Sense of humour injection - dressage bloopers?

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Kelpie

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OK, taking my youngster out for our first dressage test on Sunday!!!! Only a little local unaff intro test which should be well within her capabilities (and hopefully later in the year she's destined to do some eventing anyway) but the real issue is that this will be her first "party" and she can be quite hot in company so I'm prepared for an "interesting" ride - particularly in the warm-up arena!

Some of the threads on here lately about warm up ring tips I'll definately take on board (.... do you think if I plaited in a skull and crossbones ribbon into her tail as well as a red and a green ribbon, people would take the hint not to come up behind us??).

However, what I think I need most is a sense of humour injection and a reminder that if we have to abort plans in the dressage test/ make a horribly embarrassing effort then its really not the end of the world...... so, anyone fancy sharing their dressage bloopers?/ what's the worst/ most embarassing thing you've ever done??
 
I posted this one in new lounge (or whatever it's called now)


Is no-one else snorting with laughter at Hex's friend & their army salute?

The best judges comment was a few years ago. My eldest son was Nearly 3. I had taken him with me to a dressage comp in a large, posh indoor arena. He was being looked after by a friend & they were sitting in the spectators area to watch me.
It was all very quiet & serious. Then as I trotted up the centre line my son shouted at the top of his voice
'MUMMY! MUMMY! I NEED A POO! I NEED A POO!'
I could hear my friend trying desperately to hush him & get him out of the stands & all I could see was the judge & writer roaring with laughter.
The comments were
'Well done for keeping calm despite obvious distractions (maybe leave him at home with Daddy next time)
 
I ended up riding my entire first test in one half of the school as my mare refused to go down one end! Pretty awful i think it was an amazing score of 38% :D
 
Um, carted down the centre line and only just managed to avoid the judges car.

Jumped out of the arena (and back in again).

Bucked right the way up his neck so I was almost hanging on to his ears and heading for the exit at great speed.

Another test I was so pleased to finish that I forgot to salute and then remembered just as I was walking out.

Oh, and learned the wrong test but was so convinced I was right I tried to convince the judge she was wrong when she got out of the car.

God - I should really give up!
 
My sister had two horses at regionals two years ago, both REFUSED to go into one corner of the arena, so test had to be performed on 3/4 of the space. Sadly, as it was a championship, BD publish the scores, despite both being in the mid 50% range, tarnishing both horses records.
 
Mare decided that the whole test was going to be done in canter, and any attempts to persuade her to trot resulted in her leaping forward into canter followed by an explosive series of flying changes.

Rather stupidly, I decided to do a test on the same mare at the local hunt show, where the arena was intermittent boards, on grass in a large field next to the lorry park. Heading in canter across the diagonal towards A with the intention of trotting between X and F, out came the flying changes again, and she hooked off with me out of the arena and halfway to the lorry. I was allowed back in to finish the test and managed to keep her in the same arena.

In her defence, she had previously been a reining horse, and had been taught flying changes as a 3yo, so they were her default in times of stress!
 
My sister was riding a little mare (very little, maybe 12.2hh!) when she was 10 or so for someone. Pony had been a very successful inhand show pony/ broodmare, but needed to be sold and no one wanted her unbacked. So Al got the pleasure of being the crash test dummy.

Took her to her first dressage test, and Flick proceeded to throw the most almighty tantrum at being on her own. She scored 38%, had to redo half the test as she'd gone so fast the judge couldn't keep up and on leaving the arena tried to kick the car in. Comment? "Very pretty pony, who isn't sure she want to be here today. Very well sat!"...

Al also had a pony who got the comment "Dangerously fast". Trouble with moving out of the PC level 1 class, not allowed a non-snaffle... Pony took full advantage of the downgrade from a kimblewick to a snaffle and did what she fancied :D

I got a 27% once on Cheeky. He was just horrendous. He never managed to behave for an entire test, and in this instance the marking was generous to get us that score...
 
LMAO, this is just what I need to hear :) :)

.... Love the judge's comment to you, glamourpuss! - though fortunately(?) my only likely destraction would be hitting the ejector seat button in my saddle ;) ;)

Maybe I could convince the judge that bucking is in fact a deliberate part of the test?? :)

Nice to know that riding the test using only a smaller part of the school is an option, will definately bear that one in mind, it could come in very handy!!
 
My friend started trotting up the centre line, the horse overreached and she went straight out the front door! End of test :D

If your mare hasn't been out before I will suggest you get there really early so she can just stand and take everything in for a while. If you try getting straight on and doing 'work' you may not get any! Give her time to take everything in and decide it really isn't that exciting!

Best of luck
 
thanx ajf.... just seen the times actually and the lovely lovely organisers have been very kind to me (I mentioned on the entry form it would be baby's first test) and they've given me the first slot so it should be a bit quieter :) :) We've schooled there before and she's done clinics before by way of outings but it's moment of truth time now to see how we cope with a little show. We will definately get there mega early and have some chill time before we start working all that, tho!
 
