Selling Horse Advice Please

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tinkerflight

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Hello, I am new here and someone recommended you to me for some general advice/help.
I am seriously considering selling my horse as I think she is "too much" for me. I have had her a year or so and we were doing ok, hacking out and had a few lessons. I always knew that I wouldn't be able to hack her out with other horses confidently or definitely couldn't go to a show/sponsored ride etc with her, but that was ok as we were hacking out together ok.
However, I recently had a near fall in a lesson and I have now completely lost my confidence and cannot get on her at all. This has been a gradual decline in confidence as straight after it happened, we weren'y too bad.
She is a very sweet mare, but she is very forward and enthusiastic and that is what scares me. I would like something that I could jump on bare back and go for a wander round the field, or do a bit of riding club stuff, or go to the beach for a canter along the sand etc. I know at the moment I could not do that on my mare and I cannot see that I can get to the point where I can even think about hacking her out again.
She hasn't actually done anything wrong, I haven't actually fallen off her but she un nerves me as she is so forward.
Anyway, I have never sold a horse before so I was wondering if I could get some advice on the following
Where is the best place to advertise her? Should I put adverts in my local tack shops and/or horsemart?
Am I unlikely to sell her this time of year (winter) or do I need to wait until spring to have any chance of selling her? (I am losing my job too at the end of Jan so it would be more convenient for me to sell her sooner rather than later as I am currently paying for her to be sat doing nothing)

Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
 
Hmm, sorry about your situation. The market is dead at the moment, it must be when reputable dealers are giving horses away! If you can wait until spring to sell her you might stand a better chance.

In the meantime can you get a sharer to help you out with costs and schooling?

What type is the horse?
 
I bought her from a dealer and have contacted her and I think she would have her back on sales livery for me, but it isn't a particularly nice place and she wouldn't be cared for very well and she wouldn't care who she sold her on to. I think I would like to find her a new home myself.
I don't want to share her really as I'll still be paying out and doing all the work involved in having a horse, but not getting the benefit of riding. I also don't want to loan her as you hear horror stories about loans. I don't know anyone personally who might have her and therefore it would have to be a stranger and I just don't want to do that.
If I can sell her, I would like to get a slowerhorse so I can go off and do all the things I dream about doing
 
tinkerflight said:
Hello, I am new here and someone recommended you to me for some general advice/help.
I am seriously considering selling my horse as I think she is "too much" for me. I have had her a year or so and we were doing ok, hacking out and had a few lessons. I always knew that I wouldn't be able to hack her out with other horses confidently or definitely couldn't go to a show/sponsored ride etc with her, but that was ok as we were hacking out together ok.
However, I recently had a near fall in a lesson and I have now completely lost my confidence and cannot get on her at all. This has been a gradual decline in confidence as straight after it happened, we weren'y too bad.
She is a very sweet mare, but she is very forward and enthusiastic and that is what scares me. I would like something that I could jump on bare back and go for a wander round the field, or do a bit of riding club stuff, or go to the beach for a canter along the sand etc. I know at the moment I could not do that on my mare and I cannot see that I can get to the point where I can even think about hacking her out again.
She hasn't actually done anything wrong, I haven't actually fallen off her but she un nerves me as she is so forward.
Anyway, I have never sold a horse before so I was wondering if I could get some advice on the following
Where is the best place to advertise her? Should I put adverts in my local tack shops and/or horsemart?
Am I unlikely to sell her this time of year (winter) or do I need to wait until spring to have any chance of selling her? (I am losing my job too at the end of Jan so it would be more convenient for me to sell her sooner rather than later as I am currently paying for her to be sat doing nothing)

Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
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Hi Tinkerflight,

I feel for you, i have been in a similar stituation as you are now. Although i didnt lose my confidence, mine was more that i got so stressed/ annoyed i didnt enjoy riding the mare anymore as she was a very forward going/ loonatic animal too.

I actually sold her and bought a gelding which was more suited to what i want to do. I was very very honest about her and made sure i sold her to someone i felt was right for her and turned down people i didnt think were right. Unfortunately a year later the mare was PTS due to illness and ive always felt very very guilty and wish id kept her.

so the advice id give now is that a year isnt actually that long to sort a problem so i would keep trying a little longer. Have lessons and losts of them, lessons are so important. There could be small things you could do to keep her calm which you havnt thought of, and lastly if you decide selling is the right route to go down, be honest with people that she is a lively ride and try to find her a good match. Someone else may love a nice forward going horse.

