Rescue dog with young children.....sorry it's long!

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MrsS1987

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I'm looking for some advice please.

I have 2 young daughters ages 2 & 4 and our terrier cross who is 5 and has been with us since 9 weeks old.

I've wanted another dog for about 12 months now but don't want another puppy. My husband is also quite happy with the idea so I have been scouring the local dog rescues for a while but a lot are unsuitable around young children.

But yesterday I came across a lovely lurcher girl who seem perfect. Very calm, quiet, loving and good with other dogs. I've spoken to the kennels and although she was brought in as a stray she's been there 3 weeks and they believe she could work with a young family with the appropriate introductions beforehand. So I had made plans for us and the kids to go along and meet her on Saturday.

I've just spoken with my Mum about it who said, in the nicest way possible that I am putting the girls at unnecessary risk with an unknown rescue dog. Now I feel awful and feel like I'm making a big mistake but I still really want to go and see this lovely girl on Saturday.

I'm torn. Have any of you rehomed a rescue dog with a young family and a dog already in the house? Would a lurcher fit in with our family? Any advice is welcome.

Thanks for reading :)
 
If you want my honest opinion, no rescue or kennels in their right mind would ever re-home any dog with young children that had arrived via the strays route. Stray kennels are full of nice dogs who appear to have superb temperaments but the nature of the beast is, their history is completely unknown.

Three weeks is no time at all to determine if this dog would be good with your kids, especially as I doubt any children have been anywhere near it during this time. There could be a reason this dog is a 'stray'. A huge percentage of stray dogs are just unclaimed dogs. The owners know they're there but don't bother to go and get them back, for one reason or another.

I think it's wonderful you're considering a rescue dog but walk away from any dog you don't know the FULL history of. It's not worth the risk to your kids. We've re-homed loads of dogs to homes with kiddies over the years but the dogs have all been surrendered from homes with children.

My current one (Button) could have been re-homed with children as she was brought up with kids but I nabbed her first!!
 
I'd be very wary, an unknown history could be hiding all sorts of problems. The history given to a rescue isn't always 100% true either, my cute little white fluffy thing is not as described and is unsafe with children or anything that moves to be honest.

Could you go see her first without the children and do a bit of an assessment yourself? You may not take to her but you can bet your life the kids would and would want to take doggie home now!
 
Id normally be saying go for it. Both my lurchers are super sweet and adore kids. Well I say both, my old girl was PTS tonight :'( She came from the pound direct to me and would have been 100% fine with kids. But I dont have any kids and not sure I would have taken the risk if I did. In fact, I wouldnt.

Could you get a dog direct from a family home? There are lots of ads giving up dogs on preloved etc. Its not fool proof, but does give you the opportunity to view the dog in a family home. There are also lots of rescues that rehome lurchers/whippets/greyhounds that ont kennel them and put them into a home foster environment. That will probably be a better match.

But definitely look at lurchers, I feel like my heart has been ripped out letting my girl go and the one thing that was missing from her life with me was kids. She just adored them, as does my other boy. Its a breed trait in almost everyone I have ever met :)
 
I took on a rescue lurcher when I had a 2 year old son. The kennels lady had seen her interact with children and was sure she would be fine. I have never had any problems at all.
So, if you are prepared to make sure they are not left alone together I don't see why you should worry. Your children presumably know how to behave around dogs.
I would go and meet her yourself first, on the sly, you can tell a lot about them that way.
Longdogs generally don't like being squeezed or pulled around as they are so bony so your children will need to be careful with her. One thing about travellers dogs, they are very well socialised! So, if that is her background she has probably spent more time with children than you have!
 
FrankieCob said:
Id normally be saying go for it. Both my lurchers are super sweet and adore kids. Well I say both, my old girl was PTS tonight :'( She came from the pound direct to me and would have been 100% fine with kids. But I dont have any kids and not sure I would have taken the risk if I did. In fact, I wouldnt.

Could you get a dog direct from a family home? There are lots of ads giving up dogs on preloved etc. Its not fool proof, but does give you the opportunity to view the dog in a family home. There are also lots of rescues that rehome lurchers/whippets/greyhounds that ont kennel them and put them into a home foster environment. That will probably be a better match.

But definitely look at lurchers, I feel like my heart has been ripped out letting my girl go and the one thing that was missing from her life with me was kids. She just adored them, as does my other boy. Its a breed trait in almost everyone I have ever met :)
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So sorry to hear that, FC.
 
I'm sorry but I agree with your mum and everyone else. That's definitely not something that would make me feel comfortable.

There's lots of Staffies on Preloved looking for new family homes. They are fantastic with kids :)
 
SpringArising said:
There's lots of Staffies on Preloved looking for new family homes. They are fantastic with kids :)
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well they can be fantastic with kids but almost everything offered on Preloved/Gumtree is probably massively under socialised and I make no apologies for that generalisation having scoured them both for much of a year. Plus, those owners could tell you anything you wanted to hear.

There are charities up here that mediate private rehouse OP-mostly they offer a 2 week foster period as well and have welfare officers experienced in evaluating dogs. Worth seeing if there's anything like that?
 
Frankiecob so sorry to hear that. Tonight must have been horrible for you.

Thank you all so much for your replies. You have confirmed what I was feeling. I would never dream of ever putting my girls in danger. I guess having never had a rescue dog before I have looked at it with rose tinted glasses.

My girls are great with dogs. Our terrier Dolly was my first baby so being with her is all they have known. But she is amazing, my littlest who at 2 thinks she is dog trainer extrodinaire when Dolly sits and gives her paw! Although she could be a bit too full on for a dog not used to kids.

I do have a child free morning on Friday so I may pop down and meet her as its only down the road. But after reading your replies and thinking of me bringing her home and then something going wrong with the kids. I would never forgive myself.

