sad times coming on Friday - what about the others?

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magpiesyard

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After spending an amazing 20 years with my girl Magpie, she is unfortunately being put to sleep on Friday. God its hard even to write that. She was my first pony and has been absolutely the best pony I could ever wish for. She is 33 years old now and has been losing weight gradually over the last few years. She has now got to a point where she is super thin and won't make the winter. I have tried everything and the vets agree this is the best thing for her.
To make things even more upsetting I had an RSPCA card left next to her yesterday as someone had reported her. Needless to say the inspector was very sympathetic and could see she was well cared for.
So just after some advice on my other 2 really. She has been next door to my 2 boys for the last year as I was worried about them being too much for her to cope with. Do I move them out of site when its done and then put them back with her just "missing" - or should they see it? Not sure what would be more distressing for them??
Anyone with any experiences?
thanks everyone xxx
 
Our old lad was PTS on sat (14/08/2010) huntsman said it was easier for them to have my lad out of the way. (He likes to have a look in at everything) He was moved to the back field so couldn't see anythning and never liffted his head from eatting, even when there was the bang. He's never called for him and has only looked once in the field for him, they lived together for over a year. So I think it's up to you, he doesn't seam to mind.

Sorry you have to her your mare PTS it's soooooo sad. XxX (((hugs)))
 
So sorry :( I was lucky in that my old horse died of natural causes but he was next to my mare at the time, she didnt cope with it and came out with some rash reaction. However I know a lot of people think its better to let companions see them after the event so they know whats happened.

Im sure other members will be able to help a lot more.
 
You have my greatest sympathy. You are making a very brave decision which is absolutely the best for your girl.

In my experience if horses can see the body of their feild mate they adjust better to the death - especially if they are closely pair bonded. If your boys are going to crowd around it might better to take them out at the time - more for safety than anything - but if they are close with her they may benefit from seeing her body. Normally they'll nudge and nose it a bit. When they move away of thier own free will then you can take the body.

But if they are not bonded with her they will probably be just fine if she just vanishes. Sadly you'll miss her more.

Big Hugs....
 
this is so very sad - huge (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you.

i think it would be kindest to keep the other horses well off site. I know in nature they see death, but if it can be avoided, I would do that. They will wonder where she's gone of course, but they will accept it I promise. It may just take a while for them to settle down.

Take care of yourself, and get some Rescue remedy (any chemist) to help you thru - and please do keep talking here, asI'm sure we'll all want to help you. sm xxx
 
So so sorry to hear about your old pony. When my girl was pts her field companion was with her. He watched her go down, walked around her sniffing her, After about 5 minutes he knew that she was gone, walked a few feet away and started to graze. By the time she was collected he was some distance away. Your boys will have each other.
((((((((hugs)))))))))
 
my old man was in a field with 2 mares for the last couple of years, when one of them had to be pts the other two were put in a field where they could see her but far enough away once she had gone the other two were allowed into the paddock to see her, the other mare went up to her and was grazing beside her, my boy wouldnt even go through the gate and just snorted in her direction, however they have both been fine since, so i think its nice to let them see they have gone if the others want to but during the actual moments it maybe nicer for all if they are away from each other. (she was injected so no bang to scare either of the other two with ones that have been shot all have been kept away from them completely)
 
Not really sure what advice to give but just wanted to say I'll be thinking about you on Friday, it sounds like you've been a wonderful owner and Magpie has been a true friend.
 
((((((hugs)))))) to you. You are doing such a wonderful thing for your beloved mare.

As for the others i think it depends how close they are. We lost a horse at the riding school. She coliced and it all happened reather quickly. Her best horsey friend was an old Arab. They where very close and spent every poss moment together. He didn't get to see the body and took her dissaperance very hard. He pined for several weeks but did get over it in the end.
Another pair bond we had we had one put down with the other horse out of sight then we let her see the body. She sniffed it and nudged it afew times but seemed to cope much better than the Arab after.
If they are not close they won't worry. Horses don't think about death like we do. Non of the horses where Lucy was put down realy cared and her friends back home didn't worry that she didn't come back. That sounds very harsh but thats horses. I'm the one falling appart since she went not them.

I hope everything goes ok on Fri I'm shore you will do the right thing for the other horses you know them better than anyone.
More ((((((hugs))))))) and please feel free to PM me if i can help in anyway or you just want to talk to someone. I know you don't know me but i'm always here if you need me.
 
