, she went on a warmer sunny day with a tummy of grass and before she had a chance to really suffer. Yes it's sad she's gone, but glad she didn't have to suffer at length like many humans have to.
 
I am so sorry to read this. What disgusting and ignorant behaviour from your old yard - I'm glad you've moved on and left them behind to stew in their own mess.

I hope you are feeling in your heart you did the best thing for your boy. He was one of the lucky ones to have an owner who cared enough to do the right thing.
 
so sorry that you have been made to feel so bad. you clearly have done the right thing. lots of love and best wishes
luckyoldme said:
i had my 30 year old pts on Monday, the proffesionals were amazing it went very smoothly.
I want to put the circumstances on here and the after effects because right now i cant evan bear to think about my horse, and on night shift last night i heard on phrase over and over againl
My horse was at the very beggining of the visible signs of old age decline, i was royally ripped off when i bought him, but given i only wanted a happy hacker i decided to fight through the initial carnage which we did, and we had a lovely 10 years strolling around the lovely area we live in. We ended up living in livery bliss for the last 7 years with others on a small holding where everyone just rubbed along, No one fell out believe it or not and we just mucked in and helped each other out. I ve posted on here too about how lucky i felt and that i thought the world of the owner.
When new liveries came, things changed, fur was flying in all directions and the owner made it very obvious he was firmly in their camp and the friendship i had valued was effectively over. I immediately made the decision to move. Part of that decision was to have my old boy pts.
I made that decision , If I hadnt felt pushed out of where we were I would have given him a bit longer, but ultimately I needed to leave and at 30 i felt it was better for my old boy to end his story where we had been for the last 7 years. The last few days before he went he was stranded at the bottom of the field, i had to almost force him to come in for his feed. He was struggling on the frozen ground, but on the day we put him to sleep he looked about 2 year old bright and beautiful. Im afraid to say it but money did come into my decision , I have a 6 year old i bought from the owner of the yard and wasn t expecting to have to find somewhere new I have changed jobs and it was allways hanging over me if something went wrong what if i could nt afford to sort it.
So basicly those are the facts. Ive tried to be fair to everyone and not big myself up.
the day my horse was pts i had asked for the privacy to spend time with my horse. I was denied this and the new liveries hung around till just before the vet came. This really really upset me but i kept my head down and we got through immediately after i left with my other horse. Having cleared my stuff out beforehand.
Ther following day In a phone call discussing the return of money owed (he was very good about that) i was accused of stealing 2 yellow buckets (i did take buckets there and I did bring 2 home but i told him rather than make a big do of it he could have them) ...the owner told me that i am a disgrace for having my horse put down as there was nothing wrong with him and i was supposed to love him.
The reason that I am writing this is that i can t tell how much damage those words have done. I knew my horse for 10 years and evan when for the last month i hated the yard i was up there at 6 every morning to take care of him and avoid people.
I did a night shift last night, and i heard those words over and over again. If they were spoken to break my heart it worked. I know people will tell me how mean he is and the really mad thing is that he sent his own horse to slaughter (no judgement here, just odd to do that then criticise me for what i did for my old boy)
I spoke to lady today who told me its the owners who dont make the decision who are the disgrace.
I hope my horse is resting in peace, but right now i cant evan bear to think about him..i am just so bloody distraught.
Click to expand...
 
OP, falling out with friends is very hard.

I can understand why people who know your horses will be concerned for them if they feel that livery yard bitchiness and tight finances are playing a part in your decisions about keeping them alive. Because livery yards are very, very bitchy places (which don't usually deny other clients access to their own horses just because another is being PTS) and horses are very, very expensive animals. So, it isn't like those problems are likely to go away forever. And you now have complete control over their homebred who has, presumably, lived at their yard the entire rest of its life under their care.

