Selling up to go back to livery.

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Ilovefoals

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Has anyone ever done it?

We have had our own land and stables for 4yrs now and it's such a struggle. Our house is far too big and needs a lot doing to it, the stables need a new roof, the school needs a new surface as well as the usual jobs such as weed spraying, poo picking etc etc.

We have spent a fortune on re tiling the house roof and doing it up tho there is still a lot to be done. We earn enough to pay our mortgage and other bills but can't afford to save any money towards doing these other jobs.

I feel really lonely here too. We are very isolated and I have no company. I have a rising 5yr old who I want to hack and compete etc this year but I have no confidence to do it alone :( I feel like if I were back in livery, I'd find it so much easier to get out and do things. I do have transport so can go to RC stuff etc but I lack motivation to do it. My daughter is 6 and has a pony who she is learning on at the moment. I worry that she's not getting as much fun out of it either as I'm really unenthusiastic about it at the mo. I guess I'm just fed up really :( I have back problems which means I'm constantly sore, tho riding helps as it strengthens my core and stabilises my spine. I work nights so I don't have to pay for childcare so I'm knackered all the time and my hubby has to do the mucking out etc when it's my sleep days which he never complains about but I know he doesn't want to do (he's not horsey). I feel guilty that we are in this situation, I'm miserable and tired and he's got to put up with it!

So, we've been thinking about selling up and moving to a smaller house with a smaller mortgage and putting the horses back into livery. I just keep feeling that maybe I just need to kick myself up he ass as I realise I'm so lucky to have this place and people would kill for it. But at the same time, we haven't been on holiday since we moved here, we can only just afford to live and my daughter misses out having neighbouring kids to play with.

Ugh, I just don't know what to do. Any advice or experiences would be much appreciated. xx
 
aww big hugs, its horrible to feel under that kind of pressure.

can you let out to someone as DIY? that way you would have company and contribution to jobs without having to undertake livery jobs for someone? If you had 1-2 other people with you on your own yard that might help?
 
I have considered this but I'd have to sort the school surface and the stable roof before I could and we just can't save the money to do it :( I'm not sure anyone would come just now without the school being rideable especially.
 
Only you can decide what is best for you and your family, I certainly wouldn't go back to livery.
The cons for me would be;
Need to travel to yard, need to fit in with yard routines, not on site in an emergency, need to find a yard where there is someone suitable to ride with (not available on every yard). If you are struggling atm when you can pop in and out of your house/yard at your convenience, I would expect you to struggle more at livery tbh. Who would do your mucking out at livery, would you have to pay for part livery?
My guess is that you are feeling down in part because of the weather, which isn't doing any of us any good and the pain in your back, which I suggest you go to your GP about.
Could your horses live out, to save on some of the work?
 
Completely understand how you feel, we moved to our dream place 9 months ago, we finally got to have our horses at home, but OMG i wish i hadnt bothered. It has caused so much stress & so many arguments, & you certainly dont realise how much work you have to put in to keeping the land etc when you have them at home. It was so much easier when i had them out on grass livery. Ive been feeding hay/haylage ever since we moved in as the grazing isnt up to much (plus im well & truly overstocked & desperately need to sell some).
Its completely taken all the fun out of owning horses & could quite happily give up at the moment. The icing in the cake was nearly loosing my mare on Boxing day. I really dont think all the wet weather has helped though, as my field just looks like a bog & im constantly soaking wet & covered in mud.
Can i make a suggestion to you though? Could you not offer livery to someone so you have someone to ride out with? Thats my biggest problem, i hate riding on my own, but this time of year my partner doesnt have time to ride when hes home & my daughter is in college & doesnt get home till its dark.
 
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Ilovefoals said:
I have considered this but I'd have to sort the school surface and the stable roof before I could and we just can't save the money to do it :( I'm not sure anyone would come just now without the school being rideable especially.
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Dont worry about the school, there are plenty of riders out there who arent interested in schooling, me being one of them. Just make sure your clear about not being able to use the school when you advertise.
 
TBH I've felt this way since the second year we were here. I just didn't tell my hubby as I didn't want him to worry. The yard I'd go to if we sold up is one I was at for years before coming here. It'd be full livery during the week and diy at the weekend. It's a big competition centre with loads of shows, clinics etc so lots to do and pony club rallies for my daughter. I know I can go to all these things from home but being here alone is just not motivating me. I have a severe lack of confidence so encouragement from others is important to me.