So sorry to hear your sad news. Our horses were able to watch when we sadly had to have our mare PTS earlier this year (by injection). We arranged it so that she wasn't taken for a while afterwards and let the others in to the taped off area she was in so they could sniff her and be around her.

I'd like to think it worked but it was still heartbreaking when one of my horses in particular kept screaming for her when they were all put back out about 45 minutes later.

I'll be thinking of you on Friday and hope all goes as well as it possibly can.
 
Thanks, its so awful having to make all these decisions. mY instinct is to keep them away, but they do call to each other when they are apart (although don't have seperation anxiety or anything) but I just don't want to be left with 2 pining horses afterwards - I will be bad enough as it is!
Just so hard to know what to do for the best!
 
sorry to hear that you are having her pts but it is a kind thing to do.
i would remove the other horses so they dont see her being pts but once its done take them both over to her so they can see that she is gone - i wish i did this when i lost my mare but i couldnt do it, since then i have held a couple of friends horses to be pts and have asked them if i can take their field mates over and not one of them grieved, one had been with his pal for over 12 years and was fine.
 
Big hugs to you.

I think youll find the others will "know" whats happened and wont pine as much as you will.
Our old girl was 26 when we had to have her put down. Her field companions had worshipped the ground she walked on for 8 years and if she left their sight, they would all start fussing. On the day she was PTS, we brought everyone in and led her around the back out of sight. They all called for her but the gunsman was very quick and as soon as they heard the crack of the gun, they fell silent. It was very eerie. And very dignified.

Please dont be afraid. There are far worse things for our beloved horses than death. They dont see it as we do, of that I am sure.
 
I'll be thinking of you on Friday.

It's just the same with any animal, and I think it is best that you let the other siblings (for want of a better expression) see after the event. I think they come to terms with it better than just wondering where their companion has gone. Keep them out of the way until afterwards.

God bless you.
 
magpiesyard said:
Thanks, its so awful having to make all these decisions. mY instinct is to keep them away, but they do call to each other when they are apart (although don't have seperation anxiety or anything) but I just don't want to be left with 2 pining horses afterwards - I will be bad enough as it is!
Just so hard to know what to do for the best!
Click to expand...

I've always found it much easier on the others that they are able to see and smell the body afterwards and then allowed to move away in their own time; it's when you hurry them away that they tend to get most upset upset.
Hugs, it's never easy but it's time now.
 
So sorry to hear you're having her pts, but it does sound like the best thing. I wouldn't take to heart that she was reported. The people meant well and weren't to know she was under veterinary care.

When Branston died, it was without me being there and I can only assume that Henry was there for the whole thing (suspected heart attack, but he was in his mid-late thirties). The stable is open to the field and numerous times, Henry went in there, just to look, then went out again. I can't say I blame him. I kept doing the same thing, as I couldn't quite believe it . The only time the stable was shut was overnight, as I didn't want foxes getting in.

Henry coped just fine and was even there when the body was loaded up (we both were - the plan was I would walk him down the field, but the huntsman didn't wait!). Actually he didn't seem to care and I strangely didn't find it traumatic, either. We'd both said our goodbyes and it was just a body. It was my poor OH that got the short straw, as he helped load up the body. :(

Hope it all goes well. I'll be thinking of you on Friday. xx
 
I'll be thinking of you on Friday too. You're such a brave and selfless person to do this, as it's often the hardest thing of all to do the kindest thing of all.

When I had to have my mare Polly PTS suddenly in June, she happened to be in the small paddock adjoining the field where the rest of the gang were - I had only put her in there, as I did every feed time, so that she could eat undisturbed. The rest of the time she lived with the gang. So when she went down, as she was in the small paddock, the other horses couldn't see what was happening when the vet came and did the necessary (lethal injection). However, a few minutes after the deed was done, I let the rest of the gang out into the small paddock so they could come over and sniff Polly, which they did (the lovely vet even stayed to watch!). After about ten minutes or so, they lost interest, so I herded them back into the normal field and then covered Polly with a tarp (it was 1am by then) as she wasn't going to be removed until the next day.

I'm so glad I did it that way, and let the rest of the gang "know". In fact, beforehand, I'd always been determined that when one of the gang "went", I was going to do it that way.

Anyway, the rest of the gang were a bit noisier than usual (not excessively so) for 2 or 3 days afterwards, obviously calling for her. But apart from that there was no change in their behaviour. After about 3 days, the "calling" stopped as well and all was back to normal.

As someone said above, it's only me, the human that's grieving now.

My thoughts will be with you on Friday.
 
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