scared about new person coming to yard tomorrow reasurance please!

StormyMoments

StormyMoments

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we have a new lady moving to our yard tomorrow, i only found out today that she is coming tomorrow and she only knew today aswell due to being desperate to leave the yard next door which she has been there for 4 days i think but she didnt realise they had no electric or turnout other then in the school where all 7 horses are turned out with no food so they just mooch and beat each other up all day

long story short she ended up on our yard when she thought her horse had colic and now she is moving in.

i had no idea that she was coming tomorrow until this evening then i got myself stressed as i had to move my stuff out of the spare stable which was fine but i was in such a rush im scared i wont know where anything is as it was all just abandoned on my bedding in the barn, she is going to be stabled next door to my 2 and will be 3 fields up from me in the field which i was going to have for the winter but i dont mind at all as i didnt want to be in the small field with 2 horses and 1 horse in the large field as that wouldnt make sence and that would mean that i would have to move my fencing out too which would take me more than a day :o

she came and spoke to me while i was poo picking and she just seemed to make assumptions about the way i keep my horses like im behind with the poo picking, missy has a bit of a gunky eye today, why hasnt she learnt any manners, etc and i just felt a bit put down if im honest, maybe because i look so young people assume i dont have any idea? or maybe thats just the way she is but i was a bit put out if im honest as i just want to come down and do my horses and enjoy the time i have with them but i feel like i will be judged and i kinda already do feel like im inadiquet :/

im so used to being on a yard with just me and the other lady there with me and i have known her for years and we get on well i jst feel a bit unsettled, i think because we are so small that is why because i was only on a livery yard 8 months ago and anything said just went over my head

maybe im just over thinking this. the new lady is on a months trial type thing anyway as we have had some not so nice people on the yard before but it still isnt making me feel any better :/ hmmm im being stupid aren't i?
 
and breath :) - that may just be her way, when she is nervous don't panic not immediately anyway ;). I reckon it takes about two months to get to know a new livery properly and like you say, your livery yard owner has got rid of people in the past if they haven't fitted in (your lucky) :D
 
I thought i was the only one!
I get like this too. I wana scream "I DONT LIKE CHANGE" lol
keep things as they are im happy!

Im in a yard of 15 & when someone new is coming..i fret like mad. Loose sleep n all sorts. Its becos my horse time is so precious & im there to enjoy myself. I guess we dont want anything to interfere with that..understandably.

On a positive note, u may become good life-long friends.

But i do feel for u. Best of luck xxxx
 
Make her feel welcome and give her a chance to get to know you both. Some people are a little abrasive when they are new as they too can feel uncomfortable about being in a new yard.

If she starts to push bounderies just be polite and ask her not to interfere.
 
Sounds like she's going to be the yard Know-it-All. It's compulsory for all yards to have one. In fact we have a couple! Smile, nod......and ignore. Try to let it all go over your head.
 
Well thats what livery yards are for....people pay to be there, just like you do. Its a business not a private yard as such. I dont get what the big deal is I'm afraid. Im lucky enough to rent a private yard but have been on livery yards previously and cant say I was ever bothered by new people as its expected that there will always be people coming and going. Thats just the way it is on livery.
 
i just worry a lot :rolleyes: i dont like people interfering or criticising the way i go about things :( and i just have a feeling she maybe like that although could be totally wrong :o
 
Good advice from darkhorse, when i moved yard there was someone who had the same reaction as you and all that happened was she worked herself up so much and caused so many problems (all over facebook) the YO had to ask her to leave. Allow some generosity in your heart.
 
I don't like change either and would be nervous of someone new coming along but that's the way it goes - and don't forget she might be absolutely bricking it, too. She might be a nightmare, she might turn out lovely - just try to take a deep breath and give yourself more than today to find out.

I know I've been nervous about moving to a bigger yard for the first time in ten years, and maybe someone on said yard was anxious about some new bint rocking up for the first time in a while, too ;) but then we both surprised ourselves with it all being ok. I think, anyway; she hasn't pointed and laughed at me in, ooh, at least 24 hours :D
 
awww bless you, i know it's hard if you're naturally a worrier but try not to let it take over:) everytime you think of a negative thing make yourself come up with a positive one too;)
 
Try not to worry about what she "might" be like and take time to be friendly and get to know her before you make your mind up. You may find you get on really well - you may find you don't, but one of the important skills we all have to learn in life is how to get along with other people, and there will be lots of times in your life when you will find yourself dealing with a similar situation.

If she offers you advice don't dismiss it out of hand, give it some thought and consider if she might have a point - if you then think she does, thank her for the advice and take it, if you think she doesn't, smile, thank her for the advice and do your own thing! Even if she doesn't turn into your perfect livery companion I am sure that if you look hard enough you will be able to find something good about having her there, so concentrate on the positives rather than worry about what might go wrong and think of the challenge of getting to know her as one of life's rich experiences!
 
