Question for those who borrow transport...

[Gift Horse]

If I borrowed a friends trailer I would return it with a bag of shavings or similar (something I know they use) in it - by way of a thank you.

If I was using a trailer weekly I would buy one or hire one not take advantage of someone kind enough to lend me one.

 

[maya2008]

If she can afford to go out that much, she can afford her own trailer.

 

[Duke]

I used to lend out my trailer until a friend smashed it up in an accident. thankfully it was empty at the time and no-one was injured. Long story short, the battle of liability went on for some time and i was left without transport for approx 18 months before they settled and i was reimbursed the value of the trailer. Said friend got fed of no transport to borrow so went and bought herself a trailer a couple of months after the accident so was happily out and about and i was stuck at home. (i am really not comfortable borrowing especially with that experience). Lesson learned. I will never loan out a trailer again.

 

[Greylegs]

I solved my "trailer borrowing" issue by selling my trailer to the borrower!! They were using it far more than I was (which I was totally OK with, I ought to point out) so now I borrow it off them once or twice a year, which is about as much as I want to go anywhere these days. I get to use the trailer when I want and I am no longer paying insurance and yard parking fees for it so am better off. Win, win!

 

[Red-1]

I used to lend out my trailer until a friend smashed it up in an accident. thankfully it was empty at the time and no-one was injured. Long story short, the battle of liability went on for some time and i was left without transport for approx 18 months before they settled and i was reimbursed the value of the trailer. Said friend got fed of no transport to borrow so went and bought herself a trailer a couple of months after the accident so was happily out and about and i was stuck at home. (i am really not comfortable borrowing especially with that experience). Lesson learned. I will never loan out a trailer again.

I do hope that they gave you free use of the trailer once they had it, until yours was ready!!!

Were you able to hire transport and claim the costs back (if the accident was the fault of a 3rd party)?

 

[ihatework]

I used to lend out my trailer until a friend smashed it up in an accident. thankfully it was empty at the time and no-one was injured. Long story short, the battle of liability went on for some time and i was left without transport for approx 18 months before they settled and i was reimbursed the value of the trailer. Said friend got fed of no transport to borrow so went and bought herself a trailer a couple of months after the accident so was happily out and about and i was stuck at home. (i am really not comfortable borrowing especially with that experience). Lesson learned. I will never loan out a trailer again.

That’s really bad!

While my horse was turned out last winter I loaned my trailer to a friend, for what was supposed to be 2-3 months - just because it would have been sitting around and I’d rather it got used by someone I liked & trusted.

As it turned out the trailer got written off in an accident the day she collected it - my poor friend was distraught! I had to stop her going out and buying me a brand new replacement. The insurance paid out for most of it any my friend made up the difference in out of pocket expenses until the replacement arrived.

I’d lend her it again in a heartbeat (but doubt she would accept, she was far more traumatised than I was!).

Sometimes it’s just nice to be generous with your things without a hidden agenda. But it’s very much a case of picking carefully who to!

 

[AmyMay]

OP, just tell her that from next week your trailer will no longer be available for loan. You don’t have to give a reason, but if you feel you have to just tell her you feel constrained on how you can use it - which was not the reason for buying it.

End of 😀

 

[LegOn]

If you arent good at confrontation & I know how hard that can be - especially when its a friend & you dont want to hurt anyone feelings, you can tell its going in for a service & wont be available for the next 2 weeks (would be nice if she offered to pay for the service but it would be interesting to see if she does!)

And then after the 2 weeks - just say that sorry its not available anymore, its costing too much to service (or you dont have to give a reason!). But it would be interesting aswell if she goes out that much, how quickly she will sort herself out with something else in those 2 weeks & then it wont really be an issue to her that yours isnt available to her anymore!

 

[Duke]

I do hope that they gave you free use of the trailer once they had it, until yours was ready!!!

Were you able to hire transport and claim the costs back (if the accident was the fault of a 3rd party)?

I do hope that they gave you free use of the trailer once they had it, until yours was ready!!!

