Rant alert - 'They're being friendly' Grrrrr

T

tamsinkb

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 August 2005
Messages
853
Location
North Devon
Visit site
Please feel free to ignore me or tell me I am highly unreasonable, but after an incident walking my dogs today, I need to let off steam! I have 2 spaniels, one old boy who is disinterestedly friendly to other dogs, and year old, who has had a couple of bad experiences and is now very shy of other dogs - not fear aggressive as yet ( never say never) more fearful. Both are very obedient under normal circumstances, and will always came and sit by my legs if the feel the need. I took them to a local wood ( walking distance) and noticed a car parked by the gate ( nothing unusual, lots of people drive to this woods) As I entered the woods I saw in the distance a lady with 4 dogs walking slowly, so decided to take a different / longer path, hoping that she would have passed the cross over of the routes, before I reached it from the other direction - I should be so lucky! All the way I could hear her constantly calling and using her whistle to get the dogs back to her. As I approached the cross over, her dogs appeared and immediately rushed towards mine barking. The old boy stood wagging his tail and greeted them approx. 10m in front of me and the young dog who had come to sit by my legs. The owner had not even noticed us, until her dogs then rushed barking towards me. I spoke to her and said that my dog was shy..'They are only being friendly' was the response. I then asked her to call her dogs off as mine was being intimated by the 4 of them.....'but they are friendly' I had hold of my young dog and was reaching to put his slip lead on when one of hers mounted him, causing him to shoot off , her 4 then gave chase barking, at which point my young dog bolted. I shouted at the old dog to sit and stay and took off after the young one only catching up with him about 500m away where her was cowering behind a tree. I put him on his lead, and walked him back up the hill to where my old dog was waiting, but had to pass the other lady. As soon as her dogs saw us, they flew at my dog barking, with the owner ineffectually calling them from about 75m behind them. When they got to 5m away I squared up to them and told them firmly 'no' - that stopped 2 of them, the others continued, so I said louder 'go away' which stopped the other 2. It is at this point somethings happened that has made me fuming... the other lady shouted at me ' That was totally unnecessary ….they are only being friendly' - I had to ask to repeat herself as I was rather shocked - what with her having no control over them rushing, barking at a young dog they had already spooked and all! She then proceeded to lecture me that I should not have walked in the (Woodland Trust owned / open access) woods when I saw her car parked at the entrance and that I should feel very lucky that her dogs are so friendly, because some dogs wouldn't be so enthusiastic in greeting my dogs. Also I should be grateful that they had lagged behind to watch my old dog ( who was sat exactly where I left him) - I did point out here that she had no need to do that as he is both well mannered and well trained!


I did have a 10 minute sit down with both my dogs, mainly because I was angry, and a bit shaken - but also to give her enough time to plod back to her car, so I didn't have to meet up with her again....all the time she was constantly calling and whistling her dogs..

So.…..was I in the wrong?
 
Not at all, I have an (too) friendly young dog who is back on a long line for near enough the exact thing her dogs did. He runs towards other dogs barking and about 6-8ft away he turns off and runs hoping they will chase him. It’s not acceptable behaviour so we are back on intense recall training and making sure to avoid dogs we know are worried by him until I know he can practice some self control. I would be MORTIFIED if he did what those dogs did (he’s done it once and scared a cockapoo, I appolgosed profusely to the owner, made sure mine met hers calmly afterwards and it’s why he’s back on the long line)
 
No you were not in the wrong at all. I find myself raging whenever I walk in more populated areas (so tend to avoid them now) at the sheer number of people who have absolutely no control over their dogs and think it is fine because their dog is friendly! Grr!
 
Your being firm with the other lady's dogs was spot on imho, I would have done the same. She should have apologised, not had a go at you. I think some people come from parallel realities. I can't believe the number of people walking their dogs who are quite happy for them to jump up at me, let alone intimidate my dog, and when I say 'NO' the owner looks either cross or bewildered.
 
