rude yard owner... time to move on?

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Clarebear*

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Hi all feeling torn as to whether I should move yards or not.. my current yard owner does have a bad reputation but I figured I would keep my self to myself follow the rules and everything would be fine. However for the last 2 months she has been a bit off with me with no explanation, this week though I have recceived rude messages, been bitched about to other livery owners, been called a ****ing bitch and been completley ignored even when ive said hello ( I am 17 by the way and yard owner is 53)... yet the yard owner cannot say 1 wrong thing I have done. Is it time to move, or should I stay and see if things improve, I can move to a lovely uard next sat although I dont really want to leave my friends I just dont enjoy going to the yard anymore. What do you think?
 
We pay a lot of money for our horses so you should be able to enjoy them. If your not enjoying going to the yard anymore then I would move. You will always make new friends and can still meet up with old ones for hacks etc.

If you really don't want to go then ask YO nicely if you have done anything to upset her as you feel she has been a bit off with you. Just be polite about it so as not to make matters worse. It might be enough to either make her back off (she may not realise she is being so rude) or explain to you what she is upset about so you can either apologise or explain why you did what you did. Chances are you probably haven't done anything but she is taking things out on you because your young and are less likely to stand up to her.
 
OP having put up with a situation like this for over three years, and I am quite a lot older than you, please move on Saturday!!! I didn't , I thought it would get better.... It never did, it just got worse! I lost friends because of it and I used to feel physically sick most of the time.
 
Yes, just move. Theres no point in paying money to put up with that when you go up to your horse. Some YOs I've noticed will pick on anyone who is a little bit different. As in you are younger. I've been at a yard where I got picked on because I was the only one who rode my horse and competed. So I took my custom elsewhere. Its meant to be enjoyable!
 
It does not matter whether you HAVE done something wrong. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle disputes. It is totally unprofessional behaviour.

Unfortunately, you cannot teach people integrity. In my experience,
all the discussions in the world won't help in the long run. Just make sure your own behaviour is immaculately polite and leave with dignity. Firstly, it will protect your reputation. Secondly, it will really irritate her :-)
 
Id move to the other yard this woman is a bully and a bully to a child aswel it is totally unacceptable what she is doing to you, and to anyone else. We had some not even on our yard years ago and used fbk etc to bully even though they had never met me once and they did it yo a few others its disgusting how grown adults can act
 
We used to be on a yard where the owners 18yr old daughter was a livery .The parents were totally unhorsey and took the guidance of their daughter who was a very vindictive little girl .If she thought she could get someone in trouble she would .It wasn't a nice atmosphere as you were always on tenderhook .Said daughter used to come into tea room and then feed gossip to her parents . They used to interfere on a personel level ....Ie someone once used the yard kettle to make a poltice when vets was called and she forgot to put it back .this was almost a chucking off offence .There were several people chucked off whilst we were there some for the right reasons ....but there was one particular person that was a trouble maker ,everyone knew this and gave her a wide berth .We were polite but didn't get involved ,she told blatant lies to try and get people in trouble she was the golden girl .!!
 
I own a small livery yard and never understand this whole bitchy thing? Like others have said definitely just move but be picky where you go- before we got our own yard we had always been on DIY yards and after numerous horrible experiences we took completely different approach on our own place- part and full livery and I only let people move here who I think will get along with the liveries we already have- I have turned many people down as I want to keep our yard friendly/fun somewhere everyone can enjoy their horses- personally I can spot a 'think they know it all' a mile away and these are the ones that cause trouble stiring and interfering with other people's business! Take your time and find a yard where there's liveries similar to yourself, happy hackers, competition etc. good luck and remember it is a hobby and meant to be fun so make the most of it :)
 
I'd say move too! Same thing happened to me. YO was a great friend and still is, but when she moved YM took over. We got along ok and I even helped her out more than anyone else, mucking out horses other than Ned and helping with the riding school etc.
Then, she started taking complete advantage and went off the rails if I dared say I couldn't meet all these demands. I've not mentioned this before, but she even let her daughter ride Ned without my permission :O :O

I moved once, but Ned said no and ran all the way home!! I went back for a few months, but it was hell. I struck gold and found my field! I couldn't believe it. It's 2mins from home and I don't have to put up with anyone else :D

Good luck! It's horribly depressive staying at such a yard :( I hope you get out soon!
 
OP I'm so sorry you've been treated like this. As a YO myself (AND aged 53 to boot:)) I am particularly shocked, and appalled.

MOVE!!! And don't worry about making new friends at another yard because you will........ as others have said, horses are meant to be fun and frankly if this woman is abusive to you, to your face, while you are there, then personally I'd be worried about what abuse she could be levelling at the horses in her care.

