Replacing a dream horse - anyone done it successfully?

catembi

catembi

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My horse was put down on 26th February following a long illness. When I first saw him tied up in the dealer's yard, I didn't think much of him, but as soon as I saw him move, I knew that I just HAD to have him, & when I rode him, that was it. He was over budget, but I knew I'd never be happy unless I bought him.

I'd owned him for 4 1/2 years & thanks to him, was achieving things I never thought I'd do, especially jumping. Although I get very nervous competing BSJA, as soon as the bell went, he was off & was 100% reliable. We had a very close, almost telepathic bond and I rode him every day & competed BD or BSJA most weekends.


I've started horse hunting & have so far seen 5. One today was a very nice 5 y o with a huge jump, & a pretty little horse, but it didn't scream 'buy me' the way Cat did.

Is this because it's too soon after Cat died, or because now that I've had my dream horse, I'm not easily impressed? Or because you can't just jump on a random horse & recreate a 4 1/2 year bond? Am I ever going to want another horse again? I thought I wanted to pick up where I left off & get competing again, but now I'm wondering whether I should give up riding.

Someone out there must have lost their perfect partner. Please tell me what happens next because now I'm just sitting there crying for Cat.
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It is very hard. I found my second dream pony 2 weeks after my first one collapsed and died, I needed something to 'fill the hole' and he did it, was found by the same person who bought pony 1 for the 1st owners.
Having just sold him, found it hard to get on with my horse but he definitely screamed buy me...
 
I am so so sorry for you, there is another horse out there that needs YOU.

I cannot believe how lucky I was to find when I lost my girl that she had a pure sister and was actually able to buy her - it took a long time to accept that she would never be my Stinkerstonker - but now I would not trade her for the world!
 
Try not to buy on the rebound. Go and see lots and don't be in a hurry to replace Catembi. It isn't fair to expect a horse to fill his shoes and won't be its fault if it fails to do so. I would think look at horses of all types, not just his stamp and colour. You will know when there's one shines above all the rest. Stay cool and I wish you happy horse-hunting!
 
we sold our daughters dream pony bracken 4 yrs ago he was 15 and we felt he needed a quieter life, they did everything, xc, sj, pony club teams eventing etc with great success, and to this date we have never found one that could live up to him, I think when you have one like that you are forever searching for another the same, But I have my fingers crossed that you find another cat,
 
You sound like my daughter about 3 years ago.

She lost her great little horse Supersonic Soz .His heart was bigger than him and no jump was too big .3rd photo in siggie.
We put a tribute to him in H & H and had very little money to replace him but in the same issue was a yearling which we went to see.
He is now rising 5 [1st in siggie]. He had a lovely write up in H & H Jan uary because he won the spillers qual. and a picture ,our first in the great mag. Soz will never be forgotten but there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
I am STILL trying to replace Cercs my superstar and I may have got it right with Porridge, however, I have had 4 horses before her that haven't measured up, although I think that is my fault as I shouldn't be trying to replace him, I should just be looking for a new partnership.
 
Cat, dont start doubting yourself now hun, you have a fantastic self employed future ahead of you and a shite week behind you. Having lost Catembi, your partner, you will never get a ride like him or the same relationship, but you will find a horse at some stage.

When I lost my boy 6 years ago in a terrible accident, some weeks later a friend asked me to hack her anglo out. I couldnt believe the difference and I didnt like it - it wasnt what I was used to. It took me over a year before I was ready to commit.

Dont beat yourself up Cat, its early days yet. x
 
I'm a great believer that the right horse finds you rather than the other way round. I have never been horse hunting because my parents wouldn't let me, but we have 2 absolutely wonderful yet very different horses that 'found us' when we were least expecting it. I thought I would never ride again after bad experiences and an almost 4yr break, but things do work out for the best and you will find that dream horse, just be open minded because the real gems can come in disguise!
 
I lost Simon after 19 years. I always said i wouldnt get another horse but the gap that he left was just so big and i was lost without him. My boyfriend eventually persuaded me to look for another one as he couldnt stand to see me the way i was. I definatley needed something to occupy my mind. I decided on something totally different. Therefore the little creature in my avatar came along. I got him 3 months after i lost Simon. It was hard at first and the first few weeks i thought i had done the wrong thing. I couldnt find that same bond as i had with Simon and i missed him terribly. Then i realised.... I will never have the same bond as i did with Simon. I had grown up with him and he was my life. I had to not compare Inky to Simon as they werent the same. And i had to letting Inky into my heart. Afterall it wasnt his fault Simon was nolonger here. You will find something in your own time. Dont be upset if at first the bond doesnt happen but eventually it will. Try not to compare a new horse to your last one as it will never work. But after all try to give the love you have to your new one as its not his/her fault that you have come to buy them in these circumstances. I have realised i will have a special bond with Inky, and yes it will never be the same as i had with Simon, after all he was my soulmate but the bond i will have with Inky will be special in its own way.
 
I can sympathise entirely, my old jumping pony was PTS after I had her 14years. I had gone on to horses at 16 but nothing ever really came close. I did look at some, but also rode for other people, and then along came Touchy, she is definitely one in a million and although she doesnt compete at the level I want I would never part with her because she is the nicest person I have ever met (like a big orange comfort blanket). And then as if to be greedy along comes Sov.
Now you might think that I am a bit of a crank, but I wasnt looking for horses when these two came along. Touchy arrived on my wagon which I had lent to my uncle to move yards, she was last left on the wagon and there wasnt enough stables so he brought her back to our yard! Sov was given to me by a lady I didnt even know at the time, because my instructor said she knew someone who would love him!
So the moral is dont get down if you dont find the right one, cos the right one will find you!
 
