Rude new girl!

M

Morrigan_Lady

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18 December 2006
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www.teamterrellshowjumping.co.uk

How would you go about telling a rude new livery to stop acting like she owns the place?

She moans that she cant afford to buy anything (even feed!!) so just uses every one elses stuff without even asking. But the other day we all get up the yard and she's bought her horse a hood that cost £30, when the day b4 she was moaning about how much a wheel borrow costs and shes not spending £25 on a mucking out folk!! She took my wheel barrow the other day and just walked striaght past me on the yard with it
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Now, I dont want to sound petty, coz it IS just a wheel barrow, but the fact that I was there, she could have asked me.
Our yard is really friendly and we all get on really well, but she stomps on the yard every night, looking miserable without a word, not even an 'hello!'
Then last night I was in the indoor school and she just turns up (with her brat of a child!) and just comes in!! No, 'Please may I join you' or 'Can I come in' Oh no, she just marches in without a word and gets on with it. Doesnt know school rules, no left to lefting, lucky Archie's jump off turns work well when we are about to collid! Then she leaves (with screaming brat), and again, not a word, its polite to let some one no you are leaving the arena, but nothing, not even a good bye, Im leaving now!

We're all hoping she wont last long and leave, but how can I go about telling her to lean some manners?!
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Sorry, Ive gone on abit, just needed a rant! Cookies for getting to the end!
 
Really dont have time for people like this, cannot stand people not asking to borrow stuff as for taking without asking well that really gets my back up.... I cant really offer much advice as people like this i tend to avoid and not speak to much well really as little as possible.

hope you get sorted
 
you can't without falling out, mark all your stuff, and if being used ask for back...straight away and get some huge ear plugs..............
some folks are just rude..........
 
You just need to say something - along the lines of 'please ask if you want to borrow something of mine, I don't mind if you are stuck but you need to get yor own mucking out tools' or alternatively ' this feed and these tools are mine and I don't lend them out'
Nothing hard about that.....
 
If someone interupted one of my schooling sessions like that I don't think I would be able to stop myself from making a comment about how it would be nice if she asked first! Next time she nicks your wheelbarrow, I'd be tempted to ask for it back straight away and just say something like 'sorry, i'm just about to use MY wheelbarrow. Why don't you ASK if you can borrow somebody else's?' In pointed tones - you never know, she may get the hint - but she won't like you for it!
 
Drill a hole through the wheel of your barrow, stick a chain through and padlock it! She won't walk off with it then! I did that once, it backfired on me, the culprit beat it to death with a sledge hammer!

Start borrowing her stuff, riding in the school with her unasked?

Ask her if she has a problem as she always seems so miserable?
 
The borrowing of your things would annoy me but her using the school would not be a problem for me. All the liveries on our yard share a school. No-one would have to "ask" to join in
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Maybe she is using her rudeness as a defense mechanism, if she is a bit nervous around new people? Maybe she was at a yard before where everyone behaved like that? Would it be worth having a 'friendly chat' with her explaining how the yard normally works? If you go in on the agressive, you will only make her worse, and then you'll never get along. It might be worth a try to do it in a friendly way first - if she doesn't change her ways then you can tell her to get lost!
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I am the sort who would be very straight with her (not rude or anything) and tell her to ask before borrowing anything of mine, or anyone elses if she hasn't asked - it is for her own good before she becomes very unpopular.

Does she know the yard rules/etiquette?

Failing that, RANT!
 
Regarding use of the school, it is really down to the YM to speak to her, and maybe while she's at it, ask her to mention about 'borrowing' others people's property.
 
Maybe she is new to horse owning or has been on a ram shackle yard in the past with no rules or manners (and some people are so laid back that they wouldn't find this stuff annoying - although I would!). Perhaps a gentle word in her ear before you go in all guns blazing?
 
Perhaps a friendly first of all, it could just be that her last yard wasn't as close knit as you are on your yard.

If that doesn't work then the straight approach - i.e. please ask before borrowing / I'm afraid I don't lend my equipment to other yard members etc. Plus ensure everything is marked up with your / your horse's name.

If all that fails and everyone else on the yard is feeling the same way, then perhaps you should all talk to the YM and get her / him to talk to this person.

Good Luck!
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I dont mind anyone borrowing my stuff BUT hate it when i go to use something and its not there!! I have taken 3 barrows up to the yard (my husband seems to collect them!! i have 2 new ones sat in the garden at the mo!!) People do borrow my things but i will not let anyone use my grooming kits, each of my horses have their own and i do not use them on the others, someone did and i was not impressed so guess what she got for xmas??? yep a grooming kit!! and my husband told her it was because i was fed up of her using my stuff (bless him!) I would def say something...
 
Oooh I would have to say something to her. I don't mind anyone borrowing my stuff as long as they ask first. She reminds me a little of somone I know actually and I do sympathise with you. Does everyone else feel the same?
 
[ QUOTE ]
You just need to say something - along the lines of 'please ask if you want to borrow something of mine, I don't mind if you are stuck but you need to get yor own mucking out tools' or alternatively ' this feed and these tools are mine and I don't lend them out'
Nothing hard about that.....

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm with the watcher on this one. I'd go up and probably introduce myself if you havent already than ask her if she realised she is using your stuff and that this is a DIY yard so she needs to have her own.

She sounds absolutely delightful (note sarcastic tone)...good luck!
 
I totally agree about the 'borrowing' of things and just coming in the school without saying anything,i would put 'please return' on your barrow,broom etc that works well at our yard as it reminds anyone who has used it to put it back where they got it from.Just to let you know it isn't a crime to bring a 'brat' down the yard,i very rarely bring my little boy to the yard as most yards arn't really child friendly but when i have to i have to, i am a very considerate livery and cause no trouble,just seemed a bit off to call her child a 'brat' IMO. I am not the biggest fan of children either and i have one!
 
I can sympathise with her to some degree. I have always obeyed school rules and have never used other peoples stuff but I have been in situations where I wasn't sure how things worked and I can see her if she was already stressed etc at not saying anything. The yard I ride at at the moment has a rule where we shout DOOR when we are entering or leaving the school so that anyone inside knows that someone is entering or leaving but we don't have to ask permission to ride with someone else in the school. Also she may not know the school rules.

I was in a situation recently where I was passing left to left witha pupil of one of the instructors and the girl almost went into me (I was on the track and she wasn't). she could easily see where I was going and just didn't take any notice, anyway the instructor shouted at me to get off the track and didn't I know the rules, I just replied calmly that what I was obeying the rules precisely and that her pupil was the one breaking them so not my fault. However obviously the pupil did not know the rules (or at least momentarily forgot them as she was no novice) so no hard feelings.

In terms of her borrowing your stuff I would simply padlock your grooming kit and tack etc. Personally I don't see the harm in borrowing a wheelbarrow and fork but I admit that she should have asked when she saw you. Maybe next time just ask her when she'll be finished with it as you need to use it and that should make her embarrased enough to ask next time. Hope this helps
 
You've just go to be straight with her. Tell her you things are not there for everyone else to use - so can she leave them alone. That includes your feed.

As for her entering the school when you were in it - well to be honest, I wouldn't have asked for your permission either - surely it's available for all liveries to use? And being on livery unfortunately means you don't get exclussive use of it when it suits you.
 
i would hate that.
taking/stealing peoples feed cos she cant afford it?!i would actually speak to her about it.
cant you put your stuff in your own lock ups and padlock them in?!
if it didnt improve i would speak to YO about her.
 
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