So get away from there as fast as you can; and don't feel guilty or look back and feel it was your fault. This woman sounds a very nasty piece of work and you will be doing yourself, and your horse, a favour if you get away from there soonest. There ARE some good YO's out there; not all of us are like this (I hope:)), and some of us DO like provide a supportive environment for young people to have fun with their horses.
 
Move. There are other yards, much nicer yard owners and not only is keeping a horse too expensive for it not to be enjoyable, but life is far too short to be putting up with such unacceptable treatment.

Head up girl . . . you are worth far better than this.

P
 
Sounds just like my last yard, i moved in december, and i had gone out of my way to be helpful turning her horses out, buying her smokes, getting her horse feed, mucking out when she was once again tired(from doing nothing), she didnt work, lived off her husbands income. Couldnt keep liveries apart from her 3 stooges which were personal friends of hers.

Moved to what i thought was a lovely yard, nice stables, then winter really set in suddenly you cant turn out, but she can in her precious field which has good drainage and is big enough for them to all go in, but no only hers, so you opt to use the sand school, suddenly her two are in there, then you can turn out in the field at the top but you have to walk through 3 fields full of bog which has been churned up by the quad bike to get to the field. The mian electric gates always left open, so two of my ponys had a womder down the main road, got out of the aw arena, ym is a young lady who has no idea how to,run a yard, her parents are lovely and if they were in charge all would be fine. Put it this way when i arrived there were only 2 liveries, then my 3, one of the liveries left, and i am going at the end of feb. Prospective people come and have a look and thats as far as it goes, they dont bring their horses.

Sorry didnt mean to hijack your thread, but i feel being a livery is similar to paying to go on holiday, you want what you are paying for and if it was a holiday you would complain soon enough and proably not go back to that resort.

Good luck
 
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I kept my horse with a friend who can be bossy, overbearing and moody but like you I thought I could handle it. I lasted 9 months and at the end of it I wasn't sure we were friends anymore. I moved to a bigger livery yard and her parting words to me were "You'll never make it on a livery yard, they're so bitchy" Four years later I am still there, still (mostly) love it and after about a year of "cooling off" I am even back to being on fairly good terms with my friend. She has had several other liveries since and no one ever lasts, there is a definite pattern to it. Yards are fiefdoms but at the same time, people won't stay and pay good money to be treated like rubbish at the whim of a YO
 
Yes i also have experienced the oneday the ym is buddy buddy with you then for the next 3 days can barely speak to you, but i have also seen it with the other liveries to, oneday she is buddy with them then the next she is having a moan at you about them. Very very sad,especially when you havent done anything wrong, not even complained.
 
horsehappy said:
I own a small livery yard and never understand this whole bitchy thing? Like others have said definitely just move but be picky where you go- before we got our own yard we had always been on DIY yards and after numerous horrible experiences we took completely different approach on our own place- part and full livery and I only let people move here who I think will get along with the liveries we already have- I have turned many people down as I want to keep our yard friendly/fun somewhere everyone can enjoy their horses- personally I can spot a 'think they know it all' a mile away and these are the ones that cause trouble stiring and interfering with other people's business! Take your time and find a yard where there's liveries similar to yourself, happy hackers, competition etc. good luck and remember it is a hobby and meant to be fun so make the most of it :)
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this is my policy aswell any horse but picky about the humans , i love my yard and i want myself and my liveries to feel at home and happy .
move ,as others have said horses are too expensieve for you to not enjoy being with them
 
Clarebear* said:
Hi all feeling torn as to whether I should move yards or not.. my current yard owner does have a bad reputation but I figured I would keep my self to myself follow the rules and everything would be fine. However for the last 2 months she has been a bit off with me with no explanation, this week though I have recceived rude messages, been bitched about to other livery owners, been called a ****ing bitch and been completley ignored even when ive said hello ( I am 17 by the way and yard owner is 53)... yet the yard owner cannot say 1 wrong thing I have done. Is it time to move, or should I stay and see if things improve, I can move to a lovely uard next sat although I dont really want to leave my friends I just dont enjoy going to the yard anymore. What do you think?
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I would hightail it out of there as fast as you can! I am a yard owner and I can't imagine ever being like this with anyone! If I had a serious problem with one of my clients I would ask them to leave I wouldn't just treat them like this it makes no sense and gives other clients a very bad impression. Good luck whatever you decide to do 😕
 
Hi OP,

I have been in a very similar stituation, YO just took a dislike to me,i regularly got nasty messages and i found out she had been calling me to other liveries, saying she wished id leave....so i did! Why pay someone your hard earned money to get slagged off!

Ive never looked back. Move on to somewhere else.
 
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