I would have been absolutely raging if I had been in your position, I walk 4 dogs all the time and I ALWAYS put them on a lead when we meet another dog because for any dog, however well adjusted and confident, meeting 4 dogs on a walk can be intimidating!

Unfortunately I have a very very low tolerance level for other people's badly behaved dogs, and I'm afraid any dog who mounted one of my dogs would have got a sharp boot up the backside from me! I would also have given her clear and concise feedback on her responsibilities for maintaining control of her dogs.... !!!
 
No you were not unreasonable. I am absolutely fed up of meeting badly behaved dogs with ineffectual owners when we are walking the Rottweilers. Honestly, if they haven't got the gumption to control their dogs around the Rotters, I don't suppose there's any chance of them ever controlling them. In fact, the girls are very friendly but even so... why would you let your dog run up to them to find out?.

I would ring the dog-warden and if you know it, give them the registration number of the car this idiot woman was using. Dogs should be under control when they are out and about. Does the Woodland Trust have any regulations about walking dogs on leads, or under close control, that you know of. If so, I would contact them too.
 
Thanks for the reassurances - When I got home I relayed the story to my OH and he said he would booted them at best... what angers me is that she did not recognise that her dogs were causing the problem...if she had apologised at any stage I would have shrugged it off , being the calm and forgiving person I normally am, but it's not a good ting to pee me off!
 
Pearlsasinger said:
No you were not unreasonable. I am absolutely fed up of meeting badly behaved dogs with ineffectual owners when we are walking the Rottweilers. Honestly, if they haven't got the gumption to control their dogs around the Rotters, I don't suppose there's any chance of them ever controlling them. In fact, the girls are very friendly but even so... why would you let your dog run up to them to find out?.

I would ring the dog-warden and if you know it, give them the registration number of the car this idiot woman was using. Dogs should be under control when they are out and about. Does the Woodland Trust have any regulations about walking dogs on leads, or under close control, that you know of. If so, I would contact them too.
Click to expand...

I can do better than that - she told me where she lives, in am attempt to tell me she is more 'local' than me....she does live a bit closer to said woods, but obviously can't walk to woods - whether it's too far or she can't control her dogs on the road is open to debate!
 
90% of the time I never see another soul when I’m walking the dogs but there’s a couple that I’ve started seeing more frequently that have three ridgebacks and a small terrier. The ridgebacks aren’t aggressive but the owners have ZERO control and they charge as a pack at other dogs. I avoid them like the plague.

One day last week I had three loose dogs on the trot. Weather was nice so loads of people out. Stupid bloke with the terrier had the nerve to say “if he gets bitten it’s his own fault”. Not it’s not, it’s your fault you idiot for allowing your dog to run straight into the middle of three strange dogs!!

Some days I’m more tolerant than others and just tut and shake my head. Other days I have a full on “CAN YOU COME AND CONTROL YOUR DOG(S) PLEASE”!!!

Sounds like you did the right thing. It’s a massive worry when your dogs are getting older though isn’t it. You feel their vulnerability more
 
She was using her address as one upmanship?! What kind of an idiot is she? I’ve had similar with an idiot untrained dog rushing up to Jake when he was recovering from a snapped cruciale. She reckoned she’d been walking in the woods longer than me. Funny, when her dog was younger than mine. Regardless, you were super polite, I would also have booted her dogs. Or maybe let Zak rip, although I’m not fond of werewolf attacks being reported.

I’m genuinely surprised that some people STILL don’t know the bog standard unwritten rule that you don’t let your dog bounce up to an unknown dog. It hugely frustrates me that my dog would get the blame for defending himself in any similar incident. Sounds like the woman needs to teach a solid recall.
 
Echo calling dog warden.

Today, as per every Monday, I was walking my little dog in the town park whilst on lunch break from my office. Met up with a friend part way so had a natter while pootling along and little one on lead beside me.
2 dogs came bouncing up, so I called to owner to call them back please. She didn't.
Again I called, then shouted as one was bouncing on my dog on and off trying to play.
Owner now closer told me to stop being stupid in over reacting as her dogs only wanted to play.
Now I'm angry as dog 2 put paws up on my tidy suit trousers and I firmly said to get dogs under control. She gives me a gobful! I restrain myself from booting either dog...

