Selling - feeling guilty...?

[joolie]

I've come to a decision to sell my mare, a mixture of reasons, mainly financial but also struggling with time. I have found increasingly over the last few months that I've been riding because I have to....not because I want to, rushing to do jobs etc. This is no reflection on my mare or anything she's done....just a feeling of haemorrhaging money and not getting the same amount of pleasure out of it I once had. I used to love getting up early, competing, messing around....now I feel my mojo has totally gone. I want to have a lie in now and again, spend time with OH, spend money on holidays and other frivolous things.

Said mare is on schooling livery with view to sell in new year, I've had a minor op and can't ride for a month or so. I went to watch her being worked and came home and cried my eyes out!! She looked super, I've invested so much time and money into her. Feel so guilty that I've had to come to sell her.

Not sure what I'm wanting from this post really other than some words of wisdom perhaps by anyone who's been in a similar situation? I'm just not sure why I feel so awful and emotionally torn about it all when I know it's the correct decision to make I almost feel as if I should keep half heartedly plugging away regardless even though I'm only enjoying it 60% of the time. Argh!

 

[EllenJay]

Of course you are feeling upset, that is totally natural. You are stopping something that used to give you great pleasure and moving on to a new challenge.

Don't feel guilty, you will feel more guilty if you keep your mare and then start resenting her.

Enjoy your horse free years, go on lovely holidays and enjoy your lie-ins. I will also have a little bet that in another few years you will get your mojo back and want to buy another horse.

 

[Makemineacob]

Of course you are feeling upset, that is totally natural. You are stopping something that used to give you great pleasure and moving on to a new challenge.

Don't feel guilty, you will feel more guilty if you keep your mare and then start resenting her.

Enjoy your horse free years, go on lovely holidays and enjoy your lie-ins. I will also have a little bet that in another few years you will get your mojo back and want to buy another horse.

Very wise words. Do not feel guilty, you have to accept that lives change. What you need to do is to find her a brilliant home (there's so many out there!) and the. You can forget any feelings of guilt as you have done the right thing for her.

Totally agree with EllenJay, many of us have been there and get back into horses when the time is right. *hugs*

 

[DJ]

Been there myself just a few months back. My mare, horse of life time has gone to one of my best friends. It was right for us all, doesn`t make it any easier though. She initially just went on loan, but my friend fell hard and fast in love with her and so I made the decision to let her buy her.

Could that be an option for you? Put her out on loan for 1yr, 2yr? See how you feel about not having her in your life, then if you`re comfortable with it, sell her on, if not at least you have the option of getting her back?

Which ever way you do it, don`t feel bad about your life changing and wanting different things. There was a time I could not ever imagine not having a horse in my life, where now I am enjoying not having to trudge round in the mud and cold. I no longer have to force myself to ride, I ride with friends on their horses when I want to, and enjoy it, and I don`t miss the stupidly early starts on a weekend.

 

[maxapple]

I am currently horse less (well I have one on retirement livery that I see once a month) I had to down size and sell another one a few years ago. It was really hard but when you are not enjoying it anymore it's time for a rest.

I miss riding sometimes but have lots of friends with horses so can get a fix when I want. I'm enjoying so many other hobbies now (running / yoga) and have spare money for the first time in years. I may get back into it in the future but for now I'm happy with my horsey memories and visiting my old man every month who is deliriously happy in the best retirement livery.

Someone else will really enjoy your girl so don't feel bad. Life changes and sometimes a break from things is just needed xx

 

[rachk89]

I agree with dj maybe try putting her on loan. That way you keep her but you don't have to do the hard work for a while and can decide if you are totally fine with her not being in your life anymore.

 

[wills_91]

Well I would say that maybe your bot 100% sure you want to part with her? I also would look into loaning/sharing for a year to see how it goes.