My friends 17hh plus youngster (now going on seven) decided not long after she got him that once a year my friend would be closely reacquainted with the arena surface. As a result at a two day dressage show having behaved pretty impeccably on day one, her first test of day two went something like this

'Enter at A proceed down center line in working trot, bronk spectacularly depositing rider at X. Leave arena (owner to medics tent, horse to stable)'

Friend had some pulled muscles and serious bruising but otherwise fine, Horse went back to being an absolute angel for the rest of the year. :p
 
My and my previous horse's first ever dressage test involved spending the whole test facing the horse-eating hedge. We managed to do virtually all manouevres facing that one way. I was mortified! We got a very generous 55% or something with a very odd comment, "sweet, obedient horse" :confused: I don't happen to think that facing the wrong way through the whole test is terribly obedient! That horse also insisited on jumping "X" in one pair of tests, years later, as there was a dead patch of grass that he was scared of. Oh, and once I was trotting up the centre line at the start and turning right and he suddenly stopped and reared in front of the judge's car! First and last time he ever did anything like that.

Current horse freaked out once when the writer or judge wound their car window down before the test and he took off at great speed, obliterating the C marker in transit. He did that another 3 times during the test :rolleyes: Still managed to come 3rd as the good bits were very good!
 
I fell off and got the big E in the petplans!
I was bucked off as I asked for canter ...

Now if this had been a full rodeo style jobby it wouldn't have been so bad, unfortunately it was a single, moderate-small sized buck that I had no excuse to come off from!!

I was a little red faced in front of 3 judges , meep!
 
I tried a few dressage tests on my irish hunter mare a few years ago who loved her jumping and just about tolerated flatwork. Think short coupled, punchy chesnut mare. She wasn't in any pain or discomfort, just found it incredibly boring. She would regularly rush, get very tight and think of anything to spook at to evade the constraints of the arena. Best judges comment was "I could tell by the look on her face as she came down the centre line she was plotting something!" Never met the judge before but we were both giggling by the end of the test!
 
First ever prelim test was our first time ever in an indoor school, and there were mirrors on three sides of the school and a restaurant on the other long side. Poor horse was trying to shy in all directions simultaneously while we waited for the bell. Bell went, trotted as far as A to enter, horse stopped dead and did a MASSIVE poo at A.
 
Once during the free walk I thought my horse was trying to pull the reins from my hands to rub her nose so I went to give her a discrete tap with the stick to say no, and bad mummy that I am smacked her a little harder than I intended. She retaliated by doing a series of 3 huge bucks in the next movement (the counter canter) to let me know she felt my punishment was way too harsh for the crime!!!
The judges comment was, a little resistant to the aids to go forward!!! Was she watching the same test lol!
I also managed to leg yield in the wrong direction in one test which was annoying!!!
And my old pony who was a XC machine couldn't understand why we had to faff around doing dressage before the fun started found it completely impossible to perform halt immobility 4 secs at C and kept stepping back until we were pretty much at M! I got a 1/10 for that and is the worst mark I've ever had lol
 
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I have a little buckskin pony that I use for jumping - great little jumper but gets very very excited ! She unfortunately had a nasty tear to her DDFT and after a long rehab without jumping, I decided to enter her in a dressage class as I didn't expect her to jump again.

The venue was at the place we normally jump at (we tend to only go one place because she refuses new scary jumps she hasn't seen before ! :o ) she was well used to the routine here.

We warm up fantastic and I'm starting to think it will go well :p we get called in .. so trot around the outside, then the buzzer goes and my pony immediately recognizes the buzzer and leaps off her back legs to go jumping ! :rolleyes: we bunny hop down the centre line, she is very confused and when asked to trot on, snorts and canters on the spot lol... she did do as she was told.. but in the style of 'llama on speed'

.. I took the risk and started jumping her instead :D
 
I've done a whole test in canter, lovely trot speed canter in the trot sections, calm balanced walk speed canter in the walk sections. Do fuss no tantrum just point blank to do anything other than canter (at a ODE and he had his eye on the XC).

Judge was lovely - main comment was 'Polo is not paying attention today!' - in fairness to him, he was paying attention (to the jumping) just not to the test !!
 
Haha, just today I took Gizmo to do 2 long arena prelims. First test was going brilliantly until the canter, where she did about 5 flying changes. Got the sheet back (mainly 7s/8s until the canter where we got 4,4,4!) and the comment read "quality horse, unfortunately test ruined by a number of flying changes- not required at this level!" :o luckily she redeemed herself in the second test!
 