After William died it took me a few months before I could even start looking - I'd had him 18 years & although I'd grown out of him I'd kept him for hacking then finally retired him. When I did start looking it took me months but when I saw Jim I knew I wanted him even though he wasn't what I was looking for. Even then it took a while to form a close bond, indeed after a month or so I was wondering what the hell I'd got myself into! Jim has never replaced William, they're totally different from each other, but I love him just as much & in many ways he's more "my" horse because I've owned him since a youngster & he's more of a one-person horse.

If I were you I'd hold off horse hunting for a little while, it sounds like you need time to grieve for Cat and while you feel so upset no horse is going to be good enough. When you are ready to look don't rush into anything because somewhere out there is another horse that you'll love & care for & when you see it you'll know.

Look after yourself catembi & I hope you feel better soon.
 
Really sorry to hear about your horse Cat. I have had a fair few ponies in my short life time and some of the ponies you just really bond well with and some you just can't. ponies/horses are like people, some you like and some you dont. You will find your dream horse and you will know if he is the right one or not. If you're not sure weather a horse is the right one it probably is'nt. keep searching he/she is out there somewhere...
 
Having said all that, I just remembered we 'replaced' a 12 hand liver chestnut sec B gelding with his 14 hand sec B double. He will never be Freddie but he has come so close its untrue. Took over two years to find him and he had 'I'm the one you are looking for' all over his face!
Freddie
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Sidney
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I always go with gut feeling. You will know when you find your horse. I think its when you think I would give them( the selller) whatever they ask, then you know!! Or when you look at others and you cant get that one out of your head, then you know!!It will never be the same as your last horse as all are different, but all are special, and the one you choose may not be perfect, but when you find it you will just know!!! And you will end up loving him/her, faults and all!!! Good luck!!
 
i had a one in a million dream horse called goerge, i didnt own him but looked after him when he was retiered... but i was only 14 and use to ride him bare back he died at the ripe old age of 34 and 10 years later i found archie. he is my main man, all gorges good points but 8years old! so yeah i did eventually! good luck and really sorry to hear about yours! x
 
My "dream" horse, although most of the time she actually resembled a nightmare
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, died a few years ago. I had her for 16 years and she really was the love of my equine world. I've had a number of horses since her and before her.....but none have really been what she was to me. All the horses I own now are quite delightful, very loving and I do like them an awful lot....but they aren't her. The funny thing is though - would I want another like her? I don't think I would. I very much doubt I would ever chose a horse with so many hang-ups again.

I do have a very special little pony though and I definitely love her - still not in the same way, but probably just as deeply.

I'm not too sure what I'm saying to you; probably the answer is NO you won't find another Cat, he will always be the special one......however you might find another that gives you a different kind of feeling, and not necessarily better or worse, just different.
 
Having been through a similar thing myself I can understand exactly where you are coming from. And I am not denying it will be hard to find another after the special bond you had with your horse. I did not even want to look at horses because I was so heartbroken but my OH (bless him) made me...and I looked at many that were my previous horses 'type'...got there and they were nothing like him and I did not even want to sit on some of them! I dispaired and only wanted my other horse back!
But I did find a friend again and he is everything I could have wanted...and yes, I believe you know and feel when you have found the 'one'. Don't dispair, keep looking and he/she will appear, just try to see all the trying out as fun and an adventure...it will happen.
 
I'm in much the same boat. My boy died 14 moths ago. I'd had him for almost 9 years, we'd grown up together and I still miss him terribly. I started browsing ads a month or so after he died and I'm still looking. The only ones that have looked really promising have been sold mere hours before I've gone to view them (happened three times now
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) and those I've viewed have been disappointing. I'm feeling very disheartened myself this morning.
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Thank goodness I have my girl to keep me sane.

I wish you the best of luck in your search,

H. x
 
I lost my dream horse in 2000. We had a bond very much as you describe. Several horses later I have found another dream horse (to me). Only took 6 years! Strange thing is i very nearly didn't have him. I didn't like the sound of the advert (didn't tick the boxes) but wife nagged me to phone up. Didn't like the pic the owner sent but again, wife nagged me to go see him. Didn't like the look of him when I saw him but thought I might as well sit on him since I was there.
From the moment my bum hit the saddle he has been the horse I was searching for. Nothing special and can be infuriating at times but I know he is with me for the duration.
 
I lost my beloved Sec D to colic on 2nd april last year. He was the greatest horse i could have asked for - we were together for 6 years and went from riding school hack to dressage superstar. when I moved to Surrey I brought him with me and had huge plans to finally get out and compete - then he coliced and 24 hours later i had him PTS. I was distraught, and still cry for him sometimes, i know there will never be another like him...

at the time I wanted to just give it all up - but i had a youngster I had brought to bring on and another horse I had agreed to school and sell for a friend in the field, so i decided to plug on and see how it went and try to sell the two of them....

So - nearly a year on from loosing Bailey I am further than I ever thought, I ended up keeping both horses and now have my two boys to keep me sane - neither of them will be Bailey but they do a good job trying... they are complete opposites but have given me the confidence to get on with it and I am jumping and doing stuff I would never have been able to do with Bailey, my bond with them wasnt instant, its taken a while but its getting there - and ironically on the first anniversary of Baileys passing Darcy and I will be doing our first dressage test, something i never got the chance to do on Bailey.

anyway - I'm rambling but the point is you may never get that bond again but you will get through it and you will find anouther horse to love and trust. go with your instincts, but remember the wow factor will be harder to find as all horses will be compared to the one you lost.

good luck
 
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