Riding has became a chore

[charlie76]

I have watched the vids of your horse and I hope you don't think I am being harsh but his way of going, in particular the jumping, shouts of their being pain some where. Our horse was very similar, we had the vets look at him , x rays, scans, saddle checks ect. All said nothing was wrong. He was a total git at home but always performed at shows, prob due to excitement, adreline and his focus taken. However, he then started to misbehave away from home ( this took a long time to manifest) so I had a secon opinion and the horse does have a problem, 1/10th lame on both hind legs and has just been to the vets. He has damage to both hins supsensories. Vet thinks that this has been the cause of his behaviour all along. The lameness is so minimal and because it is both hind legs you would be hard pushed to see it.
I would suggest a second opinion as until you have explored all options you are not in a place to get upset with the horse.

 

[Prince33Sp4rkle]

firstly, cant believe that anyone thinks sending him away to be schooled ISNT a good idea! struggling on, on your own, wont make any sort of bond if he has no confidence in you....................trainers hat on-ive had several in for a week of schooling and its really been a long term turning point. everyone needs help, even edward gal himself has 2 sets of eyes on the ground for gods sake!

secondly-dont make he be what he isnt, its sounds like he hates hacking and finds games stressful so why do it, if he wants to be a sj/xc machine, then jump once a week, lunge a couple of times and do a light schooling session-plenty of GP sj horses do similar between shows.
my boy hates hacking and isnt big on jumping all the time but adores his dressage and gives that 150% so i dont force the other stuff on him, it wont keep him fresh by forcing him to do things that upset him.

im quite sure you can do this, but you need to look at what you want V what he wants and whether you can meet in the middle.

 

[vam]

I dont think anyone has said your not capable just sometime you need to look at things from a different view. I do know what you mean thou, wanting to prove people wrong is always an incentive to improve and keep going. That and being stubbon. Try not to get bogged down by it thou, there is nothing wrong with asking for help, trying something different and taking on board peoples ideas. Try not to dismiss things quite so quickly.
I do feel that you are getting a bit defensive about it all and have an excuse for everything that isnt quite the answer you want, im guilty of that and so are most of the posters on this forum at some pint or another. I think you are putting yourself under stress by feeling you have to improve him, ok you prob do but its not something to rush and it will al fall into place in its own time.
Not looking to put you down, im really not although i probally sound like a cow , you are a good rider but maybe steping back is the way forward.

 

[dafthoss]

First of all have a hug. I'm lacking motivation at the moment too so you are not alone. Could you have lessons a bit more often? Just for now while you are struggling, it may give you the boost you need. He is looking well from the photo tho. If it's any consolation I spent 2 hours doing shoulder in on my hack this morning I think the lack of fast work is taking it's toll on his brain and waist line

 

[Kokopelli]

I see what you mean vam having read back through my previous posts.

I wouldn't mind someone coming to ride him but I really don't think sending him away is a good idea. If anyone knows of anyone small enough and local I'm happy to investigate further.

 

[Gemsie]

Hiya,

Sorry I havent read this entire thread so I am not sure if anyone else may have already said similar.

About 8 months ago I was feeling the exact way you are, my horses behaviour was awful, I didnt enjoy riding, was often scared of her, I would only ride in the school because of her bucking, spooking, broncing, rearing, napping and general total bitch behaviour.

I was actually considering selling her, I have over 20 years experience and had never come across anything as impossible to move forward with.

Then in Feb, I took the plunge and called out Richard Maxwell for a 121 morning session, now it wasnt cheap - but I have to say it is without a shadow of a doubt the best 400 quid I have ever spent in my life.

Richard is amazing, but it is not an instant fix. He left me with the tools and tactics I needed to completley transform my relationship with my horse.

The journey has not been easy, and she still has her moments but she is a totally different horse in every way.

She is now a pleasure to handle, hack, jump, and her schooling is coming on leaps and bounds.

