Settling in a new dog

[Pudding01]

Hi,

I was hoping for some friendly advice!

I just brought a new rescue dog home today - a 5 month lurcher cross, most likely been in a home before, then via a broken leg ended up in a local animal sanctuary and was there about a month. She is very sweet and loves to have her tum rubbed but understandably is very unsettled and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing?

We have fenced off a huge area in the kitchen to be 'her area' while settling in - has a bed, toys, water etc. Due to her leg injury her walking is limited for the time being. Ultimately she will have to get used to being in the house 4/5 hours a day when I am out but will have plenty of exercise etc before and after.

At the moment she is crying and just wants to come and sit with us and be petted - which is fine and very understandable but on the other hand, I feel we can't hold her paw all hours every day - she will have to learn to stay. Am I doing the wrong thing, trying to resist going to her? At the moment I just want my old and very much missed dog back

 

[Toffee44]

I have just rescued a OES and we have had the breed before, I had never heard one howl until the first night we had him Took them 4 nights to sort out any problems, and to be able to put them in the designated sleeping room without a problem. He still isnt eating two whole meals a day. He still has a odd mumble when I turn the lights out after wee wee time and on your bed.


I have to say start as you mean to go on and dont expect him to settle in straight away. I took Teal on in Feb and he only really settled and saw me as mum from about August time this year. We stayed at home for a week really just to monitor any fights etc, he didnt get fuss over the top.

I thought mine where in a routine but opening to front door this monring at 0550 saying wee wees gave me a filthy look of you want me out in that (raining here). Teal went but Buster hung out with his mate Dylan and went back to sleep!!!

 

[CorvusCorax]

I would stick with it, I have a whiny whiner and if I went to him every time he whined - put it this way, if you lift a baby every time it cries, you will get no sleep.

My pup gets out for play times and sofa surfing, then back in his crate for a while, then play times and sofa surfing, then back in his crate for a while. Bed time is usually 11.30pm, out at 7.30am. He is ALWAYS rewarded when he goes back into his crate, it is never seen as 'isolation' or separation, it is a fun place to go to eat bones or chew a toy.
If he wheedles, he gets ignored, if he really puts it on, he gets a sharp HEY! but that is dependent on your dog, he can take a bit of correction, judge it yourself.

It's only your first day and all dogs are different, be patient x

 

[Slinkyunicorn]

What they all said but maybe add some Rescue Remedy to his water for the first few days/week to help him settle

 

[CorvusCorax]

Just another thought, make 'her' area smaller, not 'huge' - most dogs like to retire to a cosy den, rather than a wide open space, maybe one corner or even a covered crate?

 

[AmyMay]

At the moment she is crying and just wants to come and sit with us and be petted

Of course she does. Why would she want to be in one room when you're in the other?

Sorry, I really do wonder why some people have dogs, and if they have any common sense at all.......

 

[CAYLA]

You are indeed doing the right thing, rest assured, it is best to have her spend short periods alone in "her space" whilst you are still in the house, otherwise you run the risk of creating separation anxiety which is why alot of dogs are handed into resue in the 1st place, because people make a rod for their own back and use no common sense in keeping the dog with them 24/7 which can cause an over load of seperation anxiety (heightened more so in certain breeds) because they feel "sorry for them/or don't want to hear them cry", if only they thought this way when dumping them onto rescue

Good luck and piccies please

 

[AmyMay]

You are indeed doing the right thing, rest assured, it is best to have her spend short periods alone in "her space" whilst you are still in the house, otherwise you run the risk of creating separation anxiety which is why alot of dogs are handed into resue in the 1st place, because people make a rod for their own back and use no common sense in keeping the dog with them 24/7 which can cause an over load of seperation anxiety (heightened more so in certain breeds) because they feel "sorry for them/or don't want to hear them cry", if only they thought this way when dumping them onto rescue

So, just to be clear. The dog has an unkonwn history (could have been a pet, who knows?), and has been in kennels for a month whilst waiting for a new home.

New home has been found, dog brought home - left in the kitchen whilst owners sit in another room.

Dog unsure of what's going on, probably frightened, and wanting some company and reassurance - but it's ok to leave it on it's own???

Of course, it can't have company 24/7 - but surely it's first week in the house (let alone first night) it might be nice to think it will be given some company and allowed to settle in securely rather than left crying in the kitchen.

Madness, really - just frickin crazy

Again - why do some people have dogs????????????

