Separation anxiety - what would you do?

[Identityincrisis]

For background - i have a 13 year old Lurcher who I’ve had for 5 1/2 years. When i first got him, unbeknown to me he had bad SA, which you can understand given he was given up for rehoming. I got him pre covid so WFH was unheard of, he was left alone 3 hours per day as we had no choice. He did chew and often wee’d. Post Covid i moved house which was a much more settled environment and i WFH full time but I still couldn’t improve his SA despite trying and giving him time (i was also limited in the time I could leave him without being close by as i had a horse, too) anyway, he was clearly distressed about being left so i vowed never to leave him again, we’ve made it work for 4 years, on a morning he comes with me to the stables and watches me from the car window. He used to push out the door to make sure I didn’t leave him!

About a year ago he decided staying home with my partner was acceptable on a morning, this was progress and freed up some time for me. Recently, even when my partner isn’t home on a morning, my dog has been showing signs he doesn’t want to come with me, he stands well back from the door, i call him and he doesn’t move, today i gave his collar a small pull and he stood like a rock, i had to push him he then stood half way down the path and didn’t want to go out to the car!

So I can’t be any quicker than an hour on a morning (journey to and from stables is 20 mins each way, 10 mins to turnout) so what would you do?! Would you listen to the dog? I don’t mind leaving him, i just hate the thought of him being distressed. I don’t think he would be left willingly any other time, he just knows the morning routine means I’ll be back relatively quickly

 

[CorvusCorax]

I'd be querying why he didn't want to get in the car, if there is an injury or a bad association with either the vehicle, the journey or something that happened at the yard. Probably something innocuous to a human eye, but which would be stressful for the dog.

 

[Identityincrisis]

I'd be querying why he didn't want to get in the car, if there is an injury or a bad association with either the vehicle, the journey or something that happened at the yard. Probably something innocuous to a human eye, but which would be stressful for the dog.

I think he doesn’t enjoy the journey as he’s getting older, i drive very carefully, no hard or sudden braking, he has lots of ventilation etc. he does have arthritis which is under control with very regular physio and good pain management but his legs aren’t as strong as they were. He has a bed in the back passenger area (seats fully removed and area made low for easy access so he doesn’t have to jump) l understand his reluctance to be in the car when he’s able to stay home in bed!

 

[skinnydipper]

So I can’t be any quicker than an hour on a morning (journey to and from stables is 20 mins each way, 10 mins to turnout) so what would you do?! Would you listen to the dog? I don’t mind leaving him, i just hate the thought of him being distressed. I don’t think he would be left willingly any other time, he just knows the morning routine means I’ll be back relatively quickly

When he chooses to stay home, is he distressed?

 

[Bangagin]

Do you have a pet cam? We bought one very reasonably on Amazon and it's amazing. That way you could monitor if he really is OK being left at home. We have just had to have one of our lurchers put to sleep, and our remaining one is very unsettled when we have to leave her alone. At least with the pet cam we can monitor how distressed she is and we are not far away. We were starting to leave her for short periods and build up, but we have now decided to foster a greyhound and the difference in her when we go out and leave them is staggering. They have only been together for one week, but they both slept solidly for 2 hour this morning when my husband left for work (my son was upstairs and on standby to come down if they got unsettled. I'm guessing you're not in a position to get another dog as company for him, but if you were, and he would accept another dog, that's a possibility?

 

[Identityincrisis]

When he chooses to stay home, is he distressed?

He used to be but I haven’t left him alone for 4 years, he either goes to family while I ride or he comes with me and I don’t ride.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I would always prefer to keep 2 dogs together rather than 1 on his own

 

[Identityincrisis]

Do you have a pet cam? We bought one very reasonably on Amazon and it's amazing. That way you could monitor if he really is OK being left at home. We have just had to have one of our lurchers put to sleep, and our remaining one is very unsettled when we have to leave her alone. At least with the pet cam we can monitor how distressed she is and we are not far away. We were starting to leave her for short periods and build up, but we have now decided to foster a greyhound and the difference in her when we go out and leave them is staggering. They have only been together for one week, but they both slept solidly for 2 hour this morning when my husband left for work (my son was upstairs and on standby to come down if they got unsettled. I'm guessing you're not in a position to get another dog as company for him, but if you were, and he would accept another dog, that's a possibility?

I had thought about a pet cam, it’s definitely something I would do if i did bite the bullet.

