Ready to give up?!?!?!

[Binyanis9]

Hi all!

I was just wondering if any of you experienced riders could please offer some advice or tips before I lose the will to live...

I've loved horses all of my life though having non horsey parents, I never owned or really rode. I had a lesson once in a blue moon and learned the basics. Fast forward 20 years and I was old enough to buy my own horse, starting completely from scratch basically. I've owned my horse for about 3 years now and I sort of feel like I've not really learned an awful lot in the riding department, despite trying really, really hard! I accept that we've had set backs (dodgey saddles, bad back and rider injuries resulting in time off) though it just feels like I'm stuck in a rut and I'm so ready to move forward and progress but I'm just not getting it! I've been learning to canter for about 2 years and just feel like I'm never going to get there and it's never going to click. Some days are good and I feel positive but overall it's taking a significant amount of time to take just 1 step forward. I totally accept that it's going to take time and I have to be patient, however, I have no idea how to improve or how to build my horses' strength. In dressage, my feedback is always about my horses suppleness and how he could bend better and just be more 'supple' in corners. I know what they mean but I just have no idea how to work on it! It's like a mindfield - simply googling 'encouraging horse to work from behind' just opens a whole different can of worms and vocabulary I'm not familiar with.

I understand what I need to work on, it's how to do it. So my questions are...

1) What can you do to encourage your horse to work from behind? In lunge and when ridden. All of the terminology I find on the internet just blows my mind and makes no sense to me.

2) Tips for encouraging the horse not to 'fall in' when cantering and when trotting?

3) Any not too complicated schooling exercises to essentially encourage my horse to be more supple and bend more?

I may be over complicating things but reading things like 'use on off pressure with inside leg and do this with the outside leg' just confuses me.

I need someone to explain it to me like I'm a dummy!!

Thanks for reading this far and I really, REALLY appreciate any help!!!

Thank you!! 😁😁

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

There's one simple answer to all of your questions; find a good instructor / trainer. Someone who helps you prepare for tests and then goes through the sheet after with you and helps you work on the feedback.

If you can let us know which area you are in maybe we can suggest someone.

 

[BlackRider]

Echo the above, get a good instructor, and also try some lessons on a technical horse too, then you can work on your position / balance,

 

[D66]

Are you on a yard with facilities?
As O&L says you need an instructor. It is usual to have riding lessons so you can walk, trot, canter and jump before you get your own horse. You might have to go back a step in order to move forward.

 

[Wheresthehoofpick]

I agree to the instructor comments. Also consider having lessons on a real school master - the posher and more advanced the better. If you can feel how it is supposed to be it’s much easier.

 

[Shay]

And again. If you get a good istructor and have a lesson most weeks you'll make fantastic progress. I know its expensive (and you might have to try a couple of instructors before you find one that really helps) but once you have the difference is amazing.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Another here recommending finding a good instructor to help. I would also stay away from dressage tests until your instructor thinks you are ready, otherwise you risk just destroying your confidence and becoming more confused.

 

[honetpot]

When I was young I had no money for lessons, either as a child or later when I managed to get a horse on loan and I learnt how to ride properly from books.
Sometimes I knew in theory how to do something but no idea how to get it, but when I had a lessons when I could afford it I paid for really good lessons and knew when they were talking rubbish.
I was never a good rider, competent, but I am a good horse women, and as adults we can over think things in trying to get it right, when really a lot of the time sort of getting it right is OK. I am amazed when I see people who ride not really very well and they attempt things which they shouldn't, IMO, but they do, and nothing bad happens.

If you want to enjoy riding do not aim for perfection, like everything in life that's never going to happen. Actually owning your own horse can be constricting, you are stuck with the same problem to solve every time you ride, both you and the horse never get time off. If I was you I would invest in lessons on a schoolmaster, so the pressure is off you, the horse knows what to do and you get a feel, and also lessons on the lunge. I was very lucky in that I found a FBHS who had GP schoolmasters so I got to feel things that I would never achieved on my horse. Try not to compare yourself others, we are all different and perhaps competeing is making your anxiety worse. I had no pretensions about my riding, I sit on them, I am long past caring what others think of me, and I know my faults, but if you can enjoy a hack safely, and the horse carries you willingly, there is simple enjoyment in that

 

[Cortez]

This is what riding instructors are for.

 

[blitznbobs]

Did you learn to read without someone to teach you? Or drive or add up etc? Riding is complicated both physically and mentally and even the great and the good need a lot of help - even just someone knowledgeable on the ground to give you feedback from a different angle is a huge help... you don’t say a lot about your horse - does he / she know their job or is this a case of the blind leading the blind? What I have learnt is there are no (very few) self taught riders who are any good - just like there aren’t many mathematicians who are wholly self taught you need good basics to move forward and if you’ve never had this grounding you probably won’t succeed - get a good instructor to teach you the basics and your riding will progress so much faster

 

[vmac66]

As above find yourself a good instructor. Its taken me a while to find the right one.
My mare had no idea about working from behind and I didn't know how to teach her. Found the right instructor last October and have been having a lesson a fortnight over the winter. My mare is getting the idea and will have a play about with it when I'm riding. It's fleeting atcthe moment but its there.

