Really upset and after some advice

I am a little upset and was after some advice from you all.
It appears that some on the yard have been gossiping about Hovis and I and that a novice owner like me shouldn't have a young horse.
Apparently they feel I'm "ruining" him and that I'm going to end up with a badly schooled horse on my hands.
I'm really trying to get him out and about and show him new things, we've taken him to a couple of local SJ competitions and to see the local cross country course, he hacks out, schools, lunges and free lunges over jumps. He stands still to be mounted, loads onto anything and is generally really sane.
He's a 5 year old cylesdale cross so is still growing and I'd be the first to admit that his balance isn't great yet. He's responsive into paces but does sometimes rush - as if his feet are moving to fast (like a kid running down hill).
"Ruining" him just seemed a really harsh thing to say and has really upset me and worried me.
So what would you expect a 5 year old horse of his size and breeding (i.e he's not from great bloodlines bred to be an amazing jumper) to be able to do?
What do you do with your youngsters?
 
S

scotsmare

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Don't you just love the horsey world bitchiness! Don't get upset - half of them probably couldn't do a better job themselves. You're doing the right thing by showing him the world - far better to do it now before he's fully grown and fully fit. He's still learning as are you and you need to take it one day at a time. If the bitchiness doesn't improve either confront those doing it or consider moving yards. Horses are meant to be for fun and pleasure.
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Ignore the gossips. I've been on about 15 different yards in the 25 years I've had horses and they've all had one thing in common - gossips! Honestly people have nothing better to do. If you are a novice owner then I presume you are getting help from somewhere be it instructor/experienced friend and as long as you're all happy with how he's coming along don't worry about what anyone else says.
 
Don't listen to them, it sounds like you are giving him a great start to his grown up life.

All horses mature at their own pace, mine didn't really grow up until he was 7, and even now at age 9 we have the odd day of chaos!

Don't be worried, try to ignore them, they sound jealous that you have done all this and are producing a lovely horse for yourself to enjoy.
 
Honestly I know its harder to do than for me to say it , but ignore them !!!
I know how hard it is with b*tches at yards when you have a baby . I got Sol last year when she was an unbroken 3yo and the trouble ive had since is unbelievable .
I think he should be able to do what you require him for . Sounds like you are doing a fab job and you sound far from 'a novice thats ruining your horse '
I'm crap at giving advice sorry . But seriously try and ignore them and remember what a good job your doing .
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Some people make me so mad!
Don't listen to the rumours, it's just jealousy.
He is YOUR horse, it's up to you what you do with him. Sounds like you are doing a fab job with him, more than my 5 year old had done before I sold him
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But lets say you didn't want to do anything with him - that would be YOUR choice.
My pet hate is people that think horses are 'wasted'. It's up to the owner what to use them for. As long as they are well cared for and happy, it's no-one elses business what you do.
 
Don't you just love horse yads!! It's called jealousy, ignore them and get on and enjoy your pony. Easy to say i know but i have just moved yards due to constant negativity and it's the best thing i've ever done.
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Don't worry some people are jealous and spiteful.

Mine is 7 and is still learning lots as she didnt do much at all before i got her, i too have a lot to learn, but we are having a great time together. So just enjoy your horse and ignore the gossips, it just goes to show how insecure they are in themselves and how pathetic if they dont have the guts to say this to your face or offer advice where they think you are going wrong.
 
Don't listen to them, it sounds like you have been doing a fab job and they are probably just jealous! We have a five year old who is unbalanced and i think it is just a natural thing that should be expected from a baby! From what you have been doing it sounds like you are giving him a brilliant education!
 
