Seriously stressed out - advise needed

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zoon

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On Sunday I moved my horse to an utterly fabulous yard. He is being looked after so well and it has absolutely everything I need. I had to move from my old yard because the grazing there had become non existant due to far too many horses and very few acres. Horse is a very poor doer so grass is a must for me.

Unfortunately the new yard is 30mins away. On the old yard he was on DIY and it was about 10mins away. Now he is on full livery so I figured the extra travelling wouldn't matter as I would have no mucking out, poo picking etc. My aim was to spend more time with the horse and keep him in a nice routine when I start a new job soon doing shifts.

But I'm getting home MUCH later. I'm very happy with the yard, but after just 2 days I've broken down in tears because the travelling is too much. I am so stressed and the horse is very unsettled when normally he settles anywhere straight away and doesn't bat an eyelid.

OH thinks I should only go down a couple of times a week so there is less travelling, but I can't do that. I want to see him everyday and that was the whole point of moving him onto full livery.

So my question is - do I try to find somewhere closer? Which will probably mean compromising on quality of yard as good yards are few and far between around here. Or do I stick with it and hope I'll get used to it?
 
Where are you based? Perhaps someone on here can recommend somewhere suitable a bit closer? My immediate thought would be that some things are just not ment to be, and if you are both unhappy, perhaps another change is in order.
 
Give it time to settle into your new routine.
Last year I moved 30mins away from my parents (where the horses were to stay). The yard is on my way to work, but at first it was really tiring and I was taking a long time to do things. I just needed to get into the routine- as I am a very routine type person!
So give it a few months before reconsidering another move.
Don't forget your horse will need time to settle to the new place and new people who will be taking care of him
 
I think you need time to adjust, especially as he was on DIY. I'm assuming you used to go down twice a day and now only go once.
When I was a yard that was a bit further away, I'd use the drive as my wind down time. Put mu music on and bop along, or ring my family (on handsfree) and have a good chat with them.

I too moved from DIY to part livery and only need to go once a day but still often go down twice as it just doesn't seem right.

Give it time I say.
 
I used to get home at half 7 to 8. I'd get there at 6 and muck out etc and then ride as in the morning I just turned him out and left for work.

Now I'm getting there about 20 past 6 spending a bit of time with him and leaving - today I got home at quarter to 9 and similar yesterday. I hate to think what time it would be if I rode.

I'm dreading doing it tomorrow now :-(
 
when i moved my horse over the winter to a yard which was about 5 miles away i had to cycle.. my horse settled in well and was looked after FAB, the yard was great.. perfect. it took me time to adjust to cycling all that way, but once i did (i used to cycle 2 mins!) i loved it... give it time.. it also is v. useful being on full livery as i could then go and just ride and spend time with him and not always much out etc. aoart from w/es which was great.. if it doesnt improve try and have a look around to see if there are any other places!
 
Well this is my first ever post (hello all, some of the posts here seem quite scary which has put me off posting before) and maybe a bit of a random place to start, but you gotta start somewhere! Seems you are getting to the new yard only 20 mins later than you were getting to the old one, have less chores to do, are not riding, yet are still getting home an hour later than you were before, even tho new yard is only 20 mins further away from home?? And its only been 3 days ... you and horse both need time to settle in to new routine surely?
 
Deep breaths....just give it time. So long as you have the support of your OH and your horse is happy - then it'll be worth it if it works out. A few days off here and there is actually ok - he's not going to forget you if you don't see him for a day! and it can make you appreciate them even more than you thought you possibly could!!
Review the situation in a couple of weeks and then see how you feel,

(now pour yourself a glass of wine!!)
xx
 
I used to have Rosie 10 mins away on DIY and popped down everyday. She is now at mums 40 mins in car each way. I can't physically get down everyday due to shift work and I am lucky that my parents help me out. I feel guilty that I can't see her everyday, but she is happier than before, so I guess thats what matters. Give yourself some time and if you are really short for time missing the odd day wont kill him! Afterall you are paying for full livery.
 
i'd agree with all the above - give it more time! change is stressful for all concerned, not just your horse.
i am sure there are pros and cons to all livery types. i have mine on DIY and like the fact i can make decisions for myself, etc...but!!! think of the positives of full livery... more time to ride (once you get into your routine), more time to play with and pamper your horse, you get to lie in sometimes, you get to go away sometimes and know horsey is going to be fine...and i am sure others will add more.
so give yourself and your boy more time...and as for the OH's suggestion you only go a couple of times a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think not! In his dreams! LOL!
 
sorry things are hard at mo, you need time to settle, but saying that the dreaded winter is round the corner...
hope things work out for you both.
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Stick with it for a bit, when I got my job in london last year and went from working 10mins from home to just over a 1hr commute I found I wasn't getting home from George until at least 9pm each evening, and like you I was crying because I was so exhausted. But after a month or so I got my routine sorted and it is fine, ok I still have odd days when I'm shattered so I give George a day off (also on full livery), although like you I hate not sseing him. Also once a week I have to work till 7.30 so don't get home till 8.45 and I never go up the yard that day, gives G a break and me and OH time together!! It seems to work and G is as content as he has ever been (he by the way is a 20min drive away)
 
How often did you ride on DIY? If every night then it may be a problem. If not then decide which nights you want to ride and just go those nights. I have always had mine at home but put mine into full livery (schooling livery) after an operation and tbh it took 3 weeks for me to stop going to see her every day ( I was a real pain in the bum I think!) and by the fifth week I was very apologetic when i said i wouldnt be able to go up that week. I think they thought "thank god for that! " No more "neurotic owner" turning up after dark! LOL!!!!I just felt guilty not going to see her but she was being so well looked after it was just a bit daft really! Give it some time.
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I actually think it is really hard to get out of the habit of doing them every day.

Sorry not much help really! But i do know how you are feeling!
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I always had mine on DIY couple of years ago moved them on to full livery, though would have more time to ride spend with them.
I hated it they didn't feel like my horses any more they stopped whinning to me when i pulled up on the yard as they had been feed mucked out brushed ect I felt like a spare part, you don't always want to ride so you just go to spend time with them doing jobs grooming but it was all done, moved them back to DIY
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after a few month as hated it.
 
You do get used to it. It takes me a minimum of 30 minutes to drive from home to my horse and a further 50 minutes minimum to carry on to work, then do it all again in the evenings because I am a DIY horse-owner. That is over 60 miles a day and 3 hours of driving. I leave home at 7.30am and am never home before 7.30pm. My horse is retired but I still like to spend time with her. SHe has to be fed twice a day to get her medication into her so I spent at least 30 minutes with her morning and evening. But it is the best place for my horse and I wouldn't dream of moving her closer to home just for my own benefit.
 
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