At this point in time it is entirely understandable that you aren't feeling friendly towards the YO, who, more than likely, (until they read this thread - which probably contains plenty enough information for them to identify themselves in it...) will have had no idea of the level of impact a few words will have had when you're understandably feeling very sensitive.

Much, much later you might understand why they made the offer to buy back the younger animal - it would have allowed them to care for that one and eased up your finances to allow you to afford your oldie for as long as you would have wanted.

That is why I have some sympathy for the YO here - many ppl will make comments about situations, they were prepared to put their money where their mouth was and help out both horses and yourself.

Although I do appreciate that is not at all how it is feeling to you.
 
When I had my old girl PTS my eldest daughter refused to speak to me for a week. It made a heartbreaking time even more traumatic and painful so I understand very well what damage being judged in that way can do.

At the end of the day, you let your old friend go before he began to suffer. That was a brave and selfless thing to do.

You don't need to deal with those people again so try not to let it bother you.

xx
 
luckyoldme said:
i had my 30 year old pts on Monday, the proffesionals were amazing it went very smoothly.
I want to put the circumstances on here and the after effects because right now i cant evan bear to think about my horse, and on night shift last night i heard on phrase over and over againl
My horse was at the very beggining of the visible signs of old age decline, i was royally ripped off when i bought him, but given i only wanted a happy hacker i decided to fight through the initial carnage which we did, and we had a lovely 10 years strolling around the lovely area we live in. We ended up living in livery bliss for the last 7 years with others on a small holding where everyone just rubbed along, No one fell out believe it or not and we just mucked in and helped each other out. I ve posted on here too about how lucky i felt and that i thought the world of the owner.
When new liveries came, things changed, fur was flying in all directions and the owner made it very obvious he was firmly in their camp and the friendship i had valued was effectively over. I immediately made the decision to move. Part of that decision was to have my old boy pts.
I made that decision , If I hadnt felt pushed out of where we were I would have given him a bit longer, but ultimately I needed to leave and at 30 i felt it was better for my old boy to end his story where we had been for the last 7 years. The last few days before he went he was stranded at the bottom of the field, i had to almost force him to come in for his feed. He was struggling on the frozen ground, but on the day we put him to sleep he looked about 2 year old bright and beautiful. Im afraid to say it but money did come into my decision , I have a 6 year old i bought from the owner of the yard and wasn t expecting to have to find somewhere new I have changed jobs and it was allways hanging over me if something went wrong what if i could nt afford to sort it.
So basicly those are the facts. Ive tried to be fair to everyone and not big myself up.
the day my horse was pts i had asked for the privacy to spend time with my horse. I was denied this and the new liveries hung around till just before the vet came. This really really upset me but i kept my head down and we got through immediately after i left with my other horse. Having cleared my stuff out beforehand.
Ther following day In a phone call discussing the return of money owed (he was very good about that) i was accused of stealing 2 yellow buckets (i did take buckets there and I did bring 2 home but i told him rather than make a big do of it he could have them) ...the owner told me that i am a disgrace for having my horse put down as there was nothing wrong with him and i was supposed to love him.
The reason that I am writing this is that i can t tell how much damage those words have done. I knew my horse for 10 years and evan when for the last month i hated the yard i was up there at 6 every morning to take care of him and avoid people.
I did a night shift last night, and i heard those words over and over again. If they were spoken to break my heart it worked. I know people will tell me how mean he is and the really mad thing is that he sent his own horse to slaughter (no judgement here, just odd to do that then criticise me for what i did for my old boy)
I spoke to lady today who told me its the owners who dont make the decision who are the disgrace.
I hope my horse is resting in peace, but right now i cant evan bear to think about him..i am just so bloody distraught.
Click to expand...

Oh OP I really don't know what to say. I am shocked someone could be so unkind to you and say such a horrible thing.
You have done nothing wrong! You have tried your hardest to do right by your old boy. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You gave him a dignified, painfree end, in the home he had known for 7 years. There is nothing disgraceful about that xx
 
GirlFriday said:
OP, falling out with friends is very hard.

