scared to be near her **long very long**

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sallypops

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you will remember my last post about how i was so upset about how poppy's attitude has changed and she has become aggresive, now i am sooo scared to be around her, she has been in off her grass just for the past couple of days and it is helping already, but after wat she has been like i don't wanna be around her

i went up to muck out her pen giv her hay water etc, it took me 20 mins to muster the courage to go in i was physically shaking. and yesterday wee tambo was meant to be arriving so i wanted to put her back out so they could get aquainted this is a distance of like 5 m's she walked very well, as soon as i let her go she went nuts (expected she had tonnes of energy) i was out of that field quicker than a bolt of lightning. he ended up not coming he'll be here next week.

i feel so stupid tho and angry at myself for being like this, and i worry that i am goin to loose my confidence with other horses and ponies too
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sorry this post was so long
 
You're bound to be nervous if she's been agressive and badly behaved - I'm sorry i don't know the history, but it's easy to lose your confidence and it doesn't mean you won't get it back.

I had a horse who was agressive and naughty and when I sold her and got my new one it took ages for me to even dare lead him in a chifney! Now I could grab a piece of his mane and drag him along if I wanted to!

Don't push youself too hard or worry too much about being scared. Just take your time and do what you feel comfortable with - that way you will gradually get your confidence back. Honestly, it's completely understandable and there are loads of people who get like this at some stage. You'll get it back again
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Dont really know whats happened in the past but seems to me like she has put u off of her and she is taking advantage of u because u are scared. If she is aggresive towards you then you do exactly the same back to her. Easier said than done but u need to reestablish who is the boss in the relationship or like u said u may lose ur nerve all together which will be a shame! Dont feel angry or stupid there are lots of people in ur situation (my aunt for one) it just takes time to get over it. Keep ur head held high and try not to feel negative about your self and hopefully your confidence will soon start to improve. Perhaps ask a friend if you can spend some time with their horse/s to help build your confidence around others!
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my mum thinks i should sell her tho, cause its not fair on her as well as me, but she is my wee girl and even tho she is bad sometime i love her to bits i really don't want to loose her, but in a way i would benefit from gettin another pony that i could actually just jump on an go out riding
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Poor you - you sound really worked up!

TBH it sounds to me like you are almost developing a phobia of working with her. The best thing to do to prevent this happening is to keep spending time with her regularly. Keep doing her hay and water every day - you will get less scared. Can you spend some time sitting in her field or whatever, just spending time with her in a non-stressed situation? Would it help if you had a friend or family member there with you?

Also ask yourself what it is that you are so scared of - what is the worst case scenario? Then think logically about that - if it is her running off/rearing up etc, has she ever done that before? if not, then it is not likely to happen. If yes, then what happened then? Why are you so worried about it?
 
It's tough when this happens, but don't beat yourself up about it. You need to be proactive to sort this out. Have you got an experienced friend who could come and lunge her for you to help settle her a bit? You need to do lots of groundwork with her to remind her of her manners and to remind yourself that you can do it and you don't need to be afraid.

If you don't feel ready to go in her stable yet, that's ok - bring her out first - infact the practice of leading her about and generally telling her what to do would be beneficial anyway.
This sort of thing won't get better by wishing it, you have to give yourself targets - eg. to lead her calmly down the road, get her to back up from you, to walk a circle around you without you having to touch her flank.

Pick a skill to do on each day and practice it with her until you've got it nailed then leave it at that until the next day. Soon you'll feel in control again and she'll have learned to respect you and all will be fine.
 
I have not read other posts you have done concerning this.......and how sad that you have been reduced to this,owning a horse should be about being a pleasure on and off the horse! Looks like this has become a situation out of control,and poor you is stuck with a horse that reads your body language,and knows how to petrify you! Is there no one you know who is confident to deal with her for you,as I find it quite worrying that you could not even enter her stable for the first 20 minutes.......sorry,but I don't know the full story behind this,but,you need to get help fast so you become this mare's leader again in a kind way! If I was near by I would offer to help!
 
This happened to me with my first pony (14.2hh arab x) and I know exactly how you feel, its terrible. However, we managed to resolve it and a few months along the line it never happened again. Can you give me more info on your horse and you to see if it was like my situation and so I can try and give you some help? Also, does he have any horsey company?
 
she has the company of a 24 yr old arab mare, her behaviour really turned BAD about 3 weeks after she arrived so we wondered if it may have been becky's presence which added to the problem. we have tabo coming soon who is a gelding as she always has got on better with geldings, also becky is goin back to her real home for winter. poppy was on loan for almost a year due to her crumbly feet, she was taken down to the sandy beaches every so often to help her feet heal which worked well, i did star riding her again but i am nervous about riding her now too. i'm just so angry at myself. half the time she is fime with me now and i make sure i itch her scratchy spots every day and cuddle her, but i just have the constant thought in my head that shes gonna charge off with me. i tryed to lunge her a few weeks ago she was fine then shot off in a canter leaving me with some hideous rope burn
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do you think sending her for some professinal reschooling might help?
 
