Really very angry...what do I do from here?

so_confused

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I am a regular user but posting under another name for anonymity.

I have been at my yard for 18 months and own a young horse who is due to be beginning backing next week. I have owned said horse since they were a weanling. I have never had a problem with manners, groundwork etc and granted, my horse has a very easy going temperament.

Since the beginning of this year, I have been fed back little stories by yard staff but nothing has been mentioned to me in person. I have always been strict with my horse as far as manners are concerned and any issues we've had (all minor) have never become a bigger problem. It came to a head earlier this year when I found out that a chifney was being used on my unbacked youngster.

I hit the roof. Absolutely no one had bothered to contact me to say whether there was an issue, or what my horse had done to warrant the use of a chifney. My YO put the blame on me saying that I needed to do more with him. I work 60-80 weeks and have my horse on part livery - due to my hours I cannot get up to the yard every day, it is impossible. I spoke to YO and said that if my horse was misbehaving I wanted to be told a)so I knew and was aware of what action they were taking and b) so I could correct any behaviour myself when there. By misbehaving I had it clarified that he was being skittery, and not rearing etc.

I was assured the chifney would be used if he needed, "putting back into his box." Fast forward to today. I have heard nothing since the incident, and although I ask for regular updates, I am told my horse is fine. I have made a point of telling all the staff to make sure they tell him off if he is naughty with them, and not to let him push them around. My friends and I are yet to encounter a problem with him in leading him to and from the field. If he tries anything on, he gets told off and then walks along quietly.

Today, friend went to turn them out (despite being on part) as she wanted to see what it was horses were alleged to have been doing. She gets there and they already have my horse in a chifney. She asks why and she is told, "that is just the way it is." No headcollar is under chifney. She puts headcollar on mine and hers and leads them to the field. Mine behaves in a way he never has before - head up in the air and fussing his mouth although he didn;t have a bit in. Long story short, she got them to the field just fine but rang me to share her concerns.

She has said that his mouth appears bruised from the chifney and he is frightened of what can only be described as "anticipated pain" and so has stuck his head in the air. When he realised there was no bit, he has calmed down. However, this is a horse I have introduced a bit to properly, who throughout groundwork has never been shy of the bit and now he is verging on being headshy. She spoke to a couple of the girls and they said on one occasion he got his tongue over the chifney - as I understand it, this should not happen if properly fitted. She has said that instead of people putting him back in his box and telling him off if he misbehaves, they are just resorting to putting a chifney on him, which is not helping the problem at all. She is also concerned that the handlers are not competent in using it - these same handlers have also been described by the YM as being a bit wet when handling horses generally.

I am so angry. I have worked for the best part of 3.5 years to make him as grounded as possible and make sure no part of introducing tack is an issue and now I have this to contend with, which I can't spend every day correcting because of work. It has angered me because they blame him an awful lot for things and yet have no reply when I ask why other people on the yard and I can handle him just fine but other people can't.

I will be speaking to YO as I am very unhappy, but what else do I do? I now have a young horse who is unhappy in his mouth, has experience of a chifney being used incorrectly and bruised him and is becoming headshy. There wasn't even an "inbetween" of perhaps putting his bridle on him to lead if there was a problem, it was just a case of "let's shove a chifney in."

Sorry the ranting, just so frustrated. I wish I could still be on DIY and do it all myself.
 
wow not surprised you are angry. :mad:

Obvious answer is to move yards.

Otherwise would YO be able to assign only one member of staff to handling your horse? Maybe you could spend a little time with that one person and show them how you would like your horse handled?
 
i would be really upset too. first you need to sit down with yo and discuss it. does she have experience with youngsters.i think if youre horse is to stay there should be a member of staff or 2 at most who handle him in your absence. they must agree to a plan of handling him and must be competent to do it . my concern would be can you trust them as it sounds as if things have been going on for a while. you may have to contemplate moving to a yard that you can trust...
 
The YO and some staff are experienced in handling youngsters etc but YO and YM rarely turn out anymore and it seems to be the weekend girls who are younger that are using a damn chifney on my horse.

My friend is going to meet with me and YO so the attitude that "it is just me" can't be taken and a plan sorted (I hope). I am literally on the verge of tears that my boy feels like this now and I'm not around as much as I would like to be. I know he is no angel - like any horse he has his moments - but he is so laid back and as soon as you tell him "no" he shrugs it off and behaves. To me, a chifney is used on a horse that rears, perhaps is dangerous etc, none of which he has done.

I'm glad no one else thinks I am overreacting.
 
I really feel for you and in your place would feel exactly the same. You are, unfortunately, the one who is going to have to pay the price for their incompetence - and your poor youngster of course.

I would move him asap to a yard who has more experienced grooms tbh.
 