Quiet friend then steps in and advises woman about dogs to be under control in public place, whilst slipping leads from his pocket and popping onto dogs, moving them away a little. Woman goes ballistic, he calmly tells her who he is, what job he does and I left him taking her details while a couple of onlookers took interest.

V glad dog warden occasionally patrols this big park, but it's so unnecessary that the dog owner was such a rude, self entitled cow :mad3: (the dogs were small, cute but rude as untrained). Am keen to find outcome, hope to find out tomorrow!
 
Your not in the wrong at all the woman is a bloody idiot I have a dog that is nervous of big dogs that are boisterous and she will bolt if really scared so I know exactly how you feel, I would report her to the dog warden it's just bad manners to just allow big unruly dogs to intimidate other people's dogs.
 
you are right to be annoyed. i have an extremely friendly little terrier who loves all other dogs and when i am out and he is off lead i am looking out for other dogs all of the time, i know lots of the local dog walkers and know which dogs love to play with mine and which dont, so i take action accordingly. he always goes on the lead if i see someone else with theirs on the lead as well...i met someone the other day who has a rescue dog(that she hasnt had long) and it was playing with mine but then got a bit rough and biting him on the back of the neck. i said thats enough now and called my dog the woman then got all huffy and stormed off...she now blanks me and takes her dog the opposite way to me...im happy with that...
 
Can totally understand the having to sit down for ten minutes afterwards! I'm quite shy and hate conflict, but since getting a dog have had to be come more willing to tackle other people. Joe is big (31" to shoulder), wears a muzzle and is nearly always on the lead, and usually looks quite alert and jumpy when he sees another dog, but people still let theirs come rushing up to him, even little packs of small yappers that yap around his heels! I just can't believe the way they ignore his very obvious signs of a) not being comfortable with other dogs and b) that he'd really quite like to catch the small ones and give them a damn good shake.
 
8
Pinkvboots said:
Your not in the wrong at all the woman is a bloody idiot I have a dog that is nervous of big dogs that are boisterous and she will bolt if really scared so I know exactly how you feel, I would report her to the dog warden it's just bad manners to just allow big unruly dogs to intimidate other people's dogs.
Click to expand...
Granted they were not 'big' dogs...no bigger than my springer they spooked, just much fatter and unable to keep up with him! But were out of control. ... they were effectively sticking 2 fingers up at the owner..... and we're really, really rural.....our nearest neighbours are over half a mile away. We have met probably 5 other people in the woods over the last 5 years. I have a suspicion she was totally embarrassed and became defensive....must ask around to see if this has happened before!
 
Today I was walking Mrs Spaniel with others, the local park is a large rectangle with pitches in the middle so visible at every point.
Two black GSD looking dogs bolted across one acre to get to us, with the owners calling that they were friendly, young and didn't know better. Upon reaching us, one had a snap at the cockerpoo I was with, who told him where to go. It could have ended badly except all three of us owners shouted at the dog and it lost its nerve and ran back.
The two dogs came back twice more at different parts of the rectangle, with the owners calling ineffectually and on the third attempt laughing at their failure to recall their dogs.
We were joined at a later lap by a friend with an entire male Labrador who bolted straight for the two dogs. Turned out one was a bitch on heat.....

I could weep in despair over some people's stupidity.
 
A bit odd that she was saying her dogs were just being friendly if they were all barking at your dogs ......she must be very dim to think friendly dogs bark at other dogs !
 
bonny said:
A bit odd that she was saying her dogs were just being friendly if they were all barking at your dogs ......she must be very dim to think friendly dogs bark at other dogs !
Click to expand...

It depends on the dog and the bark, my incredibly friendly younger dog barks and growls when trying to get other dogs to play....then again he’s a very stupid sighthound. I do recognise other owners and dogs may not ‘get’ him which is why he’s a) on a long line until his recall is back on track and b) only allowed to stay off around dogs who understand just how stupid but lovely he is.
 
