Regaining confidence

[KEC]

Sorry in advance if this has been done to death but here goes...

I recently returned to riding and have spent the last few years on preloved trying to find a horse to ride. Earlier this year I was broncoed off a horse seconds after getting on and this has really damaged my confidence. The horse continued bucking and broncing up and down the school.

I now have weekly lessons with a great instructor (who was there at the fall) but my problem is any time I ride a new horse intense up massively, forget everything I've learnt and panic.

How can I get over this and regain long term confidence on different horses? Is it achievable? I've tried preloved again but am reluctant to just get on and have a go like I did before and I can't really afford another lesson. Any ideas would be great.

 

[Equi]

I did the same. It's just all about consistency and making sure you have the right people and horse. It took me about five lessons before I cantered again and I only went over a cross pole this week (been there since March I think)

Take your time and only do something when you feel comfortable.

As for affording it, i can't really either. So I have two lessons a month and then I help out at the yard a day a week in return for a ride (so I can put what I have learned into practice)

 

[Barnacle]

How experienced are you other than the confidence issue?

If you can find a flexible share, particularly someone who has multiple horses/ponies, you can start off riding the easy ones and gradually explore more challenging ones as you gain confidence. Also, working with horses on the ground - I don't just mean leading/grooming etc but lunging, groundwork etc too - can massively boost your confidence. When you start being able to read horses reliably, the possibility of them bucking etc becomes less of an unpredictable mystery and you will be less scared jumping on a new one.

I sometimes accompany new sharers out for long, relaxed hacks at a slow pace (i.e. walk, occasional trot if they feel up to it) to get them used to the horse and while this doesn't always work out, many gain confidence really quickly and become independent in no time. Particularly as being out in the open is a lot more challenging than being in a school and once you feel secure hacking, schooling seems like a piece of cake! I also like to show people how to do basic groundwork as well cause I think it improves their ability to communicate with and understand horses more broadly - and therefore helps them feel safer as well.

I also mention sharing cause it's so, so much cheaper than lessons... And if you're sharing a couple of times a week, you don't have too much time to think and worry between rides like you might if you're having a lesson only once a week. Plus the more you ride, the less daunting the whole thing becomes because you have more and more good experiences and those couple of bad ones become less of a big deal in comparison.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

Sorry in advance if this has been done to death but here goes...

I recently returned to riding and have spent the last few years on preloved trying to find a horse to ride. Earlier this year I was broncoed off a horse seconds after getting on and this has really damaged my confidence. The horse continued bucking and broncing up and down the school.

Were you looking for a share or a horse to buy? When you went to try this horse did you see the owner ride first? If you didn't your instructor should have stepped in & got the owner to ride first for the same reason as what happened to you. Lots of horses come up for loan or purchase for genuine reasons. Others come up for sale because they have issues, the one you tried seems to have had serious issues. The owner of the horse probably said "Well, he's never done that before" as you were picked off the floor. Always think that the seller isn't telling you the truth until it's proved it's the truth.

As for confidence, you need to get on a reliable horse & ride with your instructor present & gradually the trust & confidence should return. Situations like this are when you know you have a good instructor. They don't just teach you to ride, they rebuild your confidence after bad experiences.

Good Luck.

 

[KEC]

Thanks for the replies. I am trying to find a share but struggling to find anything in my area that doesn't cost £££.

Toby - yes you are bang on, the owner did say exactly that numerous times. It was actually the second time I'd ridden him and the first he was great. Owner couldn't ride due to pregnancy.

Will keep on with lessons and hope that something comes up.

 

[herony]

Hello

It sounds like you had a similar experience to myself and had a bad experience which has dented your confidence. In my case, I fell off while jumping, hit my head and have been told that I was unconscious for about 30 seconds although I can't remember anything for an hour afterwards.

It sounds like you have the right approach to get lesson with the teacher who can remember and I have done this myself. I ride at a highly commended BHS approved school which make me feel more reassured. I was nervous for the first few minutes, have gone over a few jump and am well on the way to getting my confidence back but the whole experience has made me more aware of the dangers. I would suggest that you keep doing what you are doing and I hope it gets better for you.

Have you thought about seeing a counselor or types of talking therapy as it sounds like you have had a very stressful experience and your emotions might be hindering you in the saddle but you might not be aware of it. Has the instructor who was there given any feedback or suggestion about how you can learn from this so that something good comes from this?Just a thought. Please post back and let me know how you get on.