I don't think you're overreacting. My (adult) horse became headshy a few years back, when a friend was turning him in or out once a day for me. One day I saw her belt her own horse across the face with a whip - then I clicked. Personally, I wouldn't want to stay there, but do you have anywhere better to go?

I realise that you want to remain anonymous, but could you post which county you are in, maybe people would have suggestions of good yards?
 
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I don't think you're overreacting. My (adult) horse became headshy a few years back, when a friend was turning him in or out once a day for me. One day I saw her belt her own horse across the face with a whip - then I clicked. Personally, I wouldn't want to stay there, but do you have anywhere better to go?

I realise that you want to remain anonymous, but could you post which county you are in, maybe people would have suggestions of good yards?

There isn't anywhere that I know of, this is the problem. I then also need to source another place to break him in. Any yard recommendations between High Wycombe and Aylesbury would be preferred. I am not in this area but it would make things easier if he could be kept in that area. I need part livery due to my hours, although hoping come September that I will be in a different job which will give me more time.
 
That is absolutely shocking from a yard. Problem is there is no o e for us to complain to. I mean would oft bs the place to make a complaint with regards to a yards operations?

I would defiantly be moving him. Can you not move him maybe closer to your work and do work on your lunch break?
 
That is absolutely shocking from a yard. Problem is there is no o e for us to complain to. I mean would oft bs the place to make a complaint with regards to a yards operations?

I would defiantly be moving him. Can you not move him maybe closer to your work and do work on your lunch break?

Unfortunately I'm not always guaranteed a lunch break! If I get a call I have to go and could be called anywhere. My work is so unpredictable in that sense I just cannot have him on DIY nearby in case I can't get to him. This just sucks. I am so disappointed with what has gone on and so upset my boy is taking the flack through it all.

Few friends are on the look out for alternatives etc and getting word of mouth recommendations too.
 
I remember this being posted about before, I would imagine by you or someone else having this sort of a problem. Some people advised move back then, and I think this time you really need to do it. A young horse is just too precious to ruin his mouth like that, and if this has happend up until now despite them being told last time, what makes you think they will be competent to back him without causing further problems?

If your work hours are a problem, why don't you either move to DIY or turn him away for the summer, and find a reliable decent groom by word of mouth to attend to him when you are unable to? In the meantime would your friend be able to do him at the times when you can't?

Hope you get something sorted.
 
Good luck, no wonder you're so upset!!

Is it worth speaking to the YO/ YM and seeing if you can pay extra for them to guarantee that they will turn him out, I'm a headcollar, and nobody else? Might be an idea to ask.

Meanwhile, I would definately be trying to move (which you seem to be doing)

Sounds like a horrid situation, I would be absolutely fuming too!!!
 
I remember this being posted about before, I would imagine by you or someone else having this sort of a problem. Some people advised move back then, and I think this time you really need to do it. A young horse is just too precious to ruin his mouth like that, and if this has happend up until now despite them being told last time, what makes you think they will be competent to back him without causing further problems?

If your work hours are a problem, why don't you either move to DIY or turn him away for the summer, and find a reliable decent groom by word of mouth to attend to him when you are unable to? In the meantime would your friend be able to do him at the times when you can't?

Hope you get something sorted.

Nope, wasn't me previously! This is the first time I have brought it up on here so not sure who else has had a similar problem.

I can't do DIY because of my work hours as I have explained previously. My friend can't help; she is on part livery for the same reasons as me. Trying to get something sorted; going to speak to YO but am looking in the meantime for something that is suitable.
 
Good luck, no wonder you're so upset!!

Is it worth speaking to the YO/ YM and seeing if you can pay extra for them to guarantee that they will turn him out, I'm a headcollar, and nobody else? Might be an idea to ask.

Meanwhile, I would definately be trying to move (which you seem to be doing)

Sounds like a horrid situation, I would be absolutely fuming too!!!

That is what I supposedly pay for at the moment...s*** isn't it?
 
Nope, wasn't me previously! This is the first time I have brought it up on here so not sure who else has had a similar problem.

I can't do DIY because of my work hours as I have explained previously. My friend can't help; she is on part livery for the same reasons as me. Trying to get something sorted; going to speak to YO but am looking in the meantime for something that is suitable.

My mistake then, but there is someone on here who posted on here a little while ago about very similar problems, so maybe if they see this they will be kind enough to PM you if they can be of any help :)

I meant could you find a DIY yard and a freelance groom who could effectively do the job of the full livery service, just on a DIY yard.
 
Other than moving him I can't really suggest an alternative but just to say that you are completely right to feel the way you are- if it was my youngster I would do more than hit the roof and I am an very chilled person! Surely they must have known the problems they would be creating using the chifney unnecessarily on your youngster?! Not informing you of it is totally unprofessional, you are the paying customer- I guess they'd do anything to make their lives easier :mad:
 
My mistake then, but there is someone on here who posted on here a little while ago about very similar problems, so maybe if they see this they will be kind enough to PM you if they can be of any help :)

I meant could you find a DIY yard and a freelance groom who could effectively do the job of the full livery service, just on a DIY yard.

