Rider mindset

[toppedoff]

I'm genuinely struggling with mindset at the moment with riding. My two lots today felt like I failed them and couldn't do it anymore especially since the first horse was what got me confidence back and the second was riled up and I've never had that before with him.

They're both very keen and need quiet riders which is what I am like. Very still and subtle movements from my end but the moment I was riding away from the group I'd panic and they would try to canter.

Second lot I pulled in and sobbed feeling like I can't do it anymore and don't know why I came back if I am just back to where I was in terms of mindset and same issues and my instructor told me to hop off and sweep. I know for a fact my mindset will be down fall and get sent home but it is hard to try and change that mindset. I just don't know what to do.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

You could always try hypnotism, might help.

 

[Jambarissa]

This sounds very hard for you but from what you're writing here you are really building it up in your head. You had one bad day and you managed, there could be many reasons for this.

It does sound like youd benefit from help with your way of thinking. Why not have a look at various techniques and see what might chime for you? I'm more of a logical CBT type person but had hypnotherapy in the past which was useful and visualisation was great when I was jumping.

Do you have a friend or instructor who can help assess your sessions? Anyone else who can ride the horses and see how they get on? Sometimes horse and rider aren't a good match and it's beneficial for both of you to move on.

 

[McGrools]

Riding racehorses isnt for everyone. It’s a dangerous job.
I don’t know many riders that love going fast.
I think you need to be a bit of an adrenaline junky to really love galloping fit racehorses.
Xx

 

[toppedoff]

Riding racehorses isnt for everyone. It’s a dangerous job.
I don’t know many riders that love going fast.
I think you need to be a bit of an adrenaline junky to really love galloping fit racehorses.
Xx

I do but when things go wrong I feel like I can't do it and it never happens to everyone else and everyone else can handle it than me. Nothing actually happened but it's just awful feeling like that. It just seems like an off day since this is my first proper bad day since being here for over a month now if we're ignoring the old course but the mindset does definitely hinder me. My instructor told me last week that I'm not afraid to ride just afraid to make mistakes but it's hard not to dwell on those issues or expect those issues

Funny enough I felt confident to saying yes when trainer asked would I get on one of his and go on the 5 furlong rounds yesterday

 

[McGrools]

I do but when things go wrong I feel like I can't do it and it never happens to everyone else and everyone else can handle it than me. Nothing actually happened but it's just awful feeling like that. It just seems like an off day since this is my first proper bad day since being here for over a month now if we're ignoring the old course but the mindset does definitely hinder me. My instructor told me last week that I'm not afraid to ride just afraid to make mistakes but it's hard not to dwell on those issues or expect those issues

Funny enough I felt confident to saying yes when trainer asked would I get on one of his and go on the 5 furlong rounds yesterday

Do you get opportunity to ride away from the racing school? It sounds like riding in a no pressure environment would help to get practice in without fear of critisism

 

[94lunagem]

@toppedoff I haven’t been on the forum that long compared to most so what I’m about to suggest/ask is not from any particular observation about you, I’m just wondering out loud.

Do you ride normal riding horses as a hobby and enjoy it? Do you suffer with these confidence crisis in other aspects of your life? Is there an underlying anxiety and self-confidence issue you need to deal with, separate from your course?

If it’s purely your course where you feel like this then this won’t apply. But if it’s wider in your life, would it be the worst thing to take some time out in a no pressure environment and put some work into yourself? Then if you do choose to go back to it you’re doing so from a stronger position to start with.

Or whatever you do in life, you need to enjoy it and if racehorses is making you this anxious, maybe it’s just not for you? And there is nothing wrong with that if that is the case.

I’ll say again, I don’t know if other forum members might know more of your backstory and I’m not wanting to cast aspersions if I’m not in the full picture. But this is what I’d be thinking.

 

[toppedoff]

@toppedoff I haven’t been on the forum that long compared to most so what I’m about to suggest/ask is not from any particular observation about you, I’m just wondering out loud.

Do you ride normal riding horses as a hobby and enjoy it? Do you suffer with these confidence crisis in other aspects of your life? Is there an underlying anxiety and self-confidence issue you need to deal with, separate from your course?