Good luck in what you do, i feel your pain.:)
 
Thank you Billy the Kid, I am happy to have lessons, but because I am losing my job, I can't afford to have many (I was having one every three weeks when things were going ok. I would also be paying out for my instructor to walk me around on a lead rein for a bit (that's if I could pluck up the courage to even get on). I don't think I could manage to be able to ride her for more than a couple of minutes without getting off as I just become overwhelmed with fear.
I know that it is related to her as I rode a friends horse and had a canter and jump on him no problems. I have also had some hypnotherapy to try to help and it hasn't made any difference to how I feel. I have spend over £100 on that so far and I just don't have any more money to spend on trying to fix things.
 
tinkerflight said:
Thank you Billy the Kid, I am happy to have lessons, but because I am losing my job, I can't afford to have many (I was having one every three weeks when things were going ok. I would also be paying out for my instructor to walk me around on a lead rein for a bit (that's if I could pluck up the courage to even get on). I don't think I could manage to be able to ride her for more than a couple of minutes without getting off as I just become overwhelmed with fear.
I know that it is related to her as I rode a friends horse and had a canter and jump on him no problems. I have also had some hypnotherapy to try to help and it hasn't made any difference to how I feel. I have spend over £100 on that so far and I just don't have any more money to spend on trying to fix things.
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Have you got an experienced friend that could ride her for you? This might give you confidence if she behaves for a while with someone riding her. I understand you cant afford lots of lessons, so even if you can ride the horse you feel confident on to get you going again?

Its horrible when fears gets that bad, i had one two years ago that i was breaking in, he learnt he could buck.... and i learnt i could fly!! i ended up petrified and pride shattered. Had to get a friend to ride him for me, he was good as gold, he could just feel my fear and reacted to it. But confidence can come back if you work at it.
Sorry if you have said already... what has made you so scared of her? Did something happen, or is it the fear of what could happen? Do you feel bonded to her?

Also what does she get fed?
 
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I don't have anyone to ride her for me, except my instructor who has ridden her a couple of times. I was jumping her when I had my near fall. A lot of things happened, someone else came in the school and I was doing a double for the first time and I was very nervous about the whole thing but tried to pretend that I wasn't. I think I tried to collect her up too much and she kind of exploded on me and we had a few leaps as we came into the jumps. I now can't get that out of my head. My instructor has jumped her since and she has been fine, she definitely enjoys it but hasn't done anything bad.
 
Glad your instructor is keeping an eye out, with a bit of luck the right person will come along. The another thing that might be worth doing is I THINK that if you take an advert in H&H you're allowed to post it here (hopefully someone can confirm or you could check with admin). A lot of the posters here are very good at helping get advert wording and pics right and it seems to make a huge difference.
 
I think spring would be better to sell her, but you could begin by letting your farrier know you intend to sell (farriers tend to know a lot of people and might know someone who would like her) and perhaps put up some ads in tackshops etc?

I'd also try really hard to find someone to ride her as a sharer. Yes, you would have to carry on paying out - but she'll be in regular work and therefore more likely to find a new owner than if she isn't in work at all. Your costs would be lower than sales livery, and you'll have someone to show her at her best advantage whilst she's for sale.

I really do empathise - I came off my old lad and the thought of getting on him after that made me hyperventilate. I knew we weren't right for each other, so I let him go to a great home where his buzziness is appreciated. I'm sure you can do this for your girl as she sounds very sweet and would be great for someone. Unfortunately there is always cost involved. With my boy, I didn't have anyone to ride him and he was 'sold from the field', meaning I got back less than half what I paid. I think you can avoid this with your girl by finding someone enthusiastic to share her. It'll be money saved in the long run.
 
Given that you are losing your job, you may want to look into a sharer simply for the financial side. If you ask your instructor, they may know someone not able to afford to buy a horse but who could afford to share one. This will take pressure off you, as the mare will at least be getting regular work. It is far harder to sell a horse that is out of work!

This will give you breathing space to find a good home, instead of having to rush. In the meantime, you could maybe have lessons on her yourself, but really go back to basics and rebuild your confidence? Ask to be put on the lunge line so that you can focus on your seat, etc. Small things, but it does help.

Another option is to look into putting her on grass livery, as this would again save some money, and sometimes more turn out can help to relax a horse. What are you feeding her? Maybe her diet is contributing to her being so forwards? I used to own one that could not tolerate sugar - it was literally rocket fuel for her!

My instructor always said that forward going was better than ploddy, as they are more likely to pay attention to their rider if they are stepping out nicely, than if they are daydreaming...depends how forwards your mare is really!