None of it has happened yet. It's all in your mind. Think of other things, and accept things as they come. It can't be easy for her either, though I do appreciate that you're hving too move things about.

Surely this must have happened before to yo?. I have a tiny livery business but one horse came in at 30 minutes' notice. A sad thing had happened, and we all buckled to - and my liveries were simply marvellous with her and her unhappy horse and made her very welcome.
 
There's nothing you can do about it - she is moving onto the yard so no point in letting yourself worry about what you can't control. What is the worst case scenario, realistically? That she'll be a PITA know-it-all, in which case you just plug into your MP3 and carry on in your own sweet way;) She might be lovely and be a new friend to ride with though.

Perhaps she was asking you questions because she wants to be sure the yard is ok for her horse, after all she could interpret what she saw as the paddock being poopy (which could signify risk of worms), gunky eye (possible sign that there's a risk of disease) etc, and wanted to ask you about it - it doesn't sound like you know each other so it's not personal, maybe she just wants to look out for her horse like anyone else would. I'm sure you'll settle down to living with each others' little ways in time.:)
 
Say hallo and then take each day as it comes, if you think she is starting to interfere, then speak to the yard owner or smile and carry on how you have always done, or buy yourself an ipod and put on what you enjoy while you are there.:):):)
 
I know what u mean about looking young and people speaking 'down' to you. I am 29 but look younger, so annoying! People soon realise that they wont get an opportunity to speak down to me again ;) Give this lady a chance she was prob nervous and trying to make conversation. If she makes you feel inadequate again then stand up for yourself and challenge her comments and be clear but polite about them not being required. A lot of people respect you more for standing up for yourself.
 
When i was at a livery yard i used to LOVE new liveries arriving... new horses to admire, & ride out with & new people to meet. i always think there is room for advice from others, be it good or bad i always welcome others imput/opnions & if i dont like it i dont listen!!
You never know like others have said you may become good friends! CHILL OUT
 
but make sure your livery owner isolates her horse-don't want any nasties being introduced! if this is not possible-kick up a fuss as it is soimportant..
 
Be aware, she may also use this forum, and it wouldnt take her long to find out who you are by your photo and mine!!
Dont fret and worry, and dont keep making assuptions, she is probably more worried than you are. You are concerned she may say this, that and the other, yet at the moment you are doing just that about her!
You know the reason the others were kicked off the yard was due to constant bitching and backstabbing, and that it drove us insane.
The yard is meant to be a nice relaxing place to come to after work/ college etc, and none of us like constant moaning (im getting too old to care for it lol). I am sure we will all get along and that everything will be fine, and if it is not, or there are problems once she has settled, then I will sort it, as I said.xx
 
Hmm.

This person 'Stormymoments' the OP,
who she was worried about in this thread, newcomer to the yard...that'll be me then:mad:

I did leave the yard, very shortly afterwards though.
I was horrified to find myself being 'discussed' on a public forum while having never been given a chance to even say hello :(

Not everything is as it seems.

Hope the other lady at the yard is well - with her lovely Haffie and Teddy!
 
I completely blank if people start saying how they'd keep my horses. People soon give up if you look straight through them.
I'm happy to discuss care but I will not have opinions spouted at me when I havent asked.
 
Jellymould said:
Hmm.

This person 'Stormymoments' the OP,
who she was worried about in this thread, newcomer to the yard...that'll be me then:mad:

I did leave the yard, very shortly afterwards though.
I was horrified to find myself being 'discussed' on a public forum while having never been given a chance to even say hello :(

Not everything is as it seems.

Hope the other lady at the yard is well - with her lovely Haffie and Teddy!
Click to expand...

Hope you have found somewhere you and your horses are happy.

I moved to a different part of the country years ago and struggled to find a yard in the new area that suited mine and my horses needs.
Happy now though, been on the yard 6 years and won't be moving off in a hurry :)

The original post did seem a little dramatic ... I shouldn't get your knickers in a twist about it though!
 
Jellymould said:
Hmm.

This person 'Stormymoments' the OP,
who she was worried about in this thread, newcomer to the yard...that'll be me then:mad:

I did leave the yard, very shortly afterwards though.
I was horrified to find myself being 'discussed' on a public forum while having never been given a chance to even say hello :(

Not everything is as it seems.

Hope the other lady at the yard is well - with her lovely Haffie and Teddy!
Click to expand...


Oops! Hope all is OK now where you are.
 
why has this been brought back up over a year later? im very sorry about any offence i caused in posting this thread and i did actually post in another thread about how sorry i was about it as i didnt realise how much offence i had caused. this thread was posted out of my own insecurity nothing against you at all. Also the lovely lady with the haffy and teddy also told me the reason you left was because of me and that you didnt want her to tell me that. im sorry that you felt you had to leave and i hope that you and BB are getting on well where every you are. you have my most sincere appology for any upset i have caused.
 
I didn't have any trouble, just moved sharpish after being a little horrified at never having met her but reading all about me!

Takes all sorts I guess.
 
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