If it’s purely your course where you feel like this then this won’t apply. But if it’s wider in your life, would it be the worst thing to take some time out in a no pressure environment and put some work into yourself? Then if you do choose to go back to it you’re doing so from a stronger position to start with.

Or whatever you do in life, you need to enjoy it and if racehorses is making you this anxious, maybe it’s just not for you? And there is nothing wrong with that if that is the case.

I’ll say again, I don’t know if other forum members might know more of your backstory and I’m not wanting to cast aspersions if I’m not in the full picture. But this is what I’d be thinking.

Never really rode as a hobby aside from the odd hack. I have always struggled with anxiety and confidence crisis it just seems its now affecting my life and things I want to be good at.

 

[Melody Grey]

I used to ride racehorses and eventers. I think confidence and not being anxious comes from being in tricky situations so many times and getting through them that you build up a bank of positive experiences to draw upon in times of challenge.

I think experience gives us greater perspective- one bad day/ one difficult horse isn’t a deal breaker and there’s enough positive reserve to come back the next day and find positives……it will come with time, go easy on yourself, you’re doing great given that it sounds you don’t have lots of previous experience to draw on.

 

[Irish Sally]

Do you always tense up when you're riding away from the group? I'd get as much practise as I could if that's the case.
Unfortunately with racehorses or working with horses you kinda just have to grin and bear it. Even if they canter when they're not supposed to it's not a big deal. Just calmly bring them back to trot. You've got this!

 

[humblepie]

Lots of fab advice but I would say don’t think it is only you. I’m sure others have days when they doubt their ability but you just don’t realise it.

 

[Wishfilly]

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but I've (sort of) been where you were and ultimately decided working with horses professionally wasn't for me. I wasn't riding race horses, but I completely lost my confidence jumping and riding unknown horses, which was an issue. I basically didn't ride at all for about 2 years, then had some chilled lessons to get back into it, and finally bought my own- which is great because if I just want to mooch about the countryside, I can, and I actually enjoy riding again.

It doesn't sound like your instructor was especially helpful, but equally when you're trying to teach people to ride professionally, you do have to accept higher standards. I do think it take a certain sort of mindset (not mine) to make it work.

I think you are doing really well, but I also wonder if there's something about the environment that's creating these issues?

 

[Hobo2]

Humblepie said what I was going to say I bet the others do feel just like you some days. What your instructor said was nice saying you are capable just have to stop worrying if you some times get it wrong. Hope tomorrow brings your mojo back .

 

[HopOnTrot]

There's a great trainer on facebook, Jo something? She has awesome headcam videos where she really talks you through riding a racehorse, fascinating stuff to listen to, there are a few where she had headcam and her daughter out too and talks her through riding the gallops on her pony too. I can't remember her name properly to look her up she is the voice you need in your head!

 

[Old school]

Are you getting enough rest and proper nutrition? Having ridden out in a flat yard, it is the best fun and thrill for that stage of my life. But it is hugely taxing on your body and really proper rest and diet is critical to having the mental stamina and energy that you need. I have so many good memories. Try to enjoy the privilege of riding the best horses in superb surroundings.

 

[humblepie]

There's a great trainer on facebook, Jo something? She has awesome headcam videos where she really talks you through riding a racehorse, fascinating stuff to listen to, there are a few where she had headcam and her daughter out too and talks her through riding the gallops on her pony too. I can't remember her name properly to look her up she is the voice you need in your head!

Jo Davies?

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

Maybe deep down you're realising the riding part of racing isn't for you - maybe start having a look into some of the other jobs available, either within the industry (such as secretary or admin roles or stud work) or even outside of it (if it's non horsey it'll be better paid too!

I know you've said you'd like your own, a non horsey role would probably give you more money to sustain the upkeep of one, plus having the time to enjoy it.

I've heard the racing industry is very cut throat (I was interested when I was a teenager but my RS owner, who was certainly very hard faced herself) said how brutal it is. I presume once you're working for a yard you have to ride what you're given and get on with it, because they need the horses exercised and have the staff allocated accordingly so they need stuff to happened as planned. Also don't forget there's also the darker side of racing and the risk one of your charges may not return from the gallops or course.