I can understand why people who know your horses will be concerned for them if they feel that livery yard bitchiness and tight finances are playing a part in your decisions about keeping them alive. Because livery yards are very, very bitchy places (which don't usually deny other clients access to their own horses just because another is being PTS) and horses are very, very expensive animals. So, it isn't like those problems are likely to go away forever. And you now have complete control over their homebred who has, presumably, lived at their yard the entire rest of its life under their care.

At this point in time it is entirely understandable that you aren't feeling friendly towards the YO, who, more than likely, (until they read this thread - which probably contains plenty enough information for them to identify themselves in it...) will have had no idea of the level of impact a few words will have had when you're understandably feeling very sensitive.

Much, much later you might understand why they made the offer to buy back the younger animal - it would have allowed them to care for that one and eased up your finances to allow you to afford your oldie for as long as you would have wanted.

That is why I have some sympathy for the YO here - many ppl will make comments about situations, they were prepared to put their money where their mouth was and help out both horses and yourself.

Although I do appreciate that is not at all how it is feeling to you.
Click to expand...

I don't have any sympathy for the YO at all, the OP clearly states that her horse had got stranded at the bottom of the field, she had almost had to use force to get him to his dinner & he was struggling on the icey ground. How is leaving a horse to suffer the action of a horse lover?
I can't see any problem with the OPs treatment of her horse & certainly wouldn't want to remove a horse from her care based the decision she made for this old horse.
 
turkana said:
I don't have any sympathy for the YO at all, the OP clearly states that her horse had got stranded at the bottom of the field, she had almost had to use force to get him to his dinner & he was struggling on the icey ground. How is leaving a horse to suffer the action of a horse lover?
I can't see any problem with the OPs treatment of her horse & certainly wouldn't want to remove a horse from her care based the decision she made for this old horse.
Click to expand...

Not her treatment of the older horse, which I don't think anyone suggested anyway. But OP said she was struggling both with finances and also inter-livery relations, both of which she said played a part in her decision to PTS, ie she may have chosen to act differently in terms of that horse if she had greater funds and hadn't had a falling out with the yard. On that basis I assumed that there was some doubt as to the exact timing she felt was best _for the horse_. I'd understood that the YO offered to buy back their homebred - which would have helped the OP out financially as one horse is rather cheaper than two and also removed the inter-personal dimension from husbandry decisions.
 
GirlFriday said:
Not her treatment of the older horse, which I don't think anyone suggested anyway. But OP said she was struggling both with finances and also inter-livery relations, both of which she said played a part in her decision to PTS, ie she may have chosen to act differently in terms of that horse if she had greater funds and hadn't had a falling out with the yard. On that basis I assumed that there was some doubt as to the exact timing she felt was best _for the horse_. I'd understood that the YO offered to buy back their homebred - which would have helped the OP out financially as one horse is rather cheaper than two and also removed the inter-personal dimension from husbandry decisions.
Click to expand...

The reasons the OP chose to put the horse down are her own and I have to say you are being horrifically judgmental. Its people like you that stop people doing the right thing for their horses and is one of the reasons I have sent my 7 yearold horse home to my mother. My horse is 7 years old, has arthritis of the spine and hocks, is lame and nothing further can be done other than keep him comfortable with medication and bute. I know that now he is at home should the financial pressure of funding his medication (at 800 every 3 to 4 months) get too much, or his condition worsen then I wont face any judgement from my mother for having him PTS.
Should I have to do so anyone who asks will be told he either broke a leg in the field or got colic and was PTS. Putting to sleep a horse who on the outside looks healthy is not an easy decision and is not done easily.

I too have no sympathy for the YO, if they had not made life so difficult on what was apparently a peaceful yard previously then yes maybe the horse may have been given some more time but then again the horse was struggling already.

Better a month too early than a day too late.
 
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