Were you able to hire transport and claim the costs back (if the accident was the fault of a 3rd party)?

No she didn't. she was using it a lot so it was never free on the odd time i wanted to go somewhere. She also just washed her hands of the whole insurance mess so there wasn't even the opportunity to try and claim for interim transport. I realised fairly quickly i was being taken for a mug.

 

[ElectricChampagne]

OP, just tell her that from next week your trailer will no longer be available for loan. You don’t have to give a reason, but if you feel you have to just tell her you feel constrained on how you can use it - which was not the reason for buying it.

End of 😀

this, absolutely this! You shouldn't need to explain yourself to anyone.

If you want to use it to store pink pokadot elephants and flying monkeys for the winter in, thats your business and you don't need to tell anyone. Just make sure it is locked and inaccesible.

 

[Leo Walker]

I borrow my yard owners. I have been using it twice a month ish. I always ask first as a courtesy, and she gets a fair amount back from me in terms of favours done so it kind of balances out. It helps that she doesnt use it either so I wont be conflicting with her no matter where or when I go places.

 

[Leandy]

If I were you I would do one of two things, I would either make it clear that she clearly needs her own transport as she uses it so much and that whilst I am of course always happy to help a friend, I'd expect that to be on an exceptional basis and not a regular arrangement as every time she borrows it is a risk to the trailer and how would she feel if she damages it? OR I would have a discussion that it seems you are now sharing your trailer and so howabout sharing all costs of it also and, because it is actually yours, she should be aware that it is only available for her if you actually don't need it and she needs to work around you not the other way around.

 

[Hormonal Filly]

Just reading this surprised how cheeky she is.. using someones box 3/4 times a week and not offering to pay a penny towards wear and tear?! Clearly she isn't short of a bob to go out that much as it is, I can only afford to take my gelding out once a week, sometimes twice if I'm lucky.

Some great ideas above. Although its your box, so I'd just be short and say please can we limit it to twice a month, or not at all if you don't want her borrowing it again. Its your box, your decision. Don't feel bad.
You are to kind OP. Mine sits there 90% of the year and I only used when I want it, to much hassle letting friends use it.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Never a lender or borrower be.

I lent out my clippers a couple of times then stopped as they returned filthy and blunt blades though the agreement was they were resharpened.

I have a share in a trailer which I use regularly. The other person rarely uses it so I pay for the servicing/repairs etc. We agreed that we wouldn't lend it out but would help someone in an emergency by driving it ourselves. Shouldn't borrow anything you can't afford to replace.

 

[Tiddlypom]

I lent out my clippers a couple of times then stopped as they returned filthy and blunt blades though the agreement was they were resharpened.

Lending out clippers or trailers results in the greatest grief, IME .

 

[Red-1]

No she didn't. she was using it a lot so it was never free on the odd time i wanted to go somewhere. She also just washed her hands of the whole insurance mess so there wasn't even the opportunity to try and claim for interim transport. I realised fairly quickly i was being taken for a mug.

Wow, that would be just an ex-friend for me!

I am sorry that happened to you.

 

[maya2008]

Never a lender or borrower be.

I lent out my clippers a couple of times then stopped as they returned filthy and blunt blades though the agreement was they were resharpened.

Although clipper blades can only be sharpened a limited number of times, and if they did not use enough oil you're shortening the life of the motor. So overall you lose out regardless.

 

[merlinsquest]

I don’t get why you’re having to cancel your arrangements because she has booked the trailer? It’s yours! Just tell her sorry she can’t use it on weds because you’re using it. Everyone at our yard shares their transport except me, I’ve got a new 3.5t lorry that was flipping expensive, if they want one they can buy their own! I’ve observed problems with damage to the other shared transport, can’t be doing with that. I would take a horse to the vet, that’s it!

 

[Trouper]

Thanks all, this thread has really helped me sort my thoughts out on this. I am bothered by the frequency of usage and it is getting me down. Having to organise myself months in advance to use my own transport is a PITA.

