Riding nicely

MummyEms

MummyEms

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I have a daughter who is obsessed with her horse and loves him dearly. As do I.
However teenage hormones are running high amd I've noticed if she's having a bad day she'll show it slightly in her riding position. As in not sitting up nicely nor carrying herself properly. I'm having to pull her up on it. My question is a favour..

Please can you all list the reasons for sitting correctly, carrying yourself, sitting lightly and gracefully in the saddle, so I can show her. Incase I haven't thought of all of them.

She's 12 (but tall) going on 17!!
 
I'd be careful - if she's having a bad day, then adding to it by suggesting she's injuring her horse by riding poorly just adds guilt to her already poor mindset.
I know when I was a hormonal teenager, I always felt better for going for a blast on my pony - a good canter or gallop blows a lot of 'mind stuff' away. (And to be honest, still does!)
Can you try something like this?
If she's feeling better, she'll ride better.
 
spacefaer said:
I'd be careful - if she's having a bad day, then adding to it by suggesting she's injuring her horse by riding poorly just adds guilt to her already poor mindset.
I know when I was a hormonal teenager, I always felt better for going for a blast on my pony - a good canter or gallop blows a lot of 'mind stuff' away. (And to be honest, still does!)
Can you try something like this?
If she's feeling better, she'll ride better.
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Really kind & helpful thought thank you
 
Is it just that her position isn't great or that she's riding in a way that would detriment her pony? (Not saying she's being abusive or anything like that). If it's just her position I completely agree with Spacefaer but if you think it's confusing the pony or something like that then maybe suggesting on a good day that when she is having a stressful day she could alter what she does with the pony to something like a hack or some fast work instead of schooling to take the pressure off both of them.
 
Surbie said:
Is she slumping from pain herself? I had hideous PMS as a teenager and unsympathetic parents (not saying you are, but I was told to just get on with things)
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/\ this - or does she need a good supportive bra? is she self conscious about the changes happening to her body and slumping to hide her chest or hold them if there a bit tender.

Being 12/13 wasn't fun for me. I was awkward and self conscious and my mother was the least understanding person. Back in the day when the only colour jodpher was biege :eek: or at least the only colour my mother bought me.
 
If your daughter is having physical reactions to hormones or growth stuff, maybe it's better to just leave her instead of making it an issue. at that age horse riding should be about fun not about perfection. Plenty of horses and ponies survive having hormonal teenagers on them with bad positions at times. I know at her age horse riding was my happy place and my outlet from stress, and I would have absolutely hated my mother intruding on it. I remember going through fatigue, cramps and just bad pms as a teen and im sure my position wasn't great at times, but I would have found it very stressful to have someone pulling me up on it at the time.
 
MummyEms said:
As in not sitting up nicely nor carrying herself properly.
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I dont particularly believe in proper riding. I had a few rides as a teenage treat and we simply sat on the horse. And were instructed to tell the horse things - so it was all about communication. Never what we looked like.
dorsetladette said:
this - or does she need a good supportive bra? is she self conscious about the changes happening to her body and slumping to hide her chest or hold them if there a bit tender.
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I had a year's lessons aged 60 without anyone mentioning bras, nor asking whether I had had breast operations. Luckilly for me, when I started to hack, my young escort told me that her father was very concerned about supportive bras and before letting me canter, she sent me off to buy sports bras, in which I still ride.

Like some others here I am a sack of potatoes rider. I sit on the horse and relax. By relaxing, I allow the horse freedom of movement. But I also get more feed back from the horse so that eventually a shift of weight will cue the horse. If your daughter's slumping is hindering the horse, possibly she may be slightly scared of speed? Or scared of canter. But if she and the horse are both happy and she is safe, I wouldnt worry.

If you want to encourage more organised riding, down load some easy dressage tests. Having to concentrate and steer the horse, does wonders for ones position. But I did the opposite, especially in summer. I would pretend to be a child in a pony book and just have fun.
 
I read something about how the balance and co-ordination of teenagers can be very much affected by the fact they are growing and changing shape.
So day by day and month by month, their points of balance and control of their bodies are not quite where they were previously. This can account for some of the clumsiness and lack of co-ordination that some teenagers exhibit. If you think how critical it is to have a sense of your own balance points when riding, I can see how this adds extra challenge for young people. At the same time it may be why they learn so well at that age because they can adapt their bodies as they develop.

I know what you mean about using their body position on their horse to communicate their moods. I think that's to do with the close emotional connection with the horse that may set them more close to their own emotions. What I was taught - you cannot control your horse if you cannot control your own body - that can be both mentally or physically - and you must have the emotional control to never take out your feelings on your horse.
Horses are sensitive, and they do not want a sulky lump sitting on them.
 
Squeak said:
Is it just that her position isn't great or that she's riding in a way that would detriment her pony? (Not saying she's being abusive or anything like that). If it's just her position I completely agree with Spacefaer but if you think it's confusing the pony or something like that then maybe suggesting on a good day that when she is having a stressful day she could alter what she does with the pony to something like a hack or some fast work instead of schooling to take the pressure off both of them.
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Couldn't agree more with this - set her up to win. If she's tired or feeling down do something easy and low pressure. Being a teenager is hard (I'm saying this from memory of being one myself!)
 
Thanks to all of you. No she is never riding badly in a way that isn't fair on her horse, just sitting heavily / slumped when she's feeling grumpy. She loves riding him and we keep our horses at home so there's zero pressure to ride. We hack and box out to fun places regularly which she really loves
 
It's great that there is no pressure to ride as that can sometimes cause issues in itself - if you did want to cross the bridge about her position - I'd wait till she is having a good day, go somewhere you both enjoy (maybe a fave coffee shop or something?) and have a chat where it's away from the horses and you can both think and discuss everything calmly - although from experience, the conversation can either go great or absolutely badly, so personally I'd leave the position chat to her instructor x

If you do want to have a chat to her though, I would look at the following (this is what my Mum, who isn't horsey in the slightest, said to me when I was a teenager and it stuck with me ever since) :

I would ask her if there is any way that you can help her feel more comfortable when riding cause she you understand that she is growing, and with everything that comes from growing, you also understand how painful/uncomfortable it can be. I'd then also mention that you want to make sure she is happy as possible when riding, as you've noticed that sometimes she seems a little down. I'd also add that you know that she adores riding and you want to make that as enjoyable as possible for her, even when she doesn't feel particularly great x You could also suggest going for a blast rather than schooling if that is the sort of thing that she would prefer to do on days when she isn't feeling 100% x
 
Skib said:
From my RI's comments and my own experience, I dont think it is a good idea to go for a blast when one is not feeling 100%. That is when accidents happen.
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Totally understandable - from my personal experience however, going for a blast providing that you are aware of what could happen is just the medicine that is needed occasionally x My RI always insisted upon schooling no matter what, which actually made me feel worse when I wasn't feeling 100% - but I understand that everyone is an individual, with different experiences etc :) x
 
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