PTS or keep going

[Trouper]

The really hardest part is agonising over making the decision and you have been so brave to do that. She is at peace now and nothing can hurt or upset her any more - and you gave her that last great kindness. Just hold on to that thought - and hold your head up high.
Everything feels so raw and painful immediately afterwards and, all I can suggest from my ancient years of experience, is just don't make any other decisions for the time being. They won't be good ones.
What I have also learnt is that I don't find it helpful to try and avoid the grief - it just seems to chase after one and last longer. If you can bear to wallow in it for a while and spend time remembering all the good times it somehow dulls the sharpness of the pain to a bearable level.
You have a pony to look after - and wherever that pony is, it will trigger memories. I hope you have people at your current yard who understand what you have gone thro' and sometimes that support is just what you need on the ground - not the disinterested interest of strangers at a new place.
Don't hate the yard - or the choice you made - it was all part of your life with her and the amazing thing you did for her at the end. The sun will shine again - just not today.

 

[Birker2020]

Thank you all for the kind words. This is so much harder than I thought. I now hate going to the yard, everything reminds me of her and the choice I made. My children’s pony is kept at the same yard so it’s unavoidable:-( Any tips? Should I look to move the pony or will this feeling pass?

It will pass. I lost my horse of 17 years in June, she was 24. I was having my stable and paddock held until I could find a suitable horse and I viewed four before I found Lari. Sadly its gone all pear shaped with him (although I hope it works out eventually) but having him in Baileys stable wearing Baileys rugs and eating out of Baileys feed buckets just gives me so much comfort. It probably sounds goulish to most folk but it keeps her memory alive. The only thing I wouldn't do was use Baileys headcollar as I felt that was a big no no and she'd said to the horse whisperer that she didn't like people using her headcollar as it was hers -staff had had to once as a new owner never left her horses headcollar on the fence and Baileys was the only one that fit!

I am hoping and praying that it works out for you. Maybe put your daughters pony in your mares stable, it will give you some comfort rather than seeing it empty. Just try it and see. Big hugs to you, its heart breaking I know, but you did the right thing x