My back has been investigated by the doc and they say it's just wear and tear :( I'm currently having acupuncture which helps the muscle spasms but I've worked at studs and nursing homes and have cut corners with heavy work, lifting etc and basically worn my back down. There is nothing they can do apart from give me painkillers :(

The other thing is the money. I work 3 x 12hr nights a week and OH works often 5 x 12hr shifts and we still cannot afford to save for any repairs etc. We have a huge credit card debt and a loan and are really struggling. Our mortgage is huge! But yes, I will miss doing them myself, being in charge of the place etc but can't help thinking my life would be easier in a little house with no maintainence needed. Wish I knew what to do :(
 
Hi there :)

Its always been a dream for me to have my own place - ive been in livery for 6 years or so, but the last year ive had both - 2 at home and 1 at a yard on DIY. Ive also just bought a place and moving next week where i have 5 stables and 5 acres.

I understand the isolation thing - it is hard to stay motivated! I have a couple of good mates come to ride with me and i also try to make sure i go to RC events and have regular lessons.

My plan, is to have a couple of DIY so i dont feel so isolated as it has been a problem in the past, and its hard to stay motivated.

I ummed and aahed a lot about wether to buy a house and stay in livery or have my own place. Having both this year helped me make my mind up.

The biggest problem you may find with livery is that youre not in control. The yard may shut, or you may fall out with someone or find that you have to move yards and none in the area may be suitable. Or something on the yard changes meaning it is no longer suitable. If theres a lot of yards in the area then you may be OK. If not, think carefully as it would suck if you had to sell up your house to move to a different area!

So if i were you i would keep your place and look into possibly doing up the stables and the school with equity from your house - its a sound investment as equestrian properties are increasing in value. Then get a couple of DIY in, or in the meantime look for a yard nearby that you can hack to and use/rent their school - a great way to make new friends!

Hope this helps
 
As there is no emergency to move right away why not take your time and look at a few livery yards, even if they are not ones you will go to if the house move ends up elsewhere. That will give you an idea on what is on offer, prices, feel etc.
 
navaho - yeah, that's what I found! Seemed like such a good idea at the time. And I have already downsized from 5 horses and I'm still miserable. My hubby and I sometimes have huge rows but for the most part, he puts up and shuts up :( He really wants us to leave here and I do see his point. I just feel like I should try harder. But how hard can I try without burning out?
 
Ilovefoals said:
TBH I've felt this way since the second year we were here. I just didn't tell my hubby as I didn't want him to worry. The yard I'd go to if we sold up is one I was at for years before coming here. It'd be full livery during the week and diy at the weekend. It's a big competition centre with loads of shows, clinics etc so lots to do and pony club rallies for my daughter. I know I can go to all these things from home but being here alone is just not motivating me. I have a severe lack of confidence so encouragement from others is important to me.

My back has been investigated by the doc and they say it's just wear and tear :( I'm currently having acupuncture which helps the muscle spasms but I've worked at studs and nursing homes and have cut corners with heavy work, lifting etc and basically worn my back down. There is nothing they can do apart from give me painkillers :(

The other thing is the money. I work 3 x 12hr nights a week and OH works often 5 x 12hr shifts and we still cannot afford to save for any repairs etc. We have a huge credit card debt and a loan and are really struggling. Our mortgage is huge! But yes, I will miss doing them myself, being in charge of the place etc but can't help thinking my life would be easier in a little house with no maintainence needed. Wish I knew what to do :(
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I think in your heart of hearts you have made up your mind to move. You sound unhappy & stressed, life is too short to be miserable when you can do something about it.:)
 
digitalangel - thanks, good advice. We have no equity left in the house as we remortgaged in order to fix the house roof which cost £20k! :( I could borrow money from my folk but they have already lent us so much. I feel beholden to them and I know they'll be unhappy if we sell up.

Ella - my friends run the yard that I'd move to. I've known them years and know the yard well too. I liveried there before. There are loads of yards in my area and I pretty much know most of them so I don't think finding somewhere to suit will be an issue. x
 
Just wondering if youve priced up the work that needs to be done?