 

[MurphysMinder]

I know it seems hard Amy May but the OP is doing the right thing. If she had the dog with her all the time she was home she would as Cayla says very likely develop SA.
I don't think the dog is spending all her time shut in the kitchen, she is just having time on her own to get her used to the idea. Our pup isn't best impressed at being left in the kitchen for an hour in the evening and will still sometimes have a whinge, but he is just ignored, he spends plenty of time with us so I don't have a problem with leaving him. We did this from day one when he was a tiny pup, and his cries were pathetic then but we just turned up the tv.

 

[CAYLA]

It is absoloutely fine, infact it is best to start this way, severe SA is very stressful for a dog to cope with and as I said one of the more common reason for dogs to be dumped on rescue, because they scream/bark/destroy when left (this is created by humans) by taking the easy option of having a dog with them 24/7 instead of creating a routine asap, if the OP allows the dog to be with them now at all times (not practical) because they need to go out (cannot stay glued to the house) then they risk creating some very serious SA for this dog, as suggested in this post the most common creator of SA is people taking dogs from rescue and taking time off work and not creating a routine for the dog to spend periods alone, instead they allow the dog to be with them because they feel sorry for them and allow them to sleep in their room at night (which some people) don't want, they then return to work and the dog (does not understand) why they are suddenly alone! and they become very distressed. The dog then ends up back in the kennel in the rescue because the neigbour went mad at the noise and the new owners house became a destruction zone.
Creating the SA in the 1st place is where the common sense lacks.
The best time to follow on a routine is when the dog has indeed been in kennels and has been accustomed to being alone, to then over load it with company is asking for trouble (only the dog suffers in the end)

 

[AmyMay]

I understand what you're saying re SA.

But this is the first night that the dog is at home.

I actually think it's bordering on cruel and is incredibly insensative to this animals needs at this time.

 

[lexiedhb]

So, just to be clear. The dog has an unkonwn history (could have been a pet, who knows?), and has been in kennels for a month whilst waiting for a new home.

New home has been found, dog brought home - left in the kitchen whilst owners sit in another room.

Dog unsure of what's going on, probably frightened, and wanting some company and reassurance - but it's ok to leave it on it's own???

Of course, it can't have company 24/7 - but surely it's first week in the house (let alone first night) it might be nice to think it will be given some company and allowed to settle in securely rather than left crying in the kitchen.

Madness, really - just frickin crazy

Again - why do some people have dogs????????????

I dont think the dog is being left for hours alone AM, (just short periods in her own space- or at least I hope this is the case) but you really do have to start as you mean to go on, this dog will need to spend 4/5 hours alone per day eventually, best thing is to get her used to it by spending time alone with the reassurance that there is someone in the house.

If you dont do this then you run the risk of the house being destroyed when you do HAVE to leave em, and then they end up back in rescue all over again.....

 

[MurphysMinder]

Its actually particularly important the first day/night, if the pup had been with them all the time from coming home it would be a huge shock to suddenly be dumped in the kitchen and left for 8 or 9 hours. Far better to have an hour on her own, then her owners go to her, so she sees the kitchen as a good place.

 

[CAYLA]

So, just to be clear. The dog has an unkonwn history (could have been a pet, who knows?), and has been in kennels for a month whilst waiting for a new home.

New home has been found, dog brought home - left in the kitchen whilst owners sit in another room.

Dog unsure of what's going on, probably frightened, and wanting some company and reassurance - but it's ok to leave it on it's own???

Of course, it can't have company 24/7 - but surely it's first week in the house (let alone first night) it might be nice to think it will be given some company and allowed to settle in securely rather than left crying in the kitchen.

Madness, really - just frickin crazy

Again - why do some people have dogs????????????

The last thing a dog should be given when frightened is "reassurance" the only thing that is likely to happen in this scenario is that the dog associated the whinging with OTT affection and being immediatley let into the company of people, this will not cease when she has to be left alone when the owner has to return to work/go out. A routine is best created asap as the other way round is a sure fore way to create separation issues.
How many post have we seen on here where this exact scenario has indeed happened, obs I see it all the time, it is like I suggested the most common reason we get dogs handed in to us.
When creating the area, there is alot that can be done to settle the dog, feed in the area, leave long lasting treats down/exercise the dog well before leaving it and a DAP plug in can help with anxiety.

 

[CAYLA]

I understand what you're saying re SA.

But this is the first night that the dog is at home.

I actually think it's bordering on cruel and is incredibly insensative to this animals needs at this time.

This is the most detrimental time to not over load the dog with affection/attention and to create the routine, otherwise this is a sure fire way of creating issues, to me it's alot (I would not say cruel) because it not cruel at all. its a lot more confusing to give attention then take it away (which they will have to do in order to begin to leave the dog).