 

[Sugarplum Furry]

From what you say I think it might help if you go and find a good riding school with a sympathetic trainer and have a few lessons on a well trained horse. You can read up on the theory and have instructors explain it all to you but perhaps you need to feel and experience what you're aiming for? Then you can start to apply it to your own horse.

 

[Binyanis9]

Sorry, should have mentioned I have a good instructor and aim to have lessons weekly and I've been through a few instructors. My horse is an ex riding school horse and is very forgiving. I also attend regular pole clinics etc but it doesn't matter who is trying to explain something to me you can give me a perfect horse and explain all the terminology to me and I just literally cannot comprehend it, it blows my mind. I even had a lesson at a riding school and it's just the same, it's just not clicking. I'm definitely over complicating it and I just don't know how to put it in simpler terms. I can quite happily go on long rides out and school in walk and trot but when it comes to bending or circles or anything like that I just have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my legs or what signals etc I should be giving. Every time I research it as well all the explanations just mean nothing to me and I struggle to put it into practice. Thanks for the advice x

 

[Binyanis9]

This is what riding instructors are for.

Yeah I have a good instructor and I've been through a lot of instructors to find her. She even pulls her hair out when trying to explain things to me as I simply just don't understand. I just cannot put anything into practice and end up confusing the horse even though he's an ex riding school and very forgiving!

 

[blitznbobs]

So can you comprehend kick for go pull for stop? And left rein right leg to turn left and right rein left leg to turn right? What do you mean you can’t canter? You
Literally can’t get any horse to canter or you can’t get a forward off the forehand bouncy canter in a consistent contact ?

 

[RachaelJC]

I would probably get a few sessions on a mechanical horse. I had one today - my first time on a mechanical but have been riding since I was a young child, but I now have a five year old so want to make sure I'm riding correctly - and it was quite refreshing to focus solely on me and my position, aids, weight distribution, on a horse that was bolted to the floor so wouldn't move or do anything unless i gave an absolutely correct aid.

So I'd suggest some sessions on a mechanical horse until you understand the aids fully and can do it with your eyes closed, then move onto perhaps a schoolmaster which will again not give the movement you want until you give a correct aid. I know there are mechanical horses in London, Aberystwyth and Derby, and one at Harptbury College, so may be some travel but definitely worth it.

Whatever you do, don't give up! Your body just needs to get some muscle memory and form habits of asking for canter.

 

[honetpot]

Sorry, should have mentioned I have a good instructor and aim to have lessons weekly and I've been through a few instructors. My horse is an ex riding school horse and is very forgiving. I also attend regular pole clinics etc but it doesn't matter who is trying to explain something to me you can give me a perfect horse and explain all the terminology to me and I just literally cannot comprehend it, it blows my mind. I even had a lesson at a riding school and it's just the same, it's just not clicking. I'm definitely over complicating it and I just don't know how to put it in simpler terms. I can quite happily go on long rides out and school in walk and trot but when it comes to bending or circles or anything like that I just have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my legs or what signals etc I should be giving. Every time I research it as well all the explanations just mean nothing to me and I struggle to put it into practice. Thanks for the advice x

You sound as if you have a form of dyslexia. I always thought being dyslexic was an inability to read, but it covers a whole load of other things, before I learn anything new I have to have a picture in my mind. Perhaps you need someone who doesn't tell you what to do, my mind would just goes into free fall, and I would have to have any test read but has varying methods of getting someone to understand. Someone who teaches children often is better, because of course as an adult you are supposed to know and understand after you have been told once. I can not even read back a telephone number unless its presented in a certain way.

Circles to horses are boring and if you have an ex riding school horse it will have years of perfecting the art of doing things with the least possible effort, going round corners like a plank, throwing people on the easy diagonal, and generally sticking its fingers in its ears when asked to make an effort. It would be hard work for even an experienced rider, but it would not look hard work if you are watching on the ground. I am a great cup half full person, and making the best of what you have and with horses sometimes you just have to give yourselves a break, its supposed to be fun and if its not you will want to give up.

 

[MyBoyChe]

You say you have a good instructor, but if you cant understand what they are telling you, then you need to find one who can explain in terms that you can understand. One day, it will all just click for you x

 

[Nudibranch]

I don't know how much hacking you do but it might be worth spending some of your time just riding out. Use hills to build strength in your horse and do basic schooling moves as you go...shoulder in and so on, which are easy without an arena.
It sounds like you just need to develop your feel and timing more and it's a good way of occupying both your minds without piling on the pressure.

