Selling up to go back to livery.

I had always had this dream, and almost achieved it but the yard and 6 acres is about a mile away from the house because we couldn't get pp on it. However, I enjoy the peace and freedom from stress and restrictions on turnout that come with livery. I wouldn't give it up, but have seen a house with only 2 acres attached and am wishing we could afford to buy, my intention being to keep the old yard and rent it out as a block as it is a popular option round here, but I would have to consider the future of the oldies who cannot be sold.

Could you not look into renting your house and land while you rent a small house near the livery yard and put the horses in livery? I know of some friends who do it the other way round - they rent out their suburbia house to rent a house with land. It means they keep a safety net home and still have the benefit of own yard.
 
I have almost the same problem. House is too big, needs work, too much land parts of which i have not set foot on for almost a year!!! its to much to take care of on my own. I have reduced my ponies from 6 to 4 over the last 6 months, this has helped, but my husband resents them and the money and time they take, causing severe relationship problems. He resents not being able to go anywhere because of them.
We live outside a small village, i have no horsey friends to ask to help and i work part time including every other weekend to pay for them and i am constantly knackered. My husband works away mon to fri so i am on my own most of the time with 2 older kids at home.
We have decided to move closer to his work, so he comes home everynight, downsize to just a couple of acres and a smaller house, smaller mortgage, closer to my son who can help with ponies if we go away.
It has always been my dream to have my ponies at home on my own land we have been here for 5 years. I will not give it up completly so downsizing feels like the right thing to do for me, i just hope it is enough for my husband!! We will put house on the market i think in May when everything looks tidier. I would not want to go back to livery as i love going out to see them at any time but as i get older i need to make things easier i sometimes feel like i am like a machine and will evetually breakdown then what???
 
I agree with everything you said i had my own place did what i wanted i hated it to its lonely noone to hack out with no one to bounce ideas of. I did sell my house and move back to livery which i do enjoy mostly The bits i dont waiting to get in the school livery owner shuting the fields as to wet and stuff going missing if you had couple of liveries some of this would help i didnt have enough stables or land to do this
 
celia said:
Having horses at home is much harder work than people realise! It can very quickly turn a hobby into a total lifestyle choice - no days off, no lie-ins, no holidays, field maintenance, repairs, etc, etc. I know it is a big dream for a lot of horse owners but there is no shame in it not being the right choice for you. It sounds as though you feel almost obliged to like it - I'm not sure if that is because you made the decision to buy the place and feel you should stick with it or whether it's because you know there are many people who would adore it (or the idea of it anyway!). Either way, it doesn't matter, because if you are permanently tired, broke and miserable then it isn't working for you! The livery yard you are thinking of sounds lovely and although it may take some adjusting to at first I suspect you may be glad to not have the responsibility of doing everything for your horses 24/7. Take the pressure off a little and I'm sure you'll start loving your riding again. We do this because we enjoy it - if you will take more pleasure from your horses in a livery yard then go back to that and don't feel as though you have 'failed'. You tried something different, found that it wasn't for you and have had the good sense to see that and do something about it. These are just my thoughts and you've been given lots of great ideas from other posters that would be worth looking into, ultimately though it's your decision and you need to have a serious think about what would be best for you and your family. Good luck with whatever you decide. :)
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Couldn't have said it better myself :)
 
Wow, thanks guys. I'm touched by all your responses and those who are going through similar, I send big hugs too. I've just had a row with my dad on the phone about it all unfortunately. He says that I'm ungrateful! which maybe I am. I don't know. However, we are going to get an estate agent out for a look firstly just to see what they say. If there is no way that selling will free up some money then there's no point really and we'll have a look at other options such as diy liveries, renting out the yard, perhaps using part of the house for a lodger or b&b tho that will create more work. My hubby and I are going to have a real chat about it tonight. Many many thanks for all your advice and experiences. I have a lot to think about!!!
 
Ilovefoals said:
Wow, thanks guys. I'm touched by all your responses and those who are going through similar, I send big hugs too. I've just had a row with my dad on the phone about it all unfortunately. He says that I'm ungrateful! which maybe I am. I don't know. However, we are going to get an estate agent out for a look firstly just to see what they say. If there is no way that selling will free up some money then there's no point really and we'll have a look at other options such as diy liveries, renting out the yard, perhaps using part of the house for a lodger or b&b tho that will create more work. My hubby and I are going to have a real chat about it tonight. Many many thanks for all your advice and experiences. I have a lot to think about!!!
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Sorry to hear that you argued with your dad, he will come round, parents always do :) ...You are not being un-grateful at all, you went for something that you thought would make you happy and it hasn't, that and it has had a detrimental effect on your funds, relationship, and more importantly...your welfare and happiness and that is something you must put first!
 