The OP is still in the house when creating the routine, this is the best way to do it.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Amymay, do you have a dog of your own? I mean, not your partner's? I've seen you have this discussion before and wonder if you know what a HUGE rod for your own back you make, when you fuss and cuddle and be with a dog 24/7 and never teach it how to be alone.

People have to work, they have to eat, they have to go to hospital, they have to drop everything to do something in an emergency once in a while and there will be no dogsitter at short notice.
Reassuring and patting and cuddling and saying 'there there' to a whiny dog every time it opens it's gob, will cause you huge problems down the road.

If you don't get them used to it in the first week, maybe you should tell us when you SHOULD do it.

Cayla does actually do this day in, day out, with lots of different dogs, she does actually know what she is talking about.

But sure, the dog is better stuck in rescue kennels or foster than in a loving family home where she has to stop in the kitchen for short periods **headdesk**

My dog is a huge whiner, if you listened to him sometimes you think he would be a cruelty case, he's not, he has just learned that makes people rush over to him to see if he is OK and fuss him. And he settles after a few moments when he realises this is not going to happen.
It is attention-seeking behaviour for my dog and I do not reward a horrible noise with attention, he gets praise when he is calm and quiet.

 

[Spudlet]

Do not, ever, underestimate just how good at training people dogs are. The dog whines, you reassure. Hey, this is great, thinks the dog. Every time I want a fuss, I just whine and they all come running! And then you have an amazing yodelling dog to deal with. I know this because I've bloody well got one - and I've never fussed him for whining, but I reckon someone else did before I got my hands on him.

'Reassuring' the dog would be a huge mistake. The dog won't get the concept of reassurance, just that they're getting constant attention which it will then come to accept - and then when you do have to go out, the shock will be all the greater. In my opinion it is cruel not to accustom a dog to the idea of surviving on its own for short periods of time from the very start.

 

[AmyMay]

I'm not talking about fussing a dog 24 hours a day - just showing a newly homed dog a little sensativity.

I see absolutely nothing wrong in the dog being able to sit with you whilst you are in the house, and especially when newly homed. It needs reasurance, not to be ignored. Cayla says the worst thing you can do is to reassure an anxious dog - I'm sorry I can't agree. A word or a touch is all it needs - not being fawned over obviously.

Whether our dog lives with us 7 days a week is irrelevant. A dog needs to know its place, I agree. A new one needs that and a little understanding and reassurance.

Clearly I'm in a minority - but compassion costs nothing, and I'm saddened to read the replies on this thread. I thought you all had a little more about you than that....

Cayla's situation is entirely different from the pet owner. So whilst I acknowledge her expertise in the field of dog handling etc. the situation is entirely different.

 

[Spudlet]

Amymay, dogs do not understand reassurance. You would be reinforcing the undesired behaviour through positive reinforcement - i.e., adding something pleasurable to the situation, which the dog associates with the action it has just performed. You would in fact be training the dog to whine all the more.

You are anthropomorphising dogs and it is extremely unhelpful. It does not help with training, it does not help dogs to live peacefully with humans, and it does not help the dog, who ends up carrying a huge weight of expectation that it cannot possibly fulfil.

I suggest in this case that a little research on your part is required. And don't start accusing people on here of not being compassionate, how dare you. People on here work their fingers to the bone to assist dogs like this. That they are not fluffy with it is only to the benefit of those dogs.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Do not, ever, underestimate just how good at training people dogs are. The dog whines, you reassure. Hey, this is great, thinks the dog. Every time I want a fuss, I just whine and they all come running! And then you have an amazing yodelling dog to deal with. I know this because I've bloody well got one - and I've never fussed him for whining, but I reckon someone else did before I got my hands on him.

'Reassuring' the dog would be a huge mistake. The dog won't get the concept of reassurance, just that they're getting constant attention which it will then come to accept - and then when you do have to go out, the shock will be all the greater. In my opinion it is cruel not to accustom a dog to the idea of surviving on its own for short periods of time from the very start.

EXACTLY.
The amount of time my trainer has turned to me and said 'wow, that little dog is really working you well!' because I am a sucker for the big brown eyes and the cheeky grin and I have not even realised....

Amymay, you need to read The Culture Clash by Jane Donaldson if you have not already. Dogs don't understand compassion. That is a human concept.
Whine = attention.

So again, if you do not instill this in the first few days, the time when all this routine is imprinted, when do you do it?
You will read tonnes of threads from people on here having to start all over again because either they or a previous owner did not do the imprinting the first time around and they will tell you how hard it is to get a dog out of no or infrequent routine, which is INCREDIBLY upsetting for a dog, to a set routine.

Cayla is training her dogs FOR pet owners, that's where they are going, to pet homes?! And issuing guidance to owners of pet dogs in the home already?