Tell them to mind their own! Are you having any problems (ie reariong, bucking, napping etc?) If not then what on earth are they seeing that says you're runing him? What a load of b*llox! Horses take time to mature yes but the best way to bring on a young horse (IMO) is to get them out and about to experience new things which it sounds like you are doing as much as doing a bit of schooling etc. Just cos you haven't sent them off for professionaly schooling or don't spend every minute of the bloody day working the horse in a school does not mean anything. If you're happy with how your horse is then it is nobody else's business or concern!
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How nasty! I will admit, this was my fear when I got a horse, that people would think I was rubbish and shouldn't bother because I am a crap rider etc, etc due to all the gossip and negativity at the yard I loaned a horse.

So, I bought K and moved to a lovely yard with lovely people and everyone else can go jump. He is your horse and I would bet that they couldn't do much of a better job themselves. Absolutely smacks of jealousy. Ignore them or tell them to go f*** themselves.

Sorry, this kind of thing makes me MAD having been on the receiving end of it myself.
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As all the others have said, please ignore them - IMHO it is a combination of them being jealous, bitchy, and the fact that ALL horse owners think they know best on how to keep a horse, myself included
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It sounds to me that you are doing a great job (although I dont know much about youngsters
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) so just carry on doing what you are doing
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It is hard though, when I had my eventer I was always concious that I didn't ride him very well and he was probably wasted with me - but I loved him, loved riding him, and he didnt mind at all
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People love to gossip!

Sounds like there's a healthy dose of jealousy going on. Let me take a guess that there are a lot of older horses there that DON'T stand to be mounted, DON'T hack out sanely etc. Keep it up, it sounds like you're doing a great job and he's a lovely advert for your methods.
 
Ooh this makes me so cross. My advice treat it as utter foolishness on their part and probably jealousy too.

Its very hard but your best bet is to ignore the fact that it is being said. The person who fed the gossip back to you wants a swift cuff across the ear well-meaning 'helpful' friends can make life very painful for everyone as the only way malicious gossip spreads is by someone telling someone else.

If you say anything to counter their comments it feeds their maliciousness as it could look defensive. If you purposely ignore them you are descending to their level so you have to do the hardest thing of all.

Continue as you are and pretend noone has said anything to anyone. Their maliciousness is not something that should worry you but it should worry them as it is far harder to keep a good name than to keep a bad one and they have dug their little pit to live and you have not!!
 
God reading this post makes me glad I am not on a yard.

Like others have said, it is probably jealousy and my advice is do not let them dent your confidence and do try (I know this is difficult) to ignore them, they are probably jealous and a lot less knowledgable than they think they are.
 
Some people lead such dull little lives that they really have nothing better to do with their time than b*tch and gossip and criticise and poke their noses into other people's business.

Try not to let it get to you. Sounds to me as though you are doing a super job with your horse. If people offer actual advice, listen attentively, smile and thank them (some might genuinely be trying to help you, and they might genuinely have something helpful to say). But don't pay any attention to malicious gossip.

Hey - I bought an unbroken 4yo Arab stallion as my first horse! Imagine what the yard gossips and busybodies had to say about that! And for once they probably had a point LOL! But I got help from experienced people, and it all turned out fine. You sound infinitely more sensible than I ever was, and your horse sounds a lot more educated than most 5-year-olds.

If you are concerned about your boy's 'rushing' or whatever, have some lessons on him with a good instructor. But please don't worry - everyone started out as a 'novice owner', and you are clearly doing far better than most of us!
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unfortunately that is yards for you. Some people are not happy unless they are gossiping about someone!! Sounds like you are doing everything right with him his balance will come with time and dressage dont stress about it good luck with him tell the girls where they can stick their noses carry on and take some piccys for us!!!

I know how you feel and you need to rise above it!!
 
Ditto all these comments. Sounds like you have a lovely horse that you love and you are both learning as you go, there is nothing wrong with that, it is what half of us do after all.

Ignore them, keep doing what you are doing and keep loving and enjoying your boy.
 
Same as above. Ignore them or confront them. (Easier said than done, I know!)