Sunshine said:
Could you not look into renting your house and land while you rent a small house near the livery yard and put the horses in livery? I know of some friends who do it the other way round - they rent out their suburbia house to rent a house with land. It means they keep a safety net home and still have the benefit of own yard.
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Thats an option.

I sympathise. I have my horses at home, and it is hardwork, there is always something that needs mending and fixing - both inside and outside the house. It never ever ends!

When I go away, I send the horses up to my friend on part livery, and I seriously dream about sending them there full time and letting the yard out as a whole! We are knocking two cottages into one house, doing most of it ourselves, so its been well over a year, and will be at least another before its done.

Could you let the yard/ a stable cheaply to someone on the condition that they repair the roof. Lots of people have OHs that would be able to do it..

Something that made a huge difference to us was finding a local teen from the pc (we knew her) who comes and mucks out for us one day at the weekend. Gave us a break and a sleep!
 
I know this isn't what the thread is about And I'm sorry for hijacking, but if anyone of you with the horses at home etc could PM me where you found your properties I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
 
For me, riding and horse ownership has always been a social thing. I rarely hack out alone - not because I can't or the horses won't, but because I enjoy company. I ride in the school if I'm on my own, but even then I like having someone to chat to! I suspect having them at home and the lack of company is a big part of the lack of motivation.

The problem is, you're probably going to have to do some work to the house for it to sell more easily - moreso if you rent it out. I'd maybe try some liveries first and reasses in the spring - this rain has a lot to answer for! Maybe you could offer a reduced rate in return for help with some of the work to maintain it? I bet lots of people would jump at that chance. I have a friend with a DIY nut husband who is always looking for a fence to mend or a stable to paint. She can't leave him on his own too long at home or he's knocked a wall down! He gladly does little jobs for me at the yard (fitting hay bar, extra tie rings etc) and at home just because he enjoys it.

ETA I mean maintaining the yard not the house - that would be pusihng things a bit far!
 
dont need to PM, found mine on the internet! (buying) so had primelocationand zoople alert on the words equestrian, acres of land, menage, stables also trovit very good!

Tho i do know a lovely equestrian property for rent in Maidenhead ;)
 
Now that you could PM me about digital please!!
Thanks- I've found that now that zoopla has bought globrix etc, there is now really only that and rightmove! And I atruggle with finding the right properties- must try harder.
 
yes you could try them or there are other agents out there.. my experience wasnt so good with them...

equus property (kent/sussex mostly )
zoe napier ( east anglia )
equestrianpropertyforsale.co.uk
w humphries ( bucks ) ( amazing guy ! )
uklandandfarms.co.uk ( nationwide )
 
Thanks folks. Some really good ideas you've suggested. Feeling a bit better about things now. I feel like it's my fault we are struggling as it was me who persuaded OH to move here and it's me with the expensive hobby. He never complains really tho. Occasionally we have a huge row but I do feel bad about it all. All he wants is a quiet life and a holiday! He works very hard, as do I, so I feel we need some kind of reward for our efforts. Not just struggling with money, time and motivation. Thanks again for helping me to clarify some stuff in my head xxx
 
Firewell said:
Aww bless you, what a lot you have been through at a time of life when things are meant to be so carefree. Things will get better, well done for hanging on, taking care of your horse and getting on with going to college and Uni.
Promise thing will get better, my parents got divorced when I was 16, messy it was although nothing like what you went through. I found it hard so I cannot imagine how strong you have had to be. The good news is Uni is an absolute blast, you will have the time of your life, find a nice loan home for your horse and he will be there ready for you when you finish :).
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it has been hell! i think things are certainly looking up but only because a lot of people have stepped in over the last month, but i must keep going, people go through what i have been through and even more so i do count myself lucky to even have a horse and to even have had a mum for the first 16 years of my life, and the more i persevere the better it gets just need to keep going on wards and up wards, so fingers crossed my boy and i will be up and about soon and things will be running smoothly
 
OP, its sounds as though you are in a similar position to people who have moved abroad and then find they miss home. It takes a lot of courage to say that things haven't worked out, but quite a lot of people do come back to the UK even after going to Australia, or somewhere in Europe with high hopes.

There have been quite a few good ideas put forward. Just having a good think and putting it down in writing can help. Sounds as though your OH could do with a holiday.
Is there any reason not to let the horses live out 24/7? Is there any way of getting someone to look after the animals while you go away? There are freelance grooms around, someone in the local riding club might know and they might also find someone who would like some grass livery.
 
