Ah thanks, the ones inside the mag are better than the shot of me in rising trot, looks a bit odd! Yeah I'm sure you'd be able to get hold of back issues, you should give them a call, they may just charge you a bit extra but I'm sure you could get hold of them.
Yes you do hehe, you jump her really well, look at the pic in your sig! You just need to believe it and then keep taking her out to get your confidence back, just do what your comfortable with