If only I had the mental strength to go through the puppy stage again :-D
 
If your children were older, then my answer may well be different - but as they are still so young then I'm afraid I would also say no to this particular dog. It is great you are looking for a rescue dog, but I would be looking for one who has a known history around small children. Another option may be a breeder (with children or grandchildren etc) who has kept a puppy to run on (for showing or working etc) but who hasn't made the grade, at least then you will know the full history of the dog.
 
Clodagh the lady at the kennels said she suspects she has been a working dog as she has a fair few scars on her body. My sister got a whippet puppy 6 months ago and I have to admit I am pretty smitten.
 
The kids seem a bit young to be too dog savvy yet (the 2yo particularly) so I think it would be better to wait until one comes in from a home to rehome with more history really.
 
The only way you could find out if a rescue dog is ok with children would be to approach a rescue where the dogs are all put with foster families instead of being kennelled. The foster families assess the dogs and should have a fair idea of a dog's attitude to children. I tend to agree though that it is too much to expect of a two year old to actually be "good with dogs" as they are unable to read the dog's body language so should only be around any dog under the closest of supervision at all times.
 
FrankieCob said:
Id normally be saying go for it. Both my lurchers are super sweet and adore kids. Well I say both, my old girl was PTS tonight :'( She came from the pound direct to me and would have been 100% fine with kids. But I dont have any kids and not sure I would have taken the risk if I did. In fact, I wouldnt.

Could you get a dog direct from a family home? There are lots of ads giving up dogs on preloved etc. Its not fool proof, but does give you the opportunity to view the dog in a family home. There are also lots of rescues that rehome lurchers/whippets/greyhounds that ont kennel them and put them into a home foster environment. That will probably be a better match.

But definitely look at lurchers, I feel like my heart has been ripped out letting my girl go and the one thing that was missing from her life with me was kids. She just adored them, as does my other boy. Its a breed trait in almost everyone I have ever met :)
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So sorry, FC. I know it was going to happen, but it's never easy. Extra Dylan cuddles tonight. XX
 
When I was looking for my lurcher no rescue would even consider us as smallest was 2. I suppose they were right but I went straight to the pound to get over the red tape and have never regretted it.
 
I rehomed a beautiful lurcher from the Dogs Trust earlier this year. I don't have kids, but she has very obviously lived with children, and is very happy when she hears kids and I would have no issues with her being around children.

Having said that, I would either go with rehoming a dog that has been in foster with children and you have an idea of their temperament around children, although as others have said, most rescues would not rehome a dog with an unknown history to you, due to the age of your children or I would bite the bullet and go down the puppy route again.
 
I have to agree with your mum I am afraid because your children are still so young I think an older dog with unknown history is a risk, I would only consider a dog that had lived with young children happily or go for a very young dog or a puppy so they grow up with your children.

I have a dog that would be totally unsuitable in a home with young children she is terrified of them luckily I don't have any children, around adults and older kids she is fine and you would never know unless your saw a small child approach her so be very careful whatever you take on.
 
I help with a rescue and we would be very careful about rehoming a dog with a young family. Most of our dogs go to foster homes so they can be properly assessed although occasionally we have one going to a foster home as a potential adoption. From a general rescue not sure how much you would find out about past history, most of ours are assessed in the surrendering home before we decide if we can help. Some are picked up from preloved and they would always go to an experienced foster home first. Preloved is not the place to advertise dogs too many people offering good homes use them as bait!! Send the girlfriend and kids to collect!! We do have some lovely dogs coming in from people whose circumstances have changed, i.e. illness,house repossession, job change etc so maybe worth looking at breed rescues although you may have to wait for a suitable dog.
 
Can you go to breed rescue where more often more details are known about the dogs.

Or the Blue Cross rehome dogs from people's houses, so they never see kennels, also a way of seeing a dog in a family situation but with so easy security of going through a good charity.
 
the age of the children would put most rescues off. However, the idea of a breed rescue is a good one. If you did consider a Stafford, then I would definitely call Stafford Welfare (they do have branches all over the UK) and say you are looking for a child and dog savvy rehome. 3 out of the 5 of my Staffords I have had through them were "home from home" so I knew exactly what I was getting. Also had the real opportunity to ensure that the new dogs would settle with the existing dogs. However, if Staffords aren't your breed of choice, then perhaps ask about a good breed rescue. I can only speak for how I have found Stafford Welfare.
 
Thank you for all the replies. I will definitely look at all the options mentioned.

The dog I originally posted about is in the local pound kennels and has been there a month after being found as a stray. As much as I love the look of her, you are all right about it being too much of a risk.

I am going to call another local rescue with dogs in foster homes. Hopefully we'll find something suitable. If not then we'll have to wait a couple of years until my youngest is a little older.

Thanks again for all your advice. :)
 
No rescue thats at all reputable would rehome a dog to a family with small children when the dog has an unknown history unless its a puppy and rescues do have puppies so its worth looking around.

Owners who give up their dogs to rescue sometimes lie so any rescue that uses fosterers is in a good position to assess the dog thoroughly, dogs that are rehomed from kennels will always be an unknown quantity as behaviour in kennels and a home are entirely different.

Ive fostered dogs where Ive been there when the dogs are surrendered by the owners to the rescue and where children have been present and its been heartwrenching to watch because you know the people are genuine but have come up against a range of circumstances where they can no longer keep the dog. One particular dog I had was a Bichon x Poodle and he adored children and he went to a home with children where they were all very happy. None was as young as 2 though which is a concern because children of this age are not always gentle and unless the parents are really strict dogs can be abused. Im not saying this about you OP but just what rescues will be thinking when you approach them

Personally unless you can get a puppy I would wait until your 2yr old is a bit older, its always best to approach from a safety point of view.
 
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