Hi OP, I really feel for you. I have my horses at home and have done since 2000, livery before then. I did not have horses until the age of 32.

Having them at home as been a huge learning curve. My kids were very young and have always had their own ponies at home. They joined the pony club so while they sometimes have not had the company at home they have gone to rallies, camp and competed with friends. These friends are now lifelong chums, they were 6 and under but are now 19 and 15. It is reasonably cheap for them to do all this, perhaps you could enroll your daughter.

I do and always will miss the company of other riders to hack with and share things with but have made some really good friends thru the PC and we have a lot in common.

Our land is crap so while we 8 acres and 5 horses most of it is unusable in the winter which means they are in so much, another guilt trip.

We bought the house to improve, it was awful, had no stables and no fences. The fences then the stables and sandschool were put in before we attacked the house. 13 years later the drive still needs doing, we have only grass as a garden. The stables are timber, not allowed brick built and being on top of the Downs very wet so now need replacing. The sandschool needs topping up.

I too think of selling up moving into a much easier house and shoving the horses in livery but I would miss being in total control and my daughters would hate it. If you can get a couple of liveries in for company, put the horses out they will cope just don't look too hard at them. Join your local branch of PC or RC. I am sure like me you will find others around you to hack and compete with.

Failing the above don't hate yourself or life so much, you have only done what you thought was best and that's all any of us can do. One point in your favour is OH helping you out mine is useless and just says " you wanted them" argg. Good luck :D
 
Ilovefoals said:
Wow, thanks guys. I'm touched by all your responses and those who are going through similar, I send big hugs too. I've just had a row with my dad on the phone about it all unfortunately. He says that I'm ungrateful! which maybe I am. I don't know. However, we are going to get an estate agent out for a look firstly just to see what they say. If there is no way that selling will free up some money then there's no point really and we'll have a look at other options such as diy liveries, renting out the yard, perhaps using part of the house for a lodger or b&b tho that will create more work. My hubby and I are going to have a real chat about it tonight. Many many thanks for all your advice and experiences. I have a lot to think about!!!
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Sorry to hear that this is causing problems with your dad. You need to have a face to face chat about it - I don't think you're ungrateful - just that you're in a difficult position and it's causing problems at home - your dad should realise that you're seeking a solution and i'm sure he'd rather you and your family be happy and united rather than unhappy and rowing.

Do look at the DIY options if it helps - perhaps renting the yard to a YM and you becoming the livery? - That way you won't have the hassle of sourcing hay/straw, dealing with liveries etc - obviously the only provisio is that your horses stay no matter what. And also look into tax implications - seeing as it will be an extra income.

Do a summary of your outgoings and see if you can shave off a few pounds by changing your shopping habits, insurance providers, phone/broadband suppliers etc.

Get a few estate agents along to value the property for re-sale or rental - see if it's possible to sell on without a loss.

Have a look at cheaper property on t'net for an idea of what you could afford (minus livery fees).

Check out the local livery yard and visit at different times of day - chat with staff and liveries - get a feel for it - if you still like it then keep the option open. There's no shame in going to a livery - think of the free time you will have to enjoy the company your horses and have family time.

TBH - Having read your OP you sound low - granted it's the time of year etc. But riding should be fun, it's your hobby and passion, If you are truly un-happy on your own, need a break/holiday, feel obligated to keep the place on - please for your own sanity, your own riding pleasure do consider selling on and taking the pressure off. :)

You don't need to lose the dream of keeping your horses at home - just now doesn't seem the best time ...

Good luck
 
Having horses at home is most peoples dream although, like you say it's not just the buying it's the general upkeep costs and the time it takes. Being under so much pressure must take the enjoyment out of it eventually and it sounds like you are at that stage.

If you like the house and area, would it be worthwhile either renting the yard and land off or even selling? Other option would be to sell the house and keep the yard and stables and buy a smaller house near by.

If you move to a smaller house and have to pay for livery would you financially be better off or would it just give you more free time?

Out of interest whereabouts are you?
 
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I think its easy to get the winter blues but once spring comes and some of the mud goes and there is some green about you feel better, but i find the downsides unless you are seriouly well off, are the cost both serviceing the loan and the cost of maintaining what are often vile drafty old but not nice houses which form part of most of the average"affordable" equestian propertys!!! most only want one thing and that is a couple of hours with a big 360 excavator!!! with plans for a nice well insulated cosy and stylish new build to put in its place, , like one of the gorgous oak frames or just a nice modern style that's what my dream house would be , but im stuck with the leaking roof and the eye popping utility bills Oh well onwards and upwards....:D roll on summer maybe this is the year we can finaly get rid of the ragwort and keep the fencing standing...
 