The horses there don't sound very suitable considering the people there are there to learn... Wonder if they are sour. However I can imagine the ones in a yard will be tricky, yes you'll probably get some that are laid back, but they are race fit, have a look through the posts Elf used to do, they are often messing her around - and as I said, while I've never worked in a race yard, I imagine it's very much a case of you need to deal with it accordingly - they need them trained as per schedule and would need them to keep to this.

There would be absolutely no harm in deciding you really don't think you feel riding is suitable for you. It would not be a failure if you decided to go down a different path.

Just putting it as an alternative option and opinion

I absolutely love going fast out hacking, but I don't have the bottle for histrionics. I'd always ride my Welsh D in a more secure seat galloping (weight a bit further back but bum still out the saddle) as he would spook at different colour grass or sheep in a hedge. He'd also spook at mud in the road and all sorts of random things. However I knew him as he was mine and I'd had him years so knew to expect it, however for that reason I wouldn't let anyone else on him - I wasn't a great rider but I didn't want him catching anyone unaware

However my absolute nos are bucking rearing or real dirty behaviour, I don't have the bottle for it, it's dangerous. I imagine some of these horses do these things, and as a result, I also wouldn't want to be on them as I don't want to get hurt. It's called self preservation. I also lost my bottle jumping, because he was a spooky so and so, and we got into a vicious cycle where I'd ride anticipating the stop, and he'd think well im right to be scared as she is, he'd then either cat leap or reinforce my worries by stopping. So I didn't jump the last few years I had him, because the what ifs became too big

However that was ok because he was mine, so I could choose what I did with him. In a work environment you'll need to fit with what they need you to do within reason, and it could affect your confidence even further. Whereas if you just ride for pleasure, if you want to gallop or canter that day, you can choose to. Equally if you only feel confident enough to walk, you can also do that.

At times it almost feels like you think racing is the only option available to you, it's really not! There are loads of careers out there, and apprenticeships are very valuable these days so please don't feel like it's the only thing you can do

 

[neddy man]

You have fought so hard to get to this point, don't give up because of an odd bad day, STICK WITH IT, time is a good healer.

 

[NinjaPony]

Just to say that whilst I love horses, riding and I’ve been doing it a long time, I am naturally a more anxious rider than other people. In order to enjoy it, I have to work within my own limits. There is no way I would have the nerve for racehorses, no matter how much training I had. It’s one of the hardest things you can do in the horse world IMO, it’s not weird that your brain is telling you it’s dangerous, because it is! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but you shouldn’t feel bad that you are nervous because it’s a pretty understandable response from your brain! I live with my nerves because I love riding and the pay off outweighs the negatives, but I also know my limits, and that’s absolutely fine. If you feel you’d be better off keeping horse riding as a hobby, and learning to ride in another way without all the pressure, then that would in no way reflect badly on you. If you decide to keep going, then don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing so well already.

 

[Trouper]

I'm sure there are all sorts of therapies and advice out there to deal with under-confidence issues but over the years I have found just one simple trick works - stop thinking about yourself!! Turn the situation around and look at it from the other side -his side - you are out exercising a beautiful animal. What does he need from you, what are you trying to achieve with him that morning, what are you trying to teach him? You must have the riding skills or you would not be put up on him to start with so give those skills to the horse by concentrating on his needs in that moment.
Try it - it really gets better with practice honestly.

 

[mini-eventer]

I like your advise Trouper - I am going to try this myself. My horse can have the odd excited buck in winter due to restricted turn out and I can sit it fine, but after my legs turn to jelly and I cant bring my self to ride forwards. In reality sending and being allowed to go forwards is all he need.

 

[Gamebird]

I am more familiar with the curriculum at the National Racing College rather than the BRS, but is there a non-riding stream? I know there is one at the NRC and they seem to be invested in training good ground staff. I know that once you graduate and go out on work placement you will start on the 'easy' ones, but they will expect you to ride anything and everything over time, and I suspect from reading your posts that this might make you anxious and self-doubting. There are certainly plenty of non-riding jobs in racing, and plenty of these jobs enable you to go racing with your horses, and lead them up etc., it's just that you do mostly yard work at home. In a good yard this can be a fantastic job, not just shovelling muck every day, but lots of working directly with the horses, just in a non-riding capacity.