Annette4 said:
It depends on the dog and the bark, my incredibly friendly younger dog barks and growls when trying to get other dogs to play....then again he’s a very stupid sighthound. I do recognise other owners and dogs may not ‘get’ him which is why he’s a) on a long line until his recall is back on track and b) only allowed to stay off around dogs who understand just how stupid but lovely he is.
Click to expand...
I'm sure the dogs were not aggressive per se, but they were acting as a pack, and the owner certainly wasn't the leader of that pack... But that was obviously my fault 🤔
 
tamsinkb said:
I'm sure the dogs were not aggressive per se, but they were acting as a pack, and the owner certainly wasn't the leader of that pack... But that was obviously my fault ��
Click to expand...

I said in my first reply that it’s in no way ok and her attitude stinks, not your fault at all. I have been that owner, I apologised profusely to the owner and I am taking steps to address my dogs behaviour which is what this woman should be doing. I was simply saying that barking doesn’t equal aggression.
 
Annette4 said:
I said in my first reply that it’s in no way ok and her attitude stinks, not your fault at all. I have been that owner, I apologised profusely to the owner and I am taking steps to address my dogs behaviour which is what this woman should be doing. I was simply saying that barking doesn’t equal aggression.
Click to expand...

I totally agree and I didn't mean to sound snitty...there is a difference between aggressive barking and excited barking, just that these dogs, friendly or not were in a pack mentality and the owner was right at the bottom of the pack! They had no respect for her, and I suspect she knew it! I did say to her that even if they were friendly, they were still scaring my dog, so please could she control them.... sadly, she couldn't.
 
We have no problems buying leads, they sell them all over, you can even get them on the internet, so I wonder why so many people seem to be unable to keep one with them when they are walking their dogs? (We have one locally that allows her three dogs to run in our fields with stock, while she walks on the footpth in a neighbouring field, then letting them run on the 40 mph road with no pavement, does not seem to own a lead or be able to control the dogs without them!)
 
'they are only being friendly'- the comment that makes me cross instantly! I usually reply 'I don't care if they're happy, sleepy, grumpy of any of the effing 7 dwarves, they're bothering my dog'

I'm often tempted to give the owner the mother of all wedgies-because I'm being friendly!
 
paisley said:
'they are only being friendly'- the comment that makes me cross instantly! I usually reply 'I don't care if they're happy, sleepy, grumpy of any of the effing 7 dwarves, they're bothering my dog'

I'm often tempted to give the owner the mother of all wedgies-because I'm being friendly!
Click to expand...

LOL!
I am so glad we don't see many toher dogs on our walks, and the ones we do see are under control. There is only one black lab bitch that is nasty and if we see her coming we take immediate evasive action.
 
It’s actually the attitude of the owner that can make all the difference. I’m sure we’ve all had a dog do something embarrassing at some point, including ignoring our calls and running up to another dog or person and an apology can go such a long way. It’s the entitled, arrogant owner who blames everyone but themselves that get up my nose.
 
WorkingGSD said:
It’s actually the attitude of the owner that can make all the difference. I’m sure we’ve all had a dog do something embarrassing at some point, including ignoring our calls and running up to another dog or person and an apology can go such a long way. It’s the entitled, arrogant owner who blames everyone but themselves that get up my nose.
Click to expand...



I couldn't have put it better - If a word of apology had been uttered I would have shrugged it off, but the other dog walker had a go at me and lectured me on where I should walk!!
 
Clodagh said:
I would have gone ballistic and booted her dogs, I really would - and have done before.
Click to expand...

Same here.

The amount of people who think it's OK for their little dogs to run up and pester my (sometimes) reactive Staffie for ages (presumably because he looks like he can take care of himself) really pisses me off, because if it was the other way round I'd probably get reported.
 
My dog got rushed by three separate dogs on one walk last week. All labs.
He is neutral to other dogs, just wants to carry his ball, but if they get in his face, he will tell them to ****** off (whilst still holding ball).

