Sense of humour injection - dressage bloopers?

Dancers first test in the scary indoor school at summerhouse with mirrors and white boards was interesting. She spent the entire test with her head and neck stuck up in the air vertical looking either into the mirror or at the letters. This meant shoulder in llama passage as we went past the mirrors (which were along side half the arena). We got the lowest score which must have been 50% if converted to percentage.

In pretty much every test with her now it goes proceed down centre line, turn left or right, jump out of your skin in the first corner, proceed as if nothing happened for the rest of the test.
 
Dunlin's first test (horsey in my avatar), came up the centre line at the start, did a lovely square halt and had what felt like a 5 minute wee. Spectators were laughing their heads off which threw me and I then forgot the entire test and just stood there like a lemon until the judges assistant felt sorry for me and read the test out.

Another time I was doing a test outside and the judge honked his car horn to start and Charlie went mental, bucking, rearing and full on explosion. He finally settled down but then refused to move and was whinnying to everyone else. I put my hand up to quit but my instructor who was watching had run off, she came back with a lunge whip and we did an aerial test. I got 39% and in the extra comments box at the bottom it said "I feel he's a bit young for this atmosphere, he looked very overwhelmed but shows promising movements". I found the judge to tell him that Charlie was 16 years old and was a very successful ODE horse that sometimes reverted to being a baby and taking the utter p :o
 
Not mine, but was at a local dressage day and was reading for a friend. About 10 mins before her test went to tell her that she was on after the chestnut about to go in.

Said chestnut had grown to about 18hh, nostrils flared, small snorts and not sure it had any feet on the ground. Very proper, RP-speaking lady on board looks at me holding my folded in half copy of the test and yells with a panicked shriek, 'don't come near me with that flapping paper! Don't move, don't move right now, I have to go in in a minute!' I was about 20m away at the time and seriously, the test was folded in my hand down by my side. See her plight though, and oblige. Tell my friend her time and go off to the side of the arena.

Of course this coincides with the lady on the chestnut who once again ensures I don't flap my test, so I put it in my pocket and smiled.

She entered at A and the whole crowd could hear her saying (very poshly) "*******ity, *******ity, *******ity' over and over. She gets around to M and horse spooks across the arena, and the '*******ities' crescendo, become interspersed with 'B*ll**ks' and 'S**t' and the louder they get the more the horse leaps around. Eventually someone on the side says loudly 'stop swearing at him, he obviously doesn't like your language' at which point she starts yelling at the person who dared to comment and the horse stops dead. Judges are in hysterics because they can all hear her.

One judge gets out of the box and says 'under normal circumstances you'd get marked down for profanities but as you are rather low on marks I will let them go this time. Are you going to finish the test, or would you like someone to go and get you a strong drink whilst you take that horse back to his box?'
 
Not me, but someone I knew ages ago was coming up the centre line to finish after a very mediocre test (!). Halted for the salute, reins in one hand, horse scratches knee, rider faceplants!!
Stuck to jumping after that....
 
I was doing the second outing test on my then 4yo, his first time in the big outdoor arena. Organisers had some music really quietly coming out of the speakers (I mean annoyingly quietly so you could only hear it now and then). The lovely beastie took exception to Robbie Williams (no angels on that day) and went bolt upright about 10 seconds after entering the arena which I of course slid off from and landed with a thud on my bum. Luckily (???) for me this all happened before the bell went so I was allowed/encouraged/co-erced to get back on and attempt the test (by this point music had changed to a bit of generic pop but was doing a great job of winding said youngster into a coiled spring!), we got about 2/3 through the test when it came to a canter transition which was executed with the flair and panache of a Spanish riding school levade/capriole (well, in my head it was that horrific but it was probably just a small bunny hop in reality) which, since i had given up being even remotely effective at riding after the first fall, resulted in me being deposited and eliminated. Classy!!

Don't worry OP, you'll be fine!!
 
Umm, 4 yr old's first outing, early Dec, freshly clipped (what was I thinking?!), leapt the flowers at A at which point I flew through the air and landed unceremoniously somewhere near X. Scrambled up, smiled apologetically, mumbling "oh dear, baby's first outing", remounted and continued without further mishap. Embarrassing. Best of luck :)
 
OMG, great stories :)

I'm feeling way more cool about tomorrow now :)

The ginger one is washed & plaited and the lorry is loaded. Kinda excited now :)

Promise to report back!!
 
You will have a great day! And best of all will be home by lunch time ;)

Nag and I, one week before end of qualifying points for summer regionals. only had 3 outings, won at all 3 and needed 1 qualifying point to get regionals. dead excited, and suddenly feeling pressure. I had my friend/groom/ lorry driver read for me - just incase. fab test- another friend recorded it and everyone clapped. I was estatic. Judge opened box window and gestured me towards... " fabulous test and I'm terreinly sorry to do this, but your eliminated. as you turned up centre line to halt, my writer and I noticed something..." Now my horse has crap feet and lives in over reach boots... I was gutted, how no-one noticed is beyond me. we would of won the class by 6%

Similar at the only BE100RF we had entered due to time etc. We did a good test, feeling quite smug, came down centre line halt salute go to leave, horn went- had missed last three movements she said she had enjoyed watching him go she hadnt noticed I had cut off last bit of test! She let me restart but I was so crossed and horse convinced he did enough we ended 3 4's and an error.
Loved the video of the roll. I do alot of judging/teaching for local pc and number of ponies that enter at A, down c -line, C track R/L followed by nose down and gallop back to lorry park is unbelievable. Let us know how you get on!
 
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