You do sound like your minds made up which is a shame :( But if youre miserable i completely understand.
 
I agree with those suggesting you get a couple of liveries.

I have a friend who used to run a livery yard and who sold up and put her horses in full livery. She has never been happier. However, both she and her husband have put on heaps of weight (I'm talking at least five stone each!). Whenever I feel over worked here, I remind myself just how good it is for me and that I don't have to go to the gym to stay fit and slim.

I could never put my horses in livery now. I couldn't stand not being able to just walk out of my house and see them. Also, when my mare was injured and also when she got lami, I was here 24/7 to tend to her. I would hate being a few miles away. It also used to cause arguments regarding the amount of time I spent at the yard, especially at weekends.
 
From a financial point of view, you wont be selling anytime soon, so perhaps the answer is to take a couple of liveries on. If you put the money aside that you get from them perhaps it would help towards the cost of getting some of the jobs done, like the roof of the stables etc. If you can get those done it will make the place more sell'able & you never know, perhaps you might get your mojo back & want to stay?
 
I rented a place for a few years and ended up going back to livery yards. I found the adjustment quite hard. I now have a small field of my own but have gone back to livery yards for a few months in the summer as I have little enthusiasm on my own and a nappy mare :rolleyes: It's great to have the company but after a few months I want to go back to my field :o

If you are confident that you'd be happy on the livery yard it does sound like that it could be the better option.

Sometimes the dream just doesn't work out in reality :(
 
OP - sorry to read of your experience but also good to read such an honest account of what it's really like having horses at home i.e. bl**dy hard work & expensive.

Read so many threads on here of liveries complaining about jobs not being done on their yard not realising that their cheap livery price has to come at the expense of other things.

I think you've made up your mind, however Spring is round the corner and things always look brighter from March onwards. You don't have equity you say, so hard to buy another place with no deposit.

Echo others - get a couple of liveries - you have the space; it'll give you the company and motivation - just like being on a yard, but you are getting paid for it! If you could find a mum and daughter then perfect :)

I know exactly where you are coming from, but like Wagtail says - nothing better than waking up in the morning and calling morning out of the bathroom window to the boys and getting a whicker in return :D
 
I have read a few of your replies and I can entirely sympathise!!!

4.5 years ago the horses moved to our new home along with myself. An opportunity came up with a friend to rennovate a large house in the middle of nowhere but with good access road links.

Up until this point I had always had the horses on livery but having them at home seemed like the ideal thing to do. I thought reduced costs, my rules, it'll be convenient and easy.

The house is fairly old and is split into flats which are rented out and there are a few other derelict buildings that require some work and are council tax liabale, I don't have any stables or school but do have an undercover out building for use with the horses. We've just hit a particularly bad low, tenants have moved out were mid renovation on one flat, the roof has suffered really badly this year with the wet weather (we have about 4 big leaks on the part of the house we live in, although last weekend patched one of them (predicted cost of repair if we get a builder in based on some quotes for parts of it is around £45k))

We have the opportunity to throw the towl in and sell up, the reason we don't is because there are times through the year when the sun is shining (and there is no rain!!) when you realise how nice it is to live here.

Over the last 18 months we have concentrated on reducing our debts, We saw it as a way of having a reserve (clear credit cards) and then we could use the interest payments we were paying to make more progress around the house.

I would suggest that you and your partner concentrate on reducing your debts, improve your cashflow, we only buy budget brands now, all improvement works are generally undertaken by us further reducing cost, the internet is a very valuable resource and there are instructions on how to fix everything!!

I wouldn't be scared and would set about re-roofing your stables, you are probably more than capable of doing it you just don't realise yet. Start making job lists and planning your time with what needs to be done, don't just write it on a scrap peice of paper though, put it in a A4 book with dates and when it was completed. You can then look back over it and see your progress and what you are achieving it is great for motivating you.

Can the grandparents help anymore with Childcare? can they have them on the morning of you getting back from work rather than you staying up? Can they sleep over at their grandparents once a week to give you and your partner a night off together?

The weather dark nights and time of the year are really not helping at the moment, but come spring it will be getting better!!
 