What type is she? Mares can be so sensitive, it could also be that she is reacting to you being uncomfortable. Again, lessons could help. But whatever you end up doing, sadly you will not be able to just gallop about bareback on anything, until you get to the bottom of your nerves. I know this from bitter experience, having lost my nerve on a forward going type...:(

Whether the mare is suited to you or not, one thing is true either way. Selling her will not actually make you feel better whilst riding, for a while you may even feel worse, but over time you can rebuild - you just need to be really patient with yourself! However, selling her will allow you to focus on rebuilding yourself, and eventually finding another horse to suit you. But really don't rush into any of it.

Good luck :)

Argh, I took so long typing that loads more info arrived. I will stand by the above anyway, but it does sound like you are stuck on an invisible fear with her. Probably worse that she didn't actually do anything.

Nothing wrong with lead rein, baby steps until you feel better! And ask people not to enter the school when you are riding - just be honest and explain that you are trying to improve your confidence.
 
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If you are not enjoying her and nervous of her put her up for sale now. Horsemart/horse deals/horse and hound/horsequest are the main online sites. However, tack shops and facebook to very well for more local advertising!

If you are loosing your job and not planning to get back on board I dont see the point holding out until spring, least if someone tries her sooner rather than later she will not have had that much time out of ridden work. Also, I don't see how the market is dead there are plenty of horses up for sale. You may not get the £ you want but surely its better selling her and securing a good home. Then you don't have the worry of having a horse but no job.

You can start fresh, get a new job, save up some more pennies and start looking for your new best friend thats better suited to you. Good luck!
 
You say it was a near fall.

Look at it another way, damn good of you to stay on given the circumstances. Your seat is better than you think.
 
tinkerflight said:
I don't have anyone to ride her for me, except my instructor who has ridden her a couple of times. I was jumping her when I had my near fall. A lot of things happened, someone else came in the school and I was doing a double for the first time and I was very nervous about the whole thing but tried to pretend that I wasn't. I think I tried to collect her up too much and she kind of exploded on me and we had a few leaps as we came into the jumps. I now can't get that out of my head. My instructor has jumped her since and she has been fine, she definitely enjoys it but hasn't done anything bad.
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Well sat then for staying on the leaps and explosion!! Obviously its very hard to give accurate advice when i cant see you or the horse but it does sound like she loves life and is maybe a sensitive ride, and you get abit nervous and tight and she feels it. Its the hardest thing to do, but if you try to relax and not hold on so much she may not react so much.

She maybe would be better with a different rider that is used to hotter horses, and like you said, you could get a calmer ned and do all the things your missing out on. Its a hard decision, but remember riding is meant to be fun!:)
 
thanks for all your help and advice everyone, I will try to find someone to ride her for me just to keep her ticking over and then that might make her easier to sell.
She is a sensitive ride, my instructor loves her and rides her really well (as she should!). She is quite strong willed and therefore doesn't like to be collected up too much- that was the reason for the explosion! I think she definitely feels that I am tense and it is just becoming a vicious circle. I have really reid to relax as i know that's what I need to do but I just can't do it.
She currently lives out, she is a good doer and therefore I don't feed her much, she has a sugar, mollasses and cereal free diet and is just fed on fibre, mostly hay. I also give her a magnesium calmer but I'm not sure how much good that does!
I just feel like I work really hard to have a horse and it is making me miserable. I want it to be fun again, I want to be able to go and do all the things i would like to without worrying.
It is a very hard decision as I love my animals and I get them with the full intention of having them for the rest of their lives. I have my old mare who is now 34 and I got her when she was 5, but I also think that I have to maybe face up to the fact that we're just not suited to eachother and we might be happier if she found a better home.
 
She doesn't sound naughty and just sounds to me as if you need to trust her more :)
Confidence is such a crap thing to lose, I lost mine and haven't ridden for over a year or so. I do miss it and I think I'd probably be more confident but then again I'm not sure! Don't be ashamed to be led on her via a lead rope. I had to do this once with my old pony to regain confidence! Little steps at a time.

However I do believe if you have this feeling you're not suited then stick to your guns, she may not be suitable for you and I do believe you need the right horse for you to make you feel 100% comfortable with one another. Like the others say spring may be a better time to sell but you could always advertise now, get the feelers out a little. Good luck :)
 
I do think that i would probably "get there" in the end with her by going back to basics but I keep my horses on my own and have no one around to help me regularly. My instrustor will help me but I can't afford many lessons and therefore if i'm being led around the school once every couple of weeks, I feel that the progress will be very slow. I have lots of other things going on in my life, including having to find a new job at the end of January and would prefer my horse to be a source of relaxation, not another source of stress and worry. I know that probably sounds very defeatist but I just need to be realistic.
She isn't naughty at all and none of it is done through malice, she is very sweet natured and gentle. She just enjoys her work and likes to have fun!
 
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