I certainly don't ride out as much as I used to, and am lucky enough to have the seniority (age!) only to ride the very sensible ones, so I see where you are coming from. Putting me on a sharp one these days would benefit neither me, the horse nor any of the other staff. However I realise I am in a privileged position and I honestly find the non-riding work very rewarding too. And you will still get pool money etc.

 

[Horseperson432]

I work in racing and have done for the last 3 years. I started out not being able to hold one side of anything, finally got it sussed and then went abroad and felt like I had no clue how to ride a horse. But I eventually got used to it and am now back home and loving the job more than ever. Racing has its ups and downs and I promise everyone struggles at times… whether you’re just starting out at the racing school or have been doing it for years! In fact a lot of the time more people are finding a horse keen than you think, people have just sussed how to style it out!!!
Everyone learns at different rates. You may struggle more than people now but In a few months time you could be miles ahead of them. Whilst riding racehorses is about technique etc the biggest part is mindset, if you tell yourself you can’t hold a horse you won’t! It can just take time to develop a technique that works for you and that’s okay
Sometimes I find if I’ve had a confidence knock a little bit of time off can help me settle my mindset. I have time to a) think about situations in a more positive light and b) stop thinking about racing all together! Which can often help you get out of a hole and put things into perspective

 

[neddy man]

Stick at it. Even ELF has the odd bad day.

 

[LEC]

I think you have trapped yourself into a cycle of despair and self fulfilling prophecy.

You have a bad day and it’s not the end of the world. You learn far quicker and better by failing but it can feel pretty tough when you are in the moment.

I think you need to work harder on your mental game and a couple of things that could help you are:

Writing down what you have learnt/improved.

Writing down what you are good at the college and doing this daily. Only look at positives.

I think you need to tell yourself in the mirror before you go out into the yard every morning. I am good enough. I am improving and I am enough.

I also think you need to have something to help you stay present. Rubbing your forefinger and thumb together is a good one. Practice having your best memories almost like a film through your head. What happened, what you did, what you were wearing, the sounds, the smells and rub your forefinger and thumb. You will need to really practice this and visualise it then when feeling anxious you can use this action to ground you.

I am probably riding better than ever and I am in my early forties and have ridden all my life. Sure it’s been part time but it has been a substantial part of my life for the last 20 years and I will ride and compete a lot of horses. That’s hours and hours in the saddle. I also rode as a kid so don’t have the confidence issues a lot of people have who start riding as an adult and I have a huge support system round me of coaches, friends and professionals to help. It’s no wonder you feel a bit isolated and a bit crap about yourself. I think you need to cut yourself some slack. You are starting from scratch and learning new skills is hard. You are also fighting for an outcome so not getting to enjoy the process of learning in your own time for fun. That’s really hard as it’s sink or swim.

I think you need to be nicer to yourself and work out how far you have come. I would also write down the differences between day 1 at college and where you are now. I would also list how far you have come on since being made to continue.

Life is hard, and your resilience from doing this will set you up for life. It’s too easy to quit when having a bad time and we all get anxious especially things out of your control, but it’s normal. Resilience will make you stronger and tougher than anyone else around you and mean you can achieve things others won’t. You will pick yourself up off the floor on the bad days because you have done it before and keep going. Nobody can do more than that. Failing, though terrible, isn’t the end of the world and it’s the fight back that will make you stronger and mean you learn better, develop mental strength and often leads to a different path which you might not have taken otherwise.

There will be light at the end of the tunnel but you have to keep trudging towards it.

 

[Surbie]

I think @LEC has put it perfectly.

I remember reading how excited you were to get into racing school, the effort you put into a fairly thankless job beforehand and I wish you could see how far you have come.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I think you have trapped yourself into a cycle of despair and self fulfilling prophecy.

You have a bad day and it’s not the end of the world. You learn far quicker and better by failing but it can feel pretty tough when you are in the moment.

