pushy parents

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bellaM

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I am really fed up with the attitude of the mother of a little girl I teach.
The little girl has been riding 3 years and can walk, trot, canter and jump and has quite a good technique.
If the little girl can't get a canter strike off or makes any little mistake, which is bound to happen the mother stands there at the side of the arena shouting at her.
The little girl tells me she dreads getting in the car with her mum as she shouts at her, the mum has approached me saying that the little girl is on her last chance and that if her riding doesn't improve then she is going to stop and that apparently the little girl is like this at school where she is content to 'mooch along' and is a dreamer, the little girl just stares at thefloor and is miserable when her mum is there.
I've asked the little girl what she likes to do and have explained to the mum that a childs co-ordination isn't as good as an adults, and that perhaps the little girl wants to enjoy her riding and that is is a welcome break from her school work, not only this but that her little girl is actually doing quite well and listens to what I say and uses incentive.
I feel so sorry for this little girl as she is being bullied by her mum, I try to make lessons as fun as possible for her, I have also talked to her mum about entering her into competitions, but sometimes her mum is like talking to a brick wall!!! I don't know what else to say to her!!!
 
Thats awful, I don't know how much you can do to be honest - she probably won't be very nice to you if you tell her what you think!
 
I feel very very sorry for children like this
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. I hate pushy parents and it is very often one sure-fire way to encourage your children to have absolutely nothing to do with horses when they grow up!

There is no more that you can do unfortunately - just keep her lessons as interesting and fun as you can make them. I feel sorry for you too having to watch this.
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What a silly woman and poor girl!!
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I can't stand parents like that, and they tend to be the ones who know f all about horses or riding themselves!!
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[ QUOTE ]
they tend to be the ones who know f all about horses or riding themselves!!

[/ QUOTE ] You know BB, that has always been my experience of these people too.
 
Well the mother rides occasionally herself and keeps saying to her that she was 'galloping over fields' etc etc at this point, I think even if the little girl done that standing on her head her mum wouldn't praise her.
Maybe if I mentioned that I don;t think the little girl would do any right in her eyes she might ask for a different instructor but maybe something would sink in that would make her think, she also compares her a lot to her older sister.
 
I cannot stand people like this! I feel soo sorry for children with pushy parents, I used to see them all the time at local shows, if the kids didn't win then they would hear about it none stop from their parents. Yelling at them in the middle of the show blaming them for their pony having a pole down or something like that.
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Urrgggh!! I hate pushy parents with a passion.

I just wonder what the hell do they think they are hoping to achieve?

I have seen way too many Mums walk away from their child at a comp because they didn't win or go clear. I have seen children break their hearts only because they saw the disappointment in their parents face. I have to do my very best not to scowl at these stupid people.

I have overheard one set of parents say "I spend so much money on this, the least she can do is go clear"!!! WHAT!! Wrong sport if you think you are going to get value for money. PMSL!

I am sure I still adore my horses to this day because my parents never pushed me to do anything. In fact I had to all but beg to go to any local shows and if I dared to come out of the ring in a sulk I was sternly told that I was doing this for fun and if I wasn't having fun then we would all be going home. (I did get close to being sent home a few times)!
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That really is sad, if I was you I probably wouldnt have bitten my tongue.. Saying that you are doing the right thing. At least the little girl is having a break from the stupid cow whilst you are giving lessons. I assume that the mother steps back while you are teaching?
If not id probably explain to her that shouting wont get her anywhere and you'd prefer it if she didnt shout at her daughter whilst in lessons.
Thats really sad to here, it will probably put the little girl off for life..

I also wonder what she is trying to achieve.. poor child.
 
Tis ashame, my parent were pretty push, i remember once at a show because my pony was on the wrong leg for canter in some ridden class i was not alowed to do young handler (that was my favorite class). By the time I was about 8 i had the choice of what riding i did so that was OK, but before then i was showing, showing,showing!

Haz
 
[ QUOTE ]
Well the mother rides occasionally herself and keeps saying to her that she was 'galloping over fields' etc etc at this point, I think even if the little girl done that standing on her head her mum wouldn't praise her.
Maybe if I mentioned that I don;t think the little girl would do any right in her eyes she might ask for a different instructor but maybe something would sink in that would make her think, she also compares her a lot to her older sister.

[/ QUOTE ]

To be honest, I would do just that. This woman needs telling. Most likely that noone has ever said anything to her. It may go over her head but it just might not and I think its worth a try. Could make a huge difference to this girls life. I have to say that my daughters instructor wouldn't think twice about telling me to butt the hell out should I even tell my daughter to put her heels down as she went past me during a lesson.lol... As long as you're not risking your job, I'd politely inform this woman that she is actually hampering her daughters progress...
 
Pushy parents are terrible, especially the ones that know nothing about riding and then as soon as they buy their child a pony, they over night become world experts and the pony and child suffer more!
 
1 of my friends saw a 5 year old compete at a show, make a mistake and the mother shout "You are letting the whole family down!" at her. The next eldest child then appeared asking Mother for assistance and got shouted at as she was supposed to be warming her pony up.
 
[ QUOTE ]
1 of my friends saw a 5 year old compete at a show, make a mistake and the mother shout "You are letting the whole family down!" at her. The next eldest child then appeared asking Mother for assistance and got shouted at as she was supposed to be warming her pony up.

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Bloody terrible...
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We had a lad who used to keep his pony on the next door yard, did loads of jumping and got a new pony every year as he keep wrecking them. His dad not only was pushy with him but had an opinion on everyone elses riding as well. This from a bloke that has never been on a horse!

We used to have little fun shows in the school that both yard shared and he was constantly putting people down. After one of his comments someone told him if he was so good then he could show them. Being the expert that he was he offered to get on. He got on the pony and fell straight off the other side!!! I have never laughed so much to see him sliding not so gracefully off the other side. It couln't have happened to a more deserving person!!
 
That reminds me of 2 incidents I know of. 1 a livery, the other a world famous name riding a horse belonging to someone at work. Either way, both ended up on their @rses on the floor!
 
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