When we first got missy she was abit of a handful , she was standing about 14.3hh and about 9 mths old, My friend who co owns her with me , was very nearly kicked ... she was just about an inch away from catching A on the head , when she did this , she was stabled, I got very aggressive towards her straight away and sent her to the back of the stable, I then proceeded to go into the stable , the look on missys face was shocked , she didnt know what to think, she didnt move until i went over to her and patted her on the head and she followed me back over to the door, from then on she has never kicked out, she has earned my respect and vice versa , of course she needs little reminders that IM the boss and she needs to have manners , shes now 19 mths old and is well mannered youngster with a great character and temperment .

I think in your situation you DO need some one who will be confident with your horse and show no fear, because at the minute your horse knows that you are basically petrifed and is playing to every situation that comes up be it going into the stable to do daily feeds or mucking out . You need your confidence back, perhaps work with a different horse either a friends horse or riding school horse ? Then tackle your horse together with the help from an experienced confident person .


On the other side of the coin, has your horse ever had a vet diagnose anything ? has it ever been on any calmers ? ... has anything draumatic ever happened ? There could be variable reasons as to why your horse is behaving like this , but you and i dont mean this in a bad way, could be the cause of this probelm ie your confidence around your horse .. sorry cant remember whether you said horse was gelding or mare .


Good luck hope you get sorted x
 
You need help(and fast!!!) as I said earlier,this mare is taking full advantage of this whole setup.....it might be worth finding a place that could sort this mare out,but, and I add quite strongly you need to be involved with her re-education,as no point not,as the issue here, is her and you!
 
oh yeh i kno, i take full blame for this behaviour. if i could find somewhere to sort her out i would want lessons on her frequently after to make things right again
 
Although it's tempting, I'd try not to send her away. As others have said, you need someone to help. THey don't need to be the greatest trainer but they need NOT to be scared of the horse. They need to be alongside when she gets nasty and tell her off while (hopefully) you stand your ground. I really do sympathise - you get to a point where you say 's**t this is supposed to be pleasure - I can't go on with it.' That said, I would try to persist, with some help. I don't know all her history, but I would also seek the advice of a vet in case there's a physical reason for this. Also, can you identify whether she wants to hurt you, or whether she's just over-excited, or whether she just wants her own way regardless?
 
Aw I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I would suggest that as you're feeling nervous round other horses now, that you find someone with a lovely horse to deal with and have a go just leading, lunging, picking out feet etc with that horse. Give yourself a break! You need to get your head right before you can deal with working with Poppy, otherwise things may well escalate and get worse.

Is there anyone who can look after Poppy for you for say, 2 weeks while you get some distance and time to sort yourself out? *hugs*
 
see i think i do need a wee break, just to do some nice hacking with some friends or something. when i try an help her and she doesn't respond i get wound up and she gets wound up so i get more wound up its a vicious circle. at the moment i would kill for a 14hh hairy cob just to have fun on
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I've been following your posts from the beginning and it just seems to be a downward spiral atm.

Don't even think about selling your mare at the moment. It would do neither of you any good. You've got through this before and will again.

Whilst she does need to come off the grass she also needs exercise, because she'll have pent up energy right now and that's making matters worse. She feels your fear and thinks "OMG, she's anxious, there MUST be something to be anxious about". It's like a big circle.

You need some help with her, would it be possible for you to put her on livery for a while? somewhere where you have access to help and access to a menage where she can be turned out?

If not you need to try and make do, find someone who can help you walk her out, or lunge her. Always wear a hat and gloves when you handle her, for your peace of mind.

When you muck her out, can you make another pen next door you can put her into whilst mucking her out? If not, perhaps getting some rubber matting might make mucking out a simpler quicker job? or if her feet allow deep litter her for a while?

Spend time with her, just grooming her, talking to her and getting that bond again. If you lead her lead her in her bridle, and carry a stick, so she has that bit more respect for you.



I havent read the other replies, so will go and do so now. If I think of anything else I'll let you know.
 
thanks everyone you lot are always such a gd help!! i really do appreciate your comments. i really hope she will settle soon, cause well sorry mum but she is going no where i love her far to much
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