Rude judge

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DIESELSUPERSTAR

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Where to start...
Myself and my sister are very amateur, don't care about winning or loosing but just like taking our 2 coloured boys out and about and using them to their full potential. I should mention that my sister is a nervous wreck, she is one of these people who have major panic attacks about things which others may not even notice.

So this summer after 4 years, I finally managed to get her to do an in hand show with her beautiful boy, Patrick. The first show she did she got 2nd and was over the moon, so we entered fishguard show in pembrokeshire. She even entered the ridden!!

So we drove an hour to the show ground and my sister was excited and ready to compete, when our class was called we walked our boys down to the ring together.

As soon as we were in the ring the judge came over and started shouting 'get away from that stallion, I won't have kicking on my watch' neither me or my sister knew what she was on about so carried on, judge carries on shouting and pointing at my sister- she thought my gelding was a stallion! My sister Obviosuly didn't realise the judge was talking to her untill she came right up to her shouting because Patrick and diesel are field buddies and wouldn't kick each other. This first incident had but my sister on edge.

When it came to judge time I was in 2nd and my sister in 3rd. I walked up to do my individulal show and the judge said hello, so I replied hello. To which I got 'dont you ever speak to a judge like that again, its good morning or good afternoon'. Well that shut me up.

My sisters turn next to which she said ' come on paddy' and then clicked her tongue twice to awaken the old man. Well the judges response was 'ugh don't do that you sound like a gypsy' - might I add that we were in a coloured class and both first and 2nd place were gypsy cobs!!!! This to me is a disgusting way to behave. We have no problems with gypsies so don't feel offended by that, its the fact that the judge meant it in a derogoratory way.

Needless to say my sister was in tears and couldn'tt hack any more abuse, so ran out of the ring. Judge now screaming 'how dare she leave without my permission, get her back now!'

I tried to explain that she was a nervous person and that she was very upset and the judge put her hand up in my face to tell me to shut up!!!!

We complained on the day and got money back and severe apologies and also the knowledge that we weren't the first complaint about this judge and that she would not be asked back next year. I was hoping to take it further but have heard that anyone can be a judge and you don't have to be licensed or anything so this horrible woman can walk about thinking she's gods gift just because she's a judge for one day.

My sister will not show again, I've tried but its a big no no! As a total novice in the sphere I am disgusted that someone can be so up their own back side and treat people in such a way. I'm trying to get to the top with my young traditional and hope that its not always such a horrible atmosphere! Can't we all just enjoy our horses!?!
 
I didn't want to read and run, and its awful how you were treated, but there are people like that in world in general.
At least the show had the sense to refund you.

Maybe get your sister to come and groom for you at a few shows and see if you can get her back in that way! Good luck
 
Absolutely no excuse for such rudeness!!!! What goes around comes around! Really feel for your sister- hopefully over time she will feel brave enough to try again
 
Yep experinced some rude judges when on commitee of riding club but there are equally alot of nice ones. 2 gentlemen judges we had back year in year out were the loviliest kind judges always encouraging and advising our members. lol 1 even gave our tiny young handlers a lesson on his lunch break. tell your sisteras hard as it will be to forget that judge and try again. There are some lovely lovely judges out there:)
 
Terrible behaviour from a judge.
Does your sister have any help for her nerves? She sounds incredibly sensitive, I don't mean to offend but has she seriously thought about seeking counselling? Yes, the judge was very unpleasant but I can't imagine life being much fun if things like this affect people to that extent.
Perhaps she would really benefit from talking to someone about it?
 
What a cow the judge is! There is no place for rudeness, unfortunatly a lot of people haven't been brought up with manners. I'm so glad you complained and i hope your sister finds the strength to have another go.
 
I don't think any of this is unbelieveable at all, having met some really horrible people in the showring (exhibitors and judges/stewards). It's sad; most of the people I've met have been lovely but the ones who aren't sort of stick in my memory a bit.
 
Patterdale said:
Terrible behaviour from a judge.
Does your sister have any help for her nerves? She sounds incredibly sensitive, I don't mean to offend but has she seriously thought about seeking counselling? Yes, the judge was very unpleasant but I can't imagine life being much fun if things like this affect people to that extent.
Perhaps she would really benefit from talking to someone about it?
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To be honest she sounds a bit like me! I think I would have been in tears too. Perhaps i wouldnt have given up, but i would have been mortified and upset.
Thankfully we've only ever had wonderful and helpful judges at our shows. Hopefully you'll have a better time next time!
 
Really good advice.. Personally I wouldn't force your sister into the show situation until she can get some help for her anxiety levels as the show ring can be very tense & its better she is relaxed in what she is doing... Maybe try some fun rides over the winter where there is zero pressure..
Patterdale said:
Terrible behaviour from a judge.
Does your sister have any help for her nerves? She sounds incredibly sensitive, I don't mean to offend but has she seriously thought about seeking counselling? Yes, the judge was very unpleasant but I can't imagine life being much fun if things like this affect people to that extent.
Perhaps she would really benefit from talking to someone about it?
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I think I'd have done the same as your sister, only I'd have given the judge some advice, two words beginning and ending with F.

It'd be a shame for your sister to miss out, so why not get her to come as a groom for you so she can become more confident at shows without any pressure. Perhaps the two of you could help out at the local RC, get to know everyone and then doing some classes wouldn't be quite so daunting for your sister.

There are some lovely judges, you were so unlucky to meet such an awful woman. I guess she upsets people where ever she goes.
 
Sounds horrible and you were really unlucky. It's rare to mean such nasty people.

Ditto Patterdale though; your sister needs to get some help with her confidence as it'll be affecting her life. The fact she just ignored the judges initial 'warning' (rant) about the 'stallion' because she was too shy to speak up won't have helped in the slightest. Most people would have faced the judge and ask 'who, me?!' By ignoring the judge she'll have come across as rude and arrogant. Plus there are always bullies in the world and by being a shy and nervous doormat, you just attract them.
 