Whilst working at Hartpury College I decided to do a late entry in a couple of BD tests. The tests where outside in the massive arena now next door to the big new indoor. He did a lovely first test but could have had a bit more engagement so as not much time between tests I stayed on and carried on working him. I asked him to collect and sit a bit more, he took offense to this idea, stuck two fingers up at me and bolted :o

For anybody who knows the outdoor arena at hartpury its a big space, he bolted though all the fancy expensive looking horses in the collecting ring upsetting everybodies warm up, jumped the plastic barrier fences (I don't do jumping :eek:) ran straight throu the two arenas, thankfully one test had just finished and the other hadn't started, jumped back into the collecting arena and continued along a similar line for about 4 laps :o

When I eventually regained control you can only imagine the dagger glares I got from all the other competitors, only one lovely lady asked if I was ok and commented on what a great jump he had!!!! :rolleyes:
 
LMAO, great stories.

..... and the "bucking, disobedient" hmmmm...... that would have a slightly different ring to it without the comma (maybe that's something for me to set my sights on and then anything from there is an improvement? :) )
 
Kaisers last test consisted of A-enter at working trot. Just after X- wave your front legs at the judge, show her your belly, and refuse to move in any direction other than backwards :rolleyes: After a few mins of the judge being nice, we we're eliminated. :D

Annoying, as the test he did 10 minutes beofre he got 69% :confused:
 
This isn't me but made me howl with laughter!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyQz6nmgDac

My best one was my little welsh mare who detested flatwork in any shape or form and proceeded to buck all the way up each of the 3 centre lines in the test :o Comment was "bucking hell! pony obviously prefers jumping..." I never did subject her to another test :D
 
Willeeckers said:
Whilst working at Hartpury College I decided to do a late entry in a couple of BD tests. The tests where outside in the massive arena now next door to the big new indoor. He did a lovely first test but could have had a bit more engagement so as not much time between tests I stayed on and carried on working him. I asked him to collect and sit a bit more, he took offense to this idea, stuck two fingers up at me and bolted :o

For anybody who knows the outdoor arena at hartpury its a big space, he bolted though all the fancy expensive looking horses in the collecting ring upsetting everybodies warm up, jumped the plastic barrier fences (I don't do jumping :eek:) ran straight throu the two arenas, thankfully one test had just finished and the other hadn't started, jumped back into the collecting arena and continued along a similar line for about 4 laps :o

When I eventually regained control you can only imagine the dagger glares I got from all the other competitors, only one lovely lady asked if I was ok and commented on what a great jump he had!!!! :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I know Hartpury very well so could just imagine this - PMSL :D:D
 
Dressage test last summer, was trotting around the outside of the arena, which was in the middle of an xc field. Pony took offence to a log near the dressage arena (despite being a machine across country) and spooked INTO the arena! Managed to persuade him back out to the edge, but couldn't get any further around the arena, so had to backtrack, then enter the arena. :o
 
glamourpuss said:
I posted this one in new lounge (or whatever it's called now)


Is no-one else snorting with laughter at Hex's friend & their army salute?

The best judges comment was a few years ago. My eldest son was Nearly 3. I had taken him with me to a dressage comp in a large, posh indoor arena. He was being looked after by a friend & they were sitting in the spectators area to watch me.
It was all very quiet & serious. Then as I trotted up the centre line my son shouted at the top of his voice
'MUMMY! MUMMY! I NEED A POO! I NEED A POO!'
I could hear my friend trying desperately to hush him & get him out of the stands & all I could see was the judge & writer roaring with laughter.
The comments were
'Well done for keeping calm despite obvious distractions (maybe leave him at home with Daddy next time)
Click to expand...

Fabulous. This made me cry with laughter! :D:D
 
Ah Kelpie, thoughts of your first test with your youngster takes me back to mine with Rosie.

It was at a local indoor venue. Rosie tentatively walked in and then was terrified by the sound of the huge door being closed behind us so shot forward next to the judges' car and then refused to move any further!

Much 'encouraging' ensued but she had just 'planted' It got to the point of having to get off and lead her, at which point the judge shot out of the car and said 'no! Don't dismount - I'll lead you round'!! ha ha

So the lovely lady led us all the way around the outside of the arena, then got back in her car and off we went an did the test - fairly OK!

Second competition at the same venue, was outdoor this time. Every time someone walked past the arena on foot or horse to get to the practice arena, Rosie had a panic attack. We left the arena 3 times and were eliminated. Also got lots of comments for inattentiveness, bucking, spooking and all the collectives bits underlined twice!!

Roll forward a decade, doing Munstead BE and we were in the arena nearest the house. We were just trotting round before the test started when someone emerged out of the house. Rosie spooked and bolted from K towards the car - eek!! I'd dropped my left rein as I tend to do when she takes off (my left hand doesn't seem to work all that well!) and was frantically fishing around for it as we bolted towards the judges' car. Managed to grab it back and do an emergency stop right in front of the car!

The poor judge and her writer! They were sooo nice about it!! They told me to ride round and round until we'd calmed down and then to indicate when we were ready to start.

At the end of the test the writer got out and said 'well done' - and the judge wrote some lovely comments at the bottom of my sheet.

I didn't no whether to laugh or cry - it was terrifying!!
 
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