Sounds like your boy is getting the best possible start. I wouldn't expect a 5 year old to be perfectly schooled, but he sounds safe and that's far more important than being 100% balanced through transitions. If it worries you, have some lessons on him, but I would think he'll develop with time.

Hey, I've had horses for 20 years, and I still get criticised on my yard. I take the view that as it's my own horse and I've had her for 12 years, that I know best
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How nasty, poor you, the people who are making these comments are probably just jealous, from what you've posted on here I think you are doing very well. Try not to let them upset you (hugs)
 
I would be thrilled if I had a large, still-growing 5-year-old and he stood to be mounted, lunged, hacked, loaded and behaved himself in strange places, and I had done all that myself. And if his only minor 'problem' was that he was a little unbalanced at times, which is actually quite normal for his age and size, then I would give myself a big pat on the back.

Well done, Sid sounds a credit to you! Keep up the good work. Perhaps you could sort out my home-bred 10-year old for me, who can still only manage half of the above and I am not a novice owner
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He sounds wonderful, and these are slow to mature horses, so he is bound to be unbalanced. Far better that he learns about the world and is safe and nice to be around than a neurotic who can do perfect half passes but chucks you under a bus. Have fun with him and when they get 'stuck' past the scary monsters offer them a lead from your super safe well mannered boy
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This sort of thing really gets me angry !!!

First he is your horse ill repeat YOUR HORSE
What you do or do not do with him is up to you ( Sounds like you doing a grand job)
He will not be sitting in his stable at night reading books and thinking ahh well if my mummy was more expreienced I could be doing this that or the other.
So in short carry on hold you head high and enjoy YOUR HORSE!!!!!
P.S I have two youngsters at the moment, one that will stay with me for life and he is 5 on Saturday and as yet has not jumped etc as I didnt want him to untill he was 5 this caused some bitching, but I just ignored them to be honest as he is MY HORSE and I will do as i see fit and as long as he is well cared for then that is all that matters imo
 
Take no notice at all. It sounds like you are giving him a good solid foundation for the future. If only people like this put as much energy into their own horses as they do bitching about others. ((rolls eyes))

I have to warn you it's probably not the end of it - you wait until he's ten, is nicely schooled and well mannered and the same people will be telling you you're "lucky" to have a horse like that, as if all the time and effort you've put in have nothing to do with it.
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I know it is hard but ignore them - as long as you enjoy your horse who cares what you do with him and what he is capable of. I was 30 when I bought my first horse (only ever had a couple of lessons) and I bought a 3 year old cob. I too was told he was wasted on me and that he would be better off with somebody more expreienced. But I persevered and I love my horse. I used to go home crying at some comments made but best thing I ever did was leave the yard and move on. I am now at a lovely smaller yard where the girls are lovely and love their own horses so much that they dont care what you are up to or what you can and can't do. If people comment like this its only cause they are jealous and I have learnt first hand experience of this!! 6 years on my horse if great and would not swop him for anything. I happy hack and am proud of it - that in itself is my great achievment.
 
Right i shall put my two penneths in!! I bought a horse from the place you bought Hovis from so have always read with interest how you and Hovis are getting on.
I admire you for your dedication and how you have brought this horse on, mainly because you have done what i have failed. I had to sell my youngster as he was too much for me. You are going out and enjoying Hovis and will have a great future together, dont let anyone tell you otherwise!
They are probably jealous that their horse isnt so unflappable.
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Thank you all for your kind comments.
I guess the issue is really that i have nothing to compare him to.
Most of the other horses on the yard are much much older and are already established. My instructor has young horses but they're showjumpers bred for purpose and broken quite young and quickly. They're also nutty as fruit cakes (she is a good rider though).
I've never had a young horse before so i don't know whats normal and whats not. Hubby is concerned that he is unbalanced and his paces aren't consistant but neither of us know what he should be capable of at his age and for his breed. If I compare him to my instructors horses he seems quite behind but he's a totally different breed and was broken later and brought on much more slowly so its hard to compare the two.
 
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