Question for parents of small children whose pony's have died.

There have been some very good suggestions about what to say already. Keep it simple and straightforward.

I would be careful about saying anything about "put to sleep" because I have heard that some children think that when they go to sleep they won't wake up, so be careful with your choice of words. What do other people think about that?

This is so sad for you all. Poor pony. Big hugs.
 
I lost my pony when I was just turned 12 very unexpectedly due to an anuerism, he was only 9 and a few days before we hadbeen galloping about on the beach. Mum told me as soon as I got home and let me chosemy own way of coping. My sister has had 2 ponies PTS- one when she was 10 and the pony was kicked in the field and broke her shoulder. Once again, A was told imediately and we got on with life, missing said pony immensely. However, most relevant was when A was 7 and her first pony suddenly came down with acute laminitis, was in agony, and couldn't move. He was old and much loved- mum told A he had gone to be a companion pony in a lovely big field with his old owners because they missed him too much. We were upset, but not as upset had we been told the truth. We made a little booklet with loads of photos in, and we all wrote what we loved about Muffin and A moved on to a new pony. We aren't scared for life, but we were too young to be told about death- especially considering he died because he was in pain. If you do tell her, don't say about the surgery, just say she went comfortably. 7yos have an amazing ability to cope.

Sorry for your loss- its always horrible.
 
I would never hide it from them. From a young age my parents encouraged me to keep small animals ie hamsters to learn to deal with death, they also encouraged me to touch anything that had died recently before it was taken away, as it makes understanding it a bit easier. I think because of this I'm now fine with it all and quite happy to hold horses to be PTS if their owners can't cope. I would be honest with them, maybe omit the died after surgery bit, but say that the vets had her on the table and just gave her more drugs till she slipped away while she was sleeping. Children cope very well, better than you think, death shouldn't be a big deal to them, and its nothing to fear to a child unless you make it so. It's a natural thing so getting them to come to terms with it now will be much better for them as they get older.
 
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I would be careful about saying anything about "put to sleep" because I have heard that some children think that when they go to sleep they won't wake up, so be careful with your choice of words. What do other people think about that?



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I actually think that that would maybe only apply to very, very young children. Below 6, say.

Also, children brought up around animals, particularly larger ones, usually become very nfamiliar with the PTS term & know that it is something that is used to put an animal peacefully out of it's misery.

That is my experience & opinion anyway but obviously others may think differently.
 
Patches, this isn't for your children, this is for you. I know it's very different but my son has epilepsy and he knows nothing of his seizures. I know they are very distressing for those who witness them - lots of violent movements and horrendous almost unearthly noises - but the person having the fit knows nothing of what is going on. What I'm trying to say is that although your pony probably appeared to be in distress the truth is she probably knew little if anything of what was happening to her. Luke once saw an actor in Casualty having a seizure and asked is that what happens to me?
Please don't beat yourself up, you did everthing in your power to help and no pony could want for more.
Huge hugs to you and your girls.

JDx
 
I dont believe you need to go into any detail - just keep it as simple as you can and like someone else suggested have some nice photos ready and have lots of chats about Tweenie with the children, and if it helps have a good ol' cuddle and huggle and cry together - then recall some happy memories, i'm sure you all have plenty of them, my sympathies are with you as mums our "job" is to stop our children getting hurt or upset so having to tell them something we know is going to upset them is very hard, take care all of you x
 
No advice but I'm so sorry for you
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Huge hugs to you all. x
 
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