Sell my horse or not?

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Maz55

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I'm looking for an objective view on what to do about my horse. Sorry but this is going to be a bit of an essay!

I've had her 2.5 years. I bought her thinking that she was going to be a sane sensible ride that i could just go out and have fun on but immediately i got her home i realised she wasn't quite what i thought i'd bought. She's an anxious horse that suffers from separation anxiety and it has taken a very long time to get her to settle at my yard (there are pigs which hasn't helped) and from day one i've had problems in the spooky arena (duck pond on one side and scary hedge on the other). It didn't help that when i first moved to the yard and had her the arena was quite deep and she had some suspected issues with her hocks - she would always be tense in there and rush in trot which i found unnerving at times. Sometimes she'd spook. I stopped riding in the arena as we were waiting for the surface to be sorted out and started riding in the paddock where she generally worked nicely. I originally hacked her out with my partner on his bike and at first she was really good but once she started to learn the routes she'd be difficult as soon as we hit the track on the way home (jogging/rushing and strong/sometimes bouncing canter on the spot) which I found unnerving. I also found that if i rode in a big open field she hadn't been in before - even with company - she was very stressy (on her toes, snorting, rushing towards home). When on her own she'd suddenly explode - spinning, cantering on spot and threatening to tank off. In company she'd be better until her mate got ahead and then i'd have the explosion. Even around the yard she has bolted a couple of times because of a monster in the hedge.

Because of the issues in the arena i had lots of lessons off site and clinics and always found her to go well away from home and i did really well with her at dressage comps - i even got the award for most improved rider from my riding club so i felt we'd really turned a corner. i always felt however i couldn't progress as much as i'd like because i didn't have the chance to practice at the yard which has been incredibly frustrating. Jumping her has been challenging as she gets so excited and i'm not the most confident rider but in one on one lessons has been great, it's been more in clinics with other horses. I took her to camp twice and she was good in the arena but anxious on the cross country course and i found i had to always have a buddy with me to stop her panicking about being left behind. i also had to be at the front riding in the forest with others or she'd have a meltdown. She's the same on sponsored rides etc - she gets so wound up if other horses are in front of her so it isn't a pleasant experience.

Last summer we had a strangles case on our yard which meant i couldn't go anywhere and things went from bad to worse and my confidence plummeted - i realised the good rides as i was having at clinics and off site were keeping my confidence. i was riding the track around the yard and she spun and bolted at the scary hedge. I very nearly sold her but had a natural horsemanship trainer come out who helped a lot so i thought we'd be ok. anyway i realised a lot of my issues with her were due to her crookedness and lack of balance and her feeling anxious because of that so i started having lessons at the yard with a dressage trainer who specialises in these issues. we started in the paddock and my mare was fabulous. my instructor insisted we should work in the school as thats where most of my problems were and my horse was awful - she was on full alert, spinning, bolting as soon as we got in there and i had a lot of very rocky lessons. my instructor got me doing in hand work before riding but my horse would just bowl me out of the way when i got near the hedge and started rearing so i decided to stop that. But with my instructor's help i got to the point where i could ride all the way around the arena although we did have some spooky rides and i've had a couple of falls. i found she was much better in there with a friend.

Christmas time my horse was in due to snow and i couldn't work her for a couple of days. i then had a couple of "rides" in the school where she refused to go forward to the spooky side at all - she was rearing and reversing. i felt i didn't want to ride her in there at all after that and started looking at other yards but with no success. my instructor suggested riding her in a 15m by 15m pen of poles/jumps in a safe corner which worked really well and both our confidence improved so much i was able to venture out into the school. i don't know if it has helped but (having unsuccessfully tried every other calmer on the market) i started her on the calm healthy horses regime. i had a good few rides where she was a little spooky but not anxious to the level she'd been previously and i got off feeling i was really getting somewhere. the hacking also improved and i found that my hacking friend could get a little ahead of her without a total meltdown. my veterinary chiropractor saw her and felt she was looking the best she's ever done, but my mare then lost a shoe and cut a hindleg in the field and we had the snow so she had several days off work. once i was satisfied she looked ok again i took her in the arena - another horse was in there and mine seemed quite calm and non spooky. she got rather keen in trot - rushing and doing medium trot a bit like the old days before my lessons and ran through my half halts but i just kept circling to try to steady her. next thing i know we're galloping across the arena full pelt heading straight for the fence. i had no space or time to turn let alone stop her and honestly thought we were jumping the fence. next thing she stops suddenly and of course i hit the deck. i got back on shaking like a leaf and although a little spooky she worked ok after that. it did knock my confidence again though. perhaps i shouldn't have gotten straight back on after her break but we can't lunge in our school and she didn't seem too "hot". next day i hired an indoor school and she rode lovely.