I have also met some wonderful judges over my first summer, particularly the stewards and judge at pembrokeshire county show who made me feel right at home! I agree showing is stressful but as I said we do it for fun and dont expect to be abused to that extent!!!
I have been coaxing her to go to the doctors for a long time and to my delight she made an appointment last week so hopefully they will help.
her horse is such a good horse and helps her enormously, he has been there and done it ALL and i think he helps her with her worries. She is actually very knowledgable with horses, she just doesn't deal with conflict at all. I am hoping she will join me at rc this winter and maybe start doing some intro level dressage and build up her confidence in a much calmer situation!!!
thanks :-)
 
Kallibear, we didn't ignore the judge, my sister did ask if she was talking to her but the judge carried on shouting at her, we were slow to react because there was NO stallion in the ring or anywhere near the ring. My sister does struggle in life with her problems but anyone being shouted at and abused would have found that situation a little testing! My point is I couldn't believe someone with that behaviour was allowed to judge anything, especially as we are all young and inexperienced, trying our best. Maybe in a massive show like hoys where its much more serious and the competitiors have had to qualify, then judging should be done a little more seriously and etiquette should be better... But in a local show? That's unexeptable.
 
I really hope it works out for her. Tell her she isnt alone. i had to leave ring once in ridden class as panic attack from nerves. Judge allowed me back in to do a show at end and was lovely explaining i would have been placed and really boosted my comfidence. thete are good nice judges i promise your sister x
 
Kallibear said:
Sounds horrible and you were really unlucky. It's rare to mean such nasty people.

Ditto Patterdale though; your sister needs to get some help with her confidence as it'll be affecting her life. The fact she just ignored the judges initial 'warning' (rant) about the 'stallion' because she was too shy to speak up won't have helped in the slightest. Most people would have faced the judge and ask 'who, me?!' By ignoring the judge she'll have come across as rude and arrogant. Plus there are always bullies in the world and by being a shy and nervous doormat, you just attract them.
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This - It sounds as though the judge was misunderstood - by both you & your sister.
If corrected at the greeting for saying hello the correct response would have been "sorry, Good Morning" and to be honest I'm not sure why you got entries refunded? Would you have expected a refund if the horse had misbehaved?
Glad to hear your sister is getting help but if she went to pieces in this situation is dressage really a good idea?
 
DIESELSUPERSTAR said:
Kallibear, we didn't ignore the judge, my sister did ask if she was talking to her but the judge carried on shouting at her, we were slow to react because there was NO stallion in the ring or anywhere near the ring. My sister does struggle in life with her problems but anyone being shouted at and abused would have found that situation a little testing! My point is I couldn't believe someone with that behaviour was allowed to judge anything, especially as we are all young and inexperienced, trying our best. Maybe in a massive show like hoys where its much more serious and the competitiors have had to qualify, then judging should be done a little more seriously and etiquette should be better... But in a local show? That's unexeptable.
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That kind of behavior isn't acceptable even at HOYS!

It sounded like your sister just ignored the judge initially? I've seen it before with shy people; they don't know how to deal with a situation so they just ignore it and come across as rude and arrogant. The judge didn't know your sister is cripplingly shy and will have just thought she was being deliberately ignored. Doesn't excuse her behaviour in the slightest but makes it a little more understandable. Anyone would have found it unsettling but it's how you cope and deal with it.

I'm glad your sister is going to get help. Do make sure it's someone understanding as not all doctors are patient and may just tell her (or think loudly) to get a grip. Hopefully she'll gain more confidence and grow a thicker skin as you can't go through life being a delicate wilting flower.
 
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This is really terrible, I hope the judge takes the complaints onboard and tones it down in the future! Unless she thinks she's Anna Wintour of the horse world or something.

And it doesn't matter if someone has anxiety issues and whether the judge was correct or not, hounding a person who is visibly upset is unacceptable no matter what the situation.
 
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I do hope your sister finds her brave pants and has another go with her horse. As I do some judging myself I see all sorts of different people and horses and always try to accommodate them whatever their needs may be, from nervous beginner to the ignorant person that takes no heed of what has been asked of them. Another bugbear for me is the judges that don't watch every competitor do their show, they have paid their money and I will watch them again and again if they have entered my classes, quietly hoping that maybe they took on board any comment I may have made and they gain a better placing next time.
 
A few years back I was at a local riding club show and went down to watch a ridden veteran class. I knew one of the ponies in it and had previously been introduced to his new rider, a pleasant young teenage girl who wasn't the most confident person in the world and had only been riding for a matter of weeks, plus this was her first show. She did a good job and got walk, trot and canter successfully although it was plain to see that she was a novice rider. The judge announced very loudly (everyone outside the ring could hear it) that she had no right to be in the class as she was such a poor rider. The poor girl was humiliated and left the ring in tears. The family made a complaint to the organizers and were backed up by a number of witnesses who were just as disgusted. The poor kid was so proud and thrilled to have a pony to care for even if he was in his mid-twenties and her riding was coming on very nicely. She was already sensitive because her parents had recently split up. It was all just completely unnecessary, unprofessional and plain cruel.
 
So sorry to read about your sisters experience.

I wonder if she would benefit from some support seeing the Dr. It can be really hard for nervous people to explain themselves. Another option is for your sister to write down how she feels and what is going badly for her so she has some sort of Prompt to explain herself when she sees the Dr.

The idea of just going with you and helping you is a good idea, I gave up putting myself through the agonies of competing years ago but love going out with my sister and her horse when they compete, I get far more pleasure without putting myself through feeling sick and ill.
 
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