I think you need to give yourself a breather and time to think, before deciding what to do, and the pressure of finances and daily horse care isnt giving you room for that!

I would:

Turn them out 24/7 for the next month, to reduce workload and costs and give you and OH some much needed time off.

Take the pressure off yourself from a riding point of view and give them a month's holiday too - spend some time with OH.

Then have a look, objectively at your financial position and whether you could, and would want to take a couple of DIYs. DIYs would solve a lot of your concerns, they would give you company, and extra £400 a month income (which could go towards resurfacing school/stable rooves after a year, allowing you to either increase DIY costs, or take on additional DIYs). Many DIYs would be very happy with no school, or indeed no stable! Particularly if you have good local hacking/nearby schools to hire/box to. I'm a grass livery at a yard with no school, and am much, much happier than I was on part livery with a 20x60 school!!

If after a month's breathing space you still feel the same, then I'd downsize.
 
I think as other's have said, not all liveries would be bothered about a school so you could well advertise for DIY liveries, with a school that is currently out of use but with plans to resurface within the next 6 months - 1 year. The money you make from the liveries will then help you to cover the costs to sort the stables and the school out within the next year.

However I do get the feeling that you a) could afford the full livery if you downsize the house and b) you were much happier on your friend's livery yard, so perhaps it may well be the best thing to do. I know it is hard to let down your parents if you have borrowed a lot off them, but they will prefer you to be happy rather than you living like you are currently and suffering in silence through fear of disappointing them. Perhaps you could go to them and talk them through your situation, if they hear from you first hand how unhappy you are then they wont be so disappointed.

I think the idea of a horsey holiday is a good one - if there is the option to turn them all out 24/7 for a month and you stop riding for a month you might gain a bit more perspective on the situation. It may also be worth getting your house and land valued too, that might push you one way or another depending on how much it is all worth. If it is more than you expected then that might push you towards selling, but equally if the value isnt what you hoped then you might stay put and try and make it work until the value increases.
 
cheryl138's suggestion is good. I assume you wouldn't put it on the market before March anyway, which means you have got 2 months to get valuations/think about it.
I personally think you may be better off selling as

1. Liveries can be a PITA and more hassle that they are worth.
2. Your husband wants to move and you don't want him to finally stop 'Putting up and shut up' and it to harm your relationship.

I moved from a small house in a town to the farm when I married my husband. It is fantastic, I have my horses at home but I totally see where you are coming from. OH is good about the jobs that come with horses but doesn't like them. I work 2 jobs to pay for them. I have no life! I have no one to ride with, although the livery yard I work at is only 10 minutes hack away so when the weather improves I can go down there.
As well as the horses things, in my old house which I owned (with a mortgage) the heating worked, it was warm, dry, the roof didn't leak and 10 minutes in the garden made it look great. I live in an awesome house now but it is freezing, we can't afford to heat it, we have buckets all around and the walls falling to pieces because of the damp. The garden is huge and I'm no gardener so it looks awful. (Well, its mainly trees, shrubs and grass now so low maintenance, it looks OK in summer if I pull my finger out - when I have time!)

Sorry that is very long.
Best of luck.
x
 
Turn them out 24/7. Feed big bale hay. Get some liveries. If you still aren't happy, sell up.

The grass always seems greener. When I first had my horses at home I actually gave up riding and put them out on loan! I was lonely and the hacking was rubbish (right to roam act has dramatically improved this since then!)

This time round I have two folk sharing one of the ponies so I have company to hack. They are out 24/7. Barefoot. Adlib hay. Well rugged. Only one needs bucket feeds. I am really enjoying it and take them out for lessons once a week and will be taking my daughter and the other girl to PC this summer as well as RC for me.
 
