Really disappointed

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Pidge

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At the risk of being hung drawn and quartered for continuing the debate I would just like to say that I am really disappointed at some of the personal insults flying round the forum at the moment. I have read most of the posts that have kicked off over the weekend and before. If you don't agree with something, if you can not post constructively with no personal comments then please don't post at all. With this not being RL people are not always aware of what is happening in RL which can affect how people react on here. Can this please stop as it is not a place that is nice to be at the moment. As others have said it is very easy to misinterpret the tone of posts on here due to it being words. There are so many on here with such good advice it would be a crying shame if people either left or felt that they were unable to post for fear of being shot down in flames.
I have been a member for some time here and really appreciate the invaluable advice that is given out. Quite often it can be conflicting advice but then that is up to me to take it away digest it try it etc and come to my own conclusion. It is like having an extended meeting with lots of friends at one time and it is good to have advice when needed.
So that's my thoughts on this please can we all just take a deep deep breath and realise that this is not RL, and that in the global scheme of things there are far far more important things happening in people's life than this. Can we have HHO back to normal please?
 
I.m not sure that I agree that this is not a nice place to be at the moment, its the same as it always is. People disagree with each other, someone takes it personally, a few start losing their cool and then the dramatic "I'm leaving" posts start to appear. Same old same old.
 
i agree with JAQSZOO. IMO the "i'm leaving" posts are a bit attention seeking.
 
The sometimes heated discussions (lets call them that) dont bother me in the slightest. Why anyone would think that a horse forum is going to be love dovey with everyone getting on and being nice to each other is beyond me. Just visit pretty much any DIY yard and see the level of bitching that goes on in RL. Thats the horse world for you. Now add the safety net of only using the written word and not having to stand face to face with people and the bitching is bound to increase. Such is life.
 
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i agree with JAQSZOO. IMO the "i'm leaving" posts are a bit attention seeking.

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Thats what i was thinking.The only person i would expect to say this is the person that has been picked on in the posts, but no she has took it all on the chin, and for a young girl i think she is acting very grown up.
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I think most of us, who've posted enough, have been on the receiving end of less than desirable comments. I know I have several times in the past.

I must admit I do tend to go "quiet" for a while, but I soon return. I'm not as prolific a poster as I was before the whole "outing thread" some months ago, but I'm still here.

For every post that upsets or offends, there is generally several more that you either enjoy reading and participating in. Of course there's also those that you find genuinely informative. I have learned so much about horse care, both management and first aid, since I've been a member of HHO. As someone who keeps her horses at home, I view the forum as one giant yard filled with fellow liveries that I can turn to for some basic, and sometimes more indepth, advice.

It's all about balance and considering a happy medium. If I had 50 replies and only 1 or 2 agreed with the way I felt about a certain issue, whereas the rest thought I was doing something completely wrong....well.....I have to admit it would make me reconsider my thought processes. With all the wealth of experience and knowledge on this forum, from members who I particularly consider to know more than I can ever hope to know, I feel I'd be a fool to ignore their good advice.

I don't engage in arguments with people I strongly disagree with. There's no point. People don't know me personally, if I don't like what they've said I just ignore their comments.

As my mother used to say to me when I was growing up......rise above it! Everything blows over and is quickly forgotten about. Bearing grudges just breeds content and resentment. Not healthy for the forum and, more importantly, frowns form wrinkles!
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snap, when I have been down there has been an awful lot of support from people on here and I really do appreciate the advice given. It has certainly helped me get through some sticky times. It just upsets me a bit with all this aggro going on
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when this is such a good place to be
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I have had some wonderful advice from the forum. Sometimes it confirms what I was thinking, sometimes it gives me a fresh view point. The great thing about advice is that you dont have to take it, the choice is yours.

As far as bitchy comments go, I can't say I read threads that go a bit 'silly' - that said I do enjoy a good debate, perhaps its an age thing.

In my job I deal with peole who don't like what I have got to say and I regularly get sworn at, shouted at have my professional competency brought into question. However I don't think anyonehas ever been unpleasant directly to me on this forum. I would suggest that every one should treat everyone else with respect and that reosrting to bitchiness is a sign of a weak insecure person.
 
Do you know, I came back on here this morning specifically to ask admin to stop my account.
I don't feel that my leaving is in any way attention seeking, I am upset at the personal comments, and people who i thought better of.
Quite frankly I expected more of Tia, I do not remember throwing personal insults at anyone last night. But I did feel personal insults were thrown at me. I did not accuse anyone who didnt agree with me of being a 'muppet'.
I didnt expect more from weezy, who told me to leave, as that's just normal.
The people I have called bullies (and I have not named names as I do not feel it would be of benefit to anyone), have been called so because of their behaviour in this forum. Everyone has a right to an opinion but these three feel that they are the best at everything and somehow 'run the show'. Anyone who doesnt fit in with their ideas is snubbed or picked on. And anyone who hasnt seen that going on is either blind or has a life and doesnt spend enough time on here
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so, no, I am not about to flounce off. That's not my style. But i won't be back on here. Simply because I cannot stand bullies and won't be a part of something which allows this behaviour to go on.
Oh, and I don't need to log into my account to find personal insults being thrown at me. I have other forums to go to, wher bitching doesnt occur,and they don't feel the need to pick on kids, and those that stick up for them get forever bitched about.