I think you need to work harder on your mental game and a couple of things that could help you are:

Writing down what you have learnt/improved.

Writing down what you are good at the college and doing this daily. Only look at positives.

I think you need to tell yourself in the mirror before you go out into the yard every morning. I am good enough. I am improving and I am enough.

I also think you need to have something to help you stay present. Rubbing your forefinger and thumb together is a good one. Practice having your best memories almost like a film through your head. What happened, what you did, what you were wearing, the sounds, the smells and rub your forefinger and thumb. You will need to really practice this and visualise it then when feeling anxious you can use this action to ground you.

I am probably riding better than ever and I am in my early forties and have ridden all my life. Sure it’s been part time but it has been a substantial part of my life for the last 20 years and I will ride and compete a lot of horses. That’s hours and hours in the saddle. I also rode as a kid so don’t have the confidence issues a lot of people have who start riding as an adult and I have a huge support system round me of coaches, friends and professionals to help. It’s no wonder you feel a bit isolated and a bit crap about yourself. I think you need to cut yourself some slack. You are starting from scratch and learning new skills is hard. You are also fighting for an outcome so not getting to enjoy the process of learning in your own time for fun. That’s really hard as it’s sink or swim.

I think you need to be nicer to yourself and work out how far you have come. I would also write down the differences between day 1 at college and where you are now. I would also list how far you have come on since being made to continue.

Life is hard, and your resilience from doing this will set you up for life. It’s too easy to quit when having a bad time and we all get anxious especially things out of your control, but it’s normal. Resilience will make you stronger and tougher than anyone else around you and mean you can achieve things others won’t. You will pick yourself up off the floor on the bad days because you have done it before and keep going. Nobody can do more than that. Failing, though terrible, isn’t the end of the world and it’s the fight back that will make you stronger and mean you learn better, develop mental strength and often leads to a different path which you might not have taken otherwise.

There will be light at the end of the tunnel but you have to keep trudging towards it.

Juuuust gonna bookmark this post for my own reference next time I am having a confidence crisis....

 

[Caol Ila]

Juuuust gonna bookmark this post for my own reference next time I am having a confidence crisis....

Me too!

Had a bit of a clusterf*^&k with my youngster last week. Felt totally put off hacking solo again, but kind of worked out why she did what she did, and reminded myself of the many happy, successful hacks we've had in the last year. Also realised we probably should be schooling doubling/one-rein stops, a thing you're meant to do in the bosal and I've been a bit half-a*rsed about training it. Oops. I've done a lot of that this week. Went on a solo hack today, and things felt back to normal.

Had to play a lot of mental games with myself.

1. The horse was in a different saddle configuration from normal. Let's go back to not-really-fitting-but-also-kind-of-fine. It's not ideal, but she was tolerating it. I had prior warning that my newest attempt to make it all fit had made it worse, but didn't quite get the message.

2. I've never had this issue or anything resembling it with this horse before. The horse wants to work with you and be in harmony. She was as unhappy as I was.

3. I handled it well. I might not want to do that again, ever, but we dealt with it pretty smoothly.

4. Let's work on some skills so we both have a few more de-escalation techniques in the bag.

5. The horse has been almost foot perfect on 99.9% of our hacks, despite being young and green.

I was happy enough with how she felt in the arena yesterday to find the gallus to say, 'screw it, let's hack' today, even though my original plan was to only hack in company for the rest of the week.

Like a few people have said, it is totally different (and bloody hard enough) when it's your own horse. I wouldn't have the balls to ride racehorses, so I am in total awe of you. It is very easy to let one pants day completely overshadow everything that's going well.

 

[Denali]

I don’t know if this has been mentioned and my experience comes from taking horses off the track. Your post reminded me of one in particular. He was a race horse. That’s it. When he got quick or hot and galloped I would follow, I wouldn’t fight it and then ask for what we should be doing. I put should be doing because I have zero clue how to train racers in the UK

By doing that, I one realized I could stay with him because he turned into an absolute machine. Very small movements on my part controlled the whole thing. It was like driving an F1 car. That gave me confidence.

If this isn’t applicable disregard, but sometimes following by riding it makes everything better.