Not sold up but gave up a yard I rented to move to livery. It was a very very hard decision to make but I've been moved a year now & its the best thing I've done :)

I no longer have to mess about sourcing hay & straw, doing repairs & coping with the daughter having to ride only when the ground is good. The yo provides everything, lends everything, they have a great arena & the daughter has people to ride with now too xx
 
i have that issue, i've lost all motivation to ride in the past three months(i don't think it helps due to the weather) but all my life up to the age of 15 i had my horses at home and all was dandy and well, sadly we moved house and had no stables just fields, which worked out well, but then my mum got really ill so moved to london to be near hospital for emergencies, this is when my sister and i found out what a luxury it is to have a horse on livery! our horses started coming to school with us and everything was well, but not at home. Sadly my mum passed away and my sister lost interest so i had to sell one horse, and put my first pony on full loan and we had to put my mums horse on full loan as there is no way that the two most special girls will ever leave out family! so now there is only one horse which is cheaper but my dad hates horses and always will, i have to pay for everything my horse does, consumes, and throws off(shoes) and at this point its running slim, and we then lost our 4x4 as no one had driven it for three years at it was only used by my mum, so now i have no money, no transport, one wonky Tb and no motivation, despite caring for my own horses myself all my life though the obvious help when i was below the age of 10, i now have lost all faith in riding, i can't compete i can't drive to go see my horse and my dads not really interested in helping me get myself to my old glory of eventing...

sorry that was quite morbid but i have needed to get that off my chest for a while because if i mention anything to my family they flip out and say sell the horse though they all know thats all i have that keeps me sane and helps me remember my mum the most(she was my only instructor other than pony club instructors)

Sorry rant over.... the moral of the stroy is i have lost motivation and its horrible but when i do well nd eventually get my horse out (its taken me two months saving anf begging to get the YO to take me xco) you really do feel good about it and motivated to carry on and thats what makes me think that giving up is the wrong decision, though sadly after my 19th birthday i think it will be time for me to put the "for sale due to uni commitments" add up, but hopefully i will find a long term loan because this horse is the last horse my mother ever rode (one of my silly teen sentimental faffs i have)

and here ends my life story!
 
Iv'e always thought I would want my own land and stables. I grew up having the horses at home for a while and I did find it hard to motivate myself but that still didn't stop me thinking that is what I wanted...
Untill I put my horse on Part Livery. OMG I LOVE it!!! I have all of the good bits of owning a horse with none of the bad bits. I go up every day to ride and brush him and trim him and spend time with him but I don't have to worry about poo picking or ordering hay or mending fencing, struggling to get there in time to get him in, sacrificing days out and time to make sure i'm there twice a day ect. He's in a routine, he never gets left in a field on his own or is left standing without hay. It really is amazing!

Now I have a beautiful house, 2 houses actually and if we go away on holiday I know he is taken care of perfectly and by the same people he is used to in the same routine. For instance over New year I went away for 4 days just like that, safe in the knowledge that he was OK. I'm having a baby soon and I know I will still be able to give him the time he needs as I don't have to rush around mucking out ect.

He is not at a big yard but there is always people to ride with, it's social and friendly and good to have support even if it's just having someone there to hold the horse when needed.

After having my horse at home or on DIY it literally is amazing. It's not for everyone. My OH has a dream of owning large amounts of land (like hundreds of acres) and I really could not think of anything worse now, it would be a milestone round our necks in my eyes but he can't see that.

It's also cheaper on part livery as crazy as it might sound as they get savings by bulk buying hay, feed and bedding which they pass onto us and I don't have to worry about maintenance or anything.
 
lucindakay said:
i have that issue, i've lost all motivation to ride in the past three months(i don't think it helps due to the weather) but all my life up to the age of 15 i had my horses at home and all was dandy and well, sadly we moved house and had no stables just fields, which worked out well, but then my mum got really ill so moved to london to be near hospital for emergencies, this is when my sister and i found out what a luxury it is to have a horse on livery! our horses started coming to school with us and everything was well, but not at home. Sadly my mum passed away and my sister lost interest so i had to sell one horse, and put my first pony on full loan and we had to put my mums horse on full loan as there is no way that the two most special girls will ever leave out family! so now there is only one horse which is cheaper but my dad hates horses and always will, i have to pay for everything my horse does, consumes, and throws off(shoes) and at this point its running slim, and we then lost our 4x4 as no one had driven it for three years at it was only used by my mum, so now i have no money, no transport, one wonky Tb and no motivation, despite caring for my own horses myself all my life though the obvious help when i was below the age of 10, i now have lost all faith in riding, i can't compete i can't drive to go see my horse and my dads not really interested in helping me get myself to my old glory of eventing...