I am even starting to plan some outings with her in the next few weeks, just hiring places at first to get her confidence in new surroundings - but I am sure we will be able to do a dressage test or pop a small round of jumps by the end of the year (thats the aim!)

If you had said to me at the start of this year I would be looking forward to riding every day, and getting excited about the idea of competing on her - I honestly would have laughed in your face as the thought of even getting on used to fill me with dread about what might happen.

This is the most honest I have ever been about my horse - and its really odd to think that just 6 months ago I really didnt enjoy her - I cant wait to see her and ride now...

I cannot rate Richard highly enough. He completely saved my relationship with my horse and gave me the necessary for our relationship to flourish...

You wont regret it if you get him out (and No I dont work for him!)

Good luck

G
x

 

[smiffyimp]

Thanks for all the advice I'm 18 and have loads of help from my parents very good instructors and pony club.
I've been trying to do things totally different with him I took him to the beach a couple of weeks ago and we play mounted games occasionaly. I have various schools to ride in so try and keep it mixed up that way and try to make sure he is doing something different everyday.

I honestly don't want to sell him, he is an amazing little horse who can make me so happy. I love him to pieces and could never part with him, the thought makes me well up.

At competitions he is such a different horse he behaves is really chilled and is a pleasure to ride but at home/ instructors he is a complete arse. After being an arse though he works really nicely but if you give him a rest he goes through arseness again and then settles down.

He is absolutly fine physically, we've had various saddlers, back people, physios and the vet has come out a few times and they have all found nothing wrong and say he's just feeling well.

Exams aren't stressing me out honestly I'm quite relaxed about them (but not too relaxed) I can honestly say I'm a lot happier now then I have been in a long time so I don't understand where this lack of motivation is coming from.

Sometimes we all just need a time out. Mine usually comes about end Feb when im losing the will to live after winter, so I quite simply dont ride. I do what needs to be done, give the boys their cuddles and go home to a nice cold beer a few weeks later i'm all ready again and he's not been left so long that he is sooo unfit its a chore to get him up to scratch again. You will probably find your exams are having an effect. Ok youre not stressed by them, neither was I way back when...but they do play on your mind, theyre important and you probably have a head full of - but what if -going on. Also, the suns out - personally it makes me bone idle I just want to chill out, but as comp season is in full swing I have to kick my own backside into gear. Again end of season - I usually take a week or so off to relax - doesnt do the horse any harm either, sometimes they need their chill time too.
I dont know the history of your horse, but from what folks are saying youve done a super job, and just keep going with the help you get, it will come. XX

 

[vikkiandmonica]

Are you sure you're not trapped in a vicious circle? He plays up a little, you lose motivation and start to give up or get angry, that makes him worse, which then causes you to react in a certain way, and on it goes? See what I mean? You getting down yourself may be causing half the problems. I would just take a break, relax, and then start afresh in a week or 2. If you don't want to give him time off, which I think would be a good thing so he can relax, I would get someone else in to ride him, but at the minute, you riding him probably won't be doing either of you much good.

Sorry if this has already been said, haven't read all the posts

 

[Kokopelli]

Little update.

I had planned to give him some time off but when I got up the yard in the glorious sunshine I was invited out on a hack with Andy's field mate. I thought why not the timing was perfect and the other horse is a gem so wouldn't mind if Andy was silly.

We only planned to go down the road but the boys were behaving themseleves so we did a whole loop round through the fields and over the reservoir and he was so good and before I knew we had been out for an hour! I was in the snaffle!! He jogged a bit in the last 5 mins but settled down again quickly.

I think all I needed was a ride like this just to say riding can be enjoyable!

I now plan to make a diary sort of thing of his ridden work. When he behaves/ when he misbehaves and what we were doing. I think in the long run the majority will be him behaving but we'll see.

The only thing I did different today was take the breast plate off and put a neck strap on instead. This sounds ridiculous but could the breast plate some how be upsetting him which was making him play up?

