Puppy bedtime - upstairs or downstairs

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BBP

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The first month I had my puppy I slept downstairs with him. My intention was for him to always sleep downstairs in his crate/pen and the upstairs be a dog free zone, this is what my parents always did with our old dog. I gradually moved upstairs and all was fine, the odd yap as I left him but then straight to sleep.

My dilemma is that now he is a dog with two homes. As planned, he spends Sunday night to Thursday night at my partners and then fri-sat here. My partners place is just one big studio type room, no stairs, so puppy effectively sleeps in the room every night with him. He didn’t come home last weekend so effectively slept in same room 2 weeks running. When it has come time to leave him to go upstairs tonight he has been very unsettled (even started howling, which is new!). Him being stressed sets off my stress which sets off my lyme head pain.

So, I’m wondering if it’s a little unfair to expect him to sleep with his human all night through the week and then expect him to be ok with sleeping downstairs alone at the weekend? Is it important that he learns to settle and accept that that is how it is? Or would it do him any harm if I ‘gave in’ and brought his crate upstairs and had him sleep in the room with us? (Not sure cats would like this plan but I might sleep better!). Is it better to be consistent? He is okay in his crate if we have to leave him for an hour or two in the day.

Right now I have to be a little bit selfish and think about maximising the rest I can get and minimising the stress, but I find I lie awake listening for him being upset downstairs.

If he lived in the same place every night I would stick with saying he sleeps downstairs but the fa t that at my OHs they sleep in the same room makes me think it must be hard for him to understand the difference.

Edit to add, he is now 6 months old...time flies!
 
They are very social pack animals, so definitely prefer to be with the rest of their pack (you) for sleeping and every other activity. I don't think it's selfish to maximise the rest you get when you aren't welll, but i also don't think he will really be happy having one sleeping arrangement at one place and the opposite at another as they cannot understand the reason why humans do things.
Perhaps you could try the crate on the landing (with door open so he can see you) if you don't want him in your actual room. Or alternatively get him another doggy pack member?
 
wkiwi said:
They are very social pack animals, so definitely prefer to be with the rest of their pack (you) for sleeping and every other activity. I don't think it's selfish to maximise the rest you get when you aren't welll, but i also don't think he will really be happy having one sleeping arrangement at one place and the opposite at another as they cannot understand the reason why humans do things.
Perhaps you could try the crate on the landing (with door open so he can see you) if you don't want him in your actual room. Or alternatively get him another doggy pack member?
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This is the thing, I think I would get more rest of he was in my room as I know he would settle and sleep right away. I guess just through doing some things the way my parents did I always thought dogs should sleep downstairs, but now I’m thinking it must be really confusing for him as to why he can’t sleep with his people 2 nights a week. My house is tiny but I’m thinking if I had a crate in my room the cats could still come and go and he could still be shut downstairs in the day (my stairs are short but steep so I don’t want him taking himself up and down them).
 
BBP said:
This is the thing, I think I would get more rest of he was in my room as I know he would settle and sleep right away. I guess just through doing some things the way my parents did I always thought dogs should sleep downstairs, but now I’m thinking it must be really confusing for him as to why he can’t sleep with his people 2 nights a week. My house is tiny but I’m thinking if I had a crate in my room the cats could still come and go and he could still be shut downstairs in the day (my stairs are short but steep so I don’t want him taking himself up and down them).
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:) :) :)
 
He is a dog and will cope with what he is dealt. He will soon learn different arrangements at each house, for instance my dogs can get on the furniture at my mothers but not here at home, they can completely tell the difference.
With you not being well it must be harder but if you stick to what you have been doing he will soon differentiate and go back to being settled. He is in his crate at your partners, I assume, and not on the bed?
 
Yes he has a pen at my partners (probably 2x the size of a large crate, which is what he has here too).
 
I would normally agree with Clodagh buuuut ;) he's an only dog yes? personally I would have him in a crate in your room at home as thats effectively what he's getting at the BFs.
for years I have had an only dog sleeping downstairs (or the front room-not in the bedrooms/back of the house as thats what my parents' did with theirs) but I've changed my mind on these things-social sleeping is important for dogs.
 
i would think he is confused , so maybe have him upstairs with you and you will both get a better nights sleep. it will be better for you to be able to relax and not keep listening out for him. lots of people have their dogs upstairs so it not unusual...
 
Personally I like my dogs to be trained to sleep on their own downstairs if at all possible, because it is much easier to find people to look after them for you whilst you are on holiday or in case of emergency. But given your circumstances it might be easier to have him in the same room as long as he is in a crate or pen, and not in the bed.
 