Unfortunately another dog is not an option, he’s very dog aggressive…. He’s certainly been a challenge in many ways but he’s a wonderful dog to me

 

[Identityincrisis]

I would always prefer to keep 2 dogs together rather than 1 on his own

Unfortunately that’s not possible, he’s super dog aggressive.

 

[Bangagin]

I had thought about a pet cam, it’s definitely something I would do if i did bite the bullet.

Unfortunately another dog is not an option, he’s very dog aggressive…. He’s certainly been a challenge in many ways but he’s a wonderful dog to me

It was under £30 so it's not a huge outlay and you could literally drive to the end of the street and monitor how he was.

 

[Identityincrisis]

A photo just because I think he’s so handsome

 

[Identityincrisis]

It was under £30 so it's not a huge outlay and you could literally drive to the end of the street and monitor how he was.

I think this may be a plan, i can arrange for someone to turn the horse out so i have more time and I’ll do that

 

[skinnydipper]

he does have arthritis which is under control with very regular physio and good pain management but his legs aren’t as strong as they were.

Just a thought. Pain meds aren't instant. Do you think his morning pain meds have had enough time to take effect before taking him out?

 

[meleeka]

I think the camera is a great idea. Leave him with the radio on and something to lick/chew and see how he is when you go. My camera is this one and was £20

https://amzn.eu/d/jlJ9bSn

 

[Spotherisk]

Try the camera, and maybe a frozen kong or lick mat? And I just wanted to add this pic because I know you can’t have another but look, matching ears!

 

[BallyRoanBaubles]

Another vote for a pet cam, I've got a tapo one from Amazon it's pretty good

 

[Pearlsasinger]

For background - i have a 13 year old Lurcher who I’ve had for 5 1/2 years. When i first got him, unbeknown to me he had bad SA, which you can understand given he was given up for rehoming. I got him pre covid so WFH was unheard of, he was left alone 3 hours per day as we had no choice. He did chew and often wee’d. Post Covid i moved house which was a much more settled environment and i WFH full time but I still couldn’t improve his SA despite trying and giving him time (i was also limited in the time I could leave him without being close by as i had a horse, too) anyway, he was clearly distressed about being left so i vowed never to leave him again, we’ve made it work for 4 years, on a morning he comes with me to the stables and watches me from the car window. He used to push out the door to make sure I didn’t leave him!

About a year ago he decided staying home with my partner was acceptable on a morning, this was progress and freed up some time for me. Recently, even when my partner isn’t home on a morning, my dog has been showing signs he doesn’t want to come with me, he stands well back from the door, i call him and he doesn’t move, today i gave his collar a small pull and he stood like a rock, i had to push him he then stood half way down the path and didn’t want to go out to the car!

So I can’t be any quicker than an hour on a morning (journey to and from stables is 20 mins each way, 10 mins to turnout) so what would you do?! Would you listen to the dog? I don’t mind leaving him, i just hate the thought of him being distressed. I don’t think he would be left willingly any other time, he just knows the morning routine means I’ll be back relatively quickly

I would listen to the dog but try to organise it so that you can leave him for a short time the first time and progressively stretch out the time he is on his own

 

[Identityincrisis]

Just a thought. Pain meds aren't instant. Do you think his morning pain meds have had enough time to take effect before taking him out?

He is on 2 different types spaced throughout the day to provide all day relief, plus he’s on librella. The physio said he looked fantastic today it makes my heart sing to hear how good she thinks he’s doing.

Spottherisk- don’t!!! I never even liked Lurchers until i got him, now I want to adopt every single one in the rescue centres!

I’ve ordered the pet cam so I’ll give it a try and see how we go

 

[Identityincrisis]

Thought I would pop in an update

I got the petcam and had planned a day to trial leaving my boy, of course he didn’t know i had a plan but one morning he was just adamant he didn’t want to come! I was quite worried as I hadn’t had time to arrange for someone to turn out the horse. Anyway, I waited for a few minutes to see what he did and left a key so if he was distressed my mam could quickly get to him. I was gone for45 minutes (quickest i can be there and back) and he was fine!!! I gave him the option of coming with me this morning and he said no, i was a bit longer today (probably 55 minutes) and that was long enough for now, he wasn’t distressed but had got up a couple of times, so I’ll keep it at that for now, while still giving him the option to come with me. So I’m very proud of him