I spoke to my instructor about it and she is really concerned for my safety - partly because she is herself recovering from an extremely nasty fall so is acutely aware of what can happen at the moment! She has suggested either moving yards or selling her. She said i'm a "great student" and if the lessons alone were going to solve the issue they would have done by now. Her advice is that the arena has become an issue for us now as i'm anticipating my horse doing something and because of her balance issues this is what makes her do what she does. trot is worse because she's more unbalanced. she thinks that she goes better elsewhere because i don't have the preconceived worries about the school. moving yards is an obvious solution but i like my yard - there's plenty of turn out the hacking is good, the only downside really is i can't lunge, and my worry is what if i move and then start having the same sort of problems elsewhere? i have my retired girl at the same yard so would have to split them up if i can't find two stables. if i start having the same issues elsewhere i won't be able to move back because there's a waiting list. it's fair to say she has been really good pretty much in every other arena i've ridden in but mostly in an indoor school - so nothing really to spook at - and when outside she's had other horses around her and/or i've had an instructor shouting at me.

i've actually felt i've been a lot calmer myself in the arena at our yard (although i haven't been able to totally trust her so there is some truth in what my instructor says). it would be simpler if i could say i'd never had an issue anywhere else and my only problems are in the school but as you've read i have had issues in other situations (although there have been improvements of late). i have hacked her out on my own a couple of times but haven't been totally relaxed doing it and made sure i took the road way home rather than face what she might do on a track and have stopped going to sponsored rides because it's just too stressful. when doing xc clinics i've asked for a private lesson and to go first so no-one is leaving her behind. so i have felt i'm missing out a bit sometimes.

the other thing i need to bear in mind is she's now 13 and my worry is if i leave this another year and decide to sell her then, it might be harder to. i also wonder sometimes if my horse wouldn't be happier with someone else (she often disappears to the back of the stable when the tack appears) and sometimes when i ride will toss her head in frustration. it's so frustrating for me as she's beautifully schooled and can do a fabulous dressage test - which is what i want to do and i have learned a lot from her (my riding has improved immensely - although i'm still rubbish lol), and i love my jumping lessons with her, as when she's calm (as she is when one on one) she never says no and gives me confidence. but i daren't jump her at home in the school so the jumping isn't really progressing either. i did actually put a for sale ad up yesterday but now wonder if i'm doing the right thing - should i just move her to another yard? it's breaking my heart because i love this little mare so much and i've invested so much into her. I really don't know what to do for the best. Thanks for reading this!
 
There is a lot of detail on this but overall as far as I can tell not much has changed from the beginning. She has always given you lovely rides interspersed with difficult ones. She has made improvements with various strategies that have not been maintained over time or have not generalised. Sorry if that is not right, but it is how it reads to me!

Given that, I would tend to agree with your RI that after 2.5 years and a huge amount of effort she is always likely to be a spooky horse. So if you only want to keep her in the hopes of working it though and turning her into a different kind of a horse then you may not ever get that.

Also I am not sure how much you are enjoying it! It's an expensive and time consuming way to be stressed, frustrated and frightened....
 
Sorry to hear this OP.

Just from your first paragraph I am inclined to say maybe it was a partnership that wasn't meant to be.

Horses are expensive and we are supposed to enjoy them. I think you've given her plenty of time to try and gel with her, and you just are suitable to each other. There is no shame in admitting that.

She may not be your cup of tea, but another rider would love that type of horse. I think maybe you should look at advertising her honestly and find yourself something you can go out an enjoy stress free.

All the best with whatever you chose though.
 
I would sell I am afraid. She sounds like she could be a good Horse with the right rider.

Horses are supposed to be fun, it doesn't sound like your Horse gives you much enjoyment.

I would advertise her honestly and then use that money to try to find something else.

In the mean time you could pay a professional rider to ride and then use that person to show off the Horse to potential buyers?
 
I wouldn’t be keeping her but I think first you should move yards. If she’s ok away from this yard maybe she just hates it there.
 
The one thing that jumps out at me is that your horse is generally happy away from the yard so unless there is a strong reason to change the horse and stay at this yard then why not look for somewhere else to keep her, it would be worth giving it a few months in a new environment and see if she is more settled, often a horse will relax completely when they are in the right place and she does sound as if she has a lot of good points.
 
