Separation anxiety

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Envey11

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Hi I am new to posting on here but was just looking to see if anyone had any advice.
Basically my mare has major separation anxiety and literally freaks out the minute my sisters horse is looked at. This seems to have gotten worse since I have moved to a lovely new yard which is much quieter than the last one. She has never liked to be alone but was usually fine as long as there was another horse there. She will freak out, barge at the door and just about run over the top of me to get to her. It's now so bad that even changing my sisters horses rugs is a drama for her. Was just wondering if anyone else was/ is in this situation and if there is anyway it can be made slightly better as I am at my wits end.
Thanks in advance x
 
Put her in the barn on her own on a day when you haven't much to do, get camping chair, a cup of tea, and a good book, park the camping chair outside (or in, if you're brave and she's not dangerously nutty) the stall, and let her work it out.
 
Its going to take time, walk other horse a way for 1 minute eventually out of site and build it up over a period of time. This way she always knows her stable mate will come back. I did this with my foal and her field buddy shetland taking turns on taking each other for a walk. I found it built up our trust & bond between each other. Now got to the stage where I can leave her to take shetland to vets for annual booster 1hr journey all around. I come back to all the grooming brushes chucked on the floor from a ledge like she has had a paddy and she will scream and shout but nothing dangerous like jumping over a gate or the fence. Also when I go out on a solo hack with her she doesn't create and shetland just screams and then gets tucked into her hay net. Just be prepared for routine and its going to take a while but if you stick to it it will just become easy one day good luck !
 
I hate to say this, I agree with the others but I have horrid feeling it might not work, would you be able to introduce a small companion pony into the mix?
I would tie her up in her stable [with a breaking tie] when you are tending to the other one. See if that settles her, though expect tantrums at first.
 
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IME the key is that the horse clearly understands the companion will come back, and has to learn to cope for increasing amounts of time. I disagree with Caol Ila, that will increase stress levels to a degree where horse might well hurt herself or you in a panic response.
What worked for us (20 year old who had lived on his own then came here and totally fixated on the other horses) was to fetch him in, give a feed, take him out again.
Do that until she can eat her feed without checking where the others are and gradually extend the time before and after the feed, but never to the point where she begins to panic - once she is panicking you have lost her and she has confirmed her stress levels are what works. She needs to learn she CAN cope and doesn't need to panic, and it takes time and a carefully structured approach. I would say you need to be thinking in terms of at least several weeks working on it daily.
 
JillA said:
IME the key is that the horse clearly understands the companion will come back, and has to learn to cope for increasing amounts of time. I disagree with Caol Ila, that will increase stress levels to a degree where horse might well hurt herself or you in a panic response.
What worked for us (20 year old who had lived on his own then came here and totally fixated on the other horses) was to fetch him in, give a feed, take him out again.
Do that until she can eat her feed without checking where the others are and gradually extend the time before and after the feed, but never to the point where she begins to panic - once she is panicking you have lost her and she has confirmed her stress levels are what works. She needs to learn she CAN cope and doesn't need to panic, and it takes time and a carefully structured approach. I would say you need to be thinking in terms of at least several weeks working on it daily.
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I agree you have to do a little and often, if you can't even get as far as bringing her in then just take her a few feet away, as JillA says never to the point she panics. A couple of years ago I had to move my horses back to where they had originally been, my arab was quite stressy, I could lead him away (in the field) and he was fine but as soon as I unclipped the lead rope he'd take off, it took a few goes for me to realise that I had to walk him away and walk him back or he would come back stressy, once I started walking him back as well he was calmer.
 
Mine are both like this when I take the other one away. So if I go off with one, I always leave the one behind with feed balls filled with nuts and another one with chopped carrots and hay bricks on the floor to keep them occupied. It seems to work. the TB starts shouting when she hears the NF coming back and vice versa, but neither are sweated up or overly stressed when I get back. It's something I'm afraid they have to deal with. In fact I think the NF gets quite excited now when she knows I'm taking the TB out as she knows she'll have her feed toys when I go out! She's absolutely food obsessed, so it does have some advantages!
 
MrsD123 said:
I hate to say this, I agree with the others but I have horrid feeling it might not work, would you be able to introduce a small companion pony into the mix?
I would tie her up in her stable [with a breaking tie] when you are tending to the other one. See if that settles her, though expect tantrums at first.
Click to expand...

This is what I ended up doing. A Shetland pony has been the total answer to what had become a absolute nightmare. My horse would attack other people for trying to do their own horses and just completely loose the plot if they were taken away. Usually he had a favourite but sometimes It was any horse.
I separated him totally from everything else and gave him a week or so with his Shetland. Ive since been able to re-introduce other horses, even in the same field and take them away. As long as he has his Shetland he's ok. Its a bit extreme but his behaviour was truly extreme and if he didn't kill someone else he'd have killed himself.
 
Thanks very much for the replies. Yes think it's probably best to try the walking for a few minutes and building it up. Feed won't work as she won't even look at it if she is herself. I know it will take time just wanted to see what peoples thought were on the best way to go about it as I've never had to deal with this before. Thanks :)
 
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