Dog one was a big dope who just wanted to play with the snarling bogbrush and crossed a brave distance to do so.
Owner was hugely apologetic and out of breath and I made a joke about labs being crap at body language and no harm done.

Dog 2 was a bit less dopey but still came right up his backside. Owner said sorry and I did my joke again and no harm done.

Dog 3 is a repeat offender, very nasty, runs in a pack, sometimes muzzled, never on lead, appears to be called RUPERTRUPERTRUPERT but for some reason never responds. Have tried humour, sarcasm (YOU'RE WELCOME), roaring at him (which works) and suggesting to owner that she maybe try that.
My dog was yet again left with slobber all over him and I yet again was left on my own trying to prevent two large dogs from getting into a fight.
I have never received so much as an 'oops' 'sorry' 'thanks' or anything.

The other dog which has stopped me walking before work in the mornings is exercised by a 'trainer' who is usually too busy drinking coffee or on her phone to notice that the huge Rott cross with no recall was charging towards my dog before intellectually calling his name, which again he does not acknowledge.
The one time we actually stopped to talk she threw bits of hotdog at my dog and said that would be a positive association for him (after about five incidents).and that her charge was 'a rescue'.
My dog was in avoidance and wasn't even looking, hers was eyeballing mine, ears forward, tail over back.
I just smiled and nodded.

That's all lovely of course and I did call the dog warden after one incident but decided it was wasn't worth putting my dog or my own safety at risk and just give it a swerve.
 
OP, I think you were very restrained, you need to practise :)

I won't go into what I think of people who let their dog run up to my dog and it would take too long to tell you all the stupid things they say but a couple of recent examples said to me when a puppy was allowed to come and yap and harass my dog "I am socialising him" and, same bloke when I pointed the flaws in that approach to socialisation "It's okay, I know you have your dog under control" - Oh, well that's all right then! Another beauty, referring to their dog, "He needs to be taught a lesson". Not by my dog he doesn't, mate.

Unfortunately these stupid people do not have enough brain cells to consider the consequences of allowing their dog to run up to another dog, which is in itself very rude dog behaviour.

A dog I used to see occasionally was put to sleep recently. She had a history of attacking other dogs badly enough to need vet treatment. Eventually (not a snappy decision) the owners realised she needed to be kept on a leash and initially she was muzzled. I don't know why, but the muzzle was abandoned. Any dog who was in her space was at risk but there were plenty who allowed their dogs to run into her.

I had seen her in action in her pre-leash days. I felt her behaviour was predatory. She would run and attack another dog without any provocation, silently, seemingly randomly, but with intent. I always gave them a very wide birth and kept my dogs close.

Unfortunately things ended badly (this could be another thread in itself). She was on leash and pulled her owner towards another on leash dog which she then attacked, the owner was unable to disengage her from the victim which she shook and flung about until it was scalped down neck and back and sustained oesophageal damage. This resulted in surgery and 2 weeks hospitalisation, firstly at their own vet and then transferred to a specialist vet. It was lucky not to be killed or die of fright.

Result: Injured and traumatised victim, £5,500 vet bill and aggressor PTS. Not a good outcome for anybody.

The point I am making is that these idiots who yell "it's okay, he's friendly" could be allowing their dog to run up to a dog just like her.

I never thought her parentage was a good mix but somebody obviously did. Giant Schnauzer X Black Russian Terrier. (potential for another thread re ill advised breeding)

Incidentally, when I next saw the victim she started barking at my dog. The owners told her off and yanked at the lead. I said please don't do that and had to explain she was barking because she was now anxious and that telling her off was not a good idea. I despair.

I like YorksG's comment about dog leads. A GR was a complete nuisance one day, owner unable to recall insisting it was friendly. I had to suggest to her that a lead was a good idea in these situations but she did take that snippet on board and next time I saw her she had a lead. Why would you take a dog out without one? Obviously straight out of the car into the car park, unrestrained, no control = recipe for disaster.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top