MP is right, she is a good friend, she just gets tunnel vision where her own horsey ambitions are concerned and I think has got a bit addicted to being able to go out when she chooses.

Time to have a frank chat I think. If only I wasn’t such a wimp 😂

Think I might suggest that, as she is getting so much use out of it, she might like to buy it from you and you put the funds towards a newer model!!

 

[JennBags]

Goodness me, I'm gobsmacked that you've allowed her to get away with dictating when you can use your own trailer!

I used to lend my lorry out to a friend in the odd occasion, but it started getting more frequent. She was always very grateful and gave me pin money towards using it, but I started worrying about if her horse damaged it, how was she going to afford to pay for repairs. Eventually I told her that I'd renewed my insurance and they'd changed it to me driving only so I couldn't lend it to her any more.

 

[Ditchjumper2]

I will happily drive my lorry for someone else on an emergency but that's it. The only person I would lend it to is the family of the chap who does all the work on it. That is v v rare usually only for something important when theirs is off the road. It always comes back cleaner than it went and with a full tank.

 

[HappyHorses:)]

Did you find your brave pants op? For what's it's worth I have had some people blatantly taking the pee pee and advantage of my generous nature. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth 😕

 

[pepsimaxrock]

I've lent mine only once in 7 years - that was for a yardmate to take her horse to hospital.

 

[tatty_v]

Did you find your brave pants op? For what's it's worth I have had some people blatantly taking the pee pee and advantage of my generous nature. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth 😕

I’m almost ready to have the conversation! 😬 Luckily I had a lesson booked today so I had a lovely trip out in my own trailer! Am anticipating further requests this week so I’ll have to tackle the issue then I think. This thread has been so helpful though in making me realise that it’s fine to say no!

 

[Jules111]

I made the mistake of offering a lift when I had a space in my box, I was going to the show anyway, had a space and offered a freebie lift. BIG MISTAKE, since that day I've been inundated with numerous requests from the same person seeking lifts to shows (nothing I was planning going to), also many lift requests from others on the yard. The person I gave the lift to is regularly heard advising people to ask Jules, she'd be happy to give you a lift. It's not a flipping taxi. I HATE transporting other people's horses. Would usually only do it in an emergency. No good deed goes unpunished

 

[Tiddlypom]

To add to the list of people taking the pee, I allowed a former neighbour to use my arena on an occasional basis, but strictly by prior appointment and as a favour (the access is right past the house and through the garden). I later heard that she was telling prospective liveries that while she had no arena, there was one over the road that was available for their use .

 

[Landcruiser]

I lent my old trailer a couple of times, to my YO who didn't have one. Her horse kicked crap out of it. She also broke the breakaway cable, but did replace that. I would never, ever, lend my new trailer to anyone, after that experience.

OP, your friend is taking the pee, in your shoes I'd certainly pull the plug and tell her you have become uncomfortable with lending it out, it was only ever going to be once or twice but now you have decided not to lend it going forward. You don't have to justify it or make excuses. If she's a good friend she'll understand. If not - no loss.

 

[ezililaur]

I would never lend my trailer to anyone. Not after I saw a horse kick the granny out of one at a show.

Someone on my yard was recently put out as I refused to let them borrow it just to practice loading their fruit loop horse.
I'd only ever transport someone's horse in an emergency or the odd ride that I was also going to. Only horses who I know travel well.
It cost me a lot of money and I waited a long time to get my trailer and car to tow it with.

Your friend is taking the absolute P.

 

[Esmae]

Someone asked me once if they could borrow my trailer for a season. I said yes as long as they insured it for full value against fire, theft or damage. Never heard from them again.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

I’m almost ready to have the conversation! 😬 Luckily I had a lesson booked today so I had a lovely trip out in my own trailer! Am anticipating further requests this week so I’ll have to tackle the issue then I think. This thread has been so helpful though in making me realise that it’s fine to say no!

Have you had the conversation yet? If so, hope it went ok x