I do hope that people on here who have made others lives a misery (buisnesses ruined, relationships wrecked etc etc) feel really good about themselves. And I hope oneday that these people will be seen for what they really are.
 
I rarely involve myself in threads that turn "nasty". I sometimes read them, but not that often.

I have found as the forum has evolved over the last couple of years, that I'm far more selective in what I read and what I choose to completely ignore. I don't let the dark side (so to speak) get to me so much these days.

Been around the forum long enough to know that there will always be people who cannot agree to disagree and heated debates. Mud slinging will most definitely be on the menu daily.
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Get a grip Katy, I said if you do not like the forum then I suggest you take your browsing time elsewhere - I have said that to MANY people over the years, it is not fair to sit bitching about the forum, if you do not like it then don't come on, it isn't rocket science! I am passionate about this forum running as smoothly as possible, so that is why I said that, not only to you believe me!

Anyway, I do hope you have a better time on the other forums you peruse, I certainly have no hard feelings towards you.
 
Katy, I've been in a similar position to you on a number of times with various threads during my two years on here. I've never had issue with the members you refer to though. Personally I consider both of them to be "forum friends" of mine. I've never met either of them and I'm not in any "clique" with them. I don't always share their views either. However, I really am fond of both of them and would like to think I'd get on with them both in real life, if ever we were to meet. It's very easy to read more into what people type than they actually intended. I've been guilty of that in the past. I discovered I have a very paranoid personality!
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Don't leave, if you don't like certain members, then ignore them. Take it with a pinch of salt. I've never really truly believed that people can be bullied, per se, via internet media. When I was bullied at school it involved me being frightened, scared and physically abused. Pretty sure the members on here aren't Stretch Armstrong and therefore can't actually "hurt" you.

Remember sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.
 
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Katy, I've been in a similar position to you on a number of times with various threads during my two years on here. I've never had issue with the members you refer to though. Personally I consider both of them to be "forum friends" of mine. I've never met either of them and I'm not in any "clique" with them. I don't always share their views either. It's very easy to read more into what people type than they actually intended. I've been guilty of that in the past. I discovered I have a very paranoid personality!
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Don't leave, if you don't like certain members, then ignore them. Take it with a pinch of salt. I've never really truly believed that people can be bullied, per se, via internet media. When I was bullied at school it involved me being frightened, scared and physically abused. Pretty sure the members on here aren't Stretch Armstrong and therefore can't actually "hurt" you.

Remember sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.

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I don't believe that these people are a clique. And I have never had an issue with these two members before, but what they said to me really did hurt my feelings.
 
I don't know what they "said" as I clearly haven't read the threads in question. Furthermore, I doubt I'd be interested in tit-for-tat comments.

I have my feelings upset on a regular basis Katy, both in real life and on forums. It's part of life and maybe it's more a reflection of a weakness in your character to be too sensitive, than it is a flaw in their characters to be seen by you as overly aggressive?

I don't know.....as I said, I've not actually read the thread which you've been upset by. It will all blow over and I'm 100% certain that neither of the two posters you mention would ever hold a grudge against you. Each post is taken on it's own merit, regardless of who made it.
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Katy, rather than leave just hit the ignore button & carry on with the forum. if someone upsets you it is the best thing to do until you feel calm enough about the whole thing.

i have had comments that i didn't like in the past & i was upset etc over them, but when i had a chance to calm down & think about it i was fine.



i have no issues with anyone & tend to just muddle along here
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Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
In my mind this really is silly - there's no point in this at all. I have to agree with Weezy - if you want to go, then just go dont stay and tell everyone about it before you go lol that just makes it look like you are doing it for effect.
eg: Argue with OH, flounce back into room
"Im leaving!"
when really if you were that annoyed/serious you would have just gone without saying anything!
 
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i agree with JAQSZOO. IMO the "i'm leaving" posts are a bit attention seeking.

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Thats what i was thinking.The only person i would expect to say this is the person that has been picked on in the posts, but no she has took it all on the chin, and for a young girl i think she is acting very grown up.
grin.gif


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*Round of applause*
I couldn't agree more - well said!
 
QR: When a "I am leaving post" gets put up, wouldnt it be funny if someone just posted "Go on then" lol

Hb
 
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i agree with JAQSZOO. IMO the "i'm leaving" posts are a bit attention seeking.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats what i was thinking.The only person i would expect to say this is the person that has been picked on in the posts, but no she has took it all on the chin, and for a young girl i think she is acting very grown up.
grin.gif


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*Round of applause*
I couldn't agree more - well said!

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One thing to mention - she actually isn't being mentioned in posts now - it's a random pickathon....
 
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i agree with JAQSZOO. IMO the "i'm leaving" posts are a bit attention seeking.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats what i was thinking.The only person i would expect to say this is the person that has been picked on in the posts, but no she has took it all on the chin, and for a young girl i think she is acting very grown up.
grin.gif


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*Round of applause*
I couldn't agree more - well said!

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One thing to mention - she actually isn't being mentioned in posts now - it's a random pickathon....

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precisely! Emotions got too OTT, and it's STILL becoming a pickathon, with new posts threads being made about it.
 
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