 

[AmyMay]

Amymay, dogs do not understand reassurance.

Of course they do.

You are anthropomorphising dogs

No I am not.

I suggest in this case that a little research on your part is required. And don't start accusing people on here of not being compassionate, how dare you. People on here work their fingers to the bone to assist dogs like this. That they are not fluffy with it is only to the benefit of those dogs.

I don't need to research anything. All I ask is for the OP to apply a little common sense and sensativity.

As for the rest, yes you all work hard to look after your dogs, and love them dearly - that is obvious. And don't tell me none of you have ever reacted in an emotional way to them - that is compasion - and none is being shown in this thread for this dog.

 

[The Original Kao]

Not sure if this is exactly relevant but here goes:

I know litter mates can have different personalities but my pup and 1 of her sisters are so very different and that's been down to nurture not nature IMO.
My pup was out carried in a bag most days into the big bad world from the day i got her. she's been really well socialised with lots of different dogs. gotten used to lots of noises which she whined and shook like a leaf the 1st time i took her out near a busy road and i just kept walking and ignored her, 2nd time she was unsure but not as bad and by the 4th time we went out she couldn't have cared less about all the noises (was so tempting to just clap her and cuddle her and tell her everything's going to be ok) and heavy traffic and meeting lots of people too. Her sister on the other hand has been out in similar situations but her owner has clapped her, cuddled her and reassured her when she was nervous of things. My pup is really confident now, busy roads, big buses, fireworks, nothing fazes her. Her sister is a nervous wreck in comparison and her owner also rewards the nervous behaviour, which i have told her not to do.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Yep, common sense is not going to fuss an unsettled dog every time it whines

Reacting in an emotional way to dogs?

My older dog leans on me and puts his foot on mine. I step away from him. This is not affectionate behaviour, it is insecure and if I allow him to do this, he will keep doing it (knocking me over, but that is by the by) he will never stand up straight.

When I tell my younger dog off, sometimes he throws proper, screaming, throwing himself on the floor, tantrums, which initially taught me to let him go and do as he pleased OMIGOD HE IS UPSET AND I AM HURTING HIM, no, he was training me to let him go and do whatever it was he wanted to do. Now he stays on the floor until he stops screaming. And he is fine.

AGAIN, humanise them (yes Amymay, you are humanising them) overly and being overly emotional, all too often leads to insecure, anxious and easily upset dogs.

None of my dogs heads have ever fallen off to my knowledge. Maybe I am an unemotional automaton.

 

[AmyMay]

Yep, common sense is not going to fuss an unsettled dog every time it whines

Reacting in an emotional way to dogs?

My older dog leans on me and puts his foot on mine. I step away from him. This is not affectionate behaviour, it is insecure and if I allow him to do this, he will keep doing it (knocking me over, but that is by the by) he will never stand up straight.

When I tell my younger dog off, sometimes he throws proper, screaming, throwing himself on the floor, tantrums, which initially taught me to let him go and do as he pleased OMIGOD HE IS UPSET AND I AM HURTING HIM, no, he was training me to let him go and do whatever it was he wanted to do. Now he stays on the floor until he stops screaming. And he is fine.

AGAIN, humanise them (yes Amymay, you are humanising them) overly and being overly emotional, all too often leads to insecure, anxious and easily upset dogs.

None of my dogs heads have ever fallen off to my knowledge. Maybe I am an unemotional automaton.

I can't see where I am humansing - I'm not the one who's saying that a dog put's winning and attention together and comes up 'let's keep doing it'. And you are clearly misinterpretting what I am saying - fine.

Anyway - I'm bowing out - as we are clearly at extreme ends of the spectrum on our opinions.

Good luck OP. Hope the dog settles with you.

 

[Spudlet]

How on earth do you think dogs get trained? They do something, you reward it, they do it more because they associate the two things. Have you even heard of free-shaping? That's where you wait for a behaviour to happen naturally, then reward it - capturing the behaviour as it happens naturally. That's how training works. That's how I trained Henry to retrieve - I waited for him to do it then rewarded, thus conditioning him to perform that behaviour, then only later adding a cue so he would do it on command.

You are making the mistake, common among inexperienced people, that dogs can differentiate between reassurance and praise. They can't. It's all one to them. Reassure them or praise them, there is no difference to the dog at all.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Well read any good dog training guide or speak to any good trainer and they will say the same thing.
That's why they are good dog trainers, those of us working alongside trainers and those of us who are doing training full time, are not plucking this advice out of thin air.
It's not a coincidence that most people on this thread are saying similar things.
Whining as an attention seeking/rewarding behaviour in dogs is a well known concept, I did not make it up and neither did anyone else on this thread.