sorry that was quite morbid but i have needed to get that off my chest for a while because if i mention anything to my family they flip out and say sell the horse though they all know thats all i have that keeps me sane and helps me remember my mum the most(she was my only instructor other than pony club instructors)

Sorry rant over.... the moral of the stroy is i have lost motivation and its horrible but when i do well nd eventually get my horse out (its taken me two months saving anf begging to get the YO to take me xco) you really do feel good about it and motivated to carry on and thats what makes me think that giving up is the wrong decision, though sadly after my 19th birthday i think it will be time for me to put the "for sale due to uni commitments" add up, but hopefully i will find a long term loan because this horse is the last horse my mother ever rode (one of my silly teen sentimental faffs i have)

and here ends my life story!
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Aww bless you, what a lot you have been through at a time of life when things are meant to be so carefree. Things will get better, well done for hanging on, taking care of your horse and getting on with going to college and Uni.
Promise thing will get better, my parents got divorced when I was 16, messy it was although nothing like what you went through. I found it hard so I cannot imagine how strong you have had to be. The good news is Uni is an absolute blast, you will have the time of your life, find a nice loan home for your horse and he will be there ready for you when you finish :).
 
Having horses at home is much harder work than people realise! It can very quickly turn a hobby into a total lifestyle choice - no days off, no lie-ins, no holidays, field maintenance, repairs, etc, etc. I know it is a big dream for a lot of horse owners but there is no shame in it not being the right choice for you. It sounds as though you feel almost obliged to like it - I'm not sure if that is because you made the decision to buy the place and feel you should stick with it or whether it's because you know there are many people who would adore it (or the idea of it anyway!). Either way, it doesn't matter, because if you are permanently tired, broke and miserable then it isn't working for you! The livery yard you are thinking of sounds lovely and although it may take some adjusting to at first I suspect you may be glad to not have the responsibility of doing everything for your horses 24/7. Take the pressure off a little and I'm sure you'll start loving your riding again. We do this because we enjoy it - if you will take more pleasure from your horses in a livery yard then go back to that and don't feel as though you have 'failed'. You tried something different, found that it wasn't for you and have had the good sense to see that and do something about it. These are just my thoughts and you've been given lots of great ideas from other posters that would be worth looking into, ultimately though it's your decision and you need to have a serious think about what would be best for you and your family. Good luck with whatever you decide. :)
 
Aww OP this is so sad to read but good you are being honest with yourself. You need to be happy and have a good quality of life that's what is important. I used to be on full livery and hated it only because I ended up getting roped on to helping staff as they were my friends so actually spent little time with my own horse and getting no service for what I was paying for. I got the opportunity of renting a small private yard with outdoor school near my parents house and me and 3 friends moved horses. We were working a rota system so we only ever had to go up once a day and each person would get 1 day off a week. I loved it but one girl couldn't hack not being on full livery and one of the issues was she didn't like the work but more importantly the responsibility of field management even although that fell on my shoulders. Liveries came and went and I found people coming from Full livery/Part livery never lasted it was only the ones on 100% DIY that lasted as it was less work for them tending to horse once a day instead if twice etc. 90% of liveries NEVER used school so I wouldn't let that put you off advertising. I have now just bought house with land and find it so much easier as everything is on my door step but I spent 10yrs doing all this at someone else's house. What I'm trying to say is its not for everyone and you shouldn't feel bad for considering it. This is a rubbish time of year and everyone is feeling down together with the stresses of everyday life. Like everyone has said turn horses out 24/7. If u have space I would offer DIY or grass livery in the short term as it gives u some cash, potentially someone to ride with. Maybe an idea to advertise for a sharer if you have more than one horse ridden that might motivate you.

I would speak to OH and think back to the reasons why you left livery and wanted horses at home. And work out finances as livery isn't cheap but if you can afford it and you'll be happy then why not. Other option would be if you kept house put horses to livery but rented fields, stables etc to someone that would give you cash and make it clear they have the run of the place so are responsible for maintaining it etc then you've always got the option down the line to move horses home. Or move to a smaller house with land which isn't as isolated so you could befriend horsey neighbours for support/motivation.

I'm sure there is a compromise somewhere if you talk openly with OH and throw ideas about. No point having horses if you're not enjoying them but equally sometimes we just need a break to get out of the rut. Sending big hugs xx
 
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