I agree with the 2 posts above I would consider moving yards and really make sure you find the right place, some horses just don't settle in certain yards or environments as it sounds like she really is not very happy where she is, I have known horses to be completely different when moved to different yards almost like they have had a complete personality transplant so I think it's worth a try in your situation.
 
I've known a horse to go from a complete raving lunatic that the vet commented they feared for the safety of anyone handling it during the vetting to the sweetest, most relaxed horse just by swapping yards.

Try moving yards and if your mare still doesn't change then sell her and put your name down on the wait list for your current yard and by the time you have found another then hopefully you'll have a space back at your current yard.
 
I would move yards for at least the short term.
Let’s face it I doubt you will sell her very easily from the current yard anyway!
Move, hopefully she will be better at which point you can make a more informed decision about selling or keeping, I suspect it will be the former as it sounds as though fundamentally the chemistry isn’t right in the partnership
 
I think for the right person this mare will be incredibly good fun but I think you need something less sharp and forward thinking. I would be inclined to sell her and buy something more suitable if you like the yard that much. Life is too short for all that you are going through when you should be having fun. Yes there are ups and downs to horses but it seems you are having more downs and thats not how its supposed to be!

Try a new yard but give yourself 6 months and then call it a day. At 14 she isnt old and she sounds like she would be sellable to experienced riders who want that sharp forward thinking type. I know they are all different as are we but try a gelding if she doesnt work out. My two are polar opposites and I would bet money on you gelling with my gelding but finding yourself in the exact same predicament if you were riding my mare.
 
I agree with the others. Move yards, give her 6 months and if there's still no improvement, sell her. It's meant to be fun and if you're not enjoying it there's no point in persevering.
 
As per the others, I’d suggest moving yards, as your current one doesn’t sound good for you. A change of scenery may just help. Depending on how much cash you have, I’d be looking at moving to a yard where there is a pro rider ther to help you out with lessons/schooling sessions, and put horse on sales livery if it really doesn’t work out.

It is also worth suggestion a vet work up, but personally I’d try the yard change first. It’s likeky to work out cheaper.

Also when were her back/teeth/saddle last checked, and what do you feed her on?
 
What's she like with someone else riding her in the scary arena? If she's fine, then I think it's fair to say then your instructor is correct & you have mentally labelled it as the scary arena so she's picking up on it.

I would also be one to try another yard. Does your instructor have a yard? If so this would be my best suggestion - you have help and support from someone who knows you and your horse. The right yard makes a huge difference, I moved recently to my instructor's and am so glad I did - my mare (who I considered selling on more than one occasion) is a changed horse. Even the 'scary' side of the new school - complete with rustling bushes and noisy dogs the other side - is now a non-issue.

You can overcome these things with the right support and willpower - but you have to REALLY want to. And even when you don't want to, get on and ride anyway.
 
Thanks for all your suggestions. My instructor rode her in the arena and she was very sharp for her too. Another very experienced friend (a BHSII and eventer) has ridden her in the past (at a different venue) and described her as “difficult”. She’s actually been much better in the school lately after a hell of a lot of hard work - that’s a big issue as in winter it’s the only place I have to ride but she’s still a spooky horse although not as bad at other venues and I can cope with it elsewhere. For example I had a jumping lesson tonight at a different venue and she was really anxious when previous person left the arena and we jumped on a curve because she was shying at a jump placed 45 degrees to it. The instructor’s comment was she needs more work but she’s actually worked hard (more so than usual) this week. She’s right though she does need more work but how can I when galloping across the arena at 100 miles an hour. She has her teeth and saddle checked regularly and has regular treatments from physio wnd a veterinary chiropractor both of whom are very pleased with her and she has lots of turnout and ad lib hay so I’d be very surprised if pain related. My YO thinks she’d be the same at any yard and it’s a “home” issue (I did get her from sales livery yard so makes me wonder)
 
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I too would move her, to a yard without pigs for preferance. Some horses just never get over the issue with pigs and id she is constantly adrenalin fueled because of them, she will not relax. We had an Appy mare many years ago, for the first six weeks she was awful and to be honest if she had been sellable she would have gone, but she was too awful to show anyone! We took her to a new yard, leading her because we could not have loaded her and it was within walking distance. Half way there we seriously considered putting her in a field and collecting her later, as she was such a handful. We persevered and it was as if when we got beyond half way she realised that we had left the first yard, she settled down and we crossed the main road without incident and carried on to the new yard with an altered horse! She was always ooinionated but we kept her for another 20 odd years. I would always try a different yard if on livery and would think twice about liverying where there are pigs.
 