Oh sorry, I get what you mean now! That is a good idea, I hadn't thought of that, definitely worth considering :)
 
Not informing you of it is totally unprofessional, you are the paying customer- I guess they'd do anything to make their lives easier :mad:

That is exactly what it feels like. Not bother sorting an issue out, make it worse and then wonder why I'm angry. Will be interesting once I have had a chat to them anyway. Find out why they think they are justified in doing this. My poor ponio :(
 
Your poor youngster. I would move asap I'm afraid and find a yard where he will be looked after by grooms or a YO with experience and compassion. Good luck finding a yard more suited to your horse's needs, with an experienced owner and staff.

FDC
 
This is why I only look after my horse myself or only get my close friends and family who I trust to look after him. Especially a young, bloody type horse!
Some yards employ young girls and at the end of the day they have to sometimes do a lot of horses in quick succession. They probably don't have the time nor inclination to teach your horse. Therefore if he's naughty they wack on a chifney, give him a jab and there's your problem! Not saying it's right (far from it!) but to them it's just a job.
That is honestly why I do the majority of handling my horses myself.
I don't blame you for being angry, I would but if you work that long hours maybe you shouldn't have a youngster as you can't give him consistent handling and he has every Tom/dick/Harry or whoever the yard is employing at that moment handling him.
What happens when it's time to break him and he needs short but consistent sessions under saddle to get him going.. What then? Will u be able to commit to that 5/6 days per week?
Sorry it's upset you, it's horrid to think that anyone is being careless with your horse :(
 
This is why I only look after my horse myself or only get my close friends and family who I trust to look after him. Especially a young, bloody type horse!
Some yards employ young girls and at the end of the day they have to sometimes do a lot of horses in quick succession. They probably don't have the time nor inclination to teach your horse. Therefore if he's naughty they wack on a chifney, give him a jab and there's your problem! Not saying it's right (far from it!) but to them it's just a job.
That is honestly why I do the majority of handling my horses myself.
I don't blame you for being angry, I would but if you work that long hours maybe you shouldn't have a youngster as you can't give him consistent handling and he has every Tom/dick/Harry or whoever the yard is employing at that moment handling him.
What happens when it's time to break him and he needs short but consistent sessions under saddle to get him going.. What then? Will u be able to commit to that 5/6 days per week?
Sorry it's upset you, it's horrid to think that anyone is being careless with your horse :(

I did wonder when someone would start with the, "should you even have a youngster etc." I work long hours yes, and I can't get up and see my horse as much as I would like and I am having these problems.

As I said in my original post, he was due to begin backing next week (this is now subject to what happens from this point). Due to my hours, a plan had been devised with a friend who is an instructor to ride him set days a week, leaving me the days on the weekend I have free to ride him, and therefore keep him ticking over this way. She is alas, unable to go further than that insofar as helping out in the way a groom would etc.

As I said originally, I am looking to change my job anyway, however, at a time during which I am quite upset, I am a little disconcerted by your comment that I perhaps shouldn't have a youngster. If the people handling him weren't of the type they have now shown themselves to be, it wouldn't be an issue - it certainly wasn't one in the year preceding this and there was no change in his beahviour until now.
 
Many thanks for all the replies. I have calmed down somewhat after venting on here.

I will post an update in due course once I have got everything sorted i.e. yard move etc. Hopefully we'll have some better news at that time.

Thank you for letting me vent.
 
Just find a proper yard and have him out as much as possible, send him to a sympathetic person to break /// you may not feel so involved but it is the welfare of the horse you have to consider, no need for any stabling at this time of the year unless he is being broken. Get a personal recommendation and go to the premises, visit regularly to watch his progress, it will not cost more to keep him at grass livery most of the time and pay for stabling and schooling.
 
Unfortunately I wasn't shocked reading this, although it is awful and unprofessional.

When I had my mare at livery I found that if you really wanted to know what was going on, you needed to make friends with and talk to the little children (from the mouths of babes and all that) with ponies at the yard. The stuff you'd find out was terrible and undoubtably true. I started to turn up at different times and once caught the YO really laying into one horse because she didn't expect there to be any witnesses. My mare didn't like the staff either, so I moved her and it was the best thing that I did for the mare.

I agree with everyone who says 'no more chances, move your horse!' If you have a trustworthy breaking/backing livery set up, talk to them there and explain what has happened. I'd be tempted to still send him there (even if he needs an extra week of groundwork there to help undo what the livery yard has done to him) because you'd know that he's being handled properly.
 
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