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Vicki_Krystal

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i was told yesterday that a childs pony died of colic in surgery.

i found this pony for the child and was teaching him up til very recently when i moved yards so i am understandably shocked.

now the worst bit.

his owner is 14 years old and loves this pony to bits.

he went away on a skiing trip on saturday.........
so therefore he does not know about his pony and his parents have made the hard decision not to tell him until he is home.

i am very close friends with the family and went round to the house last night.
his mum is distraught and is dreading the "hows the horses" phone call (he has another horse also)

im pretty sure not telling him is for the best.....

what do you guys think?
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I think they should tell him, and let him decide for himself.

When I was 15, I went away on a school residential trip. It was the first time anyone had ever prised me away from home and the horses, and it was only the fact that Mum promised me she would look after Ellie and let me know if anything was up that I made me go. However, on my 2nd night away, I had a strange feeling that something wasnt right. On the phone, mum said everything was fine, but when she met me from the coach when we got back, she told me that Ellie had had a series of nosebleeds whilst I'd been away, that the vet had been to scope her and take samples, and that they were waiting to find out what was wrong. I was so upset not to have been told before! I understand why mum didnt tell me, as she knows me so well that she was fully aware I'd have come straight home. But I think in this instance, where the pony has passed away, they need to let the lad know, or else he may never trust them again.
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If the pony was just ill I would tell him ... as the pony has died I would wait til he comes home to tell him... He can't do anything where he is and will be upset amongst people he might not want to be upset with ...
 
I wouldn't tell him. If the pony was sick and he had a chance of saying goodbye then fine But now - there is nothing to gain - let him have a few more worry free days before he has to deal with this blow.
 
zig zag / nuala

thats what we though - his teacher is aware and people have been told not to contact him via text or anything as he doesnt know.

the pony did have a history of colic but he was happy when his owner left so we want to to remember that
 
If it was my child, then no I also wouldn't tell him until he came home from his holiday.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't, in a situation like this.
 
Absolutely do not tell him, why spoil the rest of his holiday, he can't do anything where he is and he'd probably want to come home anyway. It's a very sad situation, he's going to be heartbroken no matter what, but just wait until he is back so at least they can hug him at the same time.
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I'm very sorry
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I wouldn't tell him, nothing he can do so no point in him being upset so far from home. At least he can be supported by family when he is told at home.

My mother told me about a similarly devastating thing which I could do nothing about when I was away on the three days break which made up my honeymoon. She told me on the second morning so I spent the rest of the break grieving and tearing my hair out alternately but totally unable to get back and DO anything. That has to have been two of the worst days of my life - the feeling of utter helplessness.

On the other hand the first time my daughter was away we had to greet her with the news that; her beloved cat had died, her grandfather had died (she knew he was ill though), her great uncle had had a bad heart attack (but was surviving) and her cousin had committed suicide. I'm not sure whether it was worse for her being greeted by all these as faits accomplis or for us who had had to deal with a stream of disasters.
 
What a shame
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I don't really know what is the best thing to do - I suppose if it was me on holiday, I'd want to know. It's not nice to ruin a holiday, but there will be other holidays and I'm sure he'll be devastated either way.
 
Hmm I think it is different when the animal is ill; in that situation then yes I agree with you, the child should be told. However on this occasion the animal is already dead so it wouldn't help anyone to tell the child right now.

When our pony was on deaths door back in England and we were over here, yes I told my daughter. Had the situation been different and the pony died unexpectedly then no I wouldn't have told her.
 
I wouldn't contact him to tell him of the pony's death, BUT I don't know what is the best course of action if he asks outright whether the pony is OK - if the parents lie, would the child ever trust them again.
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I agree with all the people who say that they wouldn't tell him because it's already happened and there's nothing he can do. It's different if they're ill, in that case you have to let them know so they have the choice to come back & nurse them or say goodbye.
 
I wouldn't tell him before the end of the holiday unless he actually asks how they are. Then to keep his trust I would have to be honest with him. Far better the truth than a lie and be blamed forever after.

If he's a sensible lad - and with two horses he should be, he'll know they did all in their power to save the pony and it didn't suffer so I think he'll surprise you and take it on the chin; lads seem much tougher than girls in that respect. Yes, he'll be upset but I'd be very surprised, however much he loved the pony that he'll turn into a wailing banshee in public, boys of that age will do everything to seem grown up even if they are weeping inside!

Is there any chance they could save either the shoes and have them mounted/chromed for him or at least a lock of forelock? A memento might help a lot.
 
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