 

[sjp1]

One of the best riders I know has never ever had a lesson in his life. He hunts horses I wouldn't particularly fancy even getting on but he has timing, feel and an instinct. It isn't all about lessons - sometimes just getting on and hacking helps. I don't think getting too hooked up on particular moves is helpful - unless that is of course what you want to do - sometimes just hacking out and finding out the problems you have helps an instructor help you and helps you understand what you need or want to learn.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

If you were to put an obstacle near the corner of your school, just inside the track, what would happen if you trotted round the school, with the intention of going between the obstacle and the arena fence? Can you imagine/feel now what you would need to do to make sure that your horse didn't run over the obstacle or go inside it? Would you be able to do the same if the obstacle wasn't there? Very often riding is as much in the mind as it is in the hands and legs.

Have you read Mary Wanless' 'Ride with your mind'?, that might help you to understand what instructors are trying to explain to you

 

[Skib]

Different people learn in different ways. You are probably not the only one to whom verbal instructions mean little and can be a hindrance. Some people learn easily tho through imitation - I had a VHS tape of Pippa Funnell training horses - much of which meant little to me as a beginner but I picked up from her. If a horse was tricky out hacking my RI would say, Time for your Pippa Funnel act and the funny thing was that it worked. One can do exactly the same watching other people have lessons - or compete. On the ground I think the horses truly thought I was the male trainers I was imitating.
Apart from the look and attitude when mimicking there is your communication with horses. You can learn a lot by simply sitting easy and feeling the movement of the horse - sense through your seat where each foot is and how the horse is moving and the horse will soon start to feel you back. Horses dont use words. They use gesture and touch.
To get this feel, I would recommend going for long slow hacks with a group, and lunge lessons where you can develop your balance and feel for the horses under you. Get sitting trot right and easy.
As for the canter- forget it for now. Lots of people (adults) take more than three years and it does no harm to be a later canterer. Canter isnt compulsory.

 

[Binyanis9]

Thanks all for you advice and comments! They've all been very insightful and I will definitely be using the tips moving forward. I think my problem is over complicating things. The advice about using cones in the school and having a lesson on a mechanical horse have interested me massively - I will definitely be looking into this! Thanks again all for taking the time to reply your comments are appreciated

 

[asmp]

Have a look at the book '101 Schooling excercises for horse and rider' for some helpful ideas. You may be able to get it from your local library.

 

[Caol Ila]

Have a look at the book '101 Schooling excercises for horse and rider' for some helpful ideas. You may be able to get it from your local library.

You can also download it on Kindle and you have a Kindle app for your phone, it's always with you when you're bored or stuck in a schooling session.

 

[Binyanis9]

You can also download it on Kindle and you have a Kindle app for your phone, it's always with you when you're bored or stuck in a schooling session.

I will have a look for this, thank you! X

 

[Equi]

I completely feel your pain, i have been riding for most of my life, but i was only in lessons until 11 at a low grade school. I left knowing how to w/t/c with little real ability bar i didn't fall off. I got my own pony then horses but i had no school and only ever really happy hacked. Three years ago when i was horseless i went back to lessons and i was quite shocked at how much i didn't know and my teacher had to teach me almost like a child, which was hard cause i was an adult who should have known what a "half halt" was. My nerves did not help me and i struggled to canter a lot. When i got my own horse again, i continued lessons and it really did take me a good year or more for me to say i was able to actually canter correctly. Now in a new yard, ive come on even more with turning and balance etc cause my instructor is able to teach me this..but my horse is also happier and more able due to the surface and size of the arena.

My instructor sometimes has to physically move me into the position she wants me to be in when im asking something, so that my body remembers it over my head. Shes had me get off the horse too to show me something on the ground or make me so certain movements/stretches. That helps. Sometimes we work on the horse, sometimes we work on ME. What also helps me to be honest is that my horse is not a riding school horse. I think sometimes while they are good for someone who is learning and very forgiving, i don't think they (some of them anyway) are very good for progressing unless the rider is experienced enough to make them do what they are meant to. Riding horses are used a lot, and get very used to energy saving thus they don't quit use themselves right. Would you or your instructor be happy for him to get ridden lessons too? If he knows what he has to do and gets built up to do it, it will be easier for him to do it with you asking.

I often found sometimes that if i got into my mind i was working on the horse not myself, i would ride a little better. If im trying to work on me and my horse at the same time, its just too much to get right. Pick your battles! If you get your horse to do something but at the time you were a total sack of spuds, thats ok...you learned how to make the horse do something! Vise versa, if you were able to make yourself move a certain way, but your horse had his head in the air and was going sideways not straight, thats okay too. You learned! Eventually it all comes together.

Dont stress yourself out so much, it will all be okay