MotherOfChickens said:
I would normally agree with Clodagh buuuut ;) he's an only dog yes? personally I would have him in a crate in your room at home as thats effectively what he's getting at the BFs.
for years I have had an only dog sleeping downstairs (or the front room-not in the bedrooms/back of the house as thats what my parents' did with theirs) but I've changed my mind on these things-social sleeping is important for dogs.
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Our dogs are all shut seperately at bedtime anyway. Tawny upstairs on the bed - spolied!? - Pen in the hall, Brandy gated into the cloakroom and puppy in the kennel. You are too fluffy!! (joke!)
 
Clodagh said:
Our dogs are all shut seperately at bedtime anyway. Tawny upstairs on the bed - spolied!? - Pen in the hall, Brandy gated into the cloakroom and puppy in the kennel. You are too fluffy!! (joke!)
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mine each have their own crate-but they are in the same room. they sleep together on the couch at other times and sometimes on me-I am awfully soft :D I can't however, abide them on beds lol.
 
I only have one dog (at the moment) she sleeps on the sofa and only comes in the bedroom if the fire alarm freaks her out by making noises, we are on the same floor.
If we sleep at anyone else's she is either in a crate in a room of the home owners choice or in her bed in the room with me and she is fine with any of it.
OP it's your home your rules, if you want the dog in your room so you both rest better then do that, if you want the dog downstairs then stick with it.
 
I think if I were you, OP, in view of the fact that you need your rest, I would take the crate upstairs and let him sleep there, if it keeps him quiet.
I have never allowed dogs upstairs. We used to have some sleeping downstairs in the house,and some outside in the buildings. Our current dogs (2 Rottweilers) sleep in their crate downstairs, Should we have burglars, the crate would burst open and the burglars would get a dreadful shock. We all have to modify our ideas, according to our circumstances.
 
My dogs sleep downstairs, as I like at least part of my house not to be covered in hair and smell of dog. When big dog was an only dog he slept downstairs on his own BUT at the end of the day, your house and your dog and if it makes it easier to have him upstairs then do!
 
MotherOfChickens said:
I would normally agree with Clodagh buuuut ;) he's an only dog yes? personally I would have him in a crate in your room at home as thats effectively what he's getting at the BFs.
for years I have had an only dog sleeping downstairs (or the front room-not in the bedrooms/back of the house as thats what my parents' did with theirs) but I've changed my mind on these things-social sleeping is important for dogs.
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I don’t have an issue with an only dog sleeping on your bed - if they’re fidget arses, take up more room than you or piddle in the night then we have a problem, Houston.
 
Our stairs are off the kitchen. When we go the bed, the dogs generally come up with us. Living room is shut off from them. Luna will get on the bed for 10 mins, then go to sleep on the floor. Aled lays under our bed. Like you OP, when I lived with my parents, dogs didn’t go upstairs! Most mornings, I hear Luna come upstairs at waking up time (she still needs to learn weekends and days off), and I come down to find Aled sprawled across the kitchen floor. I was all for dogs sleeping in kitchen at night. Was over ruled by OH as the cat comes upstairs. I do keep the other 2 bedrooms off limits though.
 
I decided that I would go for the crate upstairs. It was so much more peaceful and I was able to relax and get a proper nights sleep (other than his bedroom refurbishments where he decided he didn’t want to sleep on his bed but would rather sleep underneath it, so there was much scrabbling and muttering and crashing against the cage - I woke up to find an apparently empty crate until I saw his little nose sticking out from underneath!) The cats didn’t come up to bed but they have 5 other nights to spend with me, plus daytimes the upstairs is a dog free zone. (And he doesn’t go on furniture so they get that bonus)

I think it’s worth it for the extra rest we all get. I know he does eventually settle downstairs but to be honest at 0430am my puppy senses go on high alert as the downstairs of my house is so light (skylights) and I’m wondering if he is awake and needing a pee. So I slept better this morning too. Hopefully it won’t be a massive issue if I have to leave him for someone else to look after at night at any point.
 
It sounds well worth it. I wonder if he would like one of those cave beds that people get for whippets? Mind you he might cook in one with his coat!
 
I think that may be his problem, that he gets hot, so he prefers to sleep on the tiles or wood floor than his bed when downstairs. He seems to think sleeping on the plastic floor of the crate with bed on top is preferable to lying on top of the bed. I’ll try a piece of Vet bed next time rather than something cushiony.
 
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