Really nervous- confidence issues

T

Toz

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Hi
I've been going to this new RS for the past number of weeks, and after trying to book for this term on the lesson I am currently on, I have been moved to a new one on a different day, with four hours of stable management before hand. I have never met the people there, only in my current lesson, and I am having serious confidence worries because you there is bound to be times for socialising... And I'm really rubbish at talking to people I don't know, and don't want my confidence issues getting in the way with my enjoyment of my only horsey time in the week.

So, five hours of horses in one week... Great!!!
However
Trust me to think of something to worry myself sick about!!!

Do you have any tips to help me with these issues?
Thanks for all positive and helpful comments :)
 
Talking to people you don't know when you like horses is easy - it's something we never get bored of talking about, so just ask people where they are from, how long have they ridden, talk about the horses you will be using, what their aims are, talk about things you've learned. Just keep asking questions and conversation will open up.

Heck you can even get away with talking about the weather with horsey folk - we're obsessed with it!
 
People usually want you to listen, not talk.

Say hello and introduce yourself. Stand up tall whist doing so, smile and make sure you at least breifly make eye contact.

Then ask questions if conversation flags.. Have a list to start with (simple things : where they're from, how long they've ridden, who their favorite horse is). Listen to what they've said, try to look interested and add bits in to show you've listened 'oo, you live close to me. I'm just in xxxxx' 'I've ridden him too. He's abit big/ small/fast etc for me. I prefer Xxxxx'. Try to say nice things if you can 'I saw you ride him. You ride him much better than me'. 'You've got a lovely jumping position' Nice people will say thanks and poss give a compliment back. Taking an interest in something that you find interesting is fairly easy!

You don't have, nor are you expected to, like everyone. Just be pleasant, sound interested, don't be a door mat (blindly agree with everything like an automon) and don't be confrontational or critial then everyone will go home thinking what a nice person you are.

Taking a box of biscuits to share at coffee time also helps ;)
Good luck. You'll enjoy it and will be absolutely fine with everyone.
 
Haha like the weather comment! Thanks so much JVB!

The biscuits idea is a good one, will consider that! Thanks for the list of comments, I'll try to remember those, Kallibear!

Thank you both :)
 
Will the other people in the lesson know each other, they could all be strangers too and feel the same way. It's always hard talking to new people but like the other posters say, horse chat is always a good start!

Good luck x
 
You will be fine, there is always something to talk about with horses, especially with other horse folk. I find it really hard with non horse people. When they politely ask about my horse. I have to decide whether to give the answer I want or a nice brief more appropriate one. I try to remember too look for their eyes glazing over or them falling asleep.

5 horse hours - bliss, have a great time
 
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