Really, read the Culture Clash, it is a very good book.
Or come back and give some advice as to how to settle the dog in, as all you have said is that those of us who have given advice are not compassionate and the OP is cruel, helpful!!!

ETA as Spudlet, but I also do sometimes issue verbal correction (which could never be mistaken for reassurance ) in the negative for OTT whining as some dogs self-reward and my dog is a self-rewarder, the vocal talent comes from his fatherline. Lovely singers

 

[lexiedhb]

I'm not talking about fussing a dog 24 hours a day - just showing a newly homed dog a little sensativity.

I see absolutely nothing wrong in the dog being able to sit with you whilst you are in the house, and especially when newly homed. It needs reasurance, not to be ignored. Cayla says the worst thing you can do is to reassure an anxious dog - I'm sorry I can't agree. A word or a touch is all it needs - not being fawned over obviously.

Whether our dog lives with us 7 days a week is irrelevant. A dog needs to know its place, I agree. A new one needs that and a little understanding and reassurance.

Clearly I'm in a minority - but compassion costs nothing, and I'm saddened to read the replies on this thread. I thought you all had a little more about you than that....

Cayla's situation is entirely different from the pet owner. So whilst I acknowledge her expertise in the field of dog handling etc. the situation is entirely different.

erm I was in exactly the same position as the OP- to say that i was not compassionate towards my newly homed dog is insulting.

We had issues, which could well have been caused by my over indulging him those first few days home- I wish i had just ignored him completely to be honest, could have saved much heart ache, both mine and his.

Dogs learn by association- meaning " i winge, someone comes and pets me" never a good thing IMO

 

[Kellys Heroes]

We've just taken in a neglected GSD pup (well 12 months old) and she is just beginning to show signs of SA.

We've had her 4 days and we have a 9 y/o Golden Retriever too. Right from day one, she has slot into OUR routine (as its OUR home and we're not going to start rearranging the known routine around her) - routine is the best thing for dogs, rescue, puppies, oldies whatever.

We didn't overfuss her, feed her treats etc - we walked her (as we would the Golden at the same time) and left her to her own devices. If she came to us, she got a stroke and then left. To say we're cruel is incredibly ignorant IMO!!

We have given her her own space in the kitchen where she now recognises which is good. She has her own toys and she is walked 3x a day etc etc.
When we come home from work, we ignore them both. When they have calmed down, we say hello. When we leave, again, no fuss created.

If she whines its a short "no" and no more fuss or attention. She is petted when she's quiet and therefore you're not fuelling the 'whine-attention-whine-more attention' cycle.

We're confident that the SA won't get any worse, and we will work on it. I don't think we're cruel or insensitive (and I'm rather annoyed that someone's even suggested that) - I think the people that left her starving in a back yard with no water or toys were cruel and insensitive. We're simply showing her how to be a dog.

The LAST people who could be accused of being 'insensitive' are Cayla and CaveCanem.
K x

 

[CAYLA]

Cayla's situation is entirely different from the pet owner. So whilst I acknowledge her expertise in the field of dog handling etc. the situation is entirely different.

The above actually had me baffled..............I am a "pet owner" I own 10 dogs
It is from my experience as a pet owner and dealing with SA that I can help prevent it in other dogs/with other owners.
My main concern is not for a dog that whines whilst settling into a new home, it is that that self and same dogs will/could be returned to rescue or that the one in it's 1st home is headed for rescue because it has SA and the owner like yourself has little understanding or in some instances (have had enough and don't want to create routine as it is easier to give up) and of course I have zero compassion because I am the one taking it in and having "another sleepless night", the only compassion I lack is for my poor OH who must at some point be at his whits end with what I deal with and it's out of compassion for these dogs that I do many a sleepless night.
AM it is obs hard for you to grasp as Cc metioned , you don't own a dog (I was not aware of that) and I hazard a guess have never owned a rescue dog fresh from the pound/local rescue kennels/experienced SA, so we will have to agree to disagree luckily the OP agrees so the dog has a better chance of remaining.

I just woke up from nightshift and it was indeed a "howling" terrier who woke me, she was a SA chuck out. I never came down and fussed her, I put her outside for the toilet once I heard a break in her hwoling then placed her back in her crate with a kong, she will be off for a walk shortly, this is the kind of attention i give, exercising her as in KellysHeroes example, not lavishing her with physicall/vocal reassurancre for howling me out of bed otherwise she is destined to be homeless forever.

 

[Dobiegirl]

I am absolutely PMSL at this thread, I bet the poor OP will never ask a question again

Sorry Ive missed the joke what is so funny.