Maz55 said:
What was she like elsewhere? Can a yard affect a horse when they’re out and about too?
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She was vile out hacking, being led to the fields furthest from the yard, anywhere!
I think she was "living on her nerves" as there was something about the place which she did not like at all. The release of adrenalin, noradrenaline and the other cocosteroids can have a dire effect on the system. She became a much more relaxed being when we moved her.
 
You could try moving yards to see if that would sort it. I suppose the main thing is you're not having fun and your confidence i affected. You have put in so much work to improve things. I think sometimes it's best to move forward.
Personally I would sell her. But if you are very attached you could try changing yards.
 
Just to say some pigs moved near to my ponies field, they were there for about 6 months and during that time he was very stressy and spooky. He never desensitised to them at all. Out hacking the further away he got the more he relaxed. I was at my wits end as moving wasn't an option and I did know at some point the pigs would move. I think some ponies just can't cope with pigs full stop. Other pony wasn't bothered by them at all.
 
I agree with the advice to try a new yard, and sell if there's no improvement. If she's fine away from home it sounds like it's home that's the real issue - not pain, not your straightness. I'd give it three months in the new place - if it's going to work you'll know quickly, and then you're selling in early summer which is going to be easier than waiting until autumn.
 
YorksG said:
I too would move her, to a yard without pigs for preferance. Some horses just never get over the issue with pigs and id she is constantly adrenalin fueled because of them, she will not relax. We had an Appy mare many years ago, for the first six weeks she was awful and to be honest if she had been sellable she would have gone, but she was too awful to show anyone! We took her to a new yard, leading her because we could not have loaded her and it was within walking distance. Half way there we seriously considered putting her in a field and collecting her later, as she was such a handful. We persevered and it was as if when we got beyond half way she realised that we had left the first yard, she settled down and we crossed the main road without incident and carried on to the new yard with an altered horse! She was always ooinionated but we kept her for another 20 odd years. I would always try a different yard if on livery and would think twice about liverying where there are pigs.
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Completely agree with this. And until you move your horse you will never know. You can choose to give your horse an opportunity elsewhere or you can go with your YOs 's viewpoint. As Pearlsasinger says your loyalty should be to your horse. We've moved a few times and have experienced various reactions, ability/inability to settle etc. all with the same horse and same owner.
 
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It’s an expensive hobby and you deserve a horse that you can enjoy. I think you’ve given it long enough and even if a yard move did help initially, I can’t help feel that this horse is sharp and overreactive by nature and that these issues are likely to crop up no matter where you go.

I would be inclined to sell to rider more suited to this horse and then go out and buy yourself something you can enjoy without the fear of falling off or being bolted with! Life is too short. Good luck.
 
Wow thats an awful lot of issues to be dealing with. I sounds to me that after so much effort on your part you've reached a point where you've gone as far as you can. Not your fault and certainly not your mare's fault. Sometimes you're just not compatible. For the right person she could make a fantastic horse, and with the right horse you can enjoy riding all the time.
 
This sounds like such a terrible time - poor you! I think you have given it a very good go and tried lots of avenues. I think even if you move yards she will still be too sharp for you, you won’t trust her and won’t give her the confidence she is looking for. It will be a lot of work having horses on two yards, which potentially may result in the same issue as you will be anticipating what she might do.

I think you should get yourself the safe happy hacker you were originally after and let her go to more suitable home. Her anxiety issues sound to have become quite bad, you could have a look into reputable names that offer a part exchange. They could put some work in to her to get her ready for someone confident.
 
Totally agree with those that have mentioned the yard and pigs. Some horses just never accept them, and run on adrenaline. I kept my horse at a yard that was a free-range pig farm. He was fine, and most of the horses there were ok, or did settle. But there were some who never settled. In fact a friend bought a horse while it was on that yard, it was always strong and spooky, and a few year on, she moved, and the horse quickly became a chilled out relaxed boy who would hack anywhere.
It certainly wouldn't hurt to try another yard and see if that would make a difference.
 
It all comes down to whether or not you want to try with her. Honestly i don't think selling her from this yard will do HER any favours. So even if you move just to sell, its worth the try to ensure shes sold at her best.
 
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