 

[Gentle_Warrior]

you are not alone, everyone goes through it. Have a break from riding, either give him the time off or do otherthings with him e.g. lunge, groundwork

it will pass i promise

 

[dieseldog]

Little update.


The only thing I did different today was take the breast plate off and put a neck strap on instead. This sounds ridiculous but could the breast plate some how be upsetting him which was making him play up?

No, you went for a hack with his fieldmate, of course he is going to behave.

 

[Kokopelli]

I've been on a hack with the same field mate plenty of times and he has been a lot more excitable.

 

[mystiandsunny]

It has seemed all along that Andy's priorities in life, and what he enjoys, clash with yours. He doesn't seem to enjoy schooling or hacking, but you do. He loves to go fast, and to jump. You like the jumping, but not the going fast so much. To a degree, you're trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole.

If it's Andy you want, not dressage, school as much as you need for the jumping, take some rescue remedy and go for a good gallop regularly so he gets to let off steam, jump once a week at home and go to competitions. He probably wouldn't mind the hacking or get so wound up if he got to let his hair down on a regular basis.

I have one just like him in so many ways, out on loan. She would school but she hated it. She lived to jump, and to gallop, and to hack for hours, and she's gone to a teenager who wants to do just that. It was not admitting defeat by sending her away, but admitting that she didn't like the stuff I did.

 

[xspiralx]

I've been on a hack with the same field mate plenty of times and he has been a lot more excitable.

I'd guess its more to do with you having a more positive attitude about it all than the breastplate.

 

[Vickijay]

Ive not read all the thread but just thought I would add that my mare is always keen and bouncy and quirky (although not ever really naughty) and she will always power march wherever were going. Its just how she is and I have to accept that as shes so fab at other things. My answer to that is that when I have had a tough day and just want a quiet amble I leave her in the field and ponynapp a friends sensible horse!!

I understand why people say send him away for schooling but I like you wouldnt really want to do that, I can see the benefits but I wouldnt do it. Id far rather send us both to boot camp for daily lessons/help. I dont care if 40 million people could ride her better than I do, shes my horse! But I do sometimes have people send me their naughty ones so it does help in some peoples circumstances. I personally just wouldnt.

Dont beat yourself up. If you wanna ride him, ride him. If you dont then dont! Sometimes taking the pressure off is the most important thing. When my mare gets on my nerves (which does happen!!) I normally take her to jump somewhere and then I remember why I put up with the bouncy marchingness!!

 

[Wolfie]

Haven't read all the replies, but I would suggest popping him in the field for a couple of weeks for some downtime, and you can have a little break too. I turn my horse away for a few months in the winter, and am always glad to see the heels of him, and glad to bring him in again afterwards. We all feel frustrated sometimes, that's just horses, but you seem like you love the wee chap, so just step back from everything for a little bit and reevaluate

 

[paddi22]

i echo the other poster, he enjoys somethings, he doesn't like others, and either that's compatible with what you want to do, or its not a good fit for you. He likes what he likes, you like what you like, and if you will keep pissing eachother off.

My lad is a quirky nightmare, I would have loved to event him, but it doesn't suit him and it took a while but i accept that now and lowered my expectations of what i can do with him, and both of us are happier. But it was a conscious decision i made, and it was a difficult one. But he can't change his personality or expectations, so it was up to me to. If i had wanted it enough i'd have changed horse.

You have to step back and analyse your compatibility, and its nothing to do with you not 'loving' him enough, everyone loves their horse, but loving a horse doesn't make it a good match for you.

either you accept he will always be a quirky nightmare (like mine!) or you accept he is a bad match. Their are owners who will buy quirky nightmares (i'm proof!) but it doesn't mean they will magically transform the horse, they will just have expectations that match the horses abilities. For all you know there could be an owner there who will be happy to bomb around cross country. You sound like a very goal orientated person, so maybe a different horse would click better with you?

he sounds like my lad in that i have great days, and disaster days! but now i don't even worry about disaster days, cause its just part of the package with him!!