I know people have already suggested this and I haven't read all the replies in depth, so am probably repeating what's been already said, but if your house is big enough that you could split it into a one bed apartment or large studio without making any structural changes, you could take in a lodger and earn upto £4250 tax free.

If you then offered that person livery (DIY) for one or more horses, you'd only need to declare the livery part of the income, less expenses, so you could easily be bringing in another £500 + per month.

If you chose your lodger as someone that you would get on with and who would ride out with you and had similar horsey interests maybe that would work.

When I was in my 20's I dreamed of finding such lodgings. I'd have been happy with my own bathroom, large bedroom with kitchen/diner facilities, so I could come and go as I pleased and had privacy without encroaching on the lives of the people who already lived in the house, and then had my horses outside.

There are plenty of people out there who would suit this situation so it might be worth giving it some thought, advertising and trialling it on the basis that the lodger would need to help with light DIY in the field/yard; the school may or may not be useable but you could share horse chores and they'd have you to ride with.

I lodged briefly with a woman I vaguely knew from times past who gave me cheap lodgings on the basis that I help her with her sheep/pets and daughters horses and also be there at the weekends when her and her daughter were away competing. There wasn't room for my own ponies, but they were OK where they were so it didn't matter.

Recently in my area a one-bed apartment came up for rent in a rural position with its own 1 acre. The rent was cheap, my friend phoned up about it, and within a day of it going on the lettings market it had been taken!

Quirky sells!

At the end of the day though, you should do what's right for you and your husbands' health and sanity. If downsizing and being less riddled in mortgage debt would take the weight off your shoulders, then do it.

Best of luck
 
Nicnac said:
OP - sorry to read of your experience but also good to read such an honest account of what it's really like having horses at home i.e. bl**dy hard work & expensive.

Read so many threads on here of liveries complaining about jobs not being done on their yard not realising that their cheap livery price has to come at the expense of other things.

I think you've made up your mind, however Spring is round the corner and things always look brighter from March onwards. You don't have equity you say, so hard to buy another place with no deposit.

Echo others - get a couple of liveries - you have the space; it'll give you the company and motivation - just like being on a yard, but you are getting paid for it! If you could find a mum and daughter then perfect :)

I know exactly where you are coming from, but like Wagtail says - nothing better than waking up in the morning and calling morning out of the bathroom window to the boys and getting a whicker in return :D
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I couldn't agree more, spring is around the corner. We have had our own place for 10 years now, I have had diy liveries from word go and so long as your picky with who you have and honest about what's good and what's not perfect it will work really well. My partner doesn't even like horses and doesn't help with anything to do with the horses, so you're quite lucky!

Although it's diy we run a rota so we all have days off, breaks up the constant feeling of chores so you can get back to enjoying some riding.

As far as money goes, I think under the current climate things are a struggle but you'll get through it, and so what if your school needs resurfacing - we don't have one but I plan to event this year, we school on grass, whilst out hacking and hire a school or go out and about for lessons and competing.

Try to make the most of what you have, and good luck in whatever you decide.
 
I have been married for 33 years, my husband has no interest in horses and certainly hates being outdoors but we have bought a run down house with 14 acres.Everyone who looks at it, says we have taken a lot on.
I am not an expert but cut yourself some slack. Think what you need as a couple and forget about the horse,s the school and the fiddly bits they will come later. work out what really needs doing and do only that for a week or so. Have a rest and then make a basic plan. My place is a tip, but everything gets fed watered,and has all the basics done. If you earn a good hourly rate is it beter to do and extra shift and pay someone to do chores. I do not feel guilty about paying someone a couple of mornings a week if I can go to work.
I would not spend money to get liveries, you would have trouble recouping your outlay,if a box only costed £500, but then you would have pressure from someone else to add to what you already have.
We are going to rebuild our house as its basically a shed which means we can build it with modern insulation. I know you need to repair yours but buy Build-it magazine or Home Renervation for ideas to make it more energy effecient.
What ever happens you are not a failure you've tryed it, which is brillant.
I will try and remember all of this when I am slopping through a foot of mud tomorrow. Be careful what you wish for.....
 
I got my dream of a cottage in the country 27 years ago, and I knew from the beginning that I did not want to extend the house to be a burden for me working full time. It is very hard if you are both working hard and really only just managing financially, it puts so much pressure on your relationship, that it is a good idea standing back and saying is this worth it. Only you can decide.

