Roll up Judges & Stewards...your funny experiances please

[Kenzo]

Well there's some funny posts about today and while everything is light and airy and everyone is in fabby moods and game for a chukkle why not carry on.

Come on judges and stewards, let those skeletons out of the closet and share some of your most memorable judging experiences and what you have encounter from competitors

...from being tanked off round the ring while riding someone's horse....abuse from spectators or competitors, funny stories...been kicked/bitten? strange combinations of tack/horse & rider/ dress code...anything that will give us chuckle that has happened to you while judging!

 

[_OC_]

I am no judge....however while I had my mare on full livery,the yard did a show once a year which was heavily attended.....was a popular show!
I stewarded with my friend who would do the Mountain and Moorland classes,and the YO asked me to judge the 'Prettist(sp) Mare' class which she put fun classes in,so everyone could go home with something!

I so did not want to do it

and she smiled at me and said the following,'Let me give you a tip,once you have placed them all....... RUN

' ........... I did,straight into my stable!

 

[YorkshireLass]

Where to start!

Judging driving....

People who enter and can't even hold the reins correctly. I mean, you wouldn't enter a best rider class if you couldn't hold the reins correctly, so why do they think they can enter a driving class and drive like a pikey!

I have seen plenty of potentialy lethal harnesses and dangerously put too horses. Most memorable was the man whos reins were so cracked worn and old that they were about to break. I demonstrated this by replacing a rein with a lunge line and then snapping his rein with ease... scary!

Displays of vulgarity.... why on earth would anyone think it is a good idea to take the candle out of your carriage lamp and replace it with an arrangement of fake flowers?

Whilst stewarding a Heavy Horse class...

Imagine the scene, doddery old men showing their Shire and Clydesdale young stock. Its a big class and the judge is taking his time. So the organisers of the show decide it would entertain the croud if they send the Bagpipe and Drum band in to the ring at the same time as the class is being judged. It was better entertainment than anything you would pay £20 to go and see! The Clyde babies set off, dragging arthritic old farmers on ropes.

Not Judging the hounds....
The Huntsmen were supposed to do a couple of laps of the ring before judging started so that the croud could get a close up look. The hounds completed half a lap and then gave tounge... fecked off and besieged the Hog Roast stall. The ladies in charge of the hog roast ran away and the still hot suckling pigs were carried away to a nearby wood and devoured by hounds. I never did get to judge the hounds that day. However, it did much for the hunting cause, manily for the sheer entertainment value.

Apart from that, every year you get a percentage of the limping, desiesed, gormless, cruel, vulgar and plain wrong on display, but it wouldn't be half so much fun if they stayed at home!

 

[tinker88]

well seen as im a "young judge" or younger than most anyway .......

the childrens "dads" always seem to want to make friends.

they come over and ask if im thirst, and turn up with sweets, cakes, etc and say you look tired/thirsty etc thought you might like .....

also very flirty!!! not sure if this is to make sure there child does better or what but always makes me smile anyway.

 

[Kenzo]

Bravo bravo (little clap on my behalf there) both very amusing and interesting too.

I can't get over the amount of children that swear like troopers, I was next to the SJ ring last time and honestly I learnt a whole new vocabulary, I'm not kidding my ears needed washing out before I went home lol!

and I'm talking children on 13.2 ponies etc so there weren't exactly stoppy teans or adults.

Another occasion was judging an equitation class, rules specifically stated snaffle only, in came one young madam (referring to her a a little madam due to her poor attitude) really politely asked if she noticed that the class was snaffle only as she entered the ring and that she would be breaking the rules etc, gave her the chance to bob and change it while waiting for the rest of the class to come in. She shrugged her shoulders, gave me a dirty look and said she'd carry on in that bit that her cob is shown in.
So I let her do her bit, but obviously did not place her but due to the numbers in the class she came about 5th where a rosette was given, again commented on her good riding , but said I'm sorry but because you have broken the rules I have had to place you last etc (I could of asked her to leave the ring but being the nice person I am let her do her bit) well she didn't even wait until she left the ring after the lap of honour before she slagged me off to one of her friends that as in the same class and how on earth could I of put her last as she was the best etc etc.

Ponies with over grown feet and badly shod (or should I say in desperate need of the farrier!)

Children with hacking/riding jackets that are about 3 times bigger than what they need, ok so kids grow fast and yes, buy a size that will last them but looking like you've still got the coat hanger inside and the bottom of the jacket is flapping around near your knees.. takes it a bit too far.

Horses and riders that look like they have literally just been thrown together and then junked into the ring, jackets open, ties flapping around, sweaty horses that have just been dragged of the ramp and the tack thrown on, not had chance to warm up etc...late for classes, sorry but that is not our fault, why should everyone else stand about waiting, if you don't have chance to get ready correctly, warm up, let you horse settle, then don't enter, try and be more prepared next time or try another class later on.

People entering 4 year old ponies/horses in WH classes that aren't even schooled let alone can jump! ...talk about asking for a mirical!...then proceed to beating the poor animal over the fence!

why mum and dad shout at them from the side lines 'gerit ova gu on you can do it'' when I really feel so sorry for the pony, the little person on board that with proper lessons and a pony suited to their ability would get so much more out of showing/jumping if they only had the right guidence and tought properly, i just want to take them under my wing and help them!

Sorry that might of sounded like a rant but I do mean it in comical light hearted way.

 

[ajn1610]

Someone who didn't have a proper jacket obviously so had opted for a tweed suit jacket, it was bright blue, purple and yellow check and about four sizes too small. She was very busty and had attracted a size able male fan club I felt the need to avert my eyes!

 

[henryhorn]

Judging dressage at a small riding club show.
First competitor enters arena for Prelim test.
Proceeds to go round so fast, trots were races, canters were gallops, and then halts, spins on the spot and gallops out of the arena jumping the boards as she went..
Me and the writer looked at each other in horror, we had about three comments down and less marks as it had mesmerised the pair of us...
We made them up......

ps time on test was something like 4 and a half mins, she did it in one and a half.....

 

[Tiffany]

I was stewarding at an agricultural show for a gay judge and he was judging Arabs in hand. I asked one guy to walk away and trot back and then the judge said 'Could you ask him to do it again please, I was looking at him not the horse'