I think you have to be a certain sort of person who likes to spend time alone to live in the country, it is isolated and you can not just pop to see someone, every journey or visit takes time and organising. For me I love the isolation and time alone, but not everyone does. I have seen many people move out locally thinking they want to live in the country, but a lot sell up and go back to be nearer to people and amenities.

I also think there are ways to effect repairs to buildings, reclaimation yards are a great source so you do not spend too much. I also have to say that our land was not good when we came, but now without lot of effort it is much improved. I have not poo picked during the 25 years, and my land is not horse sick, even though I have had 2 horses or ponies on the land all this time. I do dig out any docks, thistles etc by hand, and top the field in late summer each year, and if the weather is good enough harrow in spring.
 
i'd find it really hard to go back, yes there would be people to chat to and sometimes friends for children (but I found not always). but the rest to deal with would drive me mad, you might be changing one set of issues for another. I love going out and doing what I need to do and being able to come back in, get on and return to horses stables later, no hanging around for ages to wait for feeds time or cooling off, no travel time to deal with, no one telling me what time I must be back for and me stressing as I was always late! Making your own decissions on turn out, fields, hay, timings, bedding (and how much extra you pay for it) no comments made about how you are riding or how often, the list goes on! and its difficult to find somewhere that isnt a night mare (I went to pick up a pony for my daughter at a livery yard and I heard 2 women bi***ing about where the farrier was shoeing a horse, my first thought, thank god I'm not in that anymore!)
your daughter can make friends, invite them to ride with her, maybe arrange a ride out when she has horsey friends take them to a beach or farm ride?

or; Have you thought about downsizing housewise but still with stables and land etc? my house is a little 3 bed I have neighbours both sides and those on one side have had horses and look after mine if I'm away :D there are children locally but at the back there are acres of fields and great views. the best of both.
though yes I have to fix the fencing (often! it's all starting to go, just wear and tear) re-do the stable roof, there are still jobs to do in the summer (the water leaks in 2 stables through the bricks at the bottom which is making the beds really wet, I'll have to sort it in the summer) poo pick, and I've not had to spray, top, roller etc yet (or pay the farmer to do it lol) i will in the spring.
I know there are costs to moving as well but downsizing still with them with you might be a possibility?
The other alternative if you want to give the livery and smaller house route a go would be to rent out your house (you'd have to fix any major issues with your house etc) and rent a house, go back to livery. then if you hate it you can go back after a year or so. look into it and cost it out to see if it'd work?
theres no easy answer, I feel for you, is it better in summer? (obviously not the things you want to sort out in the house) but tasks, jobs, no need for bedding and hay as much or are your horses stabled all year?
i hope things work out for you
 
You will find that by the time you've downsided the moving costs will gobble up ££££, and by the time you've forked out livery you'll still be poor.

I'm sure once the sun shines things will look a little better anyway, and if you look at ways to achieve income from what you have eg rent out a room, rent out an outbuilding perhaps, or caravan parking or look at turning a field into a caravan club camp site for the summer (perhaps with optional grazing?) or run a monthly car boot sale, or rent stables/grazing to a DIY livery alongside reducing your running costs (look at changing tariffs for everything from electricity to insurance, shop about for food at Lidl/Aldi rather than Waitrose - check out Money saving expert for lots of ideas, I'm sure you could improve your average monthly financial situation by at least £1K. As for struggling with the chores/maintenance, perhaps you could find a sharer for one of yours for a nominal fee & to do a share of chores/help with maintenance.

Am sure with a bit of inspiration and juggling you can revive the situation without having to pay solicitors and estate agents.
 
Hi and sorry to hear your story as you sound very down. My suggestion would be for you and your OH to do some real life research and find out exactly how much everything is going to cost to move and start a different life in a smaller home and with horsey on full livery. You need to work out:
What mortgage you can afford
If you sell you house will it make enough profit to downscale your mortgage sufficiently to make it worthwhile and possibly pay off some of your debt (or all)
What sort of house will you be able to afford and will it be right for you and your family
Where will the livery yard be and is it likely they can take your horse
What about where you will live - are their houses to buy near by to both your places of work
What is it truly going to cost to move home - estate agents fees, solicitors, taxes, removal costs etc etc - will this be affordable and still allow you to have a smaller mortgage etc
I dont think it is really just about the hard graft of having horses at home, there sounds like there is general struggles going on both physically and financially and you need to document these in hard black and white and make sure that the decision you make is the right one or you could end up no better off.